You all are going to hate me today. I’ve given you some nasty, impossible choices in the past, but today… well, let’s just say I’m curious to see what happens. We’re in Atlanta, Georgia, looking at a couple of cars that are nice and clean – but have been sitting for a while, and need waking up.
I was really pulling for that Galaxie convertible yesterday, but I know that anything going up against a clean Saab is a hard sell. And indeed, the big Ford went down in flames by more than a two-to-one margin. I keep forgetting that a lot of our readers aren’t the adventurous type when it comes to projects like a lot of our writers are.
For me, if I’m going to get a Saab, it’s going to be a manual, and it’s going to be pre-GM. But I’ve always wanted a big old American convertible, ever since a failed attempt with a ’71 Buick Electra which I didn’t even own long enough to transfer the title. This Galaxie would fill the role nicely, though I’d try to talk the seller down as far as possible. That’s a lot of money for that car, unless it’s priced by the pound.
I get the feeling that both of today’s vehicles came from estate sales and outlived their previous owners. One of them is just a nice old low-mileage van, and a clean example of the first of its kind. The other? Well, it’s simply one of a kind. I hope. Let’s check them out.
1986 Dodge Caravan – $2,500
Engine/drivetrain: 2.6-liter overhead cam inline 4, three-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Tucker, GA (no relation)
Odometer reading: 66,000 miles
Operational status: Unknown; battery is dead and seller hasn’t tried to jump-start it
I don’t think anybody knows they’re creating a legend while it’s happening. Surely Ridley Scott didn’t expect a movie about an astronaut and her cat to spawn seven thousand sequels and earn a permanent spot in pop culture. At no point, to the best of my knowledge, during the recording of “Stairway To Heaven” did John Bonham turn to Jimmy Page and say, “This is going to get so overplayed on classic rock stations.” And I’m sure Lee Iacocca had no idea that the term “minivan” would enter the public lexicon and be forever associated, by both adherents and detractors, with his name.
Compared to modern minivans, this first-generation Caravan looks absolutely primitive. But the broad strokes of what would become the minivan formula are all there: a front-mounted engine, front-wheel-drive for a nice flat floor, and seating for seven. The engine in this van is a Mitsubishi-built inline four, sadly saddled with an absolute nightmare of an electronic feedback carburetor. Some of them run like a top, and others stall, stumble, and shake like a leaf. We have no way of knowing which this is, because the seller hasn’t tried to start it since they bought it. I don’t know who buys a car with a dead battery and just says “oh well; guess I’ll just sell it on as-is,” but here we are.
Chrysler upholstery from this era wasn’t known to be particularly long-wearing, and it looks like this van is no exception. Most of it looks all right, but the middle seat is worn out along one edge, probably from passengers sliding in and out. The front bucket seats have covers on them; I’m hoping they’ve been on there a long time, and spared the seats from such wear.
It’s nice and clean outside, except for a few blemishes in the clear coat, and it’s rust-free as far as I can tell. Its hood ornament and fake wire wheel covers are intact, and personally I’m happy to see it does not have the optional fake woodgrain on the sides.
1989 Chevrolet Corvette – $2,875
Engine/drivetrain: 5.7-liter overhead valve V8, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Largo, FL
Odometer reading: 92,000 miles
Operational status: Ran a few months ago, has been sitting
I just now noticed that this car is not actually in Georgia; it’s for sale in Florida, at one of those dealerships that spams every Craigslist within a thousand miles with the same ads. But I’m going to use it anyway, because you have got to see this thing. This is a C4 Corvette that has been customized to suit its previous owner’s tastes. Who was this mystery owner? We’ll never know, but this Corvette might even be too crazy for Mark Hamill.
Like all C4s, it’s powered by a 350 cubic inch V8, in this case a 245 horsepower L98, backed by a Turbo-Hydramatic 700 R4 automatic. It has been sitting for a few months, but apparently it ran and drove fine before that. Looking at this engine bay, I can’t help but suspect a dead battery on this one as well. Just in case you aren’t familiar with what an L98 C4’s engine bay should look like, fully eighty percent of that wiring is non-standard. What does it all power? Just you wait and see.
It has to be some sort of elaborate joke that we don’t get, right? All those aftermarket gauges, screens, switches, and wire looms can’t possibly be functional. What on Earth could they all possibly do? And where is the original digital dash? Is it still there under all that bric-a-brac, flashing its LEDs at the backside of all those gauges? And do take a look at the other photos in the ad; this is only the beginning. There’s crap on the ceiling as well, and one of those fake flux capacitors between the seats.
It’s no less gaudy on the outside, with stuff stuck all over every surface, and holes cut in the hood for not only the short-ram air intake, but also a couple of mystery grilles. Oh, and once you get it running, don’t plan on driving in the rain; some of the gauges are zip-tied and clamped to the windshield wiper arms, rendering them non-functional.
My hope would be that either one of these cars, if connected to a jump-start pack, would spring to life and idle as well as can be expected on old gas. But there’s only one way to find out. So which one are you going to try to revive: the plain but honest van, or that bizarre Corvette?
(Image credits: sellers)
Back in the late 80s my grandparents test drove a Caravan and almost bought one because they sat a little higher and it was easier to enter and exit. Then their health spiraled and they both passed shortly after. I guess my uncle would have ended it with it like he did their Oldsmobile Firenza. So in their memory I voted for it.
Normally a Corvette would always be my choice but the wiring, mismatched seats etc. Just a hard no.
Never know what today will bring. For me, it included choosing a primeval Caravan over a C4 corvette. I like the C4, never have been ashamed to admit it, but this one is so completely chached-up that it’s beyond hope.
