Good morning! It’s Friday, the end of another long week, and boy do I have a treat for you! When you think stylish, affordable, high-performance coupes, what’s the first decade that comes to mind? I’m betting it’s not the decade that spawned these two. But as George Santayana said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,” and there’s no way we want stuff like this coming back. So we’ll remember them.
But first, the General was our focus yesterday, and I’m not at all surprised that the “Caddy that zigs” swerved around that lumbering minivan to take the win. We’ve got another Pontiac today, so we’ll see if GM’s orphaned excitement division does any better.
That Catera really is a nice car, and from the sounds of it, it’s a car that many of us – myself included – completely forgot existed until we saw that ad. It just goes to show that sometimes you need to look beyond the obvious choices to find a hidden gem, in the form of a rear-wheel-drive German-built sedan from the least likely of places.
One of my least favorite trends right now among new cars is the black plastic fender arch. Once the domain of tough 4×4 trucks, these ugly-ass tacked-on lumps of plastic have found their way onto every crossover and wagon there is. I guess they’re supposed to look rugged and outdoorsy, but to me, they just look like they’re trying to cover up how lame the rest of the car is, and failing miserably.
When I was a kid, automakers tried the same deception: hiding boring cars under some bric-a-brac so you wouldn’t notice how crap they were. Two of the most common added-on bits of “flair” were landau roofs and window louvers. Neither really helped the car’s styling, and both managed to massively increase the size of blind spots. So today, we’re going to look at two typical ’70s coupes, one that went the Brougham route, and one that chose the Sports path. Brace yourselves; this could get rough.
1978 Pontiac Phoenix – $5,900
Engine/drivetrain: 3.8 liter overhead valve V6, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Clackamas, OR
Odometer reading: 61,000 miles
Runs/drives? “Amazing”
As I’m sure you’re all aware, the phoenix is a mythological bird, famous for bursting into flames every so often and then being reborn from its own ashes. Why Pontiac chose to name a car after such a creature, I’ll never know. I mean, they already had the Firebird, maybe they thought it went well with that? Before this car was called the Phoenix, it was called the Ventura, which is a city in California famous for, I don’t know, being pretty and having some historical stuff.
The Pontiac Phoenix rides on GM’s X platform, shared with the Chevy Nova, Oldsmobile Omega, and Buick Apollo and Skylark. A great many engines found their way under the hoods of these cars; this one has Buick’s 231 cubic inch V6, a precursor to the beloved 3800, and the expected three-speed automatic. This one has a mere 61,000 miles on it, and is said to run and drive very well.
It looks a hell of a lot better than your average X-body does these days, too, with fresh silver paint and a bordello-red interior that barely looks sat in. The sun has worked its will on the plastic interior panels, bleaching them to pink, but everything upholstered or carpeted looks pretty nice. I would like to direct your attention, however, to the shape of the rear quarter window. Here it is from the outside:
And here is a Chevy Nova from another Craigslist listing:
The sheetmetal, and glass, on these two cars is exactly the same. GM just added fiberglass fill panels and slapped some padded vinyl over the whole thing. Reducing outward visibility in the name of “style” is nothing new, it seems.
1979 Plymouth Volaré Duster – $3,500
Engine/drivetrain: 225 cubic inch overhead valve inline 6, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Odometer reading: 133,000 miles
Runs/drives? Yep, but power steering leaks
And here we have Plymouth’s answer to the X-body, the much- and fairly-maligned Volaré. The Dodge Aspen and Plymouth Volaré replaced the Dart and Valiant, and replaced their legendary durability with dreadful build quality and a terrifying propensity to rust. Chrysler somehow even managed to mess up the mighty Slant Six; due to fuel starvation, these cars sometimes have trouble turning left. (Kinda like Zoolander.) Worse, Plymouth sullied the name of the best Valiant by tacking it onto this “special” Volaré: the Duster.
As far as I can tell, the Duster is just a regular Volaré, but with louvers on the rear quarter windows, fancy wheels, and plaid seats. It does have the two-barrel “Super Six” which puts out a whopping 110 horsepower to the rear wheels through a Torqueflite three-speed automatic, the only part Chrysler managed not to screw up (as far as I know). This one does run and drive, but needs “a tune up” and a replacement hose in the power steering.
