I’m not sure there has ever been a vehicle that inspires so much simultaneous adoration and revulsion as the Tesla Cybertruck. The thing isn’t even out yet, and there’s already people both ready to burn one in (a simple, plywood) effigy and those that are seriously considering starting to pray to it instead of their current deity. I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced anything like this before.
A fantastic example of this can be seen when, just yesterday, Tesla’s lead designer Franz von Holzhausen showed up to the Malibu Cars and Coffee with a pre-production (I hope) Cybertruck wearing a matte black wrap. Autojournalist Daniel Golson spotted the thing and took these pictures you see here, and there are two really interesting revelations: the surprisingly rough build quality of this thing, and, even better, the alarmingly rough interactions of Tesla -philes and -phobes in the comments of Daniel’s X (something something former Twitter something) post. Because they’re nuts.
Here’s Daniel’s initial post, which has been retweeted by over 1,200 people:
Don’t worry everyone, the Cybertruck looks horrible in matte black too pic.twitter.com/hMu0mUk1zJ
— Daniel Golson (@dsgolson) November 5, 2023
And here are some more pictures of the wrapped Cybertruck:
Then Daniel posted these close-up pictures of the Cybertruck, which reveals some pretty iffy build quality and panel fitment issues, and I think this is really where all the fun starts. I mean, look at this:
Oof, that’s um, not great, even if we ignore the wrap wrinkles. There are lots of tricky angles coming together there, I get that, but that hood doesn’t even really look closed. Here’s another angle:
All those angles and straight edges can be pretty unforgiving for this type of thing; I think it’d be challenging to build well for almost any carmaker, if that helps. Of course, that could be part of why other carmakers haven’t decided to build a car like this, with these huge, flat, stainless body panels.
Getting these wheelarch trims to fit flush seems a challenge, too. But by far the most egregious issue had to be with the tailgate, which looked like this when closed:
I’m pretty sure that the tailgate is supposed to meet and close flush with the bedsides there, and the rear taillight bar is supposed to line up seamlessly with the light units build into the bedsides.
As you can see, it’s not, by at least a good quarter inch or so? Maybe a bit more? Also, even in matte black, this all feels like commercial kitchen equipment, somehow. And, yes, with the bed tonneau up, you do lose the rear window.
Also interesting is the size of this support pillar under the steeply-raked A-pillar, where the rear-view mirror is mounted. It’s a pretty thick block of metal and plastic that does make for a hell of a blind spot:
???????????? https://t.co/yuJz8QB0Y2 pic.twitter.com/YdTZkw5dZI
— Daniel Golson (@dsgolson) November 5, 2023
There are lots more good pictures here, too, beyond what was tweeted, which we have purchased from Daniel to run here:
Of course, when Daniel pointed out some of these issues – many of which, to be fair, may be solved when the final production Cybertruck hits the market – he got a lot of predictably cranky responses from the Cybertruck faithful.
The type of response varies a lot, but there are a few key staples, like the reminder that most of us have not, in fact, designed and developed a full-size automobile and placed it into mass production, and I guess that means you can’t complain about any production car as a result:
You know, it’s how there are no movie critics that have not produced entire movies, or food critics who have never run a restaurant, or cultural critics who have never started an entire society.
There’s also the attacks based on doing a lot of Googling for pictures of the original poster, and saying some shit about their style choices:
This is only a tiny look at the unacceptable harassment Golson has dealt with from Cybertruck diehards.
This interaction, though, I think is my favorite:
Here’s a nice example of the truly unhinged culty Tesla fan, where changing the world comes up:
I do have to disagree with Daniel on this point: I think Back to the Future picked the DeLorean BECAUSE it was cool:
Ah, Cybertruck madness! I hope it never ends!
All photos: Daniel Golson/The Autopian
Y’all just hate us cause you ain’t us.
Counterpoint- it is heinous because it is anus.
All it would take is a severe head injury and anyone could be one of y’all
I know many people with severe head injuries. Thankfully none of them own or like this piece of shit.
Begging for an LS swap…
How long after release if/of the cyber does WhistlindDiesel do this? pulls all the batteries and electric motors, put in LS. Adding lightness. Could be good. I should make a call
It’s still mildly entertaining to watch these fools fight, but the vehicle itself hold no interest for me at all.
Although I’ve heard the tires do hold air well.
The Cyber Truck saga is like a long, tortured joke where you keep waiting and waiting for the punchline but it never comes.
It’s a thing of beauty!!!1! Why can’t you all see it?1? Lord Elon put those panel gaps in there on purpose!!1 /s
Snark mode engaged.
And yes, those tires are holding air well.
I don’t mind these things. Might even drive one someday. Although the Lightning is the smarter choice.
Yeah, that Ford build quality /s (My 2021 F-150 is back in the shop. Again.) I’m interested to see what their next one will be like, but they’re scaling back production on the current one for a reason.
