Happy Friday, Autopians! For our end-of-the-week special, we’re going to check out two coupes from that dismal decade between the mid-1970s and the mid-1980s. But these aren’t just any old slowpoke Broughamed-out two-doors. They’re both something special.
Why more malaise era cars? Because yesterday’s Little Beige Corvette did so well. I get the feeling that a lot of you voted for it under duress, and that if the RX-8 had had just one more pedal on the floor, the outcome might have been different. But a win is a win.
For me, it’s the Corvette anyway, regardless of transmission. Wankel engines are fascinating, but like Communism or a Vince Neil solo record, they sound a lot better in theory than they actually work in practice. I might not pass up a chance at an earlier Mazda rotary, under the right circumstances, but I’ll leave the Renesis work to serious rotary fans.
Now then: The so-called “malaise era” was full of objectively terrible cars. No one is going to deny that. But one category of cars reigned supreme during this era, and it’s a category I know a lot of us miss – the personal luxury coupe. Sure, they were slow, and excessive, and sometimes a bit tacky, but there’s just something about the idea of a big, comfortable car that’s just for you and one very special passenger that’s really appealing.
But we’re not going to bother with your run-of-the-mill Cutlasses and Cordobas. Today, we’re looking at one personal luxury coupe that has been turned into a dragstrip hero, and another that takes the whole concept of personal luxury to its ridiculous, glorious conclusion. Here they are.
1981 Dodge Mirada drag car – $16,500
Engine/drivetrain: 390 cubic inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Dinwiddie, VA
Odometer reading: unknown
Operational status: Runs 11 second quarter miles, but isn’t street-legal
The dawn of the 1980s was a bleak time for Chrysler. The old rear-wheel-drive platforms were showing their age, the company was reeling financially from poor sales and the Aspen/Volaré debacle, and Lee Iacocca’s infusion of new ideas and government cash hadn’t kicked in yet. But somehow, out of this era came one of my favorite Mopar two-door designs: the Dodge Mirada.
Chrysler had a rich drag-racing heritage, of course, with the famous Hemi engine basically dominating the entire scene for a couple of decades. Chrysler could barely afford to keep the lights on, let alone field factory racing teams during this time, but it did supply cars to some folks who could, like drag racing legend Paul Rossi. The seller claims that this ’81 Mirada was one of the cars provided by Chrysler to Rossi for “testing purposes,” and has a long history of quarter-mile successes to its name. Currently, it is powered by a stroked 390 cubic inch Chrysler LA V8 and an A904 Torqueflite automatic transmission, both of which are relatively new.
Since this car was raced in NHRA’s “Stock” class, it has a full stock Mirada interior, carpet and all. It all appears to have weathered the years at the drag strip pretty well, and those velour bucket seats still look mighty comfy. This car has been a race car since day one, and as such has no title, so it isn’t registered for the street. There may be some loophole that would allow you to put license plates on it – I assume it has a VIN – but as of now, you’ll have to trailer it to the strip.
Honestly, I love the idea of this car, and if it were me, I think I would try to get it registered for the street, so more people could appreciate it. The idea of a beige malaise-era luxobarge that can run 11s just makes me smile.
1979 Cadillac Seville Opera Coupe – $24,000
Engine/drivetrain: 350 cubic inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Granada Hills, CA
Odometer reading: 26,000 miles
Operational status: I assume it runs and drives just fine
“Downsizing” was a new word in Detroit’s lexicon in the mid to late ’70s. American cars had grown to comically large proportions, and to meet stringent new fuel economy standards, some fat had to be trimmed. General Motors saw the writing on the wall early, and in 1975 did something that would have been unthinkable a decade eariler: introduced a mid-sized Cadillac. Traditionalists may have recoiled at the idea, but the Seville sold well, and became a popular subject for customizers and coachbuilders, including the Grandeur Motor Car Company of Florida, who turned a few hundred Sevilles into the car you see here: the Opera Coupe.
Take a stock Seville, eliminate the rear doors, move the entire cowl and windshield back to about where the B-pillar used to be, re-use the front doors, and presto, you’ve got an Opera Coupe. Fill in the now absurd length of the front fenders with a pair of faux spare tire carriers to complete that oh-so-trendy “neoclassical” feel. Mechanically, it’s still a bone-stock Seville, with a fuel-injected Oldsmobile 350 V8 and Turbo-Hydramatic transmission – only now it’s got Cruella DeVil proportions.
It goes without saying that this new and “improved” Seville is now a two-seater. The entire front half of the stock Seville interior is simply moved rearward, to almost where the rear seat used to be. One can only imagine what it’s like trying to park a car from the back seat, with all that excess length sticking out in front. At least it looks like a comfortable place to be.
