Home » Mansory Boldly Breaks Free Of The Shackles Of Taste With Their Take On The Cybertruck

Mansory Boldly Breaks Free Of The Shackles Of Taste With Their Take On The Cybertruck

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Nobody who knows anything about cars reads the name “Mansory” and thinks “Oh, good, I’m about to be presented with something subtle and tasteful.” That just doesn’t happen. People who know anything about cars read the name “Mansory” and immediately unfurl a dropcloth and vomit bucket they keep in arms’ reach for just such an occasion.

This is such an occasion, though I may suggest getting the big bucket and extra-absorbent dropcloths for when you encounter what Mansory eye-rollingly calls, with both some sycophancy and double-entendre, “Elongation.” This is their, um, interpretation of the Tesla Cybertruck.

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Now, at this point I feel like I need to state some of the founding principles of our site here, because I think I’m in danger of breaking, or at least bending some of them. We are pro-car, vehemently so. We believe that whatever gets you excited about a car is a good thing, as we refuse to kink-shame, automotively speaking. We’re not here to yuck any yums, or make anyone feel bad about the cars they like. But I’m not sure I’ll be able to fully hold to those lofty ideals in this case.

I mean, someone may actually like this thing; it’s possible, at least technically. My own colleagues were trying to convince me that in 20 years, this thing will be, at the very least, interesting. Or that it’s really one of the least awful things that Mansory has done, since the Cybertruck starting point is, let’s be diplomatic here, what it is. I’m not so sure I’m convinced.

I mean, look at this thing:

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Mansory Elongation07 Large

Sure, the Cybertruck is a deeply polarizing design – we’ve even written about how it’s so polarizing that it’s effectively impossible to write a rational review of it –  but whatever you think of its low-polygon, angular, slab-sided design, at least it has a sort of simple, brutalistic purity about it. It wasn’t full of fussy, useless frippery or fake intakes or other silliness. Mansory, however, showed that they can change all that.

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Look at what the Mansory people have done to the Cybertruck. They ordered slabs or logs or hogsheads of carbon fiber – whatever the largest units one can buy – and they’ve slathered it all over the Cybertruck. They’ve covered the hood and front fascia, added full carbon bumpers front and rear, and applied a big, illuminated MANSORY carbon panel on the tailgate, so the coroner knows what to put on the report for the death of your innocence. There’s also an unusual split wing (because, duh, you still want to use this as a truck and shovel in 1200 pounds of peat moss back there) that maybe counts as two small wings?

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And then there’s the big light bar on the apex of the truck’s roof, the gaudy Batmobile-reject fender flares, the stupid mirror caps, and, perhaps worst of all, the goofy fake-intake stick-on thing made of more carbon fiber stuck onto the “sail” panels flanking the bed area.

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Here’s how Mansory describes it in their press release:

“Various add-on parts are available to customize the exterior. Front and rear bumpers and extravagant fender flares including the two rear wings bear the classic signature of the MANSORY designers and make the “MANSORY Elongation” unmistakable. Full carbon components are also available for the front area and for the tailgate. Additional headlights on the roof complement the conversion options in the exterior area. As is usual with MANSORY, the full carbon body conversion parts can be ordered in several designs and also colored in a desired color.”

I like that you can pick the color of your carbon-fiber Cybertruck stick-ons; that’s like how you can choose to have dijon mustard instead of yellow on your shitburger, which my discriminating palate appreciates.

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On the plus side, it’s absolutely hideous, so I have to give Mansory credit for that. I have to respect a company who is so rigorous and committed to the eradication of even the tiniest vestige of taste that they seemingly undertook this venture specifically to hunt down any such vestiges and murder them, slowly, painfully, and with genuine sadistic glee. Mission accomplished, fellas.

Interestingly, the interior isn’t so bad!

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The basic Cybertruck interior is sort of a grayscale, cold, hard-edged environment, having all the warmth of the concrete benches one might find in the exercise yard of some sort of para-governmental holding facility. The Mansory Elongation-treatment replaces a lot of the industrial/concrete gray of the interior with that white leather with the vertical line patterns and the bright acid-yellow piping and detailing, and I think it helps an awful lot.

