Like any human being, or at least near-human primate, I am replete with flaws and preconceptions and assumptions and unfair biases. I’m full of half-baked ideas and opinions, especially about cars and car-adjacent things. One opinion or bias or prejudice or whatever that I’ve realized I hold is something that, in hindsight, I’ve had for decades, ever since I was a kid.
It’s this: you know how some people put strips of chrome trim on the edges of their car doors? Well, those never look good. They look awful.
I know there may be some readers who have cars with such chrome trim, and I don’t mean to offend, but I can’t stay silent on this any longer. When I was a kid, my family had a 1980 Honda Accord sedan, and my mom, my very own mother, had the dealer install chrome trim on the door edges, and even as a child I knew something was wrong, something had been debased. Of course, back then, as a child, I didn’t have the words to express what I felt. But now, as a vastly older child, I do.
This sort of trim isn’t something that’s some relic of the past, it’s still very much alive today, and as you can see above, people are spending hundreds of dollars to make their cars look vastly worse.
So, why do I harbor such animosity for chrome door trim? Because it looks good on precisely zero cars, give or take no cars. It breaks up the overall form of the car, and no car seems to work better when the door shut lines are emphasized and delineated with shiny trim. Sure, there are some cars that pay special attention to the shape of the door shutlines, and I certainly respect it when designers pay attention to such details, but this crap simply does not work:
Car design since the 1930s has been about overall form; the era of cars being made of discrete, independent visual elements ended in the ’20s, and the only reason it ever was A Thing was because manufacturing ability needed to catch up. The bright piping on the door edges reminds me of one thing, and I don’t think it’s particularly flattering:
Yes, Captain Kangaroo‘s coat. The white piping, outlining the lapels and pockets. That’s what it looks like. And if you’re not a decrepit, old bastard like myself you may not be familiar with Captain Kangaroo, but that doesn’t really matter. Look at that dude. Is that the look you want for your car? Really?
I am, as always, interested in your opinion, since this is the world’s most influential automotive community. So, let’s do a poll about this, to see how The People really feel about terrible car door trim that manages to ruin the look of pretty much any car, ever:
This Is The Car Accessory That Needs To Be Developed Right Now Because I’m So Sick Of Pine Needles
How Spanish Carmaker SEAT Once Brilliantly Integrated Door-Handles Into Side Windows
Chevy Should Be Embarrassed That Their Taillight Design Is So Bad It Needs Explanatory Stickers
As an old, I remember “fake convertible tops”. I just assumed that anybody driving one of those was harboring deep, dark secrets…
I know we live in the chrome delete era, but I like it, in the right places and correct amount.
That is not the case here and should be a federal crime.
Better, any chrome addition that is not factory standard or option should be banned. Not only chrome trim on door egdes, but also door handles, rearview mirrors, fake vents, etc.
I hate the color matching version too. These are just awful no matter what
Is it possible Jason’s Mom put those on the car to protest the door edge from chipping? Are these the automotive equivalent of doilies (my pet peeve?)
Bought my house from an elderly relative and every horizontal surface was adorned with doilies
Come on! These go well with my chrome wheel well trim, horseshoe on the grill, bull horn on the hood and fox tail on the antennas (plural, yes).
It’s awful. Always has been. There is an early LH 300 rolling around my neighborhood with every panel edge wrapped on this stuff. If I can I’ll grab a pick. Looks ridiculous.
Have I got cars for you then! I’m sad I don’t have pictures, but the description will be enough.
Imagine two cars: One is a C4 Corvette. The other is a 90’s Caprice.
Both are painted baby blue.
Both have small white decals all over the side and rear glass making up strange, unaligned patterns.
Both have chrome trim on EVERY horizontal and vertical body panel imaginable.
They are a sight to behold. The guy that owns the two of them LOVES them too (though I haven’t seen them in a little while…hope he’s ok).
That’s not prejudice, that’s common sense.
On the count of three…..
Good Morning Captain
AND -something else that needs to go: exhaust outlets that are anything but round. We’ve now got square, trapezoid, and all sorts of weird shapes. Exhaust outlets now are looking like vacuum cleaner attachments. Or HDMI ports, on the current Chevy Silverados. These have to go.
Only allowed exception: Volvo wagon, are allowed rectangular outlets. The whole car is a rectangle.
Plus one for having Mr. Green Jeans in the picture with the Captain.
A couple of years ago I saw someone who had done this to a then fairly new Kia K5 (they only came out in what, 2020?). Not just the door edges but also the pillars and mirror caps. Pretty sure there were terrible aftermarket wheels and a fake vent, but my brain may have just assumed those were there.
I threw up in my mouth a little. I hadn’t seen someone ruin a new car this badly since I saw an idiot in Florida who “donked” (lifted and put on at least 30″ wheels) a then brand new second gen CTS in around 2009.
I try and keep it positive here, but since Jason started it can we address the growing trend of Jeepers putting names on the sides of their rigs? It started with factory decals like “Sahara” and whatnot which is fine as it denotes the trim, but people are now putting stupid names on them like “Black Pearl” or “unsupervised” etc. to go with their “mean” Jeep grills. They aren’t f*ing boats, people!
Compliment the folks with the angry eye jeeps. Say “oh your Jeep has lashes! That’s so cute”.
They love that.
SERENITY NOW!!!
Thank you. Now I want to get myself a 74 Ford Grand Torino with the landau roof and 8foot long doors so I can trim it out like a yacht, right down to a slightly less than clever name on the more than amble trunk lid.
I wonder how chrome boat cleats would look on top of the quarter panels?
Fake portholes go hand-in-hand with this crap.
