Good morning! It’s a new week, and a new month, which means a whole new chance to make terrible automotive decisions. And boy oh boy, do we have a couple of bad decisions today. You think dating that actress back in college was a bad move? She’s got nothing on these two.
On Friday, we looked at two cars that were equally dull, and as I expected, you preferred the one that’s easier to make less dull. Because of the Mustang connection and its Lego-like parts availability, that fleet-special Fairmont could be as wild as you’d like it to be. Lots of you mentioned a 302/5-speed swap, and I like that idea – especially if you leave the outside exactly as it is.
But I know me, and modifying cars just isn’t something I do. I like to think about it, but I rarely have the gumption to actually get around to doing it. As they sit, both of these cars are as dull as a PowerPoint presentation about laundry detergent, but the Mazda is a much better put-together car. So I’d probably take that one, and plan – but never actually do – a manual swap.
Life is full of uncertainty, and you can never really tell how something is going to turn out. But sometimes you can look at something and you just know, no matter how appealing it may seem, that it’s a bad idea: Giving a tiger an unsolicited nose boop, for instance, or going to that $4.99 all-you-can-eat seafood buffet at the casino. Think seriously about doing something like that, and if you have any sanity at all, alarms start going off in your head.
But we’re talking about cars here, and when it comes to cars, a lot of us just plain don’t have any sanity. We can convince ourselves that anything is a good idea, with enough circular logic and wishful thinking. So with that in mind, here are two truly terrible ideas, and I’m going to make you pick one.
2003 Land Rover Freelander – $3,000
Engine/drivetrain: 2.5 liter dual overhead cam V6, five-speed automatic, 4WD
Location: Carbondale, CO
Odometer reading: 77,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives, but check-engine light is on
What is it with brands famous for four-wheel-drive vehicles changing ownership? Much like Jeep, Land Rover as a company has had more parents than Jim Holden. (C’mon, don’t leave me hanging; I can’t be the only Expanse fan here.) The Freelander was introduced under BMW’s stewardship, but by the time this 2003 model was built, Land Rover was owned by Ford.
The engine, however, comes from neither of those companies – it dates all the way back to the Rover days, a 2.5 liter V6, driving all four wheels through a five-speed automatic. The Freelander got a lot of grief on introduction for not being a “real Land Rover,” lacking a dual-range transfer case and solid axles, but it wasn’t really meant to be, either. It’s more of a “soft-roader,” like Ford’s Bronco Sport. But the Freelander comes from an earlier, cooler time, when small crossover SUVs were still available with two doors and a removable top.
It runs and drives, the seller says, but the Check Engine light is currently on. The seller also says they’ve spent a lot of money and had a lot of work done. It sounds like maybe they’re just done with it, which unfortunately happens a lot to Land Rovers of all shapes and sizes. Anecdotes aren’t data, of course, but the reviews of 2003 Freelanders on Carsurvey are eye-opening. A nice reliable RAV4, this is not.
It is, however, orders of magnitude cooler than a RAV4 of the same year. The back of the top comes off, leaving only that exoskeletal roll cage (which may or may not do any good in an actual rollover). And split three-spoke wheels need to make a comeback. They just do.
2014 Ford Fiesta ST – $3,400
Engine/drivetrain: Turbocharged 1.6 liter dual overhead cam inline 4, six-speed manual, FWD
Location: A ways east of El Cajon, CA
Odometer reading: 26,000 miles
Operational status: Started and ran when purchased, not sure about now
Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace are dangerous to browse. I don’t care who you are or what your preferred vehicle type is, if you look hard enough, you will find something that calls to you – usually just outside your price range. That’s where Copart comes in. There you will find much cheaper, slightly damaged cars up for auction, ready for you to fix up and enjoy. Or, sometimes, start to fix up, realize they’re in worse shape than you thought, give up, and sell on.
This Ford Fiesta ST – the very definition of a “hot hatch” – came from a Copart auction five years ago. The seller got all the parts to fix it, started disassembling it, and discovered the frame is bent. It apparently ran and moved under its own power when purchased, and the damage seemed cosmetic, but as it turns out it’s a bit more serious than that. From the sound of it, it’s still fixable, but it’s outside the seller’s skills.
Just in case you’ve been living under a rock, the ST was the fast version of Ford’s little Fiesta, equipped with a 1.6 liter EcoBoost four-cylinder and a six-speed manual. It also has stiffer suspension, fatter tires, and these sweet Recaro seats. In other words, it’s a desirable car – if not for the crunched nose.
It’s hard to say what it would take to put this car back on the road. I’ve seen some skilled body folks perform minor miracles on cars way worse than this, but is it worth it? It looks like average Fiesta STs are changing hands for around eight grand, so if you can do the frame work and paint it yourself, this car is a bargain. If you don’t work at a body shop, maybe not so much.
Logic isn’t always the motivating factor when it comes to car purchases, and thank goodness – if it were, we’d all be driving Camry hybrids. But there are times when you have to put the brakes on a truly ill-advised purchase, like a catastrophically unreliable British SUV or a crunched fast Ford. You, however, for the purposes of this exercise, don’t have the luxury of walking away from both of these; you must choose. Which will it be?
(Image credits: Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace sellers)
Rarely do I look at the options and say hard pass on both, but today is one of those days. There’s just no up side to either one of these.
That Land Rover is not only unreliable, it’s ugly as sin (at least to my eyes). Too much so for me to take it on even as a goofy oddball thing to drive around on the rare occasions when it actually worked. Have to go with the idea of parting out the Fiesta and at least getting the purchase price back.
