Good morning, Autopians! It’s Friday, thank goodness. I was planning to eschew our weekly four-way roundup in favor of another pair of cars; Mercedes posted a car to our Slack channel the other day that’s so awful I can’t not feature it. But I couldn’t find an equally-awful competitor to it on short notice (yes, it’s really that bad), so I’ll look for something over the weekend and show it to you next week.
In the meantime, we’re giving the week’s losers another try, and for yesterday’s vote, that meant the derelict Mazda RX-7. It wasn’t a complete blowout, but it was a decisive win for the Infiniti. Personally, I don’t see the appeal; it caught my eye enough to write about, but I certainly wouldn’t spend money on the damn thing.
I would, however, very much like to own an RX-7 someday, and the FC generation is my favorite. This one is a little expensive for the condition it’s in, especially with the dinged title, but maybe someday I’ll stumble across the perfect specimen for the right price. When I do, you can be damned sure I’m keeping the rotary engine in it. It’s what makes the RX-7 special; why would you swap it for some ordinary piston engine?
I’m sure by now you’ve all read about our co-founder Beau Boeckmann’s latest acquisition: the legendary, and spectacular, Uncertain-T. It’s sure to become the crown jewel of an astonishing collection of famous hot rods, a collection which I have had the honor of seeing myself, briefly. The Uncertain-T was hidden away from the public for fifty years, patiently waiting for its time in the spotlight to come again.
Newly-uncovered cars are nothing new in the car world, of course; there are even books and TV series on the subject now. Every rusted-out piece of crap on Craigslist claims to be a “barn find” these days. But once in a while, someone comes across something really special, squirreled away in someone’s garage or barn. But what about fifty years from now? Will old forgotten cars still hold the same appeal?
That’s our thought experiment for today. It’s 2074. Gasoline is a distant memory. Most cars are electric, but a few enthusiasts cling to their internal-combustion engines, powered by a biofuel made from, let’s say, seaweed and dandelions. Any older engine can be easily adapted to run on this stuff, so you can party like it’s 1999 – as long as you fill out all the required forms, pay the exorbitant fees, and register the car as an environmental hazard. One day, you come across an estate sale, in which four old cars have been found in a barn – these four cars, in fact – in roughly the same condition they’re in now. You have the opportunity to purchase one of them.
1984 BMW 325e
BMW’s place in automotive history is not in doubt, despite its best efforts to sabotage it recently. “The Ultimate Driving Machine” will be the stuff of legends, long after cars are even more soulless appliances than they are now, and all the cool cars are banished to a country place no one knows about. Will anyone, in those days to come, know or care that this wasn’t the “cool” BMW?
Yes, the interior is toast, and the paint is shot. Yes, it has a weak engine and an automatic transmission. But it’s still the iconic E30 shape, with the proper number of doors, and the classic inline six. I think, despite the low-revving “eta” engine, this would make a hell of a barn find in the future.
1994 Dodge Shadow ES
The great titans of industry, for better or worse, are enshrined in our collective unconscious. It is impossible now, and will be in the future, to discuss the American auto industry in the late 20th century without mentioning Lee Iacocca. Without his leadership, Chrysler Corporation may not have survived the 1980s, and this car wouldn’t exist.
Whether or not you think that would be a bad thing depends on your feelings about the humble K-car and its variants. But like it or not, Iacocca’s K platform is historically (and culturally) important, and good examples of cars based on it are coming into their own as bona-fide classics. And this one, as a high-end example of its line, with a desirable manual transmission, would make a good collector’s item.
2002 Pontiac Bonneville SLE
A hundred years ago, there were hundreds of automobile brands. General Motors alone had dozens of nameplates, some bought, some newly created. Pontiac came into being in 1926, as a companion brand to Oakland, a car company bought out by GM in 1909. Pontiac met its demise in 2010 in the restructuring fallout from GM’s 2009 bankruptcy. Its cars are already becoming the stuff of legend; I have no doubt that will continue in the future.
This particular Pontiac is powered by another GM legend: the Buick-derived 3800 V6. It might never be as famous as the Chevy small-block, but this engine’s place in the history books is not in doubt. I think a 3800-powered Pontiac will suffice to make any future GM fan geek out.
1987 Mazda RX-7 GXL
And speaking of famous engines, Mazda’s rotary, now fifty years old itself, won’t fade into oblivion any time soon. Many car companies dabbled with Felix Wankel‘s spinning-triangle engine design, but only Mazda picked it up and ran with it. Its most well-known application of this engine was the RX-7, which delighted driving enthusiasts for more than two decades over three generations.
This RX-7 already looks like a barn find, and I think the commenters who thought it originally hailed from the desert Southwest are probably right. At least it doesn’t have any rust. A car in this condition would be near-impossible to restore properly in the future; it would be hard enough now. But who knows? Maybe 3D printing, or some as-yet unknown technology, will provide replacements.
So there they are: your future barn finds in the year 2074. The robot auctioneer is ready to accept your credits. Which one are you bidding on?
(Image credits: Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace sellers)
The Shadow is the only one of the four that isn’t either hopeless or pointless in this scenario.
