Good morning and welcome back to The Morning Something, The Autopian’s daily roundup of the news that matters most in the world of cars. It’s Wednesday, which is the same thing as Friday, if you believe hard enough. On today’s docket: Some apparent details emerge on Porsche’s next EV, which is due to be very voluminous; President Joe Biden defends the Inflation Reduction Act at the State of Union address; Subaru has EV plans now, too; and Tesla has a new “Master Plan” coming soon.
Porsche’s K1 Project Is A Big Deal, Literally
At the risk of sounding like a fanboy, because I’m not, one thing that’s cool about Porsche is that it doesn’t really make bad cars. Seriously, what was the last bad Porsche? Maybe the 924, with the underpowered cargo van engine? Or the 968, which was kind of half-assed? But even those are very cool and have plenty of their own merits. The point is, when Porsche sets out to do something—like an SUV or an EV—the end result is usually going to be pretty great. Even if you’re anti-crossover, would you really say no to a weekend in a top-shelf Macan? I didn’t think so.
So when Porsche says it’s going to make a big, seven-seat electric SUV next, I have faith that the German automaker will make it a good one. That’s what’s next on the P-Car docket, reports the UK’s Autocar. It’s called Project K1, “a very sporting interpretation of an SUV.”
When it arrives, the advanced four-wheel-drive flagship will head a growing Porsche line-up, consisting of seven individual models. The K1 will offer the latest in synchronous electric motor, high-performance battery and rapid-charging technology – developments that, insiders at the company’s Zuffenhausen headquarters in Germany say, will extend its price well beyond the £150,500 of the existing internal-combustion-engined Porsche Cayenne Turbo GT.
Already three years in conception and planning, the new Porsche model aims to build on the success of the Porsche Cayenne and Porsche Macan, Porsche’s two best-selling models over the past two decades, as well as last year. The K1 is intended to support this trend with a combination of sportiness and utility that, it is hoped, will appeal to customers in its two largest markets: North America and China.
Biden Defends Inflation Reduction Act In SOTU Address
[…] In response to Biden’s remarks, Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers, R-Wash., blasted Biden’s “rush-to-green agenda.” She said Republicans will continue their oversight of how the Biden administration implements the Inflation Reduction Act, arguing that the law “embraces massive government subsidies and regulations to place unreliable, weather dependent renewables above all other energy sources.”
Subaru’s Big EV Push Starts In 2025
“Our main electrification strategy centers on strong hybrids and electric vehicles and introducing such models in the U.S. by 2025,” Tomoaki Emori, senior vice president of the corporate planning division, said at the company’s Wednesday quarterly earnings announcement.
Anyway, Subaru makes a ton of U.S.-market vehicles at its Indiana plant, but no word yet on whether that factory will see a big battery investment to take advantage of IRA rules.
Tesla’s New ‘Master Plan’
Master Plan 3, the path to a fully sustainable energy future for Earth will be presented on March 1.
The future is bright! pic.twitter.com/11ug0LRlbD
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) February 8, 2023
It’s that time again! Time for Tesla to make some big pronouncements to gin up its stock price and cash from reservations on cars (and robots?) that may never happen. Okay, that’s a little harsh, but it’s not wrong.
We will, however, get some big Tesla news on March 1, its Investor Day presentation in Austin, Texas. In the past, such Master Plans have outlined the path from the Roadster to the lineup Tesla has today; and then where Tesla stands on buses, trucks, autonomous tech and duds like the Boring Company. So what’s in Part Three? Here’s some analysis from The Verge, emphasis mine:
Tesla has already said that it would reveal concrete details about its next-generation vehicle platform during its Investor Day event. The company is working on a refreshed version of the Tesla Model 3 as well as a robotaxi designed to be a shared vehicle.
Robotaxis and the next-gen platform will for sure get more fleshed out during Musk’s presentation. Given his focus on scaling Tesla’s operations to extreme size, we should expect some mention of the long-promised $25,000 EV. And some mention of the company’s controversial Full Self-Driving system and how it will plan into Musk’s stilted vision of an autonomous future is all but guaranteed.
Back To You
Support our mission of championing car culture by becoming an Official Autopian Member.
Am I just poor and don’t know it? My wife and I make a lot of money but the prices of these cars seems insane. I guess we could afford it but you’re talking about a 2k/mo car payment. Even the BMW X5 starts in the 60s. I know those are ‘luxury’ models, but still seems insane.
Of course the new Mazda is easily into the 60s too. Maybe I’m just old and cheap.
No, cars have just gotten stupid expensive and as with most things, wages haven’t kept up.
“And meaningful under the skin improvements in (checks notes) ALSO NEVER.”
They did, however, make the sensors worse by removing radar and ultrasonic sensors in favor of just relying on cameras. So they at least made a meaningful update, I guess. It just went the wrong way.
