Mansory Boldly Breaks Free Of The Shackles Of Taste With Their Take On The Cybertruck

Nobody who knows anything about cars reads the name “Mansory” and thinks “Oh, good, I’m about to be presented with something subtle and tasteful.” That just doesn’t happen. People who know anything about cars read the name “Mansory” and immediately unfurl a dropcloth and vomit bucket they keep in arms’ reach for just such an occasion.

This is such an occasion, though I may suggest getting the big bucket and extra-absorbent dropcloths for when you encounter what Mansory eye-rollingly calls, with both some sycophancy and double-entendre, “Elongation.” This is their, um, interpretation of the Tesla Cybertruck.

Now, at this point I feel like I need to state some of the founding principles of our site here, because I think I’m in danger of breaking, or at least bending some of them. We are pro-car, vehemently so. We believe that whatever gets you excited about a car is a good thing, as we refuse to kink-shame, automotively speaking. We’re not here to yuck any yums, or make anyone feel bad about the cars they like. But I’m not sure I’ll be able to fully hold to those lofty ideals in this case.

I mean, someone may actually like this thing; it’s possible, at least technically. My own colleagues were trying to convince me that in 20 years, this thing will be, at the very least, interesting. Or that it’s really one of the least awful things that Mansory has done, since the Cybertruck starting point is, let’s be diplomatic here, what it is. I’m not so sure I’m convinced.

I mean, look at this thing:

Sure, the Cybertruck is a deeply polarizing design – we’ve even written about how it’s so polarizing that it’s effectively impossible to write a rational review of it –  but whatever you think of its low-polygon, angular, slab-sided design, at least it has a sort of simple, brutalistic purity about it. It wasn’t full of fussy, useless frippery or fake intakes or other silliness. Mansory, however, showed that they can change all that.

Look at what the Mansory people have done to the Cybertruck. They ordered slabs or logs or hogsheads of carbon fiber – whatever the largest units one can buy – and they’ve slathered it all over the Cybertruck. They’ve covered the hood and front fascia, added full carbon bumpers front and rear, and applied a big, illuminated MANSORY carbon panel on the tailgate, so the coroner knows what to put on the report for the death of your innocence. There’s also an unusual split wing (because, duh, you still want to use this as a truck and shovel in 1200 pounds of peat moss back there) that maybe counts as two small wings?

And then there’s the big light bar on the apex of the truck’s roof, the gaudy Batmobile-reject fender flares, the stupid mirror caps, and, perhaps worst of all, the goofy fake-intake stick-on thing made of more carbon fiber stuck onto the “sail” panels flanking the bed area.

Here’s how Mansory describes it in their press release:

“Various add-on parts are available to customize the exterior. Front and rear bumpers and extravagant fender flares including the two rear wings bear the classic signature of the MANSORY designers and make the “MANSORY Elongation” unmistakable. Full carbon components are also available for the front area and for the tailgate. Additional headlights on the roof complement the conversion options in the exterior area. As is usual with MANSORY, the full carbon body conversion parts can be ordered in several designs and also colored in a desired color.”

I like that you can pick the color of your carbon-fiber Cybertruck stick-ons; that’s like how you can choose to have dijon mustard instead of yellow on your shitburger, which my discriminating palate appreciates.

On the plus side, it’s absolutely hideous, so I have to give Mansory credit for that. I have to respect a company who is so rigorous and committed to the eradication of even the tiniest vestige of taste that they seemingly undertook this venture specifically to hunt down any such vestiges and murder them, slowly, painfully, and with genuine sadistic glee. Mission accomplished, fellas.

Interestingly, the interior isn’t so bad!

The basic Cybertruck interior is sort of a grayscale, cold, hard-edged environment, having all the warmth of the concrete benches one might find in the exercise yard of some sort of para-governmental holding facility. The Mansory Elongation-treatment replaces a lot of the industrial/concrete gray of the interior with that white leather with the vertical line patterns and the bright acid-yellow piping and detailing, and I think it helps an awful lot.

It livens up the interior and makes it all a lot more human-friendly, which is sort of cruel on Mansory’s part, because the people inside can experience that while the poor bastards stuck outside of the car are still confronted with views like this:

I’m sure that all-carbon fiber bumper is inexpensive to repair when you back into a hydrant or whatever, too, so that’ll be a nice, sensible upgrade.

Of course, this is Mansory, so none of this mess is cheap, by any stretch. They don’t specify how much putting this package onto your $80,000+ Cybertruck will cost, but whatever it costs to remove them I suspect will be worth it.

I’m not exactly sure who will be buying these? Wealthy people who want a Cybertruck but hate the subtlety? Rich kids who have a vendetta against the concept of vision itself? People tired of parking their Cybertruck and having to individually tell everyone they see that they have so much money they can piss it away on the most absurd and idiotic of things? Maybe all of these?

I know I’m being harsh, and I need to re-iterate that we are pro-car here! If you buy one of these and just love it, then fantastic, I’m happy for you!

On paper, at least.

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