So That’s Why The Autopian Cab Ate A Bunch Of Wood: COTD

Somehow, all of the Autopian company cars live quite unfortunate lives. Ski-Klasse was beaten to a pulp off-road, the Pontiac Aztek wants to self-drive itself off of a mountain, and now we have this Nissan NV200 former NYC taxi and it’s already having a bad time.

We bought the cabbie for just $800 from Copart, and it’s been a hilarious disaster ever since. The thing didn’t even run at first, and now, it got to eat a trunk-load of tree after some accidental mishandling by the guys delivering the van to Jason’s place. I have a feeling that our new Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet is trembling in fear right now. Steve Wilson points out the goof here:

You called for a tow truck but they sent a wrecker.

Hoonicus:

You can’t hit every F’ing branch of the bad decisions tree without first climbing it.

Sid Bridge:

Behold, an adorable little NY Taxi, after 340,000 miles of New York abuse including being bumped by cars, thwacked by angry umbrella-toting stock brokers with tophats and arrow collars, and spending its nights socked in a lot with a bunch of other abused cabs listening to horror stories from one of the three remaining grizzly old Crown Vics, finally gets out of New York to experience a little suburban serenity. And… oh look! It’s a tree! It’s first tree! Let’s go say hi to my first tree! (WHACK)

A. Barth:

Is the tree all right??

shitbox hero

“Unfortunately, Foreigner were unable to recapture the magic of their previous hit.”

The biggest news we’ve seen in a while is the launch of the Slate Auto truck. It’s an extremely barebones and basic regular cab truck with steel wheels and no paint. Basically everything is an option from a radio to door pockets. V10omous fires off a hot, but hilarious take:

This thing is designed to appeal to commenters here, which means it has about a 0.0001% chance of being an actual success.

Hey now! Now, if only Slate Auto could have figured out how to sell a brand-new used car. It would have the enthusiast market locked down tight. Have a great weekend, everyone!