This I took Latin in high school, with the idea that it would help set me up to learn any language. That’s not how it happened, as any of my college Italian professors can attest. Maybe the most important thing I learned was that Joaquin Phoenix made the wrong gesture to spare Russell Crowe’s life in the movie Gladiator, which came out while I was in highh school.
A thumbs-up, back in Roman days, indicated you wanted a gladiator killed, whereas a thumbs-down meant “put your sword in the ground.” The actor and director made the right choice, because it would be hilarious if Phoenix gave a goofy thumbs-up at that moment. It just wouldn’t work.
You know what also doesn’t work? All 14 Stellantis brands existing at once. It’s enough slices! The Chairman of Stellantis is out looking for a new CEO to replace The Morning Dump’s favorite Carlos Tavares, and the big question is: What to do with all these brands?
Tavares called this a “Darwinian period” in the automotive industry, and one way automakers survive is through cooperation. GM and Honda, for instance, teamed up on hydrogen fuel cells. No more! Honda is not planning to work with GM on this technology anymore. One place where GM and Honda teamed up is with the Prologue, which continues to be a great seller in the EV space.
Germany had an election and the big issue was the economy. Will a “Kenya coalition” help save Volkswagen?
It’s Not Clear Stellantis Saves Much By Absorbing Chrysler And Ram, So Europe Is Probably The Target
Was I attempting to be provocative when I wrote “Jeep” in the headline? Yeah, of course. If a CEO candidate goes to Stellantis Chairman John Elkann and says “My first order of business is to absorb Jeep into Citroën” that candidate is going to be defenestrated from the conference room without delay.
Jeep is the one brand out of all Stellantis brands that has a strong identity, the ability to charge high-ish prices for vehicles, and can keep the company solvent. Ram, too, is one of those brands, though there’s some logic to absorbing Ram back into Dodge.
I mention this because that’s the big question Elkann has for the next CEO, according to this report from Reuters:
A source familiar with Elkann’s thinking told Reuters that the topic was a priority, and that any applicant for chief executive without an idea about the brands “is not the right candidate.”
Of course not! Could you imagine showing up and getting the question and being like “Uhhhh… we should cut Simca.” Stellantis only has these brands because it’s the awkward tie-up of PSA (which was the awkward tie-up of Peugeot and Citroën/DS) and FCA (which was the awkward tie-up of Fiat’s too many brands and Chrysler’s too many brands). Oh, and Opel. I keep forgetting Opel. Am I sad that Oldsmobile and Mercury are gone? Of course. Are Ford and GM worse off because those brands are gone? Probably not.
Hard decisions will have to be made and it’s unlikely that most of those decisions will be at the expense of American brands. Why? As explained in the piece:
Jeep accounted for at least 15 percent of Stellantis’ global sales in 2024, according to Reuters calculations, and Chrysler and Dodge around 3 percent each.
“If I were to have a magic wand … I would probably say Jeep should absorb Chrysler and Ram should absorb Dodge,” said Erin Keating of research firm Cox Automotive.
“But you are not saving a ton of money,” she added, as the four “each have their own brand equity,” complement each other in terms of range and share the same dealers.
What do you really save by Jeep absorbing Chrysler? Not much, although a Jeep-branded minivan? That’s actually a great idea. I’d never once had the thought. I’ve always assumed Dodge would just absorb Chrysler and we’d get a “Caravan” back but, yeah, now that you mention it a Jeep minivan makes sense in the way that “Me espresso” makes sense. Syntaxtually it’s a mess. Emotionally it’s a winner.
If anything gets cut it’s European brands. Lancia makes one car. Citroën has a broader lineup, but why does Stellantis need an Opel, Citroen, DS, and Peugeot version of the same car? The answer is that they do not.
Renault is in the same market and is much more successful, partially because it has fewer than half the brands. We’ve done this exercise before, of course, and I still think Lancia and DS are the first to go. Sell Maserati. Alfa gets one high-end, Ferrari-derived sports car.
That’s it.
GM And Honda No Longer Co-Developing Hydrogen Fuel Cells
I will once again go on record saying that I do not understand hydrogen as a power source for passenger vehicles. It doesn’t work. Charging times for EVs will come down way faster than new hydrogen filling stations will go up. Maybe for heavy trucks, it’s a solution. Maybe.
Honda and GM are both car companies that harbor the illusion that people want to buy hydrogen-powered cars, though they were at least smart enough to divide the expense by working together. The new Honda CR-V e:FCEV, for instance, has a jointly developed system.
