Subaru Needs To Bring The Weird Back With A New BRAT

Let’s say it’s 1980, and you want to buy a car that takes a different approach from the mainstream brands. Something that shows everyone you think independently. You’re actually rather spoiled for choice of iconoclastic rides during this time; imagine being able to walk into a dealership and purchasing a brand-new Saab, Fiat, Lancia, Peugeot, Subaru, Renault, or even a Rover SD1 3500 (which lasted on the market literally less time than Another One Bites The Dust was on the charts). Today, essentially all of these quirky cars are gone from the American market.

Wait, what about Subaru? Doesn’t that brand still sell here, and relatively well? Sure, but sadly they survived by ditching the quirkiness that had been so much of the brand’s identity (and charm, to those who got it). You can see the progression over the last thirty years. The cool-as-hell XT Coupe and SVX tanked on the market, yet the Camry-fighting mid-sized Legacy gained traction and saw real success when Subaru threw on an off-road-looking costume. The funky B9 Tribeca SUV was rejected by the market until it was quickly assimilated into what eventually became the current Ascent, a vehicle so generic that you don’t even need to de-brand it for one of those bank car financing advertisements.

Our own Matt Hardigee recently sold his 2016 Subaru; the complaints he had were echoed by a number of commenters about cars of this brand over the last few decades. “The boredom of a Toyota without the reliability” is one quip I’ve heard. Hell, Matt didn’t even have a head gasket failure as was once the rule and not the exception so he should be happy.

I still think the issue lies deeper than quibbles like serial headlamp failures and lower control arm failures. Subaru needs to turn the tide with a statement piece that will reintroduce people to what made the cars with the weird-ass constellation logo appealing in years past. They’ve proved that they know how to not die like Saab, but can they really and truly live once again?

Weird, And Built To Stay That Way

Imagine a car with the spare tire sitting proudly atop a water-cooled flat engine up front. The proportions are a bit goofy, and controls on later models stick out of the steering column like antlers. Cursive script “front wheel drive” badges adorn the sides. Some offered interesting features like a single “cyclops” fog light hidden behind an electrically opening door in the center of the grille.

That sounds like something only Jason Torchinsky would love. Is this a French vehicle we’re talking about? No, it’s the Japanese Subaru.

That’s just the beginning. They made various strange versions of this already strange car like a pillarless hardtop coupe with an incongruous roof that rivaled the shape of the equally-odd Volvo 262C for awkwardness:

The real party trick, however, was the fact that you could get Subarus (wagons only at first) with four-wheel drive in a time when only Jeep-like vehicles offered it. The center-differential-equipped AMC Eagle can technically be called the first real crossover, but the Soobie wagon makes a strong case for the title despite a full-time-only drive system that you manually switched off and on:

Ah, but Subaru was not afraid to move that “goofy” lever really up into the red. In 1978, the Japanese firm took a bit of the down-under idea of a “ute” and the stylish approach of the “cowboy Cadillac” El Camino to make the Bi-Drive Recreational All Terrain Subaru, or BRAT for short.

Essentially it was the wagon converted to a pickup, but it circumvented the stringent taxes imposed on these imported trucks since it still seated four people. How? Well, two of them had to sit in the bed – backwards – in the so-called “fun seats.” Admittedly, seeing it in action below, if that doesn’t look like fun you must be clinically dead. Who says you need five hundred horsepower to have a good time?

A second-generation model based on the sleeker (for Subaru, at least) new-for-1980 Leone added things like a “halo roof” double sunroof, but still kept the basic formula unchanged. Sales in America continued through 1987, yet the BRAT was sold in places like Australia (where it was sold as the Brumby) until 1994.

Subaru did try something similar with a spiritual successor in the form of the 2002 Baja. Based on a Legacy, the four-door had a small extended bed in back where an Outback wagon would have had a cargo area. You could open the mid-gate pass-thru to use some interior space for long items or add a cage around the open tailgate to increase cargo capacity, but overall the thing looked a lot more fun and usable than it really was. Production ended in 2006, but supposedly the remaining stock didn’t sell off until 2008.

With the market’s current infatuation with things like Jeep Wranglers and open Ford Broncos, it’s a crime for Subaru not to revisit this beloved BRAT. Still, how can we make a vehicle that was barely acceptable from a mainstream marketing and safety standpoint nearly fifty years ago work today?

You Want To Be Everything, You Spoiled Little BRAT?

The BRAT showed the world that a fun and exciting car could still exist amidst the backdrop of rising inflation, high fuel prices, and choking emission controls. We can face the challenges of today’s safety restrictions with the same creativity by modifying a current Outback Wilderness wagon.  “Bishop”, you ask. “You know that there’s a new Outback coming, right?” There’s always a new Outback on the horizon, and I don’t really care. If you remember, the BRAT based on the second-generation Leone continued to be built long after the later generations of the sedan and wagon were launched. Honestly, the older and dorkier the Soobie, the better BRAT it makes in my book.

Up front, a mock push bar simulating the popular and tough-looking period BRAT accessory is added to the Wilderness nose, leaving a void for a winch that you’d need a lot less than you might think with these funky wagons. With today’s projector units, there’s no need for big auxiliary lights but if don’t want driving lamps the size of large Panera Bread soup bowls then why would want a retro BRAT in the first place? Same thing with the recreated white spoker steel or coated aluminum wheels.

God, I’d love to put outdoor, rear-facing seats in a pickup bed of a new BRAT, but even if we turned them forward we’d have the issues of where to put things like shoulder belts. Once I got to the part where I was putting side airbags in the truck-bed walls, I knew a different approach was needed. Besides, it does rain and snow, and I’m told that some people find that less than desirable to sit in at seventy miles an hour.

