You all are going to hate me today. I’ve given you some nasty, impossible choices in the past, but today… well, let’s just say I’m curious to see what happens. We’re in Atlanta, Georgia, looking at a couple of cars that are nice and clean – but have been sitting for a while, and need waking up.
I was really pulling for that Galaxie convertible yesterday, but I know that anything going up against a clean Saab is a hard sell. And indeed, the big Ford went down in flames by more than a two-to-one margin. I keep forgetting that a lot of our readers aren’t the adventurous type when it comes to projects like a lot of our writers are.
For me, if I’m going to get a Saab, it’s going to be a manual, and it’s going to be pre-GM. But I’ve always wanted a big old American convertible, ever since a failed attempt with a ’71 Buick Electra which I didn’t even own long enough to transfer the title. This Galaxie would fill the role nicely, though I’d try to talk the seller down as far as possible. That’s a lot of money for that car, unless it’s priced by the pound.
I get the feeling that both of today’s vehicles came from estate sales and outlived their previous owners. One of them is just a nice old low-mileage van, and a clean example of the first of its kind. The other? Well, it’s simply one of a kind. I hope. Let’s check them out.
1986 Dodge Caravan – $2,500
Engine/drivetrain: 2.6-liter overhead cam inline 4, three-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Tucker, GA (no relation)
Odometer reading: 66,000 miles
Operational status: Unknown; battery is dead and seller hasn’t tried to jump-start it
I don’t think anybody knows they’re creating a legend while it’s happening. Surely Ridley Scott didn’t expect a movie about an astronaut and her cat to spawn seven thousand sequels and earn a permanent spot in pop culture. At no point, to the best of my knowledge, during the recording of “Stairway To Heaven” did John Bonham turn to Jimmy Page and say, “This is going to get so overplayed on classic rock stations.” And I’m sure Lee Iacocca had no idea that the term “minivan” would enter the public lexicon and be forever associated, by both adherents and detractors, with his name.
Compared to modern minivans, this first-generation Caravan looks absolutely primitive. But the broad strokes of what would become the minivan formula are all there: a front-mounted engine, front-wheel-drive for a nice flat floor, and seating for seven. The engine in this van is a Mitsubishi-built inline four, sadly saddled with an absolute nightmare of an electronic feedback carburetor. Some of them run like a top, and others stall, stumble, and shake like a leaf. We have no way of knowing which this is, because the seller hasn’t tried to start it since they bought it. I don’t know who buys a car with a dead battery and just says “oh well; guess I’ll just sell it on as-is,” but here we are.
Chrysler upholstery from this era wasn’t known to be particularly long-wearing, and it looks like this van is no exception. Most of it looks all right, but the middle seat is worn out along one edge, probably from passengers sliding in and out. The front bucket seats have covers on them; I’m hoping they’ve been on there a long time, and spared the seats from such wear.
It’s nice and clean outside, except for a few blemishes in the clear coat, and it’s rust-free as far as I can tell. Its hood ornament and fake wire wheel covers are intact, and personally I’m happy to see it does not have the optional fake woodgrain on the sides.
1989 Chevrolet Corvette – $2,875
Engine/drivetrain: 5.7-liter overhead valve V8, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Largo, FL
Odometer reading: 92,000 miles
Operational status: Ran a few months ago, has been sitting
I just now noticed that this car is not actually in Georgia; it’s for sale in Florida, at one of those dealerships that spams every Craigslist within a thousand miles with the same ads. But I’m going to use it anyway, because you have got to see this thing. This is a C4 Corvette that has been customized to suit its previous owner’s tastes. Who was this mystery owner? We’ll never know, but this Corvette might even be too crazy for Mark Hamill.
Like all C4s, it’s powered by a 350 cubic inch V8, in this case a 245 horsepower L98, backed by a Turbo-Hydramatic 700 R4 automatic. It has been sitting for a few months, but apparently it ran and drove fine before that. Looking at this engine bay, I can’t help but suspect a dead battery on this one as well. Just in case you aren’t familiar with what an L98 C4’s engine bay should look like, fully eighty percent of that wiring is non-standard. What does it all power? Just you wait and see.
It has to be some sort of elaborate joke that we don’t get, right? All those aftermarket gauges, screens, switches, and wire looms can’t possibly be functional. What on Earth could they all possibly do? And where is the original digital dash? Is it still there under all that bric-a-brac, flashing its LEDs at the backside of all those gauges? And do take a look at the other photos in the ad; this is only the beginning. There’s crap on the ceiling as well, and one of those fake flux capacitors between the seats.
It’s no less gaudy on the outside, with stuff stuck all over every surface, and holes cut in the hood for not only the short-ram air intake, but also a couple of mystery grilles. Oh, and once you get it running, don’t plan on driving in the rain; some of the gauges are zip-tied and clamped to the windshield wiper arms, rendering them non-functional.
My hope would be that either one of these cars, if connected to a jump-start pack, would spring to life and idle as well as can be expected on old gas. But there’s only one way to find out. So which one are you going to try to revive: the plain but honest van, or that bizarre Corvette?