This interior was probably pretty cool in 1979, but the years have not been kind to it. It’s dirty and ripped, and features yet another cracked dashboard (we’re on a roll with those right now, it seems). Outside, it has some rust here and there, but for a Volaré, this thing is practically pristine.
What’s funny is that I found a post on BarnFinds for this exact car from July; apparently they originally tried to sell it on eBay. Someone seems to think this is a collector’s item, and not a regrettable footnote. But I suppose there’s an ass for every seat, even nasty worn-out vinyl plaid ones.
In the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit that I have owned one of each of these, more or less. I had a 1978 Nova Concours coupe with the landau top (which I removed, which is how I know about the filler panels), and a 1979 Volaré coupe with a Super Six (purchased for five percent of the price of this one; I’ll let you do the math). Neither was what you’d call a good car, but both managed to get me around for a while. Now, apparently, they’re considered classics by … someone. Does either of them strike your fancy? You’ve got all weekend to decide.
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
The Phoenix is actually pretty sharp minus the top and extremely well-preserved. A period (with improved breathing) or modern small block would bolt up easily if you want a little more grunt. Something like this would be the perfect car for someone doing their first engine swap. Knock at least $1000 off, and I’m game.
Dare I say that I kind of like these cars? I’m sure they’re both hot garbage to drive, but something about taking a boring 4 door and turning into a boring 2 door for no good reason grabs my attention.
I’ll go with the flow and vote for the Pontiac. It’s worth a small premium to get a less beat up and worn out Malaise cruiser. If the 231 starts giving you any trouble, you’ll have a perfect excuse to start looking for an upgrade.
I’ll take the Phoenix because I can’t imagine getting busy on those Volare seats. Hopefully doing so in the Pontiac will not result in any red dye rubbing off on any body parts. I assume that’s why we’ve been told to never forget your towel.
I was 100% with the Plymouth till I got to the TOWER OF POWEEEEEERRRRRR
Gimme dat I6, baby.
But, like… Knock at least $1500 off of it
Edit: anyone have pics of what the Pontiac looks like if you remove the cladding? And no, I’m not talking about the Nova, I’m wondering what sort of mounting holes you’d have to patch
No photo because it was nearly 30 years ago, but on my Nova there were a series of little rivet-peg things welded to the sheetmetal to hold the fiberglass panels in. I had to grind those off, and I never did find the correct interior quarter window trim, so I just left it off.
Torch wrote about this at the old site.
https://jalopnik.com/remember-the-past-was-garbage-chrysler-edition-1848363114
Tough call, I love the Volare and it’s goofy seats. The leaning tower of power is a solid motor and it’ll get you where you need to go.
But that Phoenix is much more loved example, so I had to go with it. Imagine putting in a Gen 3, Supercharged, 3800 in that bad boy. What a hoot!
Once again, condition wins the day. Pontiac all the way.
That X-body landau treatment was the most hideous landau treatment in the history of landau treatments. But the Phoenix is almost certainly the more solid citizen between these two.
Mark how come you don’t post the links to the ads? or am I just blind?
Poncho for me, its in really good condition and there are ways to wake up the v6 in these, or do a fun swap with a 4/5 speed!
The header for each car is a link to the ad. I don’t know why they don’t show up in red.
ah I am blind!! thx!
Both of these put the “ass” in classic, but ya can’t play if you don’t pick , so Pontiac Phoenix it is today. I’d rather have the 225 vs. the 231, but not in that Volare.
Pontiac….if I’m gonna drive a powerless POS from the 70’s, it should at least be a good looking powerless POS.
God they’re both rolling disappointment but given the choices here it’s the Pontiac.
That phoenix is pretty sweet. For that condition, it is a hell of a deal.
Per the sage advice of Cake, the bench seat gets my vote.
I’m no louver lover but I came here intending to vote Volare (can anyone read that without singing it in their mind?), and condemn the Phoenix to the phlames, but the condition of the Phoenix, combined with the trusty 231 V6 won me over. My first car was a 1977 Buick Century Special with that engine and, while underpowered by today’s standards, it had plenty of pep and was a reliable cruiser.
“Voooollaaaaareee! Whoaoaoa! Voollaaare, whoa-oa-oa-oa.”
Nope, can’t do it.