Let’s go back to the Outback Wilderness side view:

Now, a number of the BRAT redux renderings I’ve seen just keep the four-door passenger compartment like on the old Baja; an enclosed cabin is no fun and easily one reason why buyers soundly rejected that half-revival. I might have another solution. Look at the cut lines on the cant rail: there are removable roof panels (left and right) over the front and rear passengers.

There’s a back seat as in the Outback wagon but the new BRAT is two-door now; front doors are lengthened slightly and now feature pillarless, frameless side glass so you’ll have a convertible when the roof panels are removed and put in the bed. Now, instead of people outside in the “fun seats” and tiny “halo roof” holes over the driver and front passenger, everyone will be together in the open and not yelling at each other to be heard through a sliding rear window.

The iconic striped “roll bar” of the BRAT (structurally quite necessary here) would hold a removable/folding open rear window to enhance the convertible feel (the defroster grid connects when in place).

Overall, the thing is starting to be similar in concept to the new Hummer EV that can be open with roof panels out. Like the classic Chevy Avalanche, I’m sure that the Hummer has the mid-gate behind the rear seat to expand the small bed.

Wait a minute. What? The Hummer HAS NO MIDGATE? Are you kidding? Supposedly there were packaging issues that made it impossible, but to me, if you couldn’t get that feature in you might as well have shitcanned the whole thing. I’d hate to say that this is yet another example of GM creating a great feature, perfecting it, and then dropping it, but, well, I just said it.

Our new BRAT will not make this omission. With the tailgate down and an add-on surrounding cage, you could get extremely long items in the bed.

Naturally, you couldn’t fit a Jet-Ski, a four-wheeler, or a motorcycle, but what if you did want to? You’ll need a bigger butt: the BRAT-ASS.

Wait! It’s Gonna Even Stranger

Recently, Matt was asked by an Autopian member about the validity of a crazy idea he had for a rather odd vehicle. As is often the case, instead of telling the reader to sober up before sending any more emails like this, Mr. Hardigee did the wrong thing and forwarded the message on to me:

That’s an interesting thought, but I realize that these personal watercraft (PWC) are big: around ten freaking feet actually. You’ll likely end up with a rather large vehicle that’s too purpose-built for one task, not unlike those strange van/fifth-wheel towing machines that were around in the eighties:

This was a tough one, but if it was easy where would the fun be?

Honestly, I don’t want a vehicle big enough to carry a large recreational toy all of the time. The solution might be an add-on BRAT Additional Stowage System, or BRAT-ASS for short.

In the simplest terms, it’s a bolt-on fit-in-receptacles trailer that sits close to the body (with a very small amount of flex allowed on the sides) with black trim pieces that extend forward to visually blend in with the BRAT’s primary rear wheels. You could relocate the tailgate from the main car onto the BRAT-ASS for a long cargo bed or remove it and use the ramp feature.

The ramp feature is the trick for making loading as simple as Taco Shackleford wants. As an influence, I looked at a failed venture called the Kelpie Kargo where a pickup truck was given a U-shaped frame and thin suspension arms to allow the bed to drop to the ground.

The BRAT-ASS uses a similarly shaped frame and an electric motor can lift the ramp and your cargo up once loaded. The cradle (with a winch at the end) pivots with the ramp and locks in place. Strap down the PWC and you’re gone.

The cradle frame for the PWC can slide out of the bed and stretcher-like wheels extend to let you roll it around your garage or yard. Naturally, things like four-wheelers, motorcycles, and lawn tractors would just go up the ramp on their own.

Despite what it might look like, the overall length is still similar to an F-150 pickup. The difference is that you can disconnect the BRAT-ASS and leave it in the backyard when not needed and have a much smaller and manageable car to do your everyday driving.

Admittedly, the BRAT-ASS in this form would likely be too costly for production. Still, even a functioning concept vehicle would end up as featured posts on ill-publicized websites like this one all over the world, sending everyone a long-anticipated message that the weird is back at Subaru. It’s about effing time.

My Love Is Bigger Than A Honda, Yeah It’s Bigger Than A Subaru

Many owners of old-school Soobies will rave about them, so one might assume that they were more reliable and durable than the current crop of that brand’s cars. Maybe that’s true, but there are other factors to keep in mind.

Fellow Autopian contributor Carlos Ferriera laughs when he tells me about how the driver’s seat in his Alfa Romeo 164S will inexplicably power backward when the car accelerates without him touching the switch. Other things work in the morning but might not work on his drive home later. On a Camry, you refuse to put up with this shit. If, like the Alfa, your car sounds like it’s qualifying for Le Mans when you rev the Busso V6 up to redline in each of the manual gears, you don’t care.

Blown head gaskets are something you don’t tolerate on a dull, grey crossover, but you might let it slide if it happened on something with a removable roof, orange stripes, and Swiss Army-knife versatility. Oh, and available six-wheel drive where four were driven.

Come back, funky Subaru. We miss you.

Our Daydreaming Designer Imagines A Special Subaru From The Japanese Bubble Era – The Autopian

Our Daydreaming Designer Morphs Subaru’s Coolest Failure (The SVX) Into Something That Would Have Actually Sold – The Autopian

Same Idea, 26 Years Apart: 1980 Subaru Brat vs 2006 Subaru Baja – The Autopian

How I Fixed An Old Subaru With A Shotgun Shell And A Little Backyard Wisdom – The Autopian

I Finally Sold The Subaru I Regret Buying New – The Autopian