Rivian is the smarter choice.
Besides which the quality for a product from a company that has not built vehicles for a decade, much less a century, is quite good.
Hopefully the fitment issues go away in production. I don’t have strong feeling about the CT or have any use for it, but it is fun to watch people attack/defend it.
Paint it with Singularity Black so we wont even see it
Or Camo – so we’ll know that we’re not supposed to see it.
No, the DMC-12 was definitely chosen for the irony value, by 1985, it was mostly remembered for its iffy build quality, lackluster reliability, mediocre performance despite sporting pretensions, and the ignominious manner in which the company collapsed. That perception of the DeLorean continued at least into the 90s (that’s why a battered example was made Troy McClure’s car on the Simpsons, a washed up, broke actor who hadn’t worked since the early ’80s). Wasn’t really until the 1980s nostalgia boom became a thing after the turn of the century that attitudes changed.
Excellent citation…I remember him from such films as Calling all Quakers or P is for Psycho. I miss Phil Hartman.
Marty’s incredulous “you built a time machine out of a DeLorean?!” says it all, but it’s funny how nobody picks up on that now.
Not to mention the running gag about it never starting when you really need it to.
However, Doc Brown explicitly stated that he chose the DeLorean because “If you’re going to build a time machine into a car, why not do it with style?”.
From this we can gather that Doc felt the DMC-12 had some positive attributes and he genuinely liked the car.
Yeah, but Doc Brown was also an eccentric who was regarded as a crackpot by basically the entire town, he’s meant to have strange notions and offbeat tastes
Very true. I suppose he would fit in pretty well around here. 🙂
I think Marty’s incredulity was letting the audience know that he’s “in on the joke” of the DeLorean’s awfulness. Doc, who is spacey at the best of times, probably legitimately thinks the DeLorean is awesome. Plus, whatever else one may (accurately) say about the DeLorean, it was a good-looking car.
Yes, but Doc’s version of the DeLorian was run by Mr. Fusion(tm), not the anemic V6 that the DMC-1 was saddled with from the factory.
I’d argue that in 1985, most people (other than car nerds) had never seen a live DMC-12 and knew nothing about its build quality, reliability, or performance. They’d probably heard about the cocaine bust, though.
They sold 6,700 of them in the US over two years, that’s not a lot, but it’s not nothing (comparable to global Porsche 911 volume at the time), they were around, and dealers also steeply discounted their stock in 1983 to clear inventory, as they were showroom poison by then.
Re the mean Tesla “enthusiast” comments in the article, the internet dopamine machine strikes again.
I always wonder if these people save their best comments and re-read them later & try to explain to others they know in the real world.
“Yeah, I showed that guy.” “Showed which guy?” “You know that car reviewer guy who said he didn’t like what I liked.” “Huh?” “I forget his name, but you know…” “When?” “Oh like 3 years ago.”
How many members of Elon’s personality cult will even be able to afford this thing in the event that they actually build it? The only people who were every going to buy it were the kind of people who would pay 5 times the price for anything Tesla-branded, but the Vaporwaretruck is going to require people to sell their houses to buy one.
I don’t care what people say, I still want to see these in traffic to spice up my commute. I don’t have any interest in owning one personally, but I still look forward to seeing them break up the sea of grey/silver/black SUVs.
But this is basically a silver SUV, just a really stupid one.
Is it going to come in … colors?
Do any Teslas come in colors? Every Model 3 and Model Y I see is either fleet van white or vinyl wrapped
I think the white is free and any other color is quite a bit extra, which is why you see them mostly in white.
Which is a totally reasonable policy for anything other than a Model T
Every color as long as it’s dented silver.
I imagine dent “repair” for stainless steel means panel replacement.
Like a rainbow ?
You obviously don’t commute by bike or foot, because this thing is an absolute Pedestrian Abattoir. Look at those A pillars indeed.
It does look like they designed it to kill people on purpose …
You’ll see him but he won’t see you with all those blind spots. I’d give him some space.
I ride my bike with the assumption that everyone is trying to kill me. But few of them have such a deadly weapon to do so.
We need to admit: Tesla became car world’s Apple. Not in a good sense.
Only other place where you can see similar arguments are in iPhone/Android users interaction.
But, this is is Tesla being Tesla. Eventually they deliver what they said, after they iron out the issues. Probably is this bad because they are also developing some new building process at the same time they develop a new car.
Hopefully, but they are not known for panel gap fitment or build quality in general, so maybe it is just the way it is.
In what sense are they being like Apple? Apple would never in a million years release or even show anything that looked as shitty as this and/or was as poorly made as this. Maybe some of the shit build issues on the outside are fixable but as far as I know, we’re not seeing any of the gremlins on the interior.
