This week, as you may have heard, I’ve been left all alone running the site. I’m happy to do it! Everyone needs breaks, and at some point I’ll need a bit off as well. Of course, there’s this expectation that I’m just gonna go clamshit superbonkers without anyone to watch me, and while I’d deeply love to, the truth is that mostly I’m scrambling to get enough good stories on the site! I have great writers and contributors, as you know, so I’m deeply fortunate there, but it’s still, you know, work. But, right now, I need some quick content, and I’m tired of being all rational and responsible so, fuck it, we’re doing a car haiku quiz!
I did some of these years and years ago at the Old Site, and there’s always something oddly soothing about writing these. Here’s how it works: I’ve written, let’s see, six haikus, and each one is about a specific car. If you want an example, I put one in the top image, about the Subaru 360.
So, read the haikus and take a guess! I suggest yelling your answer, loudly, after reading each one, especially if you’re in an office or coffee shop or something. Really bellow it out! Or, you can put your guesses in the comments.
I’ll put the answers down below, but no sneaky looking before! Play by the rules! Make your guesses, put them in the comments/yell them, then check! We all cool with that? Good.
Okay, here they are, all following the traditional haiku five syllable/seven syllable/five syllable format. I’ve tried to not make them too hard, and I think all the cars are reasonably well-known. Have at it:
1.
Corrugated look
Like a shed and just as fast
French food truck icon
2.
Brit charm’s Last vestige
Framed like a house, all wooden
Somehow still around
3.
Looks almost modern
Powered by Hamentaschen
Ahead of its time
4.
Named like the space probe
With the seats that stow, and go
Bet your mom had one
5.
Once, it was Morris
Then they took over Delhi
Big wigs sat in back
6.
Named for a ticket
Why’s the radio like that?
Does anyone like these?
Okay, got it? After you tell us your guesses in the comments, you can click here for the answers. You’ve earned it.
1: Citroen 2CV vanette, or whatever they called it. 2CV in front, and a box made of thin, ribbed sheetmetal in back.
2: A Morgan I presume, though no idea which specific one. Weren’t they partly framed of ash?
3: I have no idea. Isn’t hamentashen a three-sided cookie you get at Passover? Or is that just hamentash?
4: Too easy: Voyager. I’d have expected you to use a Star Trek reference for that one Jason! V-Ger or something.
5: Again, I’m stumped. My knowledge of historic British marques isn’t nearly as encyclopedic as it should be.
6: What car is named ‘for a ticket.’ Was there a Diahatsu Summons that I don’t know about? A Passport isn’t a ticket. Plus, a weird radio? I LIKE odd electronics, but I can’t recall a car known for having an odd radio, let alone one named a synonym for ticket.
OK, I’m posting my feeble guesses. Then I’ll go look at the answers and kick myself a bit. 😉
Added later: even if I give myself a half point for #1, I still fared poorly. Guess I should have known a hamentoshen is Yiddish slang for Dorito (in rotary engines).
Got the h van, the voyager and the Hindustan….
Born to go race
Once the fastest four door
Now very expensive
In rust we trusted
Everything was so busted
Down under we go
It comes with four cats
Watch out for Nazi attacks
And Jesus did weep
Holy grail Jeep
The easiest part was about the Citation’s radio! And no, no one liked these (My friend in high school painted his to look like a cow)
Mazda made a few
Will do what you need it to
It rhymes with danger
Ford Fuckin’ Ranger!
I believe that’s the proper way to pronounce it.
A dead brand rebadge
Factory workers rejoice
Also a sex toy
Nobody?
A luxury brand
Three vowels three consonants
Can cross continents
C’mon this one should be easy.
Jaguar?
Unimog. Not descriptive enough.