It’s that time again; brace yourselves for another pair of crappy cars! Today’s contestants both come from southern California, and both have straight sixes that run, though you’d never guess it from the photos. Before we dive into them, let’s see the final tally of our green machines from yesterday:
It looks like fewer miles beats fewer doors, as the 626 takes a comfortable win.
Now, very quickly, before we move on: Some eagle-eyed readers commented that I made a typo in yesterday’s poll. It’s the very last thing I type up each night, usually around 10 pm, right about the time our two six-month-old kittens get the “evening zoomies,” so the typo may very well have been because I was shooing them off my laptop, or rescuing some fragile piece of home decor from their furry little clutches. Reader Duke of Kent said all would be forgiven if I posted a photo of the kittens, so here they are, peeking out of a laundry basket: our two little troublemakers Spooky (left) and Creepy.
All right, back to the cars. Today’s contestants both have stories to tell, and neither one has a happy ending. But somehow, through it all, both still run, and that’s a good first step to any project. Let’s take a look.
1976 AMC Pacer X – $4,500
Engine/drivetrain: 232 or 258 cubic inch overhead valve inline 6, three-speed manual, RWD
Location: El Cajon, CA
Odometer reading: 101,000 miles
Runs/drives? Runs, but not exactly roadworthy
The AMC Pacer, as one of the better-known flops of the 1970s, needs no introduction. A grandiose design done in by budget cuts, the Pacer wasn’t what AMC intended, but the small company had too much money tied up in the project to back out. The result was a funny-looking car that didn’t deliver on any of its design promises, but sold all right anyway: AMC moved 280,000 of these things over five years, nothing compared to Big Three numbers, but not too shabby for the scrappy company from Kenosha.
This Pacer is the sporty X model, equipped with a three-speed floor-shifted manual. The seller says it was their weekend cruiser, stored in a warehouse, until disaster struck: the warehouse caught fire. The Pacer was damaged, but survived; it has some smoke and soot damage, mostly contained to the outside, but the driver’s seat and headliner got it a little bit (if I had to guess, the driver’s side window was down). The paint is scorched, some of the exterior plastics are melted, and the windshield is broken from the thermal shock of the fire hoses. But all in all, it looks like a remarkably lucky escape for this car.
The Pacer’s forward-opening hood was supposed to conceal a Wankel rotary engine, supplied by General Motors, before GM canceled the program and left AMC high and dry. Instead, the Pacer was powered by AMC’s inline six, in either 232 of 258 cubic inch displacements. The seller doesn’t specify which one this is, but they do say it runs fine. Of course, it isn’t driveable, with the windshield and lights like this.
I think I’d be tempted to clean up the soot where necessary, get the smoke smell out, and drive it how it is. It would be a conversation-starter, for sure.
1965 Ford Ranchero – $2,500
Engine/drivetrain: 170 or 200 cubic inch overhead valve inline 6, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Lakeside, CA
Odometer reading: 103,000 miles
Runs/drives? Runs, exact level of roadworthiness unknown
When Ford introduced the compact Falcon in 1960, the lineup included a car-based truck, or “ute,” called the Ranchero. The Ranchero wasn’t new; it had previously been part of Ford’s larger Fairlane line. In 1966 it would return to that size, but for the early 1960s it was this cute little thing.
This Falcon Ranchero, like most of them, features Ford’s good old inline six. This one has been recently replaced, but its condition, and displacement, aren’t specified. All we’re told is that it runs, and the automatic transmission works.
This Ranchero was the property and project of the seller’s father, who has passed away, leaving it unfinished. The seller is hoping someone wants to pick up where their dad left off, and finish it up. There is some work to be done: the interior is a mess, and what paint there is is either sun-baked or primer (or both). But the good news is that it’s complete, straight, and not rusted out. It is kinda sad seeing the old man’s cane and handicapped parking permit still in the car; you might ask if the seller wants to keep them.
Rusty utes are something of an institution around here, as most of you know. This little Ford is almost too nice for us, actually. Too easy. It would make a good project for someone, though, and depending on the condition of the brakes and whatnot, you might even be able to drive it home.
Either one of these would take some work to put back into service, but both look like worthy projects, and totally manageable. So what’ll it be: the extra-crispy fishbowl, or the orphaned ute?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
I’ll put all my huevos in the ranchero basket.
Pacer, but only at half the asking. Gut the interior and clean everything fully before putting it back in (replacing anything too far gone as cheaply as possible). Take a sander to the paint to metal, and cheap maaco it. Done. Drive it to the end of time with nothing more than, brakes, tires, oil changes and tuneups.
Just “Gut the interior and clean everything fully before putting it back in (replacing anything too far gone as cheaply as possible). Take a sander to the paint to metal, and cheap maaco it. Done. Drive it to the end of time with nothing more than, brakes, tires, oil changes and tuneups.”
At the end you would have a Pacer.
Is it me, or does the Ranchero looked chopped? The greenhouse seems — smaller?
Anyway, the opportunity to recreate Project Cactus is just too enticing. +1 for the Ford.
You’re a cool guy, Tucker.
https://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/thumbs_up_cat.gif
Take good care of those kitties.
That Pacer; heard of the ‘murdered’ look, this one is ‘Pig Penned’ (is that a thing?)
Vote goes to Ranchero
That front view of the Pacer makes it look like the villain from an even malaise-ier sequel to The Car.