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It livens up the interior and makes it all a lot more human-friendly, which is sort of cruel on Mansory’s part, because the people inside can experience that while the poor bastards stuck outside of the car are still confronted with views like this:

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I’m sure that all-carbon fiber bumper is inexpensive to repair when you back into a hydrant or whatever, too, so that’ll be a nice, sensible upgrade.

Of course, this is Mansory, so none of this mess is cheap, by any stretch. They don’t specify how much putting this package onto your $80,000+ Cybertruck will cost, but whatever it costs to remove them I suspect will be worth it.

I’m not exactly sure who will be buying these? Wealthy people who want a Cybertruck but hate the subtlety? Rich kids who have a vendetta against the concept of vision itself? People tired of parking their Cybertruck and having to individually tell everyone they see that they have so much money they can piss it away on the most absurd and idiotic of things? Maybe all of these?

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I know I’m being harsh, and I need to re-iterate that we are pro-car here! If you buy one of these and just love it, then fantastic, I’m happy for you!

On paper, at least.

 

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Nicklab
Nicklab
30 days ago

Is it just me or do the front wheels look larger than the rear?

RustyJunkyardClassicFanatic
RustyJunkyardClassicFanatic
30 days ago

I just threw up…

Dan Parker
Dan Parker
30 days ago

The interior seems like an actual improvement to me. It’s giving cheeseball y2k concept car. Which is bad, but quite a bit better than original dumpster spec. Exterior is a set of APC Altezza taillights away from having an entire pep boys accessory section sticky tapped to it…

Myk El
Myk El
30 days ago

As if the Cybertruck wasn’t already identifying owners as having more money than sense.

Radiant13
Radiant13
30 days ago

If Jason is this spicy with his review of the Mansory treatment, I would love to see this run through the Adrian filter on the one Commodore.

667
667
30 days ago
Reply to  Radiant13

I miss Adrian

Sean H
Sean H
30 days ago

Mansory has totally lost the plot. I bet there’s not a single square inch of whale penis in that interior!

Ben
Ben
30 days ago

At first I thought it wasn’t making things any worse. It’s an ugly vehicle with ugly mods.

Then I saw the rear end shot. Woof.

LMCorvairFan
LMCorvairFan
30 days ago

Can I choose a Jaguar type 00 instead. It’s far nicer than this whatever it’s trying to be.

Marcus Rhatigan
Marcus Rhatigan
29 days ago
Reply to  LMCorvairFan

ChatGPT: Mansory the Jaguar 00.

PlatinumZJ
PlatinumZJ
30 days ago

Interestingly, the interior isn’t so bad!”

proceeds to assault reader eyeballs with dotted gray stripes and lemongrass trim

Harmon20
Harmon20
30 days ago

Yeah, that’s a bunch of trash, I can’t believe anyone wou…OMG, LOOK AT THE ASS ON THAT THING!!! SOOOO HAWT!!!

T-wrecks
T-wrecks
30 days ago
Reply to  Harmon20

It looks like it has a full diaper.

Guido Sarducci
Guido Sarducci
30 days ago
Reply to  T-wrecks

“Full diaper”. And we know what that diaper is full of.

Ecsta C3PO
Ecsta C3PO
30 days ago

The big illuminated script on the back must have worked, because after 2 decades of seeing them show up in my car magazines and website, I just realized TODAY that the name is not MASONRY.

Brrrrrrrrrr
Brrrrrrrrrr
30 days ago
Reply to  Ecsta C3PO

Had the exact same realization about 2/3 through the article. Great branding!

Jeff Marquardt
Jeff Marquardt
30 days ago
Reply to  Ecsta C3PO

Wow… I don’t know if I should thank you or not for helping me realize the actual spelling and what I had always read in my head were not the same…. And I am a teacher who specializes in teaching phonics and decoding strategies to early readers… shame on myself for not practicing what I teach!

Lotsofchops
Lotsofchops
30 days ago

“Forged” carbon fiber is the OSB of the car world. Looks terrible.

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