This car has a scant 26,000 miles on its odometer, and has recently been repainted. It looks – well, I won’t say “good” – but it is nice and shiny. The only other thing the seller says is that it’s “in excellent condition,” which I assume means it runs fine. It’s a pretty bulletproof drivetrain, as late ’70s cars go.
So there they are, the two extremes of what can be done with a personal luxury coupe. Go fast, or get weird; the choice is yours. You’ve got all weekend to think about it. See you Monday!
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
I would absolutely give that Caddy the Superfly treatment, just not for 24 grand.
Wow, Florida Man made a car. Just….ugh. Nope, nope and nope. They must have made methanol instead of moonshine one night and had just enough for that to look good. Dodge since it has enough ponies to make it a good time.
I would rather get arrested driving the unregistered Mirada than be seen in that hideous Caddy.
Gotta be the Dodge, it’s got much of the the malaise gutted out of it, while the Cadillac is somehow even MORE decrepit than it was stock.
The only way you could get me to consider the Caddy is if it had been done to fit some sort of Allison, Packard or Rolls Royce aircraft engine, maybe a Peterbilt V12 or some such, but I shudder to imagine the lonely 350 just hanging way out there with YARDS of completely unused space between it and the cabin.
That is a FANTASTIC idea, seeing one of these with an aircraft engine would be ludicrous, in a good way. Either that or one of the old GM 2 stroke diesels, like a 12-71, lol.
A 2-stroke diesel would be awesome, shift it back far enough and you might even get away with the stock suspension. I know for a fact that one of those aircraft V12’s would need a LOT of suspension/frame work, but that doesn’t make the thought any less enticing.
I was going to comment about dropping in the V12 or V16 aero engine…
I will take the drag car. Least I can have some fun with it. I also don’t think it would be that hard to get it street legal in NC given the year.
Neither, really, but I have always liked the looks of the Mirada, in spite of it being a pile of outdated Chrysler crap. So it gets my vote, although not being street-legal makes it kind of a waste of money.
The Caddy is a lousy car made even worse. No wonder it has such low mileage. It can only be driven between 2 and 5 AM, when no one is around to see it.
It can only be driven between 2 and 5 AM, when no one is around to see it.
You mean from 2 and 5 AM while you’re out checking on your business associates.
Or your female employees!
Employees get benefits. They’re freelance business associates that provide you payment for assorted services.
Allegedly.
That Miranda is all sorts of bitchin’! Being a LA engine too, finding a short block shouldn’t be that hard.
A Dodge Mirada always gets the win.
If it was black, with slotted wheels, and had a side exhaust exhaust? I’d go pick it up now
Maybe it’s just because I’m in Houston but am I the only one disappointed at Cruella Seville’s lack of swangas?
Not really a thing in California. And you’d need six, right? The fake spares too?
It’d be criminal not to include the spares!
It’s definitely a Harris County thing. Even the sheriff’s cars are riding on swangas.
https://abc13.com/harris-county-sheriffs-office-swangas-slab-culture/4554074/
An unmolested Seville in this condition would win handily. But that thing’s been hacked up like a Texas teenager at summer camp in the ’80’s, and I want nothing to do with it.
The Mirada is so beautiful- easily the best-looking PLC of that day. And I learned how to drive on dad’s Cordoba, but I always liked the styling on the Mirada way more.
I’ll take the Mirada and do everything I can to get Alexi Giannoulias to give me some plates for it. “Aw, c’mon, Jesse White woulda!”
If I want a neo-classic 2-seat Caddy with a stupid-long hood, I’m going all-in on pimp style with a Corvorado.
I’ll take the extra $7500 to title the Dodge and put some street tires on it.
The words “drag car” save Mirada.
The words “opera coupe” do not save the Seville.
Easy choice is easy. Mirada
Mirada, please.
This was – surprisingly – a tougher decision than I expected.
The opera coupe is an aesthetically-challenged mess in a huge way. Just… bad. The first thing I would want to do with the Dodge is yank the drivetrain and put it into something that doesn’t look like a Mirada – ideally an E-body but an older A-body would be fine, too.
But the Dodge has a long history as a race car, and gutting it would essentially ruin it. It isn’t readily viable as an on-road vehicle in any case, so I might as well buy it and go racing.
Side note: if you’ve never made a timed pass down the 1/4 mile, you may want to give it a shot: it’s a great experience. Sometimes drag strips will have a “street night” that allows regular people to run their cars, trucks, whatever.
