Home » The Automotive World’s Biggest Example Of Magical Thinking Are These Tires

The Automotive World’s Biggest Example Of Magical Thinking Are These Tires

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In my many, many years of seeing old cars in museums and really scrutinizing and drinking in every possible little detail, there’s one that always stands out in my mind. It’s a detail that you don’t see on every vintage car, but appears mostly on early 1900s cars to 1920s cars, usually, and it’s on the tires. Specifically, the tread of those tires. The reason this detail always stays with me is that it feels somewhat irrational, almost like a superstitious or even quasi-religious totem. The detail? Tire treads that read NON SKID.

Yes, that’s right, the treads of the tires, instead of being made based on the surprisingly complex science of tire treads, which affects handling and water displacement and traction and involves things like tread blocks and grooves and sipes, instead simply has molded into the rubber of the tire big block letters that spell out NON SKID as though somehow the act of writing this wish on the tire will make it real.

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It almost feels Kabbalistic to me; in the legend of the Golem, the old Jewish myth about a being made of clay that can be brought to life in a sort of robot-like level of artificial living, one of the traditional ways this could work would be to inscribe the Hebrew word for truth on its forehead, emmet, and to kill it, you erase the first letter, an aleph, leaving met, which means “dead.” That’s the kind of thing these old tires remind me of, Kabbalistic magical reasoning, which is generally not something I associate with tires.

Here’s a whole video about tire tread design, just to really drive home the idea that you can’t really just put anything on a tire and hope it’ll just work:

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Well, except maybe you can, in at least one case. If what you’re replacing are tires with no tread pattern whatsoever, then, yeah, almost anything will do a better job. And that’s sort of the era that these NON SKID tires, pioneered by Firestone in 1908, came into existence. Here, for comparison, look at this old ad for Michelin tires, which features another quasi-religious icon, Bibendum, the Michelin man, here giving of himself unto a kneeling supplicant, as Bibendum selflessly gives of his own body-tires to help a motorist in need.

Bibendum Ad

See how those tires lack any sort of tread at all? Tires were once like that. Then, tire manufacturers soon realized that having rubber chunks (tread blocks) and little slits (sipes) helped the tires grip much better than smooth rubber, so a wild period of tread experimentation was begun.

All sorts of designs and patterns were tried, and while I don’t think a lot of careful, scientific studies were undertaken, some of these patterns did work well enough, just by chance, really.

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Also, did you know Converse, makers of the famous sneaker, made tires? They still do! So, if big Xs and +s and more ornate shapes worked okay as tire treads, why not the words NON SKID?

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Sometimes Firestone included their whole name in the NON SKID tires (see the yellowed ad above), which gave them a bit of free advertising – if inverted – when the tires rolled over soft ground or mud or snow. They pointed the NON SKID tracks out in a number of old ads:

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Firestone explained the magic behind the NON SKID text working by noting, in some ads, that

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“The rubber lettering that is moulded right into the tread of this tire presents a mass of angles, edges, hollows and points of contact that grip the surface of the road, giving perfect traction and holding your car safe from skidding as no other tire can.”

Did Firestone of 1908 or so actually do rigorous, scientific testing to prove that NON SKID in block letters was really the optimal design for maximum grip and and handling and safety? No. I mean, I wasn’t there, but at that time in the tire industry? No. But was the NON SKID tread also good enough, especially for cars at the time, like the Model T, which had the handling and performance characteristics of an upright piano set between two bicycles? Absolutely.

I still can’t shake the magical thinking aspect of these tires, and that’s why I love them. In fact, I’d like it if this sort of thinking had been more common, with radiators stamped KEEP COOL and engine blocks cast with the words NEVER BRAKE and brake rotors perforated with cooling holes that spelled STOP TRUE in dot-matrix letters.

Maybe it wouldn’t really do anything, but what could it hurt?

 

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Jonathan Hendry
Jonathan Hendry
6 months ago

The NONSKID pattern would probably work better if the O had channels cut out of it to let the water/mud flow out rather than being caught in a pocket.

I still can’t shake the magical thinking aspect of these tires, and that’s why I love them. In fact, I’d like it if this sort of thinking had been more common, with radiators stamped KEEP COOL and engine blocks cast with the words NEVER BRAKE and brake rotors perforated with cooling holes that spelled STOP TRUE in dot-matrix letters.”

My engine’s cylinder walls are engraved to say “ALWAYS SMOOTH”

Manwich Sandwich
Manwich Sandwich
6 months ago

Also, did you know Converse, makers of the famous sneaker, made tires? They still do! “

I checked out their website and it seems they basically make one tire… an all season tire.

