Good morning! It’s a new week, and a new month, which means a whole new chance to make terrible automotive decisions. And boy oh boy, do we have a couple of bad decisions today. You think dating that actress back in college was a bad move? She’s got nothing on these two.
On Friday, we looked at two cars that were equally dull, and as I expected, you preferred the one that’s easier to make less dull. Because of the Mustang connection and its Lego-like parts availability, that fleet-special Fairmont could be as wild as you’d like it to be. Lots of you mentioned a 302/5-speed swap, and I like that idea – especially if you leave the outside exactly as it is.
But I know me, and modifying cars just isn’t something I do. I like to think about it, but I rarely have the gumption to actually get around to doing it. As they sit, both of these cars are as dull as a PowerPoint presentation about laundry detergent, but the Mazda is a much better put-together car. So I’d probably take that one, and plan – but never actually do – a manual swap.
Life is full of uncertainty, and you can never really tell how something is going to turn out. But sometimes you can look at something and you just know, no matter how appealing it may seem, that it’s a bad idea: Giving a tiger an unsolicited nose boop, for instance, or going to that $4.99 all-you-can-eat seafood buffet at the casino. Think seriously about doing something like that, and if you have any sanity at all, alarms start going off in your head.
But we’re talking about cars here, and when it comes to cars, a lot of us just plain don’t have any sanity. We can convince ourselves that anything is a good idea, with enough circular logic and wishful thinking. So with that in mind, here are two truly terrible ideas, and I’m going to make you pick one.
2003 Land Rover Freelander – $3,000
Engine/drivetrain: 2.5 liter dual overhead cam V6, five-speed automatic, 4WD
Location: Carbondale, CO
Odometer reading: 77,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives, but check-engine light is on
What is it with brands famous for four-wheel-drive vehicles changing ownership? Much like Jeep, Land Rover as a company has had more parents than Jim Holden. (C’mon, don’t leave me hanging; I can’t be the only Expanse fan here.) The Freelander was introduced under BMW’s stewardship, but by the time this 2003 model was built, Land Rover was owned by Ford.
The engine, however, comes from neither of those companies – it dates all the way back to the Rover days, a 2.5 liter V6, driving all four wheels through a five-speed automatic. The Freelander got a lot of grief on introduction for not being a “real Land Rover,” lacking a dual-range transfer case and solid axles, but it wasn’t really meant to be, either. It’s more of a “soft-roader,” like Ford’s Bronco Sport. But the Freelander comes from an earlier, cooler time, when small crossover SUVs were still available with two doors and a removable top.
It runs and drives, the seller says, but the Check Engine light is currently on. The seller also says they’ve spent a lot of money and had a lot of work done. It sounds like maybe they’re just done with it, which unfortunately happens a lot to Land Rovers of all shapes and sizes. Anecdotes aren’t data, of course, but the reviews of 2003 Freelanders on Carsurvey are eye-opening. A nice reliable RAV4, this is not.
It is, however, orders of magnitude cooler than a RAV4 of the same year. The back of the top comes off, leaving only that exoskeletal roll cage (which may or may not do any good in an actual rollover). And split three-spoke wheels need to make a comeback. They just do.
2014 Ford Fiesta ST – $3,400
Engine/drivetrain: Turbocharged 1.6 liter dual overhead cam inline 4, six-speed manual, FWD
Location: A ways east of El Cajon, CA
Odometer reading: 26,000 miles
Operational status: Started and ran when purchased, not sure about now
Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace are dangerous to browse. I don’t care who you are or what your preferred vehicle type is, if you look hard enough, you will find something that calls to you – usually just outside your price range. That’s where Copart comes in. There you will find much cheaper, slightly damaged cars up for auction, ready for you to fix up and enjoy. Or, sometimes, start to fix up, realize they’re in worse shape than you thought, give up, and sell on.
