Attention, Autopians: This is not a drill. Repeat, this is not a drill. I have found a Bentley, an honest-to-Crewe Bentley, in our price range. That’s right: a hand-built luxury British saloon (don’t you dare call it a sedan) for shitbox money.
And also a Geo Storm, and I always thought those were really cool.
So let’s get yesterday’s convertibles out of the way first:
I honestly had no idea which way this one was going to go. But apparently someone out there agreed with you all, as the be-stickered, dog-friendly, Gambler-veteran Eclipse is already in a new driveway. As for the Mustang, the only thing I can say for certain is that nobody who wanted it intended to leave it stock.
But now, on to more pressing matters. Internet classifieds are like Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates: you never know what you’re gonna get. And that’s what makes this job continually fun, especially when I stumble across the ultimate in British yard art. So without further ado, I present to you…
1989 Bentley Eight – $2,150 (seriously!)
Engine/drivetrain: 6.75 litre V8, 3 speed automatic, RWD
Location: Olive Branch, TN
Odometer reading: 69,000 miles
Runs/drives? Sadly, no; has been sitting for five years
First, let’s define what we’re dealing with here, because the ad is rather short on details. This is a Bentley Eight, the “entry-level” Bentley (ugh, how common), not the Mulsanne or celebrated Turbo R. But it’s still hand-built, one of only around 1700 of its kind, built in the same factory in Crewe by the same blokes who built every Rolls-Royce and Bentley. It’s still special. The Eight uses a naturally-aspirated version of the Rolls-Royce 6.75 liter V8, and, believe it or not, the same GM Turbo-Hydramatic 400 transmission as your cousin Randy’s Chevelle.
The ad is lacking in photos as well as text, but seeing such a fine British motorcar in a yard in rural Tennessee is surreal enough in small doses. I do wish we got a look at the interior, however, as it’s the condition inside that will determine if it’s worth fixing up. The “oily bits” are much easier to deal with than the leather and wool.
The seller has it listed as a “parts car,” but Bentleys are not the sort of motorcars from which one pulls parts. Due to the commonality with Rolls-Royce models of the time, most everything you need to bring this splendid lady back to life should be available… at a price.
Now, let’s be honest: there is every chance that this car will never move under its own power again. There is also a chance that the only way to make it move is to replace that famous Rolls-Royce powerplant with an LS V8 or something. But there is also the chance that the seller (or whoever parked it) simply doesn’t speak British car, or Bosch fuel injection, and some simple ministrations under a more knowledgeable owner will have it humming in no time. There’s no way to know until you dig into it.
The trouble with finding a car like this for sale, for my purposes, is what do you pair it with? What’s worthy of comparison to a hand-built Bentley?
1991 Geo Storm GSi – $1,500
Engine/drivetrain: 1.6 liter DOHC inline 4, 3 speed automatic, FWD
Location: San Lorenzo, CA
Odometer reading: 88,000 miles
Runs/drives? Runs but not drivable; brakes are out
I will freely admit it: I love the Geo Storm. I had a chance to buy one, a GSi like this but with a manual, and passed it up in favor of a 4 door Ford Escort hatch. Not one of my prouder automotive moments.
The Storm, for those outside of the US, is also known as the Isuzu Piazza or Impulse, depending on where you are. The Impulse version was also sold here for a while, featuring a prominent “Handling by Lotus” badge. I don’t know for sure if Lotus did the suspension tuning on the Geo version, but I do know that these cars attacked freeway cloverleaf on-ramps like they were mad at them, and gobbled up twisty roads like Augustus Gloop in the chocolate factory.
The only trouble is that, when this particular Storm was ordered new, some idiot checked the “Automatic” box on the options form. I can cope with automatics in some small cars, but dammit, a Geo Storm deserves better. Step one for this car should be to find a wrecked Storm, Impulse, I-Mark, or Chevy/Geo Spectrum with a manual and get to swapping.
The rest of the car looks decent, if not pristine, and I suppose even if you had to drive it as an automatic for a while, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. These things are getting rare, and beggars can’t be choosers sometimes. At least it’s a nice low-mileage platform to start with. The seller does say that the brake master cylinder is shot, preventing the car from being driven at the moment, but a new master cylinder is included. You and a friend could have it stopping properly and roadworthy in a couple hours.
Well, there it is: Shitbox Showdown history. I doubt we’ll ever have a chance to feature another Bentley, but someday I will find a manual Storm for us to consider. In the meantime, do you choose the safe and easy path and fix up the Japanese sports coupe, or tackle a budget project of epic proportions and attempt to revive one of Britain’s finest motorcars?
Is this my only car? I went with Bentley because I have no use for a Geo. If I’m buying a shitbox, let me have one that I actually may want. Who cares if its broken. Its a Bentley
My question with the Geo is, if all it needs is a new brake master cylinder which the seller already has in his possession, why the hell didn’t he install it before selling the car? There’s more to that story, mark my words.
I’d go Bentley. Even as yard art, I’d rather have it over the Geo. I have no use for the Geo in my life.
At that price it might be worth getting the Bentley just so you can fix it up a bit and throw some tracks on the wheel hubs, just for giggles.
The kind of people who would let a Bentley or any other nice car turn to trash are not my kind of people.
I voted for the Bentley because………….LS crate engine swap, what else is there. If the rest of it is serviceable, a crate engine would be the duck’s nuts.
