Someone Killed The Unkillable $350,000 Rezvani Tank And Now It Sits On Copart Like Your Rusted-Out Cavalier (UPDATED)

I’ll be honest with you: I never really understood the appeal of the Rezvani Tank. I guess there are people out there who do understand the appeal of a Jeep Wrangler JL with a video game-type future-warfare body plopped on it, because at least a few of this things have been sold, enough that one has now ended up on the legendary Copart broken-car auction site, just like all those old Sebrings with flood damage or the Cavalier your cousin’s brother’s friend’s dad’s dentist’s kid rolled down that embankment. The email we got from Copart states that this Rezvani Tank is “bulletproof,” but apparently it’s not truck-proof, as the rear quarter panel that got hit shows. Now the Rezvani sits on a Copart lot in Florida; per the auction site, the truck was once worth $354,241, making its current bid a steal at $80 grand!

Looking at the pictures of the 6.4-liter HEMI V8 Rezvani Tank, the damaged area doesn’t look that bad; the rear wheel is off (perhaps the studs are sheared?) and what appears to be a fiberglass fender is all beat up and torn:

UPDATE (Nov 14, 2023 3:40 P.M. ET): A representative from Rezvani has emailed us to provide more context:

An 18 wheeler at very high rate of speed ran a red light and crashed into Tank. The Tank driver walked away. An EMT witnessed the accident stated that had he been in any other car he would not have survived. Just wanted to share the full story with you on how well this armored tank protector its occupant. I hope this gives you more context on the facts on how this tank ended up in this condition, which is very important to your story.

Assuming that is fiberglass and not kevlar or carbon fiber, I suspect that all of the bulletproof material is used for the cabin area, because why bother bulletproofing the rear wheelwell? I am a bit surprised that this amount of damage to the rear quarter, the rear bumper, and, it seems the rear hub and possibly the axle, was enough to total the thing. The mechanical parts should be available from Jeep, right? But I suppose those body panels are in pretty limited supply. And perhaps there’s some frame damage there? It’s hard to tell.

The rest of the body all seems to be in pretty decent shape, though, so if you’re an experienced Jeep mechanic with some fiberglass (?) skills, this could be a hell of a deal.

Of course, in the end you’d still be stuck with a vehicle whose interior is about as airy and inviting as a mausoleum, but a bit less cheery. Especially in the back:

Yikes, look at it in there!

Copart made a little video showing off this mean machine, so you can feel like you’re right next to an immobile, fucked-up Rezvani Tank!

Also, I’m not exactly sure who owned this before, or what sort of person chooses the “Tank Military Edition” model, but if you do, you get, in addition to the bulletproofing, “20 security features,” some of which seem to be activated from this control panel:

Look at that! You blinding lights front and rear, strobe lights, door handles that deliver electric shocks, a smoke screen, and pepper spray, which I assume is directed outside the vehicle and not, say, through the HVAC vents. No wonder this thing is bulletproof; if you actually use any of that crap, of course people are going to want to shoot you!

What are the legal implications for this stuff? Like, if you use that smoke screen while driving, and you cause a couple poor randos behind you to drive their RAV4s into trees, are you on the hook for that? Or if your blinding rear lights cause someone to drive into a ditch? Or do you even care?

It’s really difficult not to see this thing as just a ridiculous car for the insecure asshole within us all, but maybe, just maybe, if you can pick this one up for like a quarter of its original selling price, it’d actually be worth it? Maybe? I mean, it is still just a Wrangler under there. Well, a Wrangler with an underbody explosive protection system and some nifty rear side marker lamps on that massive D-pillar.

The listing says this one has the stock 3.6-liter inline six, but the photo above looks like the 6.4-liter V8 making 500 ponies — which you’ll want if you have a heavy, bulletproof getaway car. The 3.6 won’t cut it. Oh, and this thing has a thermal night-vision system!

For a car that puts up such a big show and has a giant pricetag, this relatively minor damage totaling the whole thing seems a bit…odd. It’s like seeing some massive, muscled guy talk a lot of shit and throw around some chairs at a bar, only to knock himself out cold when he accidentally bangs his head on a doorframe while throwing back a shot of tequila. Then, while on the ground, he pees himself. [Ed Note: To be fair, we don’t know how bad the crash was, so the analogy is maybe a bit flawed. Maybe it was a massive wreck! -DT] (See Update Above).

I’m pretty sure this is the first one of these to show up at a Copart lot, and that in itself feels like a cause to celebrate. I’m curious to see where this thing ends up!

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