Welcome to another Shitbox Showdown! Our mid-week selections come to us once again courtesy of the Underappreciated Survivors group on Facebook, and never have two cars been better examples. Neither one of them has any sort of enthusiast following, neither one of them has hit 60,000 miles yet, and neither one costs more than three grand out the door.
Yesterday, we looked at two other survivors, but from the sounds of it, most of you definitely appreciated them. Accords and Camrys have both been part of the American car landscape for so long that everybody has a story about one or the other. And they’re pretty similar and interchangeable cars, when you get right down to it, which is reflected in the vote: basically a dead heat.
The choice for most of you seems to have come down to the Toyota’s better condition versus the Honda’s conventional seatbelts. Me, I’d take the Honda, but in truth I’d probably keep shopping before buying either.
And that brings me to today’s choices. I’ve long thought that the best choice for an inexpensive used car is a non-enthusiast vehicle with low miles, the so-called “Grandma-mobile.” No, you can’t get them with a stick; don’t even ask. Yes, that howl from the tires around corners is normal; it means slow down. No, you shouldn’t eat that petrified hard candy you found in the glovebox; good grief, do they even still make that stuff anymore?
If you are only going to have one car, I could see why maybe you wouldn’t want it to be something like these. But if you plan to have a fun car in sketchy condition, and need a reliable daily driver, you could do a lot worse. Let’s check them out.
1992 Chevrolet Lumina – $2,600
Engine/drivetrain: 3.1 liter overhead valve V6, four-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Bristol, PA
Odometer reading: 58,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great
Believe it or not, the Chevy Lumina was, once upon a time, sleek and futuristic. It replaced the brutally rectilinear A-body Celebrity in Chevy’s lineup, a couple years after the rest of the W-body cars came out, and not everyone was a fan. I remember one old-timer when I worked at the service station who clung to a rusty ’83 Malibu rather than replace it because he couldn’t stand “those new blobby Chevys.”
Really, the Lumina was pretty conservative. It still had a bench seat and a column-mounted shifter, it carried over the same 60-degree V6 and overdrive automatic from the Celebrity, and just look at all that fake woodgrain. Yes, you could get a sportier Lumina, but the vast majority of them looked like this one. This is a one-owner car for sale by a dealership; I get the feeling it came from someone’s estate. The only info we get is that it runs and drives great, and that it includes the original owner’s manual and window sticker, which is kind of cool.
I do applaud the dealership for resisting the urge to steam-clean the engine. Grimy engines tell a story, and this one is telling me that it has the typical 3.1 valve cover leaks, and probably some more as well. That intake plenum is supposed to be shiny machined aluminum, not covered in gray-brown gunk. “Only driving to church on Sundays” has its drawbacks; fix the oil leaks, and then go give it a nice Italian tuneup.
The rest of it looks good. The inside is a little grubby, but it should clean up all right. With the low miles, you’d be wise to check the date codes on the tires; they could be ten years old and desperately in need of replacement.
1993 Dodge Spirit ES – $2,700
Engine/drivetrain: 2.5 liter overhead cam inline 4, three-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Tonica, IL
Odometer reading: 59,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great
The Dodge Spirit and Plymouth Acclaim were replacements for square cars, too: the original Aries and Reliant K-cars. Designated the AA-body, the Spirit and Acclaim were still pretty boxy, but a lot more handsome than the K-cars. Mechanically, the AA was largely an improved K-car, but that’s not a bad thing. Keep making the same car for a decade or so, and you’re bound to iron out the kinks.
The Spirit is powered by a 2.5 liter version of the K-engine, with balance shafts to smooth it out and throttle-body fuel injection for reliability and drivability. It uses the same tried-and-true Torqueflite three-speed automatic that Chrysler used for decades. It runs great, according to the seller, and needs nothing – but again, check the dates on the tires.
Sadly, we don’t get any interior or underhood photos with this one, except for this shot of the dash. It’s as dull and old-fashioned as the Lumina inside, probably with a split-bench seat as well. The Spirit was also available in a high-performance version, and it put the Lumina Z34 to shame, but just try finding one of those for sale. This plain-Jane Spirit is scarce enough.
If it’s as clean inside as it looks on the outside, I’d say this car is in fine shape. I always liked the looks of the Spirit and Acclaim, even if they look like the generic cars used in advertising. They look simple and honest, without a hint of pretense about their mission or status, and that is to be admired.