Hear me out on this: Go with the Bentley, knowing you will need to replace a lot. That’s OK because we’re making a Safari Bentley! Do what Clarkson did with a much lower budget!
Bentley + 6.0 liter LS swap + better brake system off of pretty much anything else + airbag suspension + newer Bentley OEM wheels + custom interior as cheap as possible + murder tints for good measure + freshen the exterior + tint all the light housings to hide the fade and imperfections
= sick baller cruiser for under $10k all told
I didn’t read a single word. It’s the Geo for me. My first car was a red 1993 Geo Storm that I paid $300 for. I learned how to wrench and repair cars on it. I beat the crap out of it and it just kept going. I bought it with 165k miles on it and then sold it to my Dad later who got it up to 329k before he fell asleep at the wheel and ran into a guard rail. Even then, it still ran and he drove it 200 miles home before she went to the yard. Now I’m going to go read. Still voting Geo.
Shame the Storm is an auto. That makes me like it less as mine was a manual. Still I’d go Geo over the Bentley as the Bentley is a bottomless money pit. The Geo could be made into dependable transportation for years on the low. Also it’ll get 30+ mpg.
Also Mark, the GSI got a 1.8L not the 1.6L (that may have been a 1992 change though). Also also the Impulse also had an RS flavor which was turbo’d.
I like a classic British saloon, but most of them are absolute money pits, especially if they have been sitting and have a flying B or lady on the front(For evidence of this, just look at Season 3 of Car Trek). The Geo is also a bit of a project, but it is guaranteed to be a far easier and cheaper project than an old Bentley and, with a manual swap, it will be a genuinely fun drive, which is something that can never be said for an 80’s Bentley or Rolls.
I would be all over this Bentley. Totally worth the money, though the interior is likely 100% trashed based on the dash pad you can see in one of the photos. An LS swap would not be easy, but doable. While that is a “GM” transmission, you would still need to use a different trans. The bell housings are completely different and trying to adapt it just wouldn’t be worth it. If you’re dropping in an LS, just drop in another automatic with it.
That GEO is neat but the automatic makes it a loser for me. The color is great though, it’s SO 90’s. I miss seeing these cars around, they were EVERYWHERE here in metro Detroit back in the day.
Jim
Bentley fo sho! I have a 350 with a stack on it ready to go in! 3 wires to hookup and we’re doing skiddies handing out our grey poop-on!
Give me the Storm just because I want to actually drive the car I buy.
The Bentley may only be $2150 but don’t forget about the $21,500 you’d probably need to fix it with the right parts. Also it’s not a simple LS swap and be done with it either. Like others have mentioned, those had the mineral oil hydraulic suspension and brakes so you’d need to either get that system working again which probably isn’t cheap or figure out a custom suspension and brake solution. I wonder if anyone makes coil spring and strut conversions for those.
Had to go with the Storm (ugh). The Bentley is great when in good shape, but getting it there will be a wallet draining exercise.
There is NOTHING more EXPENSIVE than a CHEAP Rolls-Royce or, a Bentley.
I am not familiar with the Bentley hydraulics issues mentioned by some here. The engine is steam era technology, so that should not be to challenging to get sorted. It’s a pity the interior looks like it hosted some angry badgers for a party. I don’t really want either car, but I’m voting Bentley because I’m a sucker for elegant outfits.
There’s nothing wrong with that Bentley that an LS, EFI, and an owner with a machine shop, close friend that does upholstery, and a bottomless wallet couldn’t fix. Afterwards it would be better than new!
Bentley, because “Ballin’ On a Budget”.
First cut my teeth on wrenching with English and Italian exotics, no Bentleys but plenty of Rolls.
Got my fill. I’ll take the Geo. Mileage its capable of will be helpful.
Am I having an acid flashback or does the last pic of the Storm look like an up-close photo of a matchbox car?
I noticed that too. Must just be how it’s focused. I did a double-take when I first saw the ad because I thought it was a model car for a second.
Fun fact:
The matchbox car Geo Storm is only 20% smaller than the real one.
The Bently screams money pit. I’ve watched enough Hoovie to know it’s a terrible idea.
In the early 90s the Impulse could be found as the rebadged Asuna Sunfire in Canada. It has the same “Handling by Lotus” badge and they used to be a lot more common around BC than the Geo version. The ’93 model was pretty decent looking and from what I’ve heard handled quite well.
The Storm is the sensible choice and most likely a pretty good deal, but…
I am head over heels in love with old Bentleys and if I had seen this at the time I was in the market I might have done something silly and bought it regardless of the headaches Instead I settled for a more sensible(?) Jaguar XJ6. Even if it really is a parts car I’m pretty sure you could part it out and make a profit.
I’d go with the Storm, if only b/c loved them back in the day (slow, but tossable in the turns and with a heart bigger than its muscles), and frankly, teal was the it color of the ’90s (in the same way silver was in the ’00s).
Could be a Radwood standout as you rarely see these around anymore.
Would totally buy the Bentley so I could enter it in the local dirt track’s sportsman class or a demo derby at the county fair.
That would be so sweet.
Isn’t the Bentley a bit too common to represent true Autopia? For a few hundred more you could own this magnificent puke green Rolls-Royce…
https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/356064996512888/
What can I say????
If the brake system on the Bentley is gone then major bucks to rebuild. Who knows what the interior looks like??? to quote from Bentley a motoring miscellany ” [this deal is] for all those who like me have pursued their passion for the winged B even unto financial disaster”.