About the time this car was sold new & normal. I was driving a Bronco that the previous owner had “enhanced” by putting electric connections in for a snow plow, trailer lighting, and a CB. The backside of the dash looked like radio shak nightmare of wiring looms to nothing, and it provided me with some serious issues at bad times (like the night virtually every interior and exterior light on the vehicle went dark on a back country road and I had to drive by the light of my flashers which were thankfully unaffected).
That was on a car from the stone ages with relatively simple connections. Vette’s are always ahead of the curve and push the limits of technology, so this one undoubtedly has one foot in the digital future while one is stubbornly stuck in the analog past. Undoing all those self inflicted wounds is not worth the effort.
Nope, I’d rather wheel in a powerless mom-wagon than face that nightmare.
Wow. I can’t imagine that I’d ever drive it (not a ‘Vette fan)… but I’d take it just for the amusement value of taking it apart and trying to figure it out.
This seems to be begging for a rusty patina to go with the character of the inside. Then it would fit right in with Road Warrior. Yes, I know that the body is fiberglass and won’t rust. Too bad.
I didn’t bother reading anything about either car because that wiring job gave me a migraine, an itchy skin rash, and also probably somehow tooth decay. So I’m going for the Caravan.
I can’t tell from the wiring, which one goes to the Flux Capacitor?
Cloth. Seats, carpeting, or roof. Will there be a special membership drive with Cloth being the focus?
*Not a paid actor
I… I guess the Vette since it should be fun even if I have to spend a month removing all of the crap? As for the Caravan I suspect the seller got it for scrap value and is trying to make a quick profit, so they probably don’t even want to know if it will run. Once they find out that it doesn’t run the price will go right back to scrap value. Take that unnecessary 2 off the front of the price and we’ll talk.
I am. I’m not afraid of doing my own clutch, rod bearings, wheel bearings, head gaskets, brakes, dash rebuilding, reupholstery or wiring harnesses. (OK, the latter scared me a bit). I picked the Saab. It wasn’t even close.
I’ve had enough trouble chasing down simple faults in the wiring of my old Beetle, and that’s about as basic as they come. That Corvette looks like the sort of “someone else’s project” that will never, ever run right again.
“Rats nest”, “spaghetti mess”, the wiring in that Corvette defies all derogatory descriptions. WTF?
I saw the headline photos and thought I’d vote C4 easily but it’s gonna be a no from me dawg. If I’m gambling on a non-running car I don’t want to have to sort through someone else’s rats nest of wiring to do so. Minivan for me today.
I wouldn’t touch that Corvette with your 10 foot long lighting hook.
And that Caravan reeks of minimum-wage desperation.
No thanks.
Apparently safety toggle switches are a lot cheaper than they used to be, there is still some decent money in copper, relays, switches, AN fittings and line, and an inverter. Vette all day! half of those gauges are coolant temp/ vacuum, and I think a lot of the electrical is just for show. I imagine this is more art car, than an actual build. Remove some of the stuff and put it on a shelf for a future project, or just drive it as is.
This is one where you need to buy both…you’ll need the van for taking trips to the dump.
I’m enamored with that C4. In a trainwreck kinda way. But for the price I think it’s a decent project.
Seriously I want the Autopian to buy it, the number of articles you could get from it would be insane. There are mechanical gauges hung from the roof, that’s a feat to run hydraulic hoses that far. I HAVE to know more.
I’m voted Vette. It would take some time to unceremoniously YANK all that crap out, but at least the end goal would to have something fun.
The van? You’re tinkering with an antique Chrysler carburetor & no-start condition. And then what? No joy can come from that four wheeled succubus.
God bless you all who voted for the C4. I might have done so as well, were I possessed with more patience. We’ll take the minivan, and bring a battery with us.
Caravan 10,000%. I wouldn’t buy that Vette even with David Tracy’s money.
Jackson Pollock would approve of that wiring situation under the Corvette’s hood.
Although he’d probably also approve of the Caravan’s interior under a black light…
Two-fer COTD, right there.
I’ll take the ‘Vette, and have a lot of fun trying to yank all of that whatever out of there. I’d try to get it back to… stock? At least as close as possible.
It’s been a while since I’ve audibly gasped upon reading Shitbox Showdown, but that happened once I scrolled down to the Corvette engine bay picture.
While I want to read the manifesto its previous owner has no doubt written, voting for the Corvette today would take more strength than I possess. Van please.
I’m sure a humid day would wreck the electrics on the ‘vette faster than vintage Lucas on a ’70’s assembled Leyland’s finest.
I voted Vette.
Solely because you can likely source replacement everything, and have a fun day. With an interior looks that looks like it was shot up in Mad Max from all the drilled holes for those gauges, and you sawzalled another hole for the clutch pedal, you could say to yourself that no matter what home-brewed solution you might have come up with to ‘fix’ the car would be better than what you started with.
And, besides, you could always donate it to a local highschool shop class to a tonne of kids too happy to know what they’re diving into.
Fortunately there aren’t too many humid days in Florida.
“And, besides, you could always donate it to a local highschool shop class to a tonne of kids too happy to know what they’re diving into.”
The teacher would probably tell you to fuck right off with that thing. I know I would.
Somehow these both appeal to me. I guess I’m on the right site! I trust that C4 comes with a wiring diagram.
I was wondering how documented those improvements are. What are the chances it’s a dead battery or somebody accidentally flipped one or more unlabeled switches which disables some unknown whoziwatzit and prevents the engine from firing.
I’m afraid to ask, but why are there hoses with shutoff valves on the vette’s ceiling? And is the multimeter on the console permanently mounted there or did it just get lost and forgotten among all that other… um… stuff.
My guess is the owner just thought it looked cool and glued/nailed it in.
Corvette 1000% everyday all day. I want the challenge of figuring all that shit out, and that price is absolutely perfect. #chefkiss