Please allow me to make a weird comparison between Tesla and VW (of the 50s-60s)…
Both entered the industry with a largely new paradigm. Both had a few basic models that didn’t change much for years. Both had good brand recognition. Both had an almost cult-like following.
The end game for air-cooled VW is that after about 25 years of doing the exact same thing with incremental changes, everyone else advanced far past what VW was still doing by 1973. Is that what will happen to Tesla?
“Dude, they got it so right the first time it took the competition this long to even figure out what an electric vehicle is, dude! And the changes are so awesome they can’t be appreciated by little ICE’d sheeple, dude! Wait a second, you’re fronting for Big Oil trying to smear Tesla and Our Lord Elon! I’ll pwn you by buying more Tesla stock I believe so hard! Wanna see the screenshot? No? Well, fine, troll!” /s
Ouch, that snark was painful to type.
Tesla will have to do what VW did and alienate their hardcore fans to adapt and survive with new products that are different from their current ones. While they’re vocal, they’re a minority. At that point the board will have no choice but to deal with the Elon in the room. What the market will want is different from what the Chief Twit gets told from within his bubble. Grab your popcorn and get ready, it’ll be a fight to watch.
The Model S is so decontented they don’t even ship with an entire steering wheel anymore.
I’m waiting for the $420 Tesla, now puff-puff-give.
OK, I’m going to say it. Porsche styling is dull, dull, dull. Time for some fresh ideas, guys. There’s only so far you can take the upside-down bathtub look and after 60 years it is played out! Let’s get creative.
NO
Signed,
Stans the bathtub
P.S.: Don’t mess with the shape of the 911’s lights again or I swear to parsh I will riot
Given the number of manufacturers releasing gargantuan SUVs, I’m frankly very surprised that none have decided to offer a six door model yet. Maybe even throw in a fourth row of seats. It’s as if the marketing people just don’t understand what an arms race is.
“short bonnet by Porsche standards, a steeply raked windscreen and a curved roof that extends into a liftback-style tailgate”
So, an MPV/minivan? By the way, kudos to whoever (didn’t see a credit) chopped the Taycan front onto the Cayenne/Macan (who can tell and who cares?) but that thing is exquisitely hideous.
One Tesla announcement I would like to see is them going to CCS standard. Replacing their CEO would be nice, of course.
A lot of the requirements for the new EV credits and junk from that plan are based on North America, not America or USA, it includes Canada and Mexico. The majority of manufacturing and jobs related to the credits that companies are banking on will create jobs in Mexico prolly more than the US.
At this point it wouldn’t surprise me if this BIG ANNOUNCEMENT is just a slide show of Elon’s dick pics at assorted angles…and yet there would still be idiots fawning over his “genius”. The dude could charge $420.69 for a tub of excrement with a Tesla logo on it and weird terminally online nerds would still line up around the block to buy it and rush home to post about it 9000 times and go defend God Emperor Musk in every comments section they can find.
I don’t care what about whatever weird sci fi vaporware this bag of hot stinky air is announcing. Until he steps down as CEO I’m never considering one of his products. Maybe he’ll announce that that’s what he’s doing. A man can dream…
He announced he would be stepping down from Twitter and look how that’s gone. His word is worthless.
He never set a timeline for stepping down from Twitter
Elon is going to announce suspended production and sales of all electric vehicles in favour of his latest ‘moon shot’: teleportation. And he’s going to claim it is net power negative, teleportation generates power. And it will be ready in 18 months. Really.
I want the impossible from Tesla: a well built product that launches in a timely manner.
I’d say they need a new SUV and refreshed Models 3, Y, and S and a small inexpensive CUV. They won’t do that, Elon will have many far less rational ideas to share.
Since when has Porsche made an automobile that wasn’t expensive?
This has literally never happened. “Entry level” Porsches have always hovered pretty close to the median household income in Murica price wise. I love Porsche, but their entire business is making toys for the 1%. They usually have an aspirational car in the lineup that average Joes might be able to get into as a stretch purchase if they play their cards right (944, Macan, etc) but it’s usually a watered down version of the full Porsche experience.
Tesla’s $25,000 car will be a small 4-seat hatch with a front mounted FWD diesel 2-stroke engine. No screens, manual wipers and the doors will magically open when you push on them like kitchen cupboards (because they will use the latches from kitchen cupboards).
He’ll promise Tesla branded biofuel demonstrated by what is transparently a man in a biofuel suit, and the first 2 years production will immediately sell out, then be delivered n+3 years late (where n is twice the number you first thought of).
Also he’ll announce that Dany Bahar will head up a new combined product development and PR department.
Plus something silly.
Whatever happened to Dany Bahaha?
He runs a body kit company in Modena, according to Wikipedia.