Pretty sure it was a comment on the ferocity of the fan base, not anything about the products themselves. Apple is probably one of only a couple other companies in the world whose fans are anywhere near as rabid and aggressive as Tesla fans.
You got that right.
Apple and Tesla fans are akin to religious nuts, because religion is simply believing something incredible with absolutely no basis in fact, usually because there’s a promise of something good that will eventually be bestowed on those that hold that particular belief.
Believing in the CyberTruck is slightly more reasonable than believing in God, because a few CTs actually exist. They might actually do a few good things, such as moving people from one place to another. (God, on the other hand, is indifferent at best and often extremely cruel.)
Fanbase. Apple is almost a cult, Tesla is going to the same way.
Also, the first iPhone (damn I am getting old) was bad compared to competition: no 3G, MMS, etc. If you look at Nokias and HTCs of that time, that were a lot of better alternatives.
Also, several MacBooks suffered from defects (keyboard, screen, overheating, etc).
I am not saying Apple shows something that looks Tesla level bad. The issues appear later in use…
No wireless. Less space than a Nomad. Lame.
See the tesla-stans geeking out about blind spot monitoring finally being added last month to their supposedly pinnacle of technology cars.
Just like every time Apple adds a 7 year old Android feature
Eventually they deliver what they said? Robotaxis? Fixing brain damage with computers? FSD? Ending world hunger? Ventilators for COVID patients? Saving kids from a flooded cave? Semitrucks? THE ROADSTER?
Well to be fair, Pepsi is using the Tesla semi. You did forget the Elon mission to mars and the Hyperloop.
See, that’s what I get for rage-typing. 🙂
I don’t know if you are old enough to remember when Tesla announced Model S and what people people said about the feasibility of that at that price point.
Eventually, they delivered the cars, after some delays, at the price they announced. Sure, that is a lot of BS that comes from Elon’s mouth, like FSD, that will take a looooong time to be what is supposed to be, if they do.
Sure. Tesla has delivered somethings sometimes. I was arguing with the apparent belief that they always delivered.
Also, yes, I am old as hell, thank you for the reminder. 🙂
Why is the rear view mirror on that giant…thing?
The circus music of the Cybertruck in action just MAKES that video.
I instantly started hearing that re-watching the video after you said it.
*thinks “If I can’t say anything nice, I won’t say anything at all…”*
…
…
The tires seem to be holding air really well.
Now that you mentioned the tires I’m thinking of that sidewall pattern… Yup, tires holding air real well.
I noticed that sidewall pattern too. Figure this is going to be a vehicle for which there is only one (extremely expensive) tire available?
I don’t care what anyone else thinks. As far as I’m concerned it’s not a real Saab.
What a Snaab…
Saaber Truck
A throughly Ballardian design, and even more so in matt black.
A copy of fake of an original that never existed. Yep.
Sorry, misread, thought it was Baudrillardian.
Special tires to go with the wheel design? That ain’t gonna be cheap.
And gonna look terrible if they’re not lined up juuuuust right
That way they will fit in with the build quality of the rest of the vehicle.
Remember when people criticized the Dustbuster vans for just how much dashboard was under the windshield? Just sayin’
And that windshield wiper! What is that, three feet long?!? At least the dustbusters had two wipers.
I remember reading in Car and Driver when those first came out, and a replacement windshield was something like $1600.
I can’t believe they designed a truck where a tonneau cover eliminates all rearward visibility. Between that and the blind spots caused by the enormous pillars, this thing has to be a challenge to drive. I hope Tesla perfects autonomous driving before releasing this to the public.
Based on Elon’s timelines for both Cybertruck release date and “Full level 5 autonomy” being rolled out “next year”, that may actually be the case by 2053!
Yeah it looks like shit.
But hey, those hubcaps/wheels really are way cool!
/s
They’re a unique choice. Like them or not, the way they protrude from the tire means they are asking for curb-rash.
In Musk’s America, the curbs get rashed!
But take them off pavement and…
It feels like a prototype that has obviously fake panels on it to hide the true shape. “We’ll just slap these on. No one can know what it looks like til we’re ready.”
I always think it looks like some nutjob prepper made an “armored” vehicle in his garage by soldering random hunks of sheet metal over his car.
“Calling Mr. T to the production floor. Mr. T, to the production floor.”
It looks like the prop from a movie about a prepper that makes an armored vehicle in his garage.
Or a background vehicle from MegaForce.
I had the same thought. More effective camo than what they use on most mules.
But that leads us to two possibilities at this point:
1) This is more of an early mule, and they’re not nearly as close to production as they’d like the public to know OR…
2) It is just that atrociously poorly built.
-gravel voice- “I’m Batman.”
“No you’re not.”
Wow. That’s unfortunate. And that’s not even considering the build. It has all the grace of a mud fence.