Back in 2012, I realized there was a non-zero chance that I was entering into a new phase of life. I decided to name myself in preparation of that eventuality, choosing to stick with the first name that came to my mind. Perhaps it was foolish — or fate — to do this while driving a Smart because I looked down at the badge on the steering wheel and “Mercedes” was born. It’s caused heartwarming hilarity since I started writing about vehicles.
People are quick to point out that Mercedes isn’t just the name of a car company, but the name of Mercédès Jellinek, the daughter of Emil Jellinek. Other people have to stop a conversation to talk about my name. We make a lot of phone calls in this business and a lot of folks end up asking “wait, that’s your real name?”
To be fair to my old self, I never knew I’d end up in this industry! Anyway, this matters because having the name of a prominent brand also makes for sometimes hilarious headlines. If you don’t put “Mercedes-Benz” in a headline, it sounds like I’m always up to some shenanigans.
StillNotATony got me to laugh:
You have GOT to stop writing just Mercedes and write Mercedes-Benz.
I saw the headline and immediately thought “Oh God. She bought a W12 Phaeton, didn’t she.”
If I could find a Phaeton W12 for the dirt-cheap prices I buy cars at, you’ll hear about it from the rooftops!
Fellow VAG masochist Kyree also made a reference to the headline. Aww, thank you!:
Fortunately, our own resident writer Mercedes–by contrast–is as excellent as she’s ever been.
This morning, Lewin published a piece about how Australians can use dashcam footage to report bad driving behavior. There was a lot of debate in that comment section, but V10omous got us with this one:
I’d like to report a bunch of people driving on the wrong side of the road.
This morning, Jason wrote about what might be the lamest car accessory ever sold. If you had an air-cooled Beetle without a fuel gauge, you could buy the Remington Products (Canada) Ltd GAS-MINDER, which was literally just a magnet with “ON RESERVE” printed on it. That’s all fine and dandy, except as Canopysaurus points out:
If you’re the kind of person who forgets you’re running on reserve, you are also the kind of person who will forget to put your magnetic reminder up, especially if you’ve stuck it beneath the dash.
Stryker_T disagrees, you could totally get infinite fuel, right?:
I bet if you had this magnet and a Fuel Shark®, you would never have to buy gas ever again!
Have a great evening, everyone!
I know a few Mercedes. They all say it with the Castilian lisp so it sounds like Merthedes
speaking of names though, I was almost named Rock, the dichotomy between the way Rock just sounds and my real given name does randomly make me wonder how my life might have been different. lol
I also went to university with a woman named Mercedes. It’s really not that unusual a name.
In college I knew someone named Mercedes but she went by Mercy which, not coincidentally, is roughly what it translates to in English. So, maybe that would be a way to informalize/simplify/clarify. People always thought she said “Marcy”, though, so there’s that problem.
pretty badass nickname though, tbh
Is your middle name Benz? Or is it Inthe?
Your content is always great! Thanks for all you do.
oh, nice, I didn’t think I’d ever write something worth repeating on one of these. lol
My daughter’s name is Mercedes and she used to work for Ford Motor Credit. This made for all sorts of hilarious confusion. I remember one story where a customer she had talked to previously called back and told whoever answered that “Mercedes told me…” to which the service rep responded “Sir, this is Ford, we can’t help you with your Mercedes loan.”
Sir, this is an Arby’s.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
I am reminded of the classic film A Fish Called Wanda: “He’s so stupid that when he heard your daughter’s name was Portia, he asked, ‘Why did they name her after a car?'”
I’ve encountered a person named Porsche before
My daughter’s middle name is Mercedes, but my wife wanted to make it her first name. I disagreed, but I don’t remember why.
I hope her first name is not Benz.
Mercedes is in use in Hispanic countries, although it is a sort of “old-fashioned”, but elegant and dignified, name. 🙂
For a more civilized age?
Being named Morgan is not quite as confusing, considering how niche a manufacturer they are.
I said it before, and I’ll say again: “Mercedes”, without anything else, is our writer. The one needing disambiguation is that German company. “Mercedes, the manufacturer, loses big”.
Also, with headlines like that, please include a caption that says “Mercedes herself still doing great”, because some of us might miss part of the headline and be worried.
“Why should <Mercedes> change? <Mercedes-Benz> is the one who sucks!”
It was perfectly fine until that no-talent ass-clown became famous and started building garbage cars!
As I age, I get more and more excited when people catch my ancient subreferences.
Thank you.
You knoiw, you can just call me Merc.
Would that be pronounced “murk” or “murse”?
Oh man, I hate it when people shorten Mercedes to Merc. Merc means Mercury! And usually only in the context of lead sleds.
Thank you. It bothers me more than it should when people do that…
Fwiw, I know by second degree a real-life Mercedes, name as such at birth. So, like. It could be her with all the blobby EQSUSUSSUS-classes. Plus if the two of you ran into each other on your upcoming Plymouth voyage that could be a head-on Mercedes crash!
…why did that sound so hopeful?
Gosh I’m excited for your new adventure. Autopian Bad Buy: Self-Inflicted Shitbox Showdown Adventure: Let’s Go! is long overdue.
I’m really hoping it makes a stop by, I love polishing metal more than is probably healthy.
Mercedes is also the name of Heather Graham in License to Drive…I love the Caddy and the Vdub Cabriolet in that…classic!
Heather Graham er uh, Caddy and VW Cabriolet, you say…
Yeah, you got it…I mean, she was smoking hot in that movie; just like the cars!
I never saw that movie but I am aware of it from pop culture and the like, and all this time I had it in my head that Mercedes was played by Meredith Salenger.
[I refuse to cheat by looking up the IMDB.]
We just need a writer named Benz for maximum brand confusion. Or at least Ben Z.
“Mercedes, Ben Z Embark on Overlanding Adventure”
At a glance, you expect a factory overlanding Sprinter. Instead, you are pleasantly surprised to learn it’s two Autopian writers showing how they can cross all sorts of terrain in a lifted Smart full of camping gear.
We also need a writer named “Portia”
Like the character John Cleese’s daughter played in “A Fish Called Wanda”…
…or Ellen’s Wife.
Mercedes, you may want to buy a Phaeton, but I, for one, am very grateful that all you bought was an 80 year old Plymouth.
One of those will be slightly cheaper to keep in running condition.
Here in Vegas, both Mercedes and Lexus are common pseudonyms for women who dance around poles while removing their clothing.
Sort of like Alexis, I mean “A Lexus” Texas…if you know, you know…also the new Lexus “model” which I would love to try for a “test ride”
I’ve been trying so hard not to mention this, but on my Great Unemployment TV Voyage, I’m watching South Park. In season 7 or 8 there’s an episode called Raisins, a grotesquely underage send-up of Hooters, in which every girl’s name is Porsche, Lexus, Mercedes.
To defend my Autopian honor, I was trying to think of BMW ones: Biima? Bayerische(feminine diminutive)?
Dang, in the course of typing this I realized I know another other legit Mercedes person in real life.
How about a British dancer called Leyland? Or Rita Over? A very small dancer called Cooper? And to keep it inclusive, a dancer named Trevor (this is the actual origin of TVR’s name).
(Although we’ve already had Diana Rigg as Mrs Peel.)
Is this the line-up of the monthly burlesque night at The Red Tail-light?
Secret agent Brough, Vincent Brough.
Lotus?
Ooo, that’s what I’m gonna call it when I get laid off.
“For our next steamy number, please give a big round applause to our newest dancer, Scania Magirus!”
You left out all the good stuff! lol