Only Slightly Scary Camper Vans: 1973 Ford Econoline vs 1984 Dodge B350

Good morning! Today’s Shitbox Showdown contestants are a couple of camper vans, and before you make that face you’re about to make, let me just say that they’re both in better shape than I expected. I mean, you can’t expect miracles for these prices, but neither one should make you want to run away screaming.

Some days I have an inkling of how the vote is going to go before I even finish writing. Yesterday was not one of those days. I figured it was anyone’s game, and expected a close vote. How wrong I was. Despite some misgivings in the comments about its aftermarket wheels, the little Escort wagon simply walked away with this one.

I think I have to agree. My old Escort treated me well, and I always liked my friend’s wagon version even more than my hatchback. Yes, of course I’d rather have a manual, but even with an automatic, mine wasn’t that slow. Its biggest fault was hunting between third and forth gear on hills, a problem made worse by the fact that for some reason, there was no button or shifter position to turn the overdrive off.

Now then: Halloween is just around the corner, and the decorations are coming out. We have one of those twelve-foot-tall skeletons from Home Depot in our yard, all lit up with spotlights, and one of our neighbors nearby has chosen a “scary clown” theme. Not my style, but boy oh boy, did they commit to it. They also have a beat-up old Chevy van parked sideways across their driveway, with “FREE CANDY” scrawled on the side in big, drippy letters. My assumption, and hope, is that they will be passing out candy to trick-or-treaters from within that van.

In honor of that truly disturbing van at the end of a gauntlet of clowns, I wanted to find some scary vans to feature here. I went looking, and found these two camper vans instead. They’re quite friendly in comparison to my neighbor’s van, and actually, I think they both have potential to be really cool. Let’s check them out.

1973 Ford Econoline 300 – $3,900

Engine/drivetrain: 302 cubic inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD

Location: Folsom, CA

Odometer reading: 92,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

As long as there have been motorized wheeled vehicles, people have been outfitting them to live in, but it wasn’t until after World War II that the idea of converting a van into a recreational vehicle really took off. In the late 1960s and early 1970s, vans outfitted for camping were big business, and an awful lot of panel-sided vans ended up in the hands of conversion companies, having their roofs cut of and a fiberglass top installed to make more room inside for beds and appliances and everything else people wanted to take with them when they got away from it all. In 1973, this second-generation Ford Econoline one-ton van came out of the factory of a company called Red-E-Kamp, in more or less the form you see it here today.

The earliest Econolines were a cab-over design, with the seats atop the front wheels and the engine just behind them. For the 1969 model year, Ford moved the seats back and the engine forward, now enclosed in the familiar “doghouse” protruding from the dash. Inside the doghouse of this one is a 302 V8 and a three-speed automatic. It runs and drives well, and has only 92,000 miles on its odometer.

Anyone who grew up with friends whose parents had a conversion van probably remember a lot of shag carpeting and velour upholstery. That does not seem to have been the style of 1973, at least from the factory; this van’s interior is a study in fake woodgrain and blue vinyl. It has a sink, a stove, and a fridge, and features two sleeping areas: one in the back, which looks like it converts into a sofa, and one up above in a loft, which probably has a very strict weight limit. It’s all original, the seller says, and really isn’t in bad condition at all, considering. And at least vinyl is easy to clean.

It shows a little bit of rust outside, but the seller says the floors are solid. The paint actually looks decent, on the steel part anyway; the fiberglass top is pretty faded. As long as it’s watertight, I suppose it doesn’t matter if it’s a little chalky.

1984 Dodge B350 – $4,500

Engine/drivetrain: 360 cubic inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD

Location: Rancho Cordova, CA

Odometer reading: 50,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

Dodge vans were a favorite of the RV conversion companies for many years, whether the full-on Class C motorhomes or conversion vans like Uncle Rico drove. Even a lot of the larger Winnebago-type RVs in the 1960s and ’70s were Dodge-powered. What you don’t see too often, though, is a long-wheelbase, extended-length “church van” like this converted to an RV. This sucker is 22 feet long, and only has a small bump in the center section of the roof, making it longer and lower than your typical camper van.

Inside the doghouse of this extra-long B-series van is a 360 cubic inch V8 and a Torqueflite automatic transmission. It’s a good strong high-torque combination, just what you need to muscle around a beast like this. The seller says it runs well, and they spent the summer road-tripping in it. Now they’re having a baby, and don’t expect to be able to do much traveling, so they’re giving someone else a chance.

It has all the stuff you’d expect to find in a camper van: a stove, a fridge, a freshwater tank with a propane water heater, and plenty of places to sleep. It also has a propane furnace and a roof-mounted air conditioner, so you don’t have to fear the outside temperature. It all looks serviceable, if not perfect, and I don’t want to “Jump” to any conclusions, but I get the feeling from that fridge that someone is a Van Halen fan.

It’s clean outside and about as stylish as you can expect something like this to be. One thing does need attention, though: Someone recently broke the rear window, so it needs to be replaced. The seller has adjusted the price accordingly, and it’s not a fancy piece of glass, so it shouldn’t be too much trouble to fix.

Camper vans, more so than maybe any other vehicle, can get really sketchy really fast as you drop down the price range. But I don’t get the impression that either of these has been lived in long long-term or otherwise abused; they both seem to have been used as designed, for vacations and road trips, and they’re both ready for more. Which one are you going with?

(Image credits: sellers)