(Image credits: sellers)
As much as I like the van… it’s not gonna beat a corvette, especially one that you really aren’t going to give a shit about. Sounds like a great winter beater to me
You could almost recoup the cost of the corvette in scrap copper! I’ll stick with the van.
I’m not even getting within 10 miles of that corvette. Jesus christ.
Everything about that Corvette says “run away!”
Uh-uh: “Run away screaming.”
I’ve seen some WTF cars, in person and on these sites. But this Corvette is beyond all I’ve seen. There is (what appears) air fittings on the ceiling of the car. The ceiling. For what?
I counted no fewer than 3 water temp gauges, there are gauges on the passenger A pillar. This car has a higher likelihood of catching fire than running again. I’m sure there are so many parasitic voltage leaks it has to be on a 6A charger at all times. There are wire nuts in the open, never a good idea on a car. Cigarette lighter adaptors everywhere. Is it cheap? Sure, but considering the time needed to put it right, find all the induced gremlins, return the glorious C4 flip over headlights, and repair the body, you’re at a significant loss.
Sure this bonehead took photos at night, but this is a better bet all day long:
https://knoxville.craigslist.org/cto/d/seymour-88-corvette-90k-miles/7811888072.html
I’m always going to go C4 Vette. Erry time.
Today is one of those days where we need the “neither” options. I wanted to go Corvette, but that looks like a nightmare.
Thanks for picking vehicles close to me! Sometimes you post stuff I would be on the phone asking about, except they’re on the other coast…
Except, these two…
The Caravan scares me. With the windshield markings and stickers on the windshields of the cars in the picture, I’m guessing it’s at a dealer auction. I’d bet it’s Manheim. It was probably sold as an “inop”, probably for $125 plus fees, after which jokes were told and laughs were had.
But, between the auction and the seller (and probably a dealer, since dealer auctions don’t sell to normies like us) did nobody not bother to drop a battery in it and try to fire it up? I’m afraid the engine’s probably locked up or this thing has major issues.
That said, I pick the van, although either I need to hear it run or they’re gonna have to come waaaaaaay of that price. (I’d probably fix it anyway, if I had the time right now.)
Why the van? I saw the Corvette. No. Just, no.
(Full disclosure: I used to be a licensed dealer in GA, and dealt with Manheim. Bought some cheap cars, had some laughs.)
The van is going to be what the van is going to be, but it is Radwood levels of clean.
On the other hand, the Corvette is about as cheap as you’ll find a mid-year C4. It would require hour upon hour of rehab, but assuming the bones are okay and this stuff can just be removed, you have an okay Corvette and score some sweet copper to offset the purchase price (or swap in a manual).
I’m going to lean van just because.
The Corvette owner just wanted to get rid of the constant GM dash squeaking while cruising on smooth roads and took the obvious logical steps to accomplish that.
I’m not sure what he was thinking while working on the rest of the car.
That said, there’s more than enough value left in the Corvette if you have the garage space for it. There are plenty of wrecked Corvettes in boneyards and used parts on eBay auctions. It’s not going to be an easy fix, but it’ll definitely be interesting and the starting price is cheap, so that’s my choice.
I’m usually anti-van, but there’s just too much happening with that poor corvette.
Normally, I’m an “anything but a minivan” guy. Hard to pick a car that has more stickers on it than four school districts worth of 3rd graders’ Trapper Keepers over anything, but I’ll still go for the wildly messed up Corvette over the potentially non-functional van. Strip out all of the crap that’s non-essential and you’d have an, um, “eye-catching” ride.
I was leaning to the Corvette until I saw how horribly it was molested.
So Caravan for me… even though I think it’s overpriced even at $2500. And the Caravan can be turned into a sleeper with a manual swap and with some variant of the Chrysler K-based 4 cyl turbo engines.
I’ve voted logically the past few days, and the Caravan is the better deal here. The Corvette is… interesting, but at half that price, I’m still not curious enough. A manual would help, because if you strip it down, you’d have a Vette to thrash, but this does feel more like a show car.
Nope.
had an ’88 grand voyager with same color interior – reflections off dash was dangerous until i put a matte black felt toupe’ on it.
i’ll take the van over the steampunk vette.
Once the Area 51 raid was called off, Florida Man must recuperate his investment in order to fund the next hot conspiracy theory via spaghetti wiring.
Pre-V6 Caravans were rough. A 2.2 that had trouble dragging around a Shadow, a 2.6 that had trouble being an engine, or a 2.2 turbo that you could actually live with but nobody bought.
Ack, I need an edit button. It was the 2.5 turbo!
Maybe if you get the Vette running and get it up to 88 mph ?????
Then we could send it back in time 10,000 years and not have to look at it.
There is easily $2,875 worth of wire in the Corvette!
So you get the rest of the car free 🙂
Oh… Um… Yeah… That Vette is… Is that a second alternator bolted to the top of the first? Doesn’t matter, I would walk 500 miles just to fall down at your door before driving that thing.
Caravan if only because it would be easier to sell once you had to stop the life force from seeping out of you. Imagine having to answer questions about that Vette.