It’s on my bucket list. Someday.
Sounds like an idea for an article….
I wanted to click the caddy, but not for TWENTY FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS. That’s insane money for something that looks like Cleetus built in a meth fueled bender. So. Mirada it is.
This aaallll day. 16 large for an actual racecar of sorts is a much less upsetting proposition.
I just wonder if you could tow the Mirada with the Cadillac?
I might have considered the Seville for the sake of weirdness until I saw the side profile. Nope. I won’t pay a premium for something that looks like Skeeter and Porkchop made it over a long weekend with a 24 pack of Beast and a sawzall. Give me the Miranda, and I will find a way to get it registered for street use as well as the drag strip.
had the chance to buy a stock low mile Mirada for $5k a couple years back. still regret not going for it.
That opera coupe has terrible proportions and I want it. It would be easy to register and title that Mirada in my state, but I want the opera coupe as a Sunday driver. Maybe that means I’m getting old.
That Caddy is NOT too much for me. I love it and hate it and want to stare at it for hours.
I kinda want the Cadillac, but in my state, I bet I could get the Mirada registered, streetable, and maybe even add AC for the price difference.
In the name of all that is Holy, Good Lord man, what have you done? Gotta go Dodge on this one. That cabin looks awfully comfy and IF I could get it registered…
I’m a big fan of tacky malaise era garbage but that Cadillac is too much even for me. Give me the Mirada
Too bad that isn’t the bustleback Seville, because the Opera version of that is among the most baroque of all malaise-era automobiles. To out-baroque it, you’d have to go with a Stutz Blackhawk. Delightfully ugly eyesores, those bustleback Sevilles are, and the Opera variant is even more uselessly ornate and hideous. They even had a diesel variant so you could also be disagreeable to the ears, nose, and tongue in addition to the eyes, as you clatter on down the street!
Since the Seville above isn’t the ugliest version of itself, I’d take the Dodge. Running 11s has lots of appeal.
But think of all the battery space under that hood if’n you electrified the Caddy!
All that battery space is worthless because the car is heavy and has the aerodynamics of a brick. If I were going to make a massive conversion with a big battery, I’d rather have a 70s-era Cadillac Fleetwood hearse, and goth the hell out of it.
I like my little Triumph GT6. The 20.8 kWh pack currently in it should in theory be good for a 150-200 miles highway range once the aerodynamic modifications are installed. The car weighs less as an EV than it did as an ICE! It would weigh even less with a Tesla drive system swap, transmission delete, and a 35 kWh pack of Panasonic NCR21700s, possibly up to 300 lbs less than stock if upgraded as such, and range would nearly double. The idea being, to have the mass of an Aptera and a CdA value only about 25% more than an Aptera, to get Aptera-like efficiency. The Aptera has a 0.13 Cd value, but its frontal area is about 50% more than that of my GT6. I think I can get the Cd value of the GT6 down to 0.25 with extensive modifications. The ADU1B LMans racecar the GT6 was based on has a 0.32 Cd. I could go even more slippery than 0.25 if I had a wind tunnel and was an aerodynamicist that knew what the hell I was doing(I’m not). The GT6 would need a Cd value of 0.19 for its overall CdA to match that of the Aptera, and considering the 1967 Panhard Cd Peugeot 66C had a 0.13 Cd and area similarly small to the GT6, the Aptera is NOT the lowest CdA value you can go for a sports car with conventional seating, not even close. Nevermind the narrow frontal area possible with a tandem 2-seater should one be built from the ground up(I built a narrow ass one-seater that only needs 8 Wh/mile to cruise 30-35 mph, but it also only weighs 91 lbs).
20.8 kWh in a Seville would get a 40 mile range… You might be able to fit 100 kWh in it, and it’s going to gain over 1,000 lbs in the process. This is a car that will use 500 Wh/mile in comparison, when we could have svelte, small two-seaters or 5-seater sedans of similar width only needing 100 Wh/mi, and microcars getting single-digit Wh/mile. 500 Wh/mile is kind of yuck in that context.
My Grandpa had a Seville with the diesel. What a piece it was…CP.
Those 80s GM diesels were universally terrible, even the rare ones that were build properly so that they wouldn’t grenade.
I’m a simple man. I see a Dodge, I vote for it.
Only reason I would look at that Cadillac is to see what the underhood area looks like. Extra storage? Big open void? Is this the first….Mrunk? Mid Trunk?
Dodge Mirada all the way today.
Torch or David will complain that there’s not a frunk under the hood. “Look at all this wasted space!”
Exactly this.
I want it to have a mrunk, preferably with a separate hood!