I am with you. I have a soft-spot for those performance car cosplayers of the late 70’s. I’d love to resto-mod one and give it same actual street cred. But this one is just too beat up.
The Phoenix, on the other hand, looks like a time capsule in comparison. While both are priced about 2X what they should be in today’s world (OK, 3X for the Vooolllaaareee!), gun to my head, I take the drivable Poncho.
But really, I’d prefer the orange Nova of all the pics. Love those Rally wheels!
The warning is RIGHT THERE in the song! Stay away for the Volare!
I cannot, but in my head it’s the Tony Clifton version. Well, the Jim Carrey as Andy Kaufman as Tony Clifton in the movie version.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ePe7Q_zH1c
This is actually a competition between two Eurovision songs, 1958’s third-place finish, popularly known as Volare but technically titled “Nel blu, dipinto di blu“ and 2014’s winner, Austria’s “Rise Like A Phoenix” by Conchita.
The song Volare was actually used in the Plymouth’s marketing—for an extra dose of ersatz class, they added an accent to the car’s name, making it Volaré, for a retrospectively-ironic “accent on quality”.
Sadly, the linear nature of the way humanity experiences time did not allow Pontiac to do the same, but I think we can all agree that GM’s best move here is to revive Pontiac for this model and this model only, market it using a decade-old song unknown in the US and performed by a bearded European drag queen, and watch the head of every Fox News personality simultaneously explode.
It was certainly very clean example but I am surprised at the amount of love for the Catera as a vehicle yesterday. Now I’d like to see a Lincoln LS vs. a Windstar or Villager in a future showdown.
Despite the ad SHOUTING I’m going Pontiac, the condition is nicer overall and I have to say the reputation of the Volaré precedes it for me.
Parents had both a Dart (2-door) and Aspen (wagon) growing up, so I irrationally went with the Volare. Plus who can say no to plaid seats and window louvers!
I really wanted too: was willing to overlook the seats, but that corner crumple kicked it to the curb. I would love & cherish an Aspen wagon, though.
Not only was it a wagon, but it had a 4-on-the-floor manual transmission (but only had the single-carb slant six).
Ain’t care: would still love it and hug it and call him George
Plaid buckets? Yes please.
As a kid my parents had a Pontiac Phoenix but it was the much, much less cooler FWD 2nd gen Phoenix. It was bright yellow and had a moonroof but still wasn’t cool. One of my happiest childhood memories was the night my mom traded that lemon in on a ’87 Chrysler Conquest TSi.
Anyways, I voted for the Volare, I’m a sucker for louvers.
Me too on the louvers! ????
Obviously I don’t know the market for these sorts of cars, because $5,900.00 feels like too much for a car that seems to beg for an engine and transmission swap, even if it’s in that nice of a condition.
That Chrysler product is hateful.
The Duster has more personality but the price difference between them doesn’t come close to accounting for the worse condition the Plymouth is in, not to mention how much easier and cheaper upgrades will be for the Pontiac. I’m thinking a 5-speed stick and turbo to start…leave the ridiculous top though…
Oh my sweet, sweet malaise era GM, how I love thee. The cars are so unremarkable and phoned in, but I feel like popular opinion on these is rounding a corner and they’re starting to be loved for the nostalgia they inspire. They weren’t cool cars, and they never will be, but they were what was available and thus are intertwined in our memories of vacations, trips to ball games or concerts, nefarious late night teenage shenanigans of all varieties, etc. They were just damn regular, and I think that’s okay
I don’t really want either as both are pretty much malaise era snooze fests in my opinon.
But the Pontiac looks to be in excellent condition and would make a fine weekend cruiser if this kind of car is you jam. The Duster is just a ratty old car of little note and not worth the effort of cleaning up/restoring.
Poncho all day!! You couldn’t get the Volare into the same condition as the Phoenix for the price difference, and the Phoenix could be improved for way less than the Volare.
Yep! Couldn’t agree more.
Ufta May! I’m an X-body fan, as evidenced by my ownership of a ’74 Buick Apollo. But I just can’t with the landau roof. I’ll take the ratty Volare and put my savings towards an engine swap.
Now THAT surprises me.
That’s how much I hate landau roofs.
I also really really love plaid seats.
That Phoenix is just too nice to pass up, and the price ain’t bad either.