My first reaction too!! This is what Cars 2 would’ve had if they would have gone DC Comics instead of James Bond.
Good grief, this pair almost makes me wish for a K-car. ALMOST. I picked Ranchero because the name is closer to Canyonero than Pacer.
How is the pacer not running away with this? Amc straight six awesomeness, backed with a stick, and one hell of a story! The other is a rusty, tired ford.
This is a tough one! I love Falcons and their derivatives, but I also unironically love me some Pacers. The Pacer was so ahead of its time and so innovative that I ended up voting for the Toasty Mad-Max-looking Pacer. The engine bay and most of the interior look great, although I’m sure the smoke smell is overpowering. I’d clean up the interior as much as possible and leave the outside looking toasted, and then try to get a gig advertising for Cheba Hut.
I know it’s a terrible idea and overpriced as hell but I can’t help but love the funky roast patina.
Gotta pick the Raunchero. Even if it looks like a David Tracy project, I do know Falcons can survive just about anything this side of a 50-megaton direct hit and continue to function.
The Pacer’s seller is about ten times too high on the ask. It will smell of fire until the day it’s melted down to become part of a new Toyota, and maybe after that. If it weren’t for the damage, it might be worth considering. Some weird quirk makes me want an LS-swapped Pacer, but this one isn’t worth the effort. Fried cars never are. Not feelin’ the burn here.
Here in Indiana you’ll probably see more AMC Pacers than anywhere else due to the NBA team. There’s one in my town with tasteful blue/yellow paint. They look a lot cooler now than they did new.
I never thought about that. I wonder if there are a lot of Kia Sedonas in Sedona, AZ or Toyota Tacomas in Tacoma, WA… or Buick Rivieras along the French Riviera.
I think I’ve only ever seen one, but maybe there’s more Chrysler New Yorkers in New York?
I know I’ve wanted one just because I thought it’d be a funny joke.
$4500 for a Pacer parts car?!?! Every plastic wiring terminal and all the plastic wrapped wiring harnesses will need to be replaced or you’ll be fighting shorts constantly, potentially leading to starting it’s own fire. The interior needs to be gutted, unless you love the smell of napalm in the morning. You’ll need a second car with an intact windshield anyway, so just buy one that is in better shape than this.
A Falcon-based Rancho, on the other hand, can accept a whole host of classic Mustang parts and be restored or retro-modded to your hearts content.
Pace is cooler, but not 4500 cooler. Ranchero takes this one.
Love the Voids! Autopian staff pets article when?
Tangential thought- what is the perfect pet for DT?
DT pet has to be a junkyard dog, like the one from Stand by Me.
“Sick balls!”
They’re called that because they live in junkyards, they can’t eat rust.
Tarantula or that woodchuck thing that ate his car.
You’re killing me with these no-nos. As in, no to the first one, no to the second one.
You can try to fool me, but we all know that Pacer came out of a levee in California.
Since I have no desire to remake John Carpenter’s Christine with an AMC Pacer, I am going to have to vote for the Ranchero.
This proves my point from an earlier post this week about the “Someday Project”. You pass away before it gets completed and your kids sell it.
The Ranchero has a salvage title (which can be an important factor) but I’m still leaning in its direction because it’s as simple as a claw hammer and just as useful. I would be tempted to leave the exterior as-is and just re-do the interior. Okay, throw on some good tires and clean up the exterior trim, but that would be all.
The Pacer would probably always smell of smoke, unless the seat padding and the carpets were replaced. OTOH I do appreciate that the headliner is hosed but the dome light still works.
Comparatively low production numbers make the Pacer relatively rare.
The fire damage makes this Pacer medium rare.
I’ll see myself out…
Medium rare because the Pacer was never well done?
“You… complete me.”
I always like the styling of the Pacer. It’s too bad they were screwed together with a spatula.
I remember and hated Pacers when they were new. I would turn down a free Pacer and I would be tempted to turn down a free Pacer and $4500.
Ya know what?: I’m going for the ThunderDome Pacer.
It’s perfect for running the last cobblestone streets in downtown NYC (though I’m not living there right now). Me and my pal could whistle around to all our favorite places attacking any pothole that got in our way. I’d leave this beast @ the curb with full knowledge that any real thief would be afraid to break in.
Hell, I wouldn’t even lock it.
You’re right that it probably wouldn’t get broken into. It may be hauled away as trash, though.
Cant say i’m surprised by the votes.The ugly shitbox is as bad as the ranchero is good
Is this a test to see how many trolls there are on the site? Or maybe number of bots?
I’m sure there’s someone out there with enough of a soft-spot for that Pacer to rescue it (probably not at that asking price, but regardless) but no one in their right mind is paying double the price of the Ranchero for a fire-damaged Pacer. And even if the prices were the same, when you’re done fixing up the Ranchero you have a Ranchero, which *Literally* anyone would want more than a Pacer (maybe not literally. Maybe a Ranchero tried to murder your family and a Pacer saved them, idk. That’s the only scenario I cant think of).
Ranchero all day. Pretty unlikely that the six in it is a 170, those were kind of rare on the ground about 10-20 years ago. One that’s been “recently” replaced is very likely a 200.
I’ll usually vote for a hatchback no matter how dubious, but having been in a fire is a step too far.
Ranchero please! Dripping with Roadkill ..