Ooof! Both are bad, real bad. I would take the Freelander only because it might be fun for a while. The party is over for that Fiesta. A bad enough accident to bend the frame and do whatever else damage. Probably was already totaled out by insurance and of course it’s got the salvage title.
Even with a really good body shop, you probably won’t get that frame fully straight. And even if you get close, you would have to sort through the other issues that resulted from the collision. Plus, I know the greater San Diego area and I’m not interested in heading out past Methville to look at it.
Should be a both option here as I’d love to put that Eco boost, manual, and seats into the SE3
That LR is repellent to me in every way, so I’ll go with the overpriced Fiesta. Probably worth it for a part out/transplant parts into a cheap SE. Never drove one, but had a Focus ST and really liked it.
If I could get the FiST for 1/3 the asking, then you should be able to part it out at a profit. When the Freeloader is down to $500, I’ll take it to a Gambler 500.
Speaking as the irrationally happy and vocal owner of a Fiesta ST: I think the FiST is amazing and it gives me the giggles every time I drive it. Also, despite the reputation of Ford having quality as job, well, something, mine has been perfect since purchasing it new six years ago. I don’t think any car I’ve owned has given me the smiles per mile of the FiST.
So I came in all set to vote for the Fiesta, because even if it wasn’t streetable it might be fixable to make a great track toy. Alas, the frame is bent so all bets are off. Despite its flaws the Freelander simply has to be the better choice. At least you can enjoy some motoring with the back off on the rare days it decides to work.
I would’ve voted for the Fiesta as it is so close from the border and any decent body shop in TJ can fix the frame and tackle all those trim pieces missing for a fraction of what it’d cost in CA.
The elephant in the room is, the engine bay is suspicious. Low on coolant, no air box, and all those wires hanging. That timing belt is also 10 years old and the oil and every other fluid are at least half that old. All in it’s going to cost a lot to put this puppy back on the road and I’d rather have nothing to do with those chores.
Freelander this time
Yeah, I was looking at those wiring harnesses and trying to figure out what was missing or different. Something weird.
But hey, you get that garden hoe that is apparently holding the hood open.
It may not be reliable, but I’ll go with the Freelander. It’s like the irresponsible child of an old Pathfinder and an Isuzu Rodeo Sport. I don’t have a frame-straightener, so the Fiesta will never be as good as I’d like.
As much as I love the Fiesta ST, at least the Land Rover is in one piece with a supposedly straight frame.
Fiesta. Even if it won’t drive 100% straight again, it’s still a better option than any old Land Rover by 1000 miles.
This entry needs a third button for “both” to combine the the two… Which is what I’d do. In the meantime, I chose the Land Rover.
I’m pretty sure the Check Engine light in every Freeelander was just wired to turn on whenever the ignition is turned on.
When a wrecked Fiesta is the best option, we have finally reached peak Shitbox.
Last I checked, those Recaro seats on the Fiesta go for around $2k…
That’s absurd. Now I want them. 😉
Judging from the stain on the FiST’s driver’s seat, there were multiple accidents that happened during that crash.
I had the same thought.
Going back to the days of half-assed younger me that did not think things thru, I’d be all over that strange Rover. I’d be like, wow, looks kinda like a Ford but lookit that British influence! Gonna make me look sophisticated! Take my money!
Then I’d walk a lot when it repeatedly shits the bed.
I’m far enough outside the FiST tuner culture to have no idea where else that motor might fit, so I have to choose the Freelander and plan to use it gently. So gently that I’d need a budget for flatbed hauling to and from whatever low speed areas I’m going to drive it in.
I’m here for the Expanse. Always eagerly seeking more/similar content.
that engine was optional on contemporary Escapes and Fusions. The later could also be had with the 6 spd manual, but they are super hard to find and only sold in 2013-2014
It should bolt up to a Mazda 2, along with the Fiesta’s sport shocks and seats.
Really embracing the chaos with this one, what a way to start the week lol. Voting for the blue money pit, at least it’ll look cool on the flatbed when it inevitably breaks down (again) 🙂
Expanse is terrific!
(And I’ll take the Freelander).
Wow decisions to make. Slam hands in door or bash head against wall. These two are guaranteed to make your wallet bleed and your regret flow.
Wow. I feel like its been years since I’ve seen a Freelander around here. And when they were new I saw a decent amount. Most I assume must have gone to the crusher by now.
I worked for a guy who bought a Bentley. It needed constant service. The dealer also sold Land Rovers. One weekend the Bentley went into the shop and the loaner was a red Freelander. My boss thought it was kind of cool. He changed his mind when it broke down. A month later the same thing happened again. The following month (when I took the Bentley in for its monthly $1,000+ repair) they handed me a familiar Land Rover key. I told the service manager I would be driving literally any other car the dealership owned. He explained it was the last loaner. I explained my boss’ car was one of their best golden geese and if they wanted us to keep coming back every month for more repairs they needed to find something.
I ended up in a brand new Passat and my boss ended up in a Lexus shortly after.
I would take a broken Fiesta over a brand-new Freelander.
Neither make sense for a normal thinking person.
Fiesta ST for me, my current winter and rainy day driver is a 2014 Fiesta SE 5 speed in metallic black. If this wasn’t the other side of somebody else’s country my wife would be considering shooting me about now over my new parts car.
Hmm. A once desirable hot hatch that envies Richard III’s scoliosis, or a Braveheart blue land stroller that no one ever wanted. In the immortal – and completely imaginary – words of William Wallace, “ … they may take our wives, but they’ll never take our Freelanders!” Or something like that, anyway. Land Rover for a glorious fail.
First I nodded, then I grinned, then I laughed.
thanks, man 🙂
You know it’s a REAL shitbox showdown when a Freelander is the best option.