Home » Tell Me There Isn’t Something Hilarious About This Image: Cold Start

Tell Me There Isn’t Something Hilarious About This Image: Cold Start

Cs Audibook1
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Yesterday, I got this Audi-published book of Audi’s history for a buck and a half at a used book store, and it’s a lot better than you’d think for a corporate self-published history. Maybe that’s because the history of Audi is actually weirdly complicated: Audi is just the lone surviving name from the companies that formed the Auto-Union (Audi, DKW, Horch, and Wanderer), and there are periods of association with Mercedes-Bnz, NSU, and then Volkswagen. And even now, you could argue that even though VW bought NSU-Auto Union, like a virus they took over VW, and modern VW is, really, modern DKW/Auto Union. Anyway, more importantly, look how hilarious that 17-passenger sightseeing Horch car is up there, from 1912.

There’s something about the length of the car, the slight ramping up of the seats to the rear, the proportions, and all those be-hatted people that make this thing feel, I don’t know, almost cartoonish? If they were animals in those hats, this would feel like it drove out of Richard Scarry’s Busytown.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Also, can you imagine the process of putting up that top? It might take everyone in that thing, requiring the same levels of co-ordination as an Amish barn-raising.

Also fascinating in this book was this:

Cs Audibook Woodtires

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So this 1917 Horch was a product of WWI materials deprivation, and, despite having a luxurious three headlamps, had wooden tires. Wooden! Why wood? I’d think layers of leather or something would be better than wood? How do wooden tires perform? Is there any flex? Any grip? Can you do a burnout and it smells like camping? What about compressed paper? Rope? Sausages?

Fascinating stuff in this book! More to come!

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Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
1 year ago

Who knew Photoshop v1.0 came out in 1912?

John E
John E
1 year ago
Reply to  Crank Shaft

It’s real. They had a thing for giant machines back then.

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
1 year ago
Reply to  John E

Oh I had little doubt. Computer just wasn’t the same back then.

DysLexus
DysLexus
1 year ago

Oh, this is real?

I seriously thought this was one of Torch’s AI generated photos.

DysLexus
DysLexus
1 year ago
Reply to  DysLexus

Something like putting the mixer VW Rabbit, Convertible, 1912, Certified Public Account convention????

Wagen Volk
Wagen Volk
1 year ago

Hilarious. Another thing that’s hilarious is that @Jason Noiles talked about publishing stories about last Monterey Car Week and it seems next MCW is already around the corner and there was still nothing to read.

Shooting Brake
Shooting Brake
1 year ago

Hmm… I would of though that the 17 passenger Horch would have a wheelie bar for the inevitable weight shift to the rear from sudden acceleration! 😉

Dodsworth
Dodsworth
1 year ago

I never knew Dr. Seuss designed cars. Are they on their way to a safety dance?

ChefCJ
ChefCJ
1 year ago

I love how every dude from that time period just looks like a copy/paste of every other dude.

Balloondoggle
Balloondoggle
1 year ago
Reply to  ChefCJ

Take a look at any high school yearbook, it’s the same thing. Ain’t conformity grand?

SuperNova
SuperNova
1 year ago

Maximum carrying capacity 17 Europeans or 6 Americans.

IRegertNothing, Esq.
IRegertNothing, Esq.
1 year ago
Reply to  SuperNova

Harsh, but honest.

Hoonicus
Hoonicus
1 year ago

What kind of rear suspension is on that Horch ? Doesn’t look compressed at all. Are they cut outs ? Did Gilliam produce the brochure ?

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
1 year ago

Mmmmm, sausage wheels. I don’t think I’d eat the sausage afterwards, though.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch
Carbon Fiber Sasquatch
1 year ago
Reply to  Stef Schrader

Gives a whole new meaning to “trail bologna” that’s for sure

Soso Tsundere
Soso Tsundere
1 year ago

I pity the person stuck behind them in the drive thru at Arby’s.

Stacks
Stacks
1 year ago

Something about the proportions makes it look less like a bus and more like a VW Rabbit full of gnomes.

MEK
MEK
1 year ago

How do you say Canyonero in German?

Opa Carriker
Opa Carriker
1 year ago
Reply to  MEK

Canyonero is a rough approximation of the Spanish word cañonero, meaning “deceitful” which in turn translate to hinterlistig which isn’t even any fun to play with.

Andy Individual
Andy Individual
1 year ago

This should make modern SUV drivers feel inadequate.

Jbavi
Jbavi
1 year ago

Get enough big guys in the last 2 rows and I bet you could pop some crazy wheelies!

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
1 year ago

“Can you do a burnout and it smells like camping? What about compressed paper? Rope?”

Hemp tire burnouts would be incredible.

Collegiate Autodidact
Collegiate Autodidact
1 year ago

Good grief, the boomer-grade Reader’s Digest/Penthouse/Playboy-readers’ comments today… Is there any way of blocking such commenters so one doesn’t have to keep a mental tally of who to skip over when reading the comments?