This Ford Fiesta ST – the very definition of a “hot hatch” – came from a Copart auction five years ago. The seller got all the parts to fix it, started disassembling it, and discovered the frame is bent. It apparently ran and moved under its own power when purchased, and the damage seemed cosmetic, but as it turns out it’s a bit more serious than that. From the sound of it, it’s still fixable, but it’s outside the seller’s skills.
Just in case you’ve been living under a rock, the ST was the fast version of Ford’s little Fiesta, equipped with a 1.6 liter EcoBoost four-cylinder and a six-speed manual. It also has stiffer suspension, fatter tires, and these sweet Recaro seats. In other words, it’s a desirable car – if not for the crunched nose.
It’s hard to say what it would take to put this car back on the road. I’ve seen some skilled body folks perform minor miracles on cars way worse than this, but is it worth it? It looks like average Fiesta STs are changing hands for around eight grand, so if you can do the frame work and paint it yourself, this car is a bargain. If you don’t work at a body shop, maybe not so much.
Logic isn’t always the motivating factor when it comes to car purchases, and thank goodness – if it were, we’d all be driving Camry hybrids. But there are times when you have to put the brakes on a truly ill-advised purchase, like a catastrophically unreliable British SUV or a crunched fast Ford. You, however, for the purposes of this exercise, don’t have the luxury of walking away from both of these; you must choose. Which will it be?
(Image credits: Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace sellers)
I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of those Freelanders with its top off. I have on the other hand seen one of the early RAV-4’s topless once or maybe twice. At a more reasonable price the FiST would be the one to have. Pick up a basic model with the unloved automated manual transmission and swap in all the FiST specific go fast goodies and interior.
Land Rover for me. I’d rather do engine diagnostics than frame damage. Plus it’s a neat little oddball car. It’s only 3 hours from me. Good thing I don’t have any more room to park it.
These both seem like awful decision but the land Rover could at least be used for some kind of hoopty race the the lemons or could just be taken off road to send it and you would be having a hell of a fun time. The fiesta on the other hand is a parts car at this point it would seem and to me not worth the time and effort to fix.
“And split three-spoke wheels need to make a comeback.”
Yeah, agreed.
If one were to call them six-spoke wheels would it make a wheel geek’s eye twitch?
Agreed. There’s also this thing about calling out the contemporary Rav4 for not being as cool looking, but if I recall those could also be optioned with split three spoke wheels.
Wow these are bad choices! I will take the LR though because I am a sucker for a 2 door convertible SUV that isn’t a Jeep.
The first thing that crossed my mind from the pictures alone was: have you seen the insurance prices on a Fiesta ST with a clean title?
A rebuilt FiST would have Progressive sending goons with cartoonish proportions out monthly to lift me by the ankles and shake until change fell out of my pockets.
Fiesta for me. I doubt the frame damage is that serious from the looks of things so I would probably straighten it as much as possible with a ratchet strap and a tree and then throw it back together and drive it as-is.
You convinced me to vote for the Land Rover.
But, I’m not happy about it.
I really, really have the hots for a FiST. Sadly, almost every one I’ve seen either had a salvage title or was way too pricey for me. This one’s a strict “no,” which hurts my little soul.
I’ve driven a Freelander, and it wasn’t the worst thing on the planet. So if it came down to one or the other — as it does in these Showdowns — I’d have to be a Rover Boy.
I’d take either over my current Snoozemobile, though.
I’m just here for the Expanse reference and the Freelander is also what I’d pick.
FOR BELTALOWDA
“It is, however, orders of magnitude cooler than a RAV4 of the same year.”
Disagree. A first gen 2-door soft top RAV-4 is at least as cool, if not cooler, without being a Rover.
I’ll have the Fiesta ST, because race car, with no intention of making it roadworthy again.
Pretty sure the Rav4 convertible was only a 98 and 99 thing, so by 2003 it was a 4 door lame crossover only. There was a second gen 2 door, but I think it was also dead by then.
Details details. I’d still rather have one of those.
Agreed.
The Rav 4 convertible was available from 96 MY.