That is not going to be true for the next generation car, if there is such a thing, according to Automotive News:
Honda Motor Co. is ditching longtime partner General Motors to go solo in developing and manufacturing its own next-generation hydrogen fuel cell system, the latest sign of unwinding ties between the Japanese and American carmakers amid shifting auto alliances.
Honda announced its upcoming fuel cell system Feb. 19 at the International Hydrogen & Fuel Cell Expo in Tokyo. The setup achieves double the durability and triple the volumetric power density at half the cost of the current system developed with GM and produced in the U.S.
Honda said the greater power density, a measure of the amount of energy churned out per unit volume, allows the system to be more compact so it can fit flexibly into different layouts.
Honda, for its part, is attempting to work more with Nissan while GM is collaborating more with Hyundai.
The ID.4 Is Back In The Mix
There are some people who, now, would never buy a Tesla because of the association with Elon Musk. I tend to think many people don’t care or, at least, would be persuaded by a lower price to buy one.
My guess is that if sales look really low at Tesla this quarter, we’ll see Musk offer a truly phenomenal low price on a “cheap Tesla” that’ll get a trillion pre-orders. In the interim, perhaps the best measure of the growing competitiveness of non-Tesla automakers is the resurrection of the VW ID.4 and the continuing success of the Honda Prologue.
Based on registration data, EV sales were up almost 30% year-over-year in January as people worked quickly to take advantage of the IRA tax credit while it was still in effect, according to Cox Automotive:
January marked the tenth consecutive month with over 100,000 units sold. Following a record month in December, when U.S. EV sales reached the highest level ever, a month-over-month sales decline was expected. The top five selling models, ranked by sales volume, were the Tesla Model Y, Model 3, Volkswagen ID.4, Tesla Cybertruck, and Honda Prologue, together making up 54% of total EV sales for the month. Volkswagen ID.4 had a comeback month, with sales up 653% to reach 4,979 units.
I see the success of the Honda Prologue as stemming, in large part, from the halo that the brand gives any car. The fact that people keep leasing Prologues in spite of mediocre reviews seems to support this point.
Volkswagen doesn’t have that halo. So why is the Volkswagen selling better? Some of this is pent-up demand, likely, as the ID.4 was stop-saled due to a door handle issue. Some of it, of course, is cheap leases. There’s a price low enough that people will choose an ID.4 over an, arguably, better Mach-E or Ioniq 5. Is there some other “anyone but Musk” energy here? I don’t know.
Germany To Form A New Government
This weekend we got a new election in Germany, which is a big deal for automakers in that country as they’ve been on the struggle bus lately. As usual in a country with proportional representation, there’s no single winner. The Conservative CDU/CSU party won about 28.% of the seats. The right-wing AfD party got above 20% for the first time ever, though basically every other party agreed to keep them out of government and build a coalition without them.
What’s likely to be formed is a coalition government made up of the CDU/CSU (whose color is black), the center-right SPD (whose color is red), and the Greens, which came in 4th at 11.7%. This is the “Kenya Coalition” because the combined colors make a Kenyan flag. This replaces the stoplight coalition that included the FDP (yellow), which didn’t even make 5% and thus gets zero seats.
I’ve talked before about European competitiveness and the biggest issue, as I see it, is the lack of investment. Germany has a big issue with making investments and I’m not sure any one party did well enough to fix this issue. As Deutsche Welle notes:
The rise of Germany’s extremist fringes further complicates reform of a key element of German politics: the so-called debt brake which limits fresh borrowing to just 0.35% of GDP annually. It was enshrined in the constitution to keep German debt low, but is said to have hindered urgently needed public investments.
IW’s Bergmann also said that it’s particularly problematic as mainstream parties no longer hold the two-thirds majority in the new parliament needed to amend the constitution to reform the debt brake or pass special funds.
In addition, the massive gains of the AfD, which has doubled its result compared with the 2021 election, is worrying business leaders as they fear negative consequences when recruiting urgently needed foreign workers.
Good luck with all that.
What I’m Listening To While Writing TMD
There’s a whole album from the band Seatbelts that’s basically the music from the spectacular anime show Cowboy Bebop. I am not, naturally, an anime person. I just never got into it. This show rules, though, and the songs, composed by Yoko Kanno, are worthy to listen to on their own. Start with “Tank” and don’t look back. Does this count as defiant jazz? Maybe.
The Big Question
You’re interviewing for the Stellantis CEO job and you have to cut three Stellantis brands immediately. What do you pick and why? Bonus, describe a Jeep Minivan.
