Home » Our Angriest Contributor Went To The Hospital And Logged Onto Slack ‘High As Balls’ And It’s The Funniest Thing You’ll Read All Week

Our Angriest Contributor Went To The Hospital And Logged Onto Slack ‘High As Balls’ And It’s The Funniest Thing You’ll Read All Week

High As Balls Chat
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Should you become a member just to read this? Yes, absolutely. Do it.

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MikeInTheWoods
MikeInTheWoods
4 months ago

1989 XJ Laredo that had lots of adventures. Plenty of room for activities. Also plenty of room for 10 people to fit while driving 110mph on I84 in NY. The XJ speedo only goes to 85mph, but the Nissan Sentra we were side-by-side with went up to 120ish, and they were with us.

Peter W
Peter W
4 months ago

85 Dodge Charger because I was classy

LongCoolLincoln
LongCoolLincoln
4 months ago

I think if the pickup bed has a shell, you are having sex IN it, not ON it.

Just saying. Not for any reason.

Geoff Buchholz
Geoff Buchholz
4 months ago

Honestly, TFTS is a highlight of this site. I am deeply jealous that I’m only in the Autopian Cinematic Universe in my head, and not in this Slack channel.

Oldhusky
Oldhusky
4 months ago

I love this. Excuse me but i have to drink seven more beers and inappropriately drunk text some old friends and also some work acquaintances. The fact that my pretend Autopian internet friends are all actually friends with each other in real life is heartwarming to the maxxx. Is this the last real place in cyberspace?

JerryLH3
JerryLH3
4 months ago

This was a gem. And 2000 Ford Taurus.

SAABstory
SAABstory
4 months ago

Joined as a member because of Torch and Tracy, keep subscribing because of gold like this from Adrian.

And for the record, a 70 VW beetle and a 76 T-bird.

William Domer
William Domer
4 months ago
Reply to  SAABstory

Imagine a Festiva with a sunroof. That is all I’m going to say.

BigThingsComin
BigThingsComin
4 months ago

This one is funny and sad. Don’t read if you can’t stand sad dog stories. We were gifted an elderly floof of a dog. I mean extremely floofy and soft. The kind where you just want to stroke constantly and bury your face in it. But this dog was not a snuggler at all. If he was on the floor and you sat next to him, he immediately got up and walked away. If you sat on the sofa with him, he would climb off and onto the other sofa. He was otherwise a normal dog and an awesome catcher of Frisbee, given his advanced age. Unfortunately, he came down with intestinal (mesenteric) torsion, which is 90% fatal. My wife and son were delayed getting to the Vet to say goodbye, so the Vet shot him up with powerful painkillers so they had time. When he was high as balls, he became the snuggliest dog ever. He went to each of us and rubbed us repeatedly, and curled up on the floor with us. So as tragic as the end was, we still laugh about how he had to be high as balls to allow us to snuggle him. He was a very good boy.

So, yeah, I can see Adrian getting all friendly and snuggley when he’s high as balls.

Last edited 4 months ago by BigThingsComin
Double Wide Harvey Park
Double Wide Harvey Park
4 months ago

“Sober as a judge”

I know a superior court judge who’s 74% alcohol. And she’s not the only one.

Adrian Clarke
Adrian Clarke
4 months ago

Rookie numbers.

Double Wide Harvey Park
Double Wide Harvey Park
4 months ago
Reply to  Adrian Clarke

Are you all fixed up? Did they manage to thaw your heart?

Adrian Clarke
Adrian Clarke
4 months ago

No. More cameras have to go in places they’re not meant to go. And the next one is going to be a lot more eye watering.

ClutchAbuse
ClutchAbuse
4 months ago

Backseat of a 1990 Ford probe. I’d been trying to bang this girl for all of highschool and I wasn’t going to let that pathetic back seat stop me when I finally got the chance. Luckily, she was skinny and flexible.

Also, much loving was had in the back of my XJ with the rear seat pushed down. But that was just too easy. May as well have been a double bed at the Holiday inn.

Shit, I just remembered, I did the deed on the front passenger seat of that same Probe with a different girl as well.

No wonder I smile when I think about Ford Probes…

Last edited 4 months ago by ClutchAbuse
Totally not a robot
Totally not a robot
4 months ago

2000 GMC Safari. But I think that van is basically made for that.

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