Don’t get me wrong; no one is claiming that these cars are even remotely exciting. But I still maintain that a big part of the excitement of a car comes not from what it is, but from where it goes. Boring cars become interesting when they play a part in good stories. With that in mind, I want you to not only choose a car, but comment on where you would road-trip it to. Both of these cars are begging for exercise. Which one, and where to?
(Image credits: Facebook Marketplace sellers)
I love the way the Lumina has those two upper engine mounts (braces? what are they anyway) that look like desperate arms holding on to the engine, trying to keep it from falling into the abyss. Don’t you let go, little 3.1! Don’t you dare let go!
You actually unbolt these at the motor to change the rear bank plugs. There is a cast socket to use a pry bar to rotate the engine forward and one of the arms has an unthreaded hole mid length to put the mounting bolt in to hold the engine in service position. Insane! Then remove (and throw away) the sheet metal firewall guarding for better access.
Ask me how I know
That sounds like a massive pain in the rear.
Those are called “dog bones”.
Yes!
Having driven both of these models, neither is remotely exciting, but would reliably get you to your job in the sulphur mine every day and should continue to be cheap to maintain. I’d buy both (good to have a spare).
Betting that each of these has a Sulphur smell mixed with ribbon candy
My mom went from an ’85 Dodge Lancer turbo to a ’90 Shadow ES. Both were obviously similar cars, but the Shadow felt like a big step back in terms of styling and packaging. She never warmed up to the Shadow and bought an Intrepid as soon as they came out. Yeah, we were a Chrysler family…
Crap, Spirit ES. Too late to edit.
How are you supposed to tie luggage down to those “racks”? Just wrap something around the trunk lid and slam it shut? You can’t just secure it to that raised “spoiler” looking part.
Anyway, the Lumina is probably a more comfortable ride than the Spirit. So I guess its got that going for it. If the Spirit was cleaner inside, that would probably sway me back over to the Dodge, but no interior pics.
Thinking about it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen luggage tied down to one of the exterior racks. Neither on the types of American box cars or the old English sports cars like a Triumph or MG. Guess someone could use them for that but then you’d arrive at the airport or home with filthy luggage with a bunch of dead bugs stuck to it.
“[B]ut again, check the dates on the tires.”
Chances are good these cars are still rocking their original timing belts so it might be a good idea to replace those timing belts, tout de suite, before attending to the tires. One wouldn’t want to spend the money on new tires only to have the engine immediately self-grenade due to a broken timing belt.
The 3.1 would have a chain for its pushrod valve gear.
This is an old school OHV pushrod engine w/ a short timing chain.
And all belts and hoses and seals and…
The Spirit’s 2.5 is not an interference engine. My grandparents’ Spirit started eating timing belts around 300000 kms – just put a new one on and keep going.
Both of these cars are automotive long, dry farts. My god they are boring.
Oh, yeah, but those CUVs nowadays are soooo interesting and exciting.
Frankly, I’d rather have the olfactory excitement of a post-burrito colon, than drive around in most of the modern CUV padded cells to which you refer.
I’m not going to kink-shame you for this comment, but someone should.
The advantage of age, is that you don’t need to engage in false modesty, or worry too much about your reputation. Either you have succeeded well enough at life, that social shaming simply doesn’t significantly impact your existence, or you have not, and those sorts of concerns are beyond repair regardless.
In any case, once one realizes that the conventions of polite society are merely a straightjacket which people clamber into of their own accord, then deciding to dress oneself with less encumbrance becomes an easy decision.
Thank you. And good day.
My statement doesn’t disqualify yours, nor should it. CUVs are awful with all of the excitement of watching paint dry.
An entry level Buick Envista is a thousand times more interesting than either of these.
I went Lumina since we had one in Maui Blue (best thing about the car) as the only car in the family for a while. It was a comfy, squishy car, and having the bench in the front is an awesome feature. My choice is nostalgia based only. The Spirit was intriguing, if only because I haven’t seen one in… maybe 15 years? I still will occasionally see a beat to hell Lumina limping around.
Ours admittedly didn’t last long and was replaced by the dreaded Stratus, which looked far cooler but was in fact, shit.
Design winner for me is the Spirit, but mechanically I want the Lumina.