OK, going with the premise that we’re looking way into the future, and therefore parts for any of these will require some sort of currently unknown 3-D printing type of fabrication, I’m going with the Mazda, slightly edging out the BMW. The two GM cars would be better to grab now and drive, but there’s nothing notable about them. The Bimmer represents the car that suddenly made the company synonymous with shallow, junior-level social climbers. (You could display the car along with video clips of the insufferable yuppies on the Newhart show talking about “taking the Beemer”.) The RX-7 is cooler, though, and the Wankel makes it very notable. Once accurately restored, it would also be way more fun to drive than the Bimmer.
If I’m jumping through hoops to drive some clapped out old dino-burner, it would have to be interesting. I guess RX-7 (Shadow is second).
RX-7. In all four cases you’re fabbing parts from scratch. I’d choose the carbureted one but they’re all fuel-injected. If I’m tending to a fussy weird biobutanol-burner, it’ll have to be the cool weird one with the low-parts-count engine.
Two of these I voted for and another would have had my vote this week if not for rust. I voted Mazda. It would undoubtedly be the most interesting car in 2074 and if the looks have held up for 40+ years, another 50 shouldn’t’ be a problem. I like the E30, just not that E30. Wish I could find some of that flower fuel now.
Never for a Dodge K or P car in the future unless I’m being ironic. If I had the power to bring back one name from the past and get rid of one now it would probably be Pontiac. And I don’t think we’d really miss Chrysler if it had gone under in 80-81. It has just seemed like a dumpster fire that’s gotten kicked down the road in the decades since. Chrysler to Daimler to FCA to Stellantis..
Have to go with the Dodge. I don’t have a good reason for the choice. I like the RX-7 but I can’t imagine trying to fabricate parts for it or trying to find replacements in a society where a car like that would be even MORE rare.
Of these, the Dodge Shadow for me. It’s the lightest and with the manual, the most fun of the bunch.
In theory, the RX7 should be the most fun. But it’s not fun if it doesn’t run.
Sticking with the Mazda — the patina will look perfect in a “Last Of Us”-style dystopian future!
Sorry but at the price these are probably going to command I think I’ll see if I can find a Tesla 3.
The bonnie, because the 3.8 ought to fire right up, even in 2074.
Legend has it that when the truncated K-car design of the Shadow/Sundance was being worked up, Lee Iacocca was unsatisfied with the results and penned the basic shape of the rear end himself. True or not, it’s an interesting tidbit and underscores how personally invested Iacocca was in the success of the K-car variants and of Chrysler itself. The Shadow may not be as sophisticated as the other contenders, but it’s certainly the scrappy underdog, and with a manual it gets bonus points.
I’d prolly take the Mazda simply because I don’t have a rotary in my collection currently and it would be a learning experience for me. Growing as a mechanic is important no matter how old you are. Or even if you are, actually, dead.
Yup, condition wins this one.
This is a bit of a tough one, but given my past positive ownership of a Bonneville, I’m going with the Bonnie. The Shadow is a close second. That poor FC is just too far gone to compete with the others, and the BMW isn’t too far off from that.
I had the same 1-2, and 3-4 were also nopes for me.
Team Mazda here. Most interesting and most fun to drive after being sorted out.
As for parts and restoration, I’ll just have my Boston Dynamics 3-D printing, Chat GTP 53-enabled, auto-restoration and sentry guard-dog killbots print/replace/repair/polish as needed.
Then I’ll sit my cyborg-ass in the driver’s seat and fire-up my Walter Rohl CYBEX-implant program.
Fortunately the roads will be desolate thanks to the prevalence of the autonomous flying cars.
I voted for the BMW simply because of the reference to a particular Canadian band that I happen to be fond of.
I suspect the 3800 in that Bonnie might be the only one still running in 2074, though, including me.
Pretty sure I’m legally required to reference that song when discussing future barn finds.
Actually now I want to find some way to shoehorn the 3.8 into the BMW, just to upset people.
Put a blower in it. That will do the trick.
I want to vote for the rx7 but it would pr be too far gone for restoration by 2074. I reluctantly voted for the dodge.
For body/chassis, the RX-7 appeals to me most. But for engines, the 3.8L in the Bonneville is the best choice of the 4 for reliability/parts availability, but the I6 of the BMW seems like it would be the most fun.
If only a 3800 swap into the RX7 were an option…
Zoom-zoom. It just sounds like the future doesn’t it?
Super easy one today… that Shadow is a knock out in great condition. Perfect example of the 1990s.
Now that you have removed the title issues from the Mazda I’m ready to vote for it
I voted the Mazda, but I think it deserves to be donated to a local high school autoshop class for a graduating class’ attempt at recovery.
By 2074, you will need a dust pan and broom to collect the Bonneville. So that one is out.
Yeah, but it will still be running!
True, just not in the form of a Bonne.
It’s 2074, and I’m looking for something to draw a crowd at Radwood (which is inexplicably still going).
I’m bringing the Shadow. There will be only ONE!!! (Raises sword, gets hit by lightning)
It’s 2074, I am most certainly 100% unconditionally DEAD already.
RX-7 converted to as yet unknown propulsion source