Photo credit: Gladiator/Stellantis
Look, nobody calls the Ram anything but a Dodge Ram. It has been a decade and Ram is still Dodge. Just make Dodge and Ram the same brand already, the dealerships who called themselves “Dodge City” back in the day will actually have the same name as their most popular products, and everyone will be happy. Hell if they need some crash Dodge products just put some badges on some Peugeot crossovers – it’s not like they will do worse than the Hornet, plus they would have funky interiors.
I’m also pretty sure that at this point nobody would notice if Chrysler disappeared.
Kenya’s flag also has white on it, and none of those parties claim white as a color. They should be calling it the Martinique Coalition.
Taking out brands doesn’t really do all that much as profitability is measured at the assembly plant level, not the brand level. Multiple brand products can and are built on the same assembly lines.
If I ran the show, I could see how Fiat in the US / Canada has been a resounding failure and should just be sent packing. If we’re being honest, Fiat is about as viable in North America as Ram would be in the EU.
Some brands just weren’t meant to be global. Ram and Fiat are prime examples.
I would keep Alfa and have it moved in with existing Maserati dealerships.
Lancia can be sent packing as there really isn’t much there except for badge engineered Peugeot and Opel stuff.
Chrysler can stay as is. There’s good brand recognition and some logic to expanding the line up with some rebadged Peugeot or an EV off the Wagoneer S platform.
As for Ram, leave it alone as trucks are highly profitable and there’s plenty of brand equity at this point. Merging with Dodge wouldn’t do much of anything as the reasoning for separating is still valid. Dodge is sporty muscle car stuff, Ram is trucks. The Durango could probably be called a Ram but it really wouldn’t make any difference as Dodge Ram dealerships are together anyway.
I mean, the first two easily apparent brands to can are Abarth and DS. Abarth makes even less sense then SRT did as a stand-alone brand, and no matter the explanation for its existence, DS just doesn’t make sense to me.
Finding a third brand to axe is difficult. The quick and dumb answer is Dodge and Ram merge back together. For virtually every other brand, there’s a great case to be made for their existence. Lancia and Vauxhall are a bit more difficult to explain, but Lancia has been carving out a decent niche for itself the past few years, Vauxhall hasn’t, which would make it my pick for #3.
Also, a Jeep minivan? Just look at the Hot Wheels Pacifica’s and that’d be a Jeep minivan concept in about 2 seconds.
Despite some brands really struggle bussing and being shells of their former selves, my picks are:
RAM (absorb it into Dodge)
Leasys (new mobility vaporwave, out you go)
Free2move (Free 2 go away you unsustainable, oxymoronic money pit)
Almost threw Chrysler there but the Big 3 is still a thing and unfortunately the next candidate for Big 3-dom is run by a goober that a lot of people really don’t like. They do make nice chargers though.
Bonus: Pacifica with a mild lift, some extra cladding and a jeep-esque slot grille. The bean counter special.
Mini-rant:
“Familiar with xxx’s thinking” is the single most horseshit justification for a quote in all of journalism. It should be read as “shit we just made up but want to sound like a quote”, and the outlet publishing it should be shamed without mercy. Reuters has been trending down for a while, and this is another example of that degeneration. Fucking get the primary source and dispense with the fantasy bullshit. Crimeney.
By the comments you can tell few people read past the headline
Article says there’s not much savings in cutting Chrysler (ink on ad copy and shared badges? They don’t have a separate dealer network and will be built at the same factories) and every other comment is about dodge caravans
“Not much savings in cutting it” and “no discernible future” are different things. I personally don’t see the point in keeping it around – nothing fits in its portfolio and why bother investing in one?
Move the Pacifica to Dodge, drop a Hellcat in it (for bonus points), get rid of Chrysler, and focus the remaining brands.
It’s pretty clear killing Chrysler would just be easier from a pure admin perspective – if everything’s the same brand, you’re using the same order books and other stuff. It’s just streamlining things, especially since Chrysler has one product.
It wouldn’t actually save much money, but it would be extremely easy to do and make your life simpler.
Given Dodge’s whole image as a reaction to a larger political problem, I say axe it and RAM. I don’t need any more MOPAR marketing or ideologies in my life.
As far as a Jeep minivan is concerned, it will need XD wheels, a winch, and rock lights. But in all seriousness, here is my list below for an active family minivan from Jeep.
It should have drain holes in the floor for easy vomit cleanup. It should also carry a small amount of water for rinsing out said vomit. This could be more useful than a vacuum.
It should have a split tailgate for soccer practice and other activities. Split tailgates make a great seat.
A below-the-floor insulated cubby that doubles as a cooler for drinks and fruit. The lid to this cooler should be a tiny CRV-like table.
How about a lightweight removable third-row split bench that can be popped out with extendable legs giving you a “comfortable” way to watch your kid’s sports.