Both of these cars are the automotive equivalent of hard candy. I’m sure somewhere in the Land of Giants there’s a dusty glass jar filled with these. Did you ever notice that it’s people with dentures who are most likely to consume hard candy? Odd thing about these examples is that both have trunk mounted luggage racks. Guess Granny doesn’t pack light. The Spirit gets my vote today because that’s how the coin flip turned out.
Yup, my grandparents always had ribbon candy or those hard lemon drops around. And have you ever seen luggage on those external racks? I haven’t.
Nope, never. As with opera windows and landau roofs, these were signifiers of a classy bygone era of cars that might appeal to older drivers. Probably weren’t big with middle class family buyers.
I’ll take the Spirit because Luminas have a bad rep for deforming enough in accidents that you can’t get the door open without the jaws of life. It’s going on an adventure to New Mexico to find the spirit in the sky.
I can’t see a Lumina and not think of this local story: https://globalnews.ca/news/5264314/occupants-car-qew-doors-wide-open-arrested/
Voted for the Spirit (and against my general no Chrysler product policy) because I knew a few people with these and with the 3 speed they were pretty durable cars. Also because I’d always think of the guys with the steel beam across the back seat of a Lumina.
Oh boy – had a W-body ’88 Regal Coupe in college with the 2.8. Fragged the transmission, the rear brakes needed replaced annually, the electrical system gave me fits and the interior plastics just fell apart (this was in the late ’90s). I see the dash curling on this one as well. The motor was bulletproof but gutless (access to the rear plugs was interesting) and the body NEVER rusted. I joked the car fell apart around the engine. Have not bought a GM product since. OTOH my experience with Chrysler product has been less than stellar as well and only a 3 speed trans!!? I’ve ridden in a Spirit/Acclaim or two and they were comfy. The devil you know vs the devil you don’t.
Tough choice… I was going to pick the Lumina since it had a truck mounted luggage rack, but then I scrolled down and so did the Spirit. Spirit wins for me, I think it looks a bit better.
The Spirit, despite its surfeit of right and obtuse angles, is exceedingly comfortable and a great distance cruiser. Reliable and rock solid with the basic 2.5 and TorqueFlite transmission. Win.
This one is easy. The Lumina is more comfortable, very easy to fix, and as hard to kill as those big cockroaches people call palmetto bugs.
I have no desire to change the spark plugs on the rear bank of a transverse V6. So Spirit by default.
Bingo bango bongo. This is the correct answer. Transverse V configuration engines are always a cast iron mofo to work on. Spirit for me.
The Lumina will prove reliable. The Spirit is only worth it if it’s an RT.
This is the correct take. I was really hoping I’d scroll down and see R/T somewhere, but sadly I did not, so Lumina it is.
While boring, I had a Lumina from that era. It would just run and could take longer trips with out breaking your back. If I needed a general purpose car, that would get my money.
If I could, I’d buy and care for that Spirit to the point people would question my sanity even more than they already do.
That one is CLEAN.
I hate Chevys of this vintage. They are terrible and just seeing one makes me sad.
I picked the Spirit because of the I4 over the V6
I picked the Dodge for some unknown reason.
Lumina, solely because I drove the Pontiac version in high school.
You could get grandma-spec Spirits with a stick but couldn’t have been common. They label this one as an ES, but the ES still had the sills and cladding, so this must be a plain base one. It always bugged me that they had the amber turn signal section, but it was just for show as they went to the combo brake/signal. The later years of the 2nd-gen Ford Escort sedan also had a faux amber signal, I guess for continuity with Escort bodystyles that did have an actual amber signal.
My grandparents had a Lumina of this gen so some nostalgia there, but I’m going Spirit. I get the impression it’s a little less grungy inside but I could be just assuming that, like a “what you don’t know won’t hurt” thing.
I gotta be honest, I closed my eyes and clicked around randomly until I selected one and I’ve already forgotten which. These are both interchangeable boring grey 4door sedans with luggage racks that you would have found in a Hertz or Enterprise lot back in the 90s. I know, because we would rent something like this back then for family vacations then strike off across the country.
Where would I go? I haven’t really seen Tahoe or Zion or Yellowstone yet (I’m told I saw some of these as an infant but I don’t really remember) so that’s probably where I’d go.
Yeah, that’s my experience. Rented both of these and thought the same thing when getting in, hearing that chime and starting them up. Did people actually make a choice to buy these over an equivalent sized Honda or Toyota?