Buying a new-to-you car can be fun and exciting. Registering a new-to-you car? Well, that can be not-so-fun. Spending seemingly all day in line at the DMV is a hassle when you have real stuff like a job that would be a better use of time. In theory, long waits should’ve been fixed when DMVs opened up online appointment booking, but greed has reportedly helped ruin that in Miami-Dade.
In Florida, it’s actually state law that you need to make an appointment to visit certain Department of Motor Vehicles branches, which sounds like a sensible move to limit crowding and enhance efficiency. However, in recent years, the Florida DMV has encountered a serious quantity of illegitimate appointments. In 2023, the agency told CBS News that it cancels roughly 1,000 bad-faith appointments every day
So what’s behind this appointment-booking interference? Is it overworked clerks trying to slow things down? Probably not. Actually, many of these questionable appointments result in a sort of concert ticket situation. As per CBS News:
Miami-Dade County Tax Collector Dariel Fernandez said his office found a network of scalpers who hoard the free appointments and sell them for a profit. His office said the scalpers get the time slots through the online appointment system, utilizing bots, fake accounts and other means to secure them.
The appointments are then sold for anywhere between $25 and $250.
Wow. I guess greedy motherfuckers really will scalp anything, huh? Paying a third party up to $250 just to get a good spot in line at the DMV seems egregious, and it shouldn’t even be an option, considering how some people need to fit specific times and dates into their work schedule. Plus, going to the DMV already sucks, we don’t need scalpers making it even worse.
Crazier still, apparently it’s not illegal to scalp DMV appointments – but that might soon change in Miami-Dade. A new ordinance cracking down on the practice has passed its first reading, and will officially become law when it passes its second reading on April 1. As county tax collector Dariel Fernandez told NBC 6, “The ordinance says if you do this, you are going to have $500 in fines or 60 days in jail.”
While up to 60 days in jail sounds like a lot, many laws exist because a small handful of people were behaving unethically and making life worse for everyone else. If this ordinance passes, it seems unlikely that prosecutors will often hand out maximum sentences, but they’d be on the table for the most egregious offenders. Given the purported prevalence of this DMV appointment scalping problem, some sort of amendment to curb this behavior seems overdue. Let’s see what happens on April 1.
Top graphic image: Google Streetview
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Minor correction: you can handle vehicle registration and tag issues at various tax collectors offices or independent tag agencies – no need to go to the DMV or even make an appointment anywhere as most places offer walk up service.
I *want* to ask why the “fine” half of a punishment always seems far, far gentler than the “prison time” half. But deep down I know the answer.
I’ll tell you what will happen: poor, working class stiffs who have had no fucking choice but to buy appointments from these scalper scum, because there is now no other way, will be prosecuted, and the scalpers will get away scot-free. Over and over again.