One nice thing about obsessively looking at old car brochures is that you notice patterns and trends in the Car Brochureverse that might otherwise have gone unnoticed. Patterns like what I’ve seen in Oldsmobile brochures from the 1970s. In the ’70s, Oldsmobile’s world-class Brochure Concept Task Force (BCTF) had an idea: surround Oldsmobiles with animals! They did not do this in the ’60s or the ’80s, but in the ’70s? Oh yeah, absolutely animal-slathered. Let’s look at some examples!
Okay, first, let’s look at what Oldsmobile was doing in the 1960s:
Look at that! That amazing purple Toronado! And it’s shot in a black void, with a trench-coated man standing back there, looking all mysterious.
Okay, let’s jump to 1979, and see where things end up:
…and we’re back in the dark void! The warm, welcoming comfort of the darkness!
Okay, but what happened in between? Animals!
Sheep! Lots and lots of sheep! So many sheep! And, from up top, cattle!
Dark, dark cattle, hardly distinguishable from that tree back there, almost silhouettes!
What the hell, let’s get some horses in here, too. What I like about these photos is the fact that all of these cars are incredibly ill-suited to all of these things, really. I mean, maybe the station wagon there on the dirt road is viable, but I’ve driven these cars, and the idea of driving a Delta 88 onto a field of potentially wet grass and soggy ground seems like a recipe for getting stuck. These things didn’t have great traction in the best circumstances, so putting them out in a field of cattle just isn’t something I’d want to do.
That said, Oldsmobile did have this:
Look at that! Those high-mounted stop and turn signals! Such forward thinking! They’re useful and clever and of course they were gone very soon after this model, never to return again. Like all those animals.
My first car was a 1961 Olds 98. There are times I’d really like that driving experience again. Not that specific car, because it was not in great shape, but the size, the soft ride, pillarless hardtop (4 doors, at that), excellent visibility. What I don’t want is the maintenance. The drum brake adjustment needs were annoying, it’s tendency to vapor lock in slightly hot weather and more. The Toyota Avalon was really the closest thing out there to it after the panther platform died, and the Avalon doesn’t exist anymore. Everything else is luxury branded.
Grandpa was an Oldsmobile man. From the early 50’s to the 90’s when he passed away they were all 4 door 88’s in that pale Champagne color. When I asked him once why he didn’t go for a 98 or even a Cadillac (and he could afford it) he replied that he didn’t want to be a show off. Great guy.
The pastoral scene of an Oldsmobile out hunting for a cutlet.
*If you don’t get the reference, that was the new upcoming compact model.
I feel like Pappy the farmer got himself a nice GMC pickup, and while he was at the dealer, picked up a nice Oldsmobile for Mawmaw.
“and the idea of driving a Delta 88 onto a field of potentially wet grass and soggy ground seems like a recipe for getting stuck.”
Actually a 1968 98 LS can be loads of fun turning donuts in a field.
This was in ’69. It was a friend’s dad’s car.
Made me think of this absolutely great record from the start of this century.
Probably intentional, as we’re about the same age? 😉
Ah, thanks for the trip down memory lane. I spent a couple of years in your mother country and used that opportunity to drive cars that are just not suitable for European roads. So my winter vehicle became a ’89 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Royal Brougham (white/red). For summertime, I found me a well-kept ’69 Oldsmobile 98 Holiday Hardtop Sedan (blue/blue). I dubbed them Old Lady and Young Lady. I loved both of them. Why two Olds? Just a coincident. Damn, that was 20 years ago. Ouch!
The ’71-’76 Ninety-Eight, largest car Oldsmobile ever built, and one I have a deeply irrational desire for.
Me too, and in GOLD, a color that just makes love to an Oldsmobile.
Hope you have a big enough garage. I have the smaller ’72 Delta 88, and only a few inches of clearance.
If you do have the room, highly recommended.
“Note the vertical bumper guards – they’re standard.” I hear that being read by an announcer with a gravely voice and slicked back hair, ciggy hanging from his lip, tie loose around his neck. He says it with a wink and a nod, like we’re getting a behind the scenes tour of the Federal Reserve and the doors are unlocked and cameras un-monitored. We’re getting something special here.
Oldsmobile was just being safe using nothing but 88’s and 98’s in the animal ads. You’ve seen the way Toronado’s throw animals around in movies like Twister.
They won’t let us post photos or GIFs, so just pretend I’ve uploaded every Picard/Riker face-palm meme that has ever existed.
These ads were meant to reinforce the herd mentality that made the mediocre (in performance and styling) Olds Cutlass a best seller in the 70s. I’m embarrassed to acknowledge that the Cutlass was the top seller the years I graduated from high school and college. But then, the Granada was #2 one of those years, with the Chevy Citation and Chevette in a dead heat in the other, so obviously there was just something wrong with America.
Automakers can barely give away practical family sedans nowadays, but a RWD personal luxury coupe was the best selling car back then, above sedans, above wagons. Different era, for sure.
Yeah, I worked in a service station all through those years and while I never got the appeal of most of those cars, I was sure aware that lots of other people found them so. Nothing wrong with that, just didn’t float my boat. I did take exception to one of my college roommates who kept referring to his Cutlass as a sports car. That was just wrong.
That rancher is about to show that nice lady his boom stick. (yes, I know its a 98, not an 88 in the picture. Shut up.)
Groovy…
I’m no expert on the dark arts of pre-digital graphics, but wow is it obvious that Ninety-Eight has been pasted into that cattle scene. It’s like an apparition.
They were comparing land mammals to sea mammals. After all, those Oldsmobiles were whales and whales are technically mammals ya know. No explanation for the pervy flasher dude hiding behind the Toronado waiting to display his wares to his next victim.
Dude in the trenchcoat wants to open it up and show you his angry purple Toronado.
Oh my….
George Takei voice?
Indeed.