Oh do I have a story to back this up. There used to be a yellowish-gold PT Cruiser that lived near me that had fake portholes on each side of the hood, bottom of the fenders, along the top of the hood, and on the rear fenders (I think to pretend to be fake exhausts). It also had chrome door edging along EVERY edge. The entire hood. The entire perimeter of each door, including the hatch. The fuel door. Even the silly looking hat brim-style visor the owner added above the windshield and the license plates had it. I really don’t miss seeing that ugly car every day.
There was a yellow 1st gen Chevy Aveo I would see that had fake ventiports on the front fenders as well as a 4×4 badge. I don’t know if its owner thought this looked cool, or if they were making a joke.
It’s awful and terrible
Things I hate on cars:
-grilles larger than they need to be for adequate cooling of parts(don’t designers know what a NACA duct is?)
-fake grilles/vents/scoops/openings(these shouldn’t exist. Ever.)
-decorative plastic cladding(see above)
-oversized wheels(13″ and 14″ whels are perfectly fine for most vehicles)
-low-profile tires(give me thick, meaty sidewalls, so that a pothole doesn’t require me to replace a $1,000+ set of tires)
-rectangular headlights on sports cars and coupes(I like my go-fast machines sleek and sexy. It’s not a truck or an SUV and it shouldn’t try to look like one)
-aggressive front-end designs on sports cars, sedans, and coupes when it comes at the expense of performance and/or fuel economy and/or one’s wallet(Performance > looks)
-floating c-pillars
-fake glass(just… why?)
-exterior trim pieces that serve no function
-unnecessary creases and folds that are purely decorative
-spoilers/wings on cars where either no real downforce is generated or it is generated in a place that will be functionally useless(eg. FWD cars with massive spoilers on the rear only serve to add drag and more quickly eat fuel, and do nothing to make the car go faster)
-electronic door handles(I don’t want to get locked out of my car if the lectrical system goes dead)
-touch screens/infotainment systems in cars(the eyes of the driver should be focused on the road, not watching a movie)
-“sports cars” and “supercars” marketed as fast machines that carry 500+ lbs of unnecessary luxury crap to add cost/profit margin(seriously, if I want a go-fast machine, I don’t need heated/cooled massage seats, a stereo appropriate for a sound-off competition, an infotainment system, or all the other crap they come with)
-“sports cars” and “supercars” that weigh as much as pickup trucks and SUVs(entirely defeats the purpose. Get a luxury car or an SUV if you want a smooth, quiet ride)
This is both an insanely long, yet somehow entirely reasonable list.
I’ve actually got this stuff on all four doors of my ’82 XJ6! Looks sweet too. As in what a sweet-tooth looks like after cavities have had their rotten way with it. And much like taffy sticks to enamel, these dumb things are to remain stuck to my car a while longer.
Apparently, the car was repainted and then they went and installed those delicious door-hugging chrome spaghetti strips soon after. The glue must’ve dissolved deeply into the paint because when I went to peel them off it started stripping the car’s white enamel right down to the metal in a hurry. So, I touched up what I could and grabbed some weather-stripping glue before proceeding to re-install the chromium “edge-guard”. The horror.
I’ve since kinda, sorta gotten used to it – it is after all, a Jaaaaaaaag.
sounds like a recurring nightmare
Yes, and the chrome pillar trim like that black car in the bottom right of the 4-photo group.
A prior owner to my second Accord had put plastichrome mirror covers and door handles on, and I pulled those off ASAP. And it was silver so it’s not like it was as visually jarring as an actual color would’ve been. Those I might not even mind factory (don’t prefer it, but it’s ‘designed in’ then), but as a cheap cover it looked swollen and the door handles had an edge that seemed like they could scratch or cut you if you grabbed the handle the wrong way.
It’s one thing for a dealer to slap this on as part of a “mandatory” package and charge hundreds of dollars for it, unless and until you complain and they magnanimously “give” it to you. They’re dealers, it’s what they do. But people actually take their cars off the lot into the normal world and seek this out, and pay hundreds for it? I’m losing faith in humanity.
Hmm, I always think of Patrick McGoohan’s jacket in The Prisoner
https://portmeirion.wales/oimgnn/about-images/history/Prisoner/600/17mte1m3haqjcjpg.jpg
Perhaps one of the only things that I dislike about this show, haha. Great call!
Pretty much the perfect show in my opinion.
Have you seen “Living in Harmony”?
A very different episode that was never shown in the US
Thanks for the tip! I was lucky enough to work on closed captioning for a release some twenty or so years ago, and thought I’d seen them all, but I’m watching Living in Harmony now (thanks, Internet), and I don’t recall it at all!
Be seeing you!
I think I’m going to call our next farm vehicle Mr. Green Jeans.
it could hang out with Dancing Bear and Bunny Rabbit, if it wanted, and watch Tom Terrific reruns
There’s a bunch of Jeepney out back that would like a word…
The Captain’s blazer reminded me of the fashion in men’s blazers a few years back with the exposed stitching on the lapels. That looked so half assed. I’d always ask myself “I wonder if this is the first one that tailor ever made.”
Oh god, It’s not just me that hates that style blazer! I always thought it looked cheap and unfinished.
The other practice of leaving the “designer” label somewhere near the cuff on the outside of one sleeve is also repulsive.
You made my car sad. I didn’t know there was hate in your heart. *sobs*
I believe the rebuttal would be “You made your car sad”. I’m not taking sides, don’t care enough.
It was like that when I got it. Still baller AF.
Yes – Chrome strips are awful.
But I don’t completely hate the clear ones.
I read the headline and came here to vociferously agree. They look worse than dents.
I’ve never been a fan of chrome anything. I already don’t like whatever people call the chrome on the full-size trucks (looking at you, RAM) as it doesn’t fit whatsoever.
Chrome Door Edges are just as bad imo.