Man With A Reliable Jeep
Man With A Reliable Jeep
1 year ago

I don’t know what you’re on about. There’s one, maybe one, comment here that’s a bit off. Have some coffee and relax. Geez.

Collegiate Autodidact
Collegiate Autodidact
1 year ago

It can get a little annoying, to say the least, to be reading comments with jokes about a “gang bang” (bearing in mind that the term is usually an euphemism for something absolutely horrible in reality) because there’s one woman among many men or Tim Allen-type jokes about the sole woman being a back seat driver; furthermore, many other articles on this website have similar comments and worse which some people simply don’t care to be reading especially when one is enjoying one’s morning coffee so this particular article with the aforementioned comments just reminded me to inquire about blocking capability.

Last edited 1 year ago by Collegiate Autodidact
Man With A Reliable Jeep
Man With A Reliable Jeep
1 year ago

I didn’t read anything alluding to a “gang bang” unless it was already moderated out. If you’re referring to the one from Canopysaurus, I don’t think that was the intent and you may be reading more between the lines than there actually is.

Vetatur Fumare
Vetatur Fumare
1 year ago

The dirt was in the eye of the observer on that one.

Vetatur Fumare
Vetatur Fumare
1 year ago
Reply to  Vetatur Fumare

Oh never mind, just saw the gang bang reference (Iregertnothing). Anyhow, they are just sophomoric words and nothing to get upset about IMHO.

Man With A Reliable Jeep
Man With A Reliable Jeep
1 year ago
Reply to  Vetatur Fumare

Ah, geez, me too. TBH, because the first part seemed like a cogent comment, I must’ve skimmed the last part. Not really appropriate.

Anders
Anders
1 year ago

Looks like the first time I used the clone tool in Photoshop.

Flyingstitch
Flyingstitch
1 year ago

The mild stadium seating there is really a clever and thoughtful touch.

Matt A
Matt A
1 year ago

What’s the book title?

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
1 year ago

Eighteen people in a vehicle and only one a woman. Where does she sit? Right behind the driver, of course. Shouldn’t we have taken a left there, Hans? Are you sure you know where we’re going?

Chronometric
Chronometric
1 year ago

Torch bringing the Horch. The top mechanism in my admittedly smaller 1917 Stephens touring car is remarkably easy to operate. You have to stand in the rear seat area to lever it up and over your head. It does extend straight up about 5 feet at one point so you can’t do it in a garage.

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
1 year ago

As far as leather for tires goes, I know Germany experienced a massive leather shortage all through WWII to the extent that they made synthetic leather out of wood pulp, and, postwar, East Germany never seemed to have a reliable supply of it for basically the country’s entire existence, I have some East German belts, holsters, and map cases from the ’70s and ’80s that are made from the absolute cheapest, thinnest, crappiest low grade vinyl you can imagine.

It wouldn’t surprise me at all to learn Germany had similar shortages in WWI.

DubblewhopperInDubblejeopardy
DubblewhopperInDubblejeopardy
1 year ago

16 Back-seat drivers….that would make me jump off a cliff with all those passengers.

Man With A Reliable Jeep
Man With A Reliable Jeep
1 year ago

Can you imagine? It’d be like driving with a large, irritating (oxymoron) extended family:

“I say good sir, I have great need for the lavatory!”

“Pray tell, when shall be arriving at our destination?”

“This fellow of poor upbringing will not cease jostling me!”
“Fie! You beefer!”

“Gads! Driver! You are committing to that perilous turn too hard and too soon!”

“Pardon, may we pull this Flivver over post-haste? I suddenly find myself in a most bilious humour!”

IRegertNothing, Esq.
IRegertNothing, Esq.
1 year ago

Cars weren’t very reliable back then, so the more passengers you had available to push the better. For this beast you could have a rotation so nobody got too worn out.

IRegertNothing, Esq.
IRegertNothing, Esq.
1 year ago

By the time 1917 rolled around, strips of animal hide were probably more valuable to German civilians as a food source than they were for anything else. Assuming that any leather even made it to the civilian market when it had military purposes. The British blockade choked Germany off to the point that lead water lines and antique church bells were being melted down for war materials out of desperation. Horses would be slaughtered in the middle of a village so people could slice off hunks of meat.

Lead image- This was clearly the car to get for a good old fashioned Bavarian gang bang. I hope m’lady had her Wheaties that morning.

Xpumpx
Xpumpx
1 year ago

Wowsers! How tall are those tires? Those wheels are beautiful, too.

Last edited 1 year ago by Xpumpx
MATTinMKE
MATTinMKE
1 year ago
Reply to  Xpumpx

The scale of the whole thing! It’s gotta be what, 25 feet long?

I feel the Lane museum needs one in their collection. They should park it amongst the micro cars.

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