A clever and funny friend of mine once told me that she calls groups of Honda Fits, seen in parking lots or roaming free in the wild, a conniption of Fits. This delighted me, so I’m going to repay her cleverness by stealing this idea and running with it for my own personal gain, in this very post right here. Why don’t we have clever names for groups of particular cars? Why do crows with their murders and lions with their prides and rhinos with their crashes get all the fun? They shouldn’t, those smug-ass animals. Time to give groups of cars a chance!
So, with that in mind, we’ve come up with a bunch of names for groups of kinds of cars. Some are specific models, some are entire brands, it just depends. And, we’ve tried to keep this upbeat and pro-car, because our publisher Matt yelled at me when I suggested a Douche of Teslas or an Insecurity of Lamborghinis. So, for the most part I’ll try to make these non-derogatory, but I’m kind of a jerk sometimes, so some might slide in.
Like this one:
But I mean, come on, we can’t be offending any Vega owners, right? They knew what they got into. Anyway, I’ll try to be nice.
All the Autopians contributed to this list, and in that spirit, I absolutely encourage everyone to add more in the comments! This is just a start, and there’s so many more car groups to name! Here we go:
A Conniption of Honda Fits
An Infestation of VW Beetles
A Smugness of Priuses
A Tragedy of Yugos
A Cult of Teslas
A Ring of Saturns
A Clutch of Mazda Miatas
A Dent of Camrys
A Compromise of Corollas
A Stereo Of Nissan Jukes
A Vegas of Dodge Neons
A Lecture of Saabs
A Crunch of Subarus
A Crew of Ford F-150s
A Battalion of Jeeps
A Den of Vipers
A Levee of Chevys
A Headache of Alfa Romeos
An Illusion of Mitsubishi Mirages
An Afterlife of Kia Souls
A Militia of Toyota Hiluxes
An Eternity of Toyotas
A Wank of Mazda RX7s (for Wankel, I promise)
A Keg of Mopars
A Disrespect of Chrysler PT Cruisers
A Hospice of Buicks
A Corruption of Ladas
A Squad of Ford Crown Vics
A Paddock of Porsche 911s
A Target of Toyota RAV4s
A Pub of Minis
A Manor of Bentleys
An Emancipation of Lincolns
A Mullet of Camaros
A Recession Of Nissan Versas
An Oddment of Citroëns
A Desperation of Daewoos
A Depreciation of Maseratis
An Impossibility of Cybertrucks
An Ordnung of Mercedes-Benzes
A Burnout of Ford Mustangs
A Regret of Fisker Karmas
A Surprise of Fiat 500 Abarths
A Fireball of Ford Pintos
A Humility of Renault 4s
A Masquerade of Mitsuokas
A Shock of Chevy Volts
A Kindergarten of BMWs
An Instagram of Chargers (Matt says “Because all of them have those fucking handles on their cars”)
A Garden of Lotuses
An Impound of Nissan Skylines
An Ouroboros of Infinitis
A Wrath of Plymouth Furys
A Lounge of Buick Rivieras
A Buffet of Chevy Cruzes (you know, like on a cruise? Patrick didn’t get this.)
A Confusion of Fiat Multiplas
A Hilarity of AMC Pacers
A Shitload of SUVs
(from our Australian):
A Mang of V6 Holden Commodores
A Crate of Australian AU Ford Falcons
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a RECALL of GM Bolts
a DRESSING of Mazda Miatas
A SCOOP of Pontiac Transports
a DEPRESSSION of Chrysler K Cars
a CONFUSION of Nissan Rouges (idiotic shifter)
(Full disclosure – I’ve had them all – and currently on Miatas #5 and #7 as well as a 23 Bolt UEV)
A cluster of Porsche 550 Spyders (alternatively, Alfa Romeo Spiders or Toyota MR2 Spyders or any other Spider/Spyder)
An inferno of Fieros
A victory of Triumphs
A Pain of Astons
Well played.
A Creep of Jeeps
A Wow of Pao
A Stable of Morgans
A park of Rangers
A nest of Thunderbirds
A sign of Taurus/Aries
A Mist of Avalons
A crisis of Corvettes
A yawn of Camrys
A flying saucer of Probes
A closet of Capris
A galaxy of Comets
A universe of Galaxies
A rally of Subarus
A block of Volvos
A nexus of taxis
A web of spyders
A doubletake of Januses
A glare of hot rods
A flounder of lowriders
An Embarrassment of Aztecs
God… They were so bad!
A Bro of F350s
This one’s for DT:
A Sect of Holy Grails
A Par of Golfs
A box of Fiat Pandas
A job of Minis (after the Italian Job)
A client of Escorts
A villain of Jaguars
A Brinks Mat of Transits
A Bulgin of Renault 4s (after the great man’s definitive piece on them)
That’s all I’ve got. It’s late here and I’m tired.
A Toke of Transporters
A Vape of Subaru WRXs
A Rally of Mitsubishi Evos
An Apex of Mazda RX8s (alternatively, A Bag of Mazda RX8s)
(given how common this tune is on these cars) A Burble of Golf GTIs/Rs
A Lack of Smarts
A Table of Elements
An Ocean of Pacificas
A Klan of K-Kars
An Autopia of Shitboxes
An Asshauling of Amazon delivery vans (or Nissan Maximas)
Judging by their observed behavior in the local freeways…
A Tantrum of Teslas
a twit storm of tesla