I met him once, he made an impression.
What do I want out of Tesla’s Master Plan presentation?
Well, I’m not an investor in the company, so I’m not all that concerned with their profitability or product line gaps or anything like that. I don’t need a crossover, so I’m not all that interested in the Model Y. I don’t need a minivan* so I’m not interested in the Model X. And I’m not really a sedan guy, so the Models 3 and S don’t appeal all that much to me. I don’t want the vaporware Tesla Roadster that costs a quarter million and might be able to fly or float or whatever. I don’t want a stupid yoke steering wheel. I don’t want allegedly bulletproof windows or a design straight out of one of my old PS1 games. I don’t want a car that claims to drive itself but really can’t.
What I’d like to see is a true small car that’s not a penalty box. An electric “hot hatch” if you will. I don’t need a racecar. I just want the equivalent of a Golf GTI with a battery (ideally 2 real doors and a hatch). Equivalent to no more than 250 or so horsepower (anything more than that is… ahem… ludicrous). Just something that’ll take me to the office in style and comfort, something that will handle a Costco run worth of cargo without any trouble.
Nobody really makes those kinds of cars anymore, probably because there’s little demand for them, but I sure would like something like that.
*I do respect the “emperor’s new minivan” situation with the Model X, though. Seating for 7, stupid rear doors, low ground clearance — that’s not an SUV; that’s a minivan. But through hype and a 6-figure price tag, Tesla has tricked people into thinking it’s cool. Good for them.
That Porsche looks like it is crying. 🙁
I think the same thing about Toyota 4Runner headlights and C7 Corvette taillights. All of those cars look like they got drunk, cried in the ladies room of the bar, and now their mascara is running.
I thought it was a juggalo
The K1 looks like the designer was distracted by a spouse who just texted they want a divorce while spending an afternoon sketching in a room covered in sad-clown wallpaper.
Maybe The Bishop or Adrian can clean this up for Porsche.
Its mom, a nice Porsche Cayenne from the good part of town, got drunk one night and hooked with a big burly Ford C600 from the wrong side of the tracks.
https://media.sandhills.com/img.axd?id=6262595823&wid=4326209787&rwl=False&p=&ext=&w=639&h=480&t=&lp=TRK&c=True&wt=False&sz=Max&rt=0&checksum=fQ91%2bGHZPIYu2LXb2KSud0GtilzQLEENVADV4k2zIz8%3d
Maybe it saw it’s own reflection. That is one ugly car, even by SUV standards.
Yeeeeeah, the Taycan lights don’t scale up vertically all that well. Here’s hoping they go more “Cayenne, but bigger” for this new big boy.
“What do you want to see from Tesla’s Master Plan presentation? All snark aside…”
Those last three words don’t leave much to work with here.
I want that $25K Tesla to be a 2door hatch. I want $25K to be for the stripped down short range RWD model. I would love to find a long range AWD Performance model around $35-40K.
What’s that saying about wishing in one hand and crapping in the other?
Springtime for Elon and gigafactory
Twitland is happy and gay
He’s charging for a faster Stan
Look out, here comes the master plan
Don’t be stupid, be a smarty! Come and join the Muskie Party!
Springtime for Elon and gigafactory
Robotaxi’s the next step today
Updates dropping from the skies again
Twitland is on the rise again
NOT… ENOUGH… LIKES… POSSIBLE.
C O T D
“Porsche’s seven seat electric minivan will be very big very expensive”
There, I fixed it for you.
What do I want to see from Tesla’s Master Plan?
1. Elon is no longer CEO
2. A new vehicle platform that can provide a car/SUV smaller and cheaper than the 3/Y platform
3. Realistic Cybertruck information
4. US Supercharger network opened up to all EVs
5. Massive supercharge network expansion.
IMHO, the Cybertruck will start strong with a long waitlist. Then sales will drop until Tesla redesigns it to look more like a regular truck.
I still don’t understand why people still care about the CyberTruck, unless you’re TechBro looking show off at CrossFit & Coffee (Non-fat soy)… but didn’t they all get laid off this year?!?! With the Rivian, GM & Ford EV trucks isn’t Tesla too far behind to be relevant at this point?
All of those just started shipping to consumers recently. If the Cybertruck could show up in 2023 in some realistic form it would still be relevant.
I don’t think it’s going to happen, but in our happy little hypothetical world it might.
Elon Musk: “On March 1 I’m going to announce a whole new version of vaporware that may or may not come true in the next 5-10 years after I tell you it’ll happen in 2 years…”
Just my “hater” and “short” opinion here, but a mature and profitable company shouldn’t need to resort to tricks like customer deposits for products that may or may not be coming.
Hoping we are past that. Deliver or just say the Cybertruck/Semi/Roadster 2 are concepts.