The tailgate/rear of the vehicle should have AC that can be zoned to create a bit of a cool tailgate zone without worrying about cooling the rest of the car.
Lastly, every entrance to the jeep shall have smart-key capable handles. I want to walk up to any door handle and touch it to gain entry/lock the vehicle.
Factory optioned roof tent and ladder. Now, you have a rolling fort that kids can play in when the weather is nice. Bonus points because you “look cool” and outdoorsy.
Opel/Vauxhall and Peugeot can’t be killed, because they want to sell basically the same car for the germans/brits and the french too. (And in a similar way, Opel/Vauxhall models are more conservative looking, while Peugeots could be too much for some, especially if we talk about the interior.)
Citroën should be like it used to be for a large part of its history: cheap cars, like the 2CV (and other cars built on the same platform) was, competing with Dacia – they already have some of these, and cars (and crossovers), like the original DS was. So DS should be turned back into a Citroën sub-brand.
Fiat has the highest sales numbers in the whole Stellantis group, it’s strong in South America, Turkey – and Italy, where the family owning the biggest part of the company comes from.
Jeep’s role does not need to be explained – especially not, when every car wants to be (or at least look like) an off-roader.
Ram could be part of Dodge, strenghtening each others masculine image.
Chrysler could be the comfortable version of the US-market cars.
Alfa and Maserati would need time and money for image building, and some models that are capable to do the same, or more, as for example BMWs in Alfa’s case, while Maserati should aim at Porsche in a similar way. I’m not shure they are able to do this.
The problem with even faster EV charging is that all the power always has to be available at the charging station, while it might sit unused for most of the time. That costs money. Meanwhile H2 should be bufferable, if we could store it in large tanks. So something like the CRV FCEV-PHEV could be the universal solution. Charge at home, fill up during road trips or when you have no time for slow (under 22 kW) charging!
I think I’ve read that CDU/CSU + SPD have 50%+ of the seats in the parliament, so they don’t necessarily need the Greens.
Jeep stays, Chrysler gets the axe, minivan goes back to being a Dodge Caravan, and Rams go back to being a Dodge. That makes the US dealerships Jeep and Ram stores. Sell the Chrysler name back to the family, if they’ll pay for it.
Pull all the Euro brands out of the US. They dont do any meaningful numbers here.
Maserati or Alfa- pick one, it gets to stay. Other has to go. Even then both really should go.
Lancia, DS, gone. DS can go back to being a top trim Citroen.
The chart on Automotive News also shows 9% of their sales are “untracked” brands. Those should die. If you can’t find room in the portfolio for those models, well, probably time to kill some more.
They normally sell the fiats and alfas together make some spicy fiats as alfas. The whole ram split I always thought was kinda dumb but it was done. Both ram and Dodge sell things so not sure you can do anything there other then undo. A ram dodge doesn’t sound too good. I think jeep need a restraining order. Leave it alone if they try to make it more European it will fail the market has made that clear. I’m not sure how citron and jeep make any sense other then the little cross overs. Alot the jeep people don’t even consider them jeeps anyway. They have already sold Chrysler out unless they launch it as like a luxury car but they have better brands for that. Chrysler I think did it’s self in and has died many deaths but this last one maybe more permanent.
For what it’s worth, the SPD is center-left, not center right.
Obviously they’re keeping Jeep though maybe they should probably shitcan the Wagoneer line unless it’s making more money than my anecdotal experience would indicate.
Honestly just ditch Chrysler as a brand they should’ve done this years ago, it makes a ton of sense to rebrand the Pacifica as a Dodge Caravan this is probably what it should’ve been all along the Caravan is an iconic name plate (admittedly they have built recognition around Pacifica). Spinning Ram off as its own brand never made sense to me-you’re throwing away whatever minimal brand synergy (lol) there is between dodge cars and trucks, and loosening the mental connection between Ram and the long history of respected Dodge trucks so Ram should be re-absorbed into Dodge.
Sadly Fiat probably oughta get canned from the US market. Is anyone surprised they’ve done poorly here-the 500 only makes sense in dense urban environments and their only attempts at expanding the lineup were that bloated mini-countryman esque thing and a mildly reworked Miata.
Which leaves Alfa, the company I think most car enthusiasts were most stoked about coming back to the USA. Hard to see them surviving even if they stick it out. Maybe I’m way off but I do wonder if they’d be doing better if they’d brought some of the more entry level Alfas to the US market as VW and Mazda competitors, maybe also sell rebadged versions as Dodge? But I also admit I don’t know their Euro lineup too well. But didn’t they do this with the Dart which as near as I can tell was moderately successful?