Fun fact: later 1st gen Rav4 could be had with split 3 spoke wheels as well.
The 3 door was, the convertible was only 98-00 from everything I have seen. That’s also what Mercedes reported when doing the holy grail on it: https://www.theautopian.com/for-just-a-couple-of-years-you-could-get-a-toyota-rav4-with-three-doors-soft-top-and-manual-transmission-holy-grails/
Crap I thought the hard top ones were convertibles as well. I stand corrected
A lot had removable panels front and rear, but no. Toyota offered the Rav4 in 3 very distinct bodies for the first gen. The 90s were awesome!
I’d rather deal with the CEL issues (likely first of many) on that Rover before getting into frame straightening.
I like the 2-door Freelander more than I should, especially in yellow. This one isn’t yellow, but the blue is still a nice color
If frame-straightening doesn’t involve chaining one side to a bulldozer and yanking the other side with a semi tractor, I got nuthin’ : had to vote for teh Freelander
Ah yes, I see you are also a person of culture. Personally I said a ratchet strap and a tree.
Freelander, but only barely. If the Fiesta was missing fewer body panels I might go for it, but I don’t feel like fixing crash damage given all the other projects I’m currently working on.
It’s wild the LR is winning. Even Jeep’s and Fiat’s have years they weren’t “bad”.
The best LR is somewhat similar to the worst of either or.
Just absurd.
The nice thing w LRs is that attrition takes the worst of them so the used market of operable ones as time goes on tends to be better and better.
Does the Fiesta ad have any pics of the passenger side? I wonder if anything is out of alignment on that side that would clue is in to the extent of the chassis damage. I would almost have it just for the drivetrain for a future engine swap project, but not at $3400. Loved The Expanse too, btw
That’d be an awesome drivetrain to plop into a Mazda2 (The Fiesta’s platform-mate)
Absolutely. Or I guess a Mazda based Yaris, too, for that matter. I was thinking crazy though, like a rear engine Aerostar.
That’d be a hell of a build. I personally like the Fiesta more as a package for what it is with the practicality and handling combo, so I’d probably just build a sleeper Mazda2 or Yaris with all the go-fast bits pulled straight from the FiST including suspension, exhaust and Recaro seats as a straight bolt-on.
That Freelander has a fun, carefree vibe completely unseen by any vehicle made since it went out of production. Easy win for the Freelander.
I’ll take the British pain-in-the-ass over the American money pit.
Loved The Expanse, but hadn’t thought about it much since I finished all the books and the series ended and we didn’t get the movie covering the last (best) books. Without your explanation I was thinking Jim Holden was some guy that founded an Australian car company.
I would immediately look for another Freelander. I will need all the parts and a donor engine.
Both will inflict agony, but only the Fiesta promises ecstasy. Fix Or Repair Damage!
FiST me baby!
Damnit Mark you made me choose the Land Rover. The look of it has aged well imo. Glad to see your taste in television is as good as it is in music
3 spokes, a real color and a funky roof? I’ll start buying LR specific tooling now, because I’m gonna need it.
Loved The Expanse. Drummer is such an OG. My wife and I nicknamed Amos “Space Kyle”. I’ve got all the print and audiobooks but sadly haven’t had time to read them :(.
I’ve read the first five books. They’re excellent as well. And it’s surprising how closely the show stuck to them; mostly the same stuff happens, just in a slightly different order. And yes, Drummer is a badass.
I’ve read all the books and the novellas and loved them. The TV adaptation was really well done, enough so that when I was reading the final novels after the show came out I was seeing the actors in my head. The books went a bit further into the future than the TV show and all the characters were old in the last book, which leaves me hopeful they’ll bring the show back after 10-20 years for a few more seasons to act out those stories.
I’m getting Twin Peaks vibes
That Freelander wins me over in the looks department far more than the Fiesta would even if it was non-smashed. Would I rely on it as a daily driver? Probably not, but it’d make for a stellar weekend runabout.
Except that you would be spending your weekends fixing it! 😉