And their website sucks. Tried to find a listing of all the available sizes and couldn’t find it

When I clicked where to buy, they only seem to have one reseller (simpletire.com)

And this is all they had was one “SUV tire”
https://simpletire.com/brands/converse-tires

And when I look at what sizes are available for that one tire they have:
https://simpletire.com/brands/converse-tires/qr700-suv

They only have two sizes.

So it’s clear that Converse isn’t serious at all about selling tires.

Their selection and availability sucks.

And on that link, I found a Q&A about that tire… and one of the questions was “Who makes this tire?”

And the answer is:
“Gladiator QR700-SUV tires are made by American Pacific Industries, Inc., who also makes Zenna and X Comp”

So in reality, Converse does NOT make their own tires. They just slap their name on a tire someone else makes.

And their approach to the vehicle tire market appears to be half-assed at best.

Tagarito
Tagarito
6 months ago

I want my engine brake please, thank you. That’s why I will always get manuals until showrooms sell all electric. By then it’s regen brake all the way

Boxing Pistons
Boxing Pistons
6 months ago

“Bibendum selflessly gives of his own body-tires to help a motorist in need.” The artist must’ve been a Catholic tripping balls. “This is my body which I have given up for you.” It’s also ironic like those BBQ joints that have a smiling pig as a mascot.

Jonathan Hendry
Jonathan Hendry
6 months ago
Reply to  Boxing Pistons

Needs some entrails spilling out of the gap.

MAX FRESH OFF
MAX FRESH OFF
6 months ago
Reply to  Boxing Pistons

I had breakfast yesterday at a diner that opened in 1948. Not only did it have smiling pig as a mascot, it had a giant plaster sculpture of a smiling pig outside on the sidewalk. I got a plate of chicken fried steak, eggs and hashbrowns and it was the size of a toilet seat.

Mollusk
Mollusk
6 months ago
Reply to  MAX FRESH OFF

By getting CFS rather than ham you made the pig happy. Eggs are just a PITA for chickens.

Grey alien in a beige sedan
Grey alien in a beige sedan
6 months ago

The Michelin man looks bad ass in that ad. Not only does he look like an albino kool-aid man, he’s chomping on a stogie as if he were a member of the A-team prepping for a tough battle. Better change the tires on the team’s van!

Jesus Chrysler drives a Dodge
Jesus Chrysler drives a Dodge
6 months ago

Bibendum is such a great name. Not only does it sound like a bouncing tire, it’s rooted in “to drink,” and in fact early ads showed him with a glass in hand. Until someone figured out that a cigar-chomping, champagne-swilling spokesman may not have been a paragon of safety.

AnscoflexII
AnscoflexII
4 months ago

Those glasses were usually full of nails and shards of glass-the idea was that Bibendum would just drink up all of these puncture hazards.

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
6 months ago

Lions last longest? Not when the Lion is about to eat the tire and has it’s claws in it, ha ha
I love the Firestone ad w/ the car driving on the sidewall of the tire

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
6 months ago

I’m pretty sure I learned the word skid from the tires on one of my grandfather’s Tin Lizzys.

Aaron Headly
Aaron Headly
6 months ago

You can still buy drivable replicas of these tires (from Coker). Fitment can be a bitch.

Flyingstitch
Flyingstitch
6 months ago

With the mattress and cantaloupes from yesterday’s cold start, followed by the piano between bicycles, Jason’s handling simile game this week is like a meth-addled squirrel piloting a bumper car.

Oh, and Bibendum up there provides the first recorded example of a smoking tire.

Last edited 6 months ago by Flyingstitch
Chronometric
Chronometric
6 months ago

Like Jason I am torn between the whimsy and marketing genius of NON-SKID and the obvious suboptimal qualities of a safety item.

Sara Sherrard
Sara Sherrard
6 months ago

I love that lion! Claws and all. Thanks.

Captain Muppet
Captain Muppet
6 months ago

“If what you’re replacing are tires with no tread pattern whatsoever, then, yeah, almost anything will do a better job.”

Tyres with no tread pattern at all grip tarmac really well, up to a certain width, at which point wet grip gets worse but dry grip increases.

Jb996
Jb996
6 months ago
Reply to  Captain Muppet

You’re pedantically referring to which perfectly paved tarmac that existed in 1908?

Speed records of the day were set on beaches!
I think I’ll give Jason this one; every road was rough at that time, and tread would always be better.

Captain Muppet
Captain Muppet
6 months ago
Reply to  Jb996

The first tarmac road was 1902.

LMCorvairFan
LMCorvairFan
6 months ago
Reply to  Captain Muppet

Jason needs to do a deep dive on the origins of tarmac road surfacing.

Captain Muppet
Captain Muppet
6 months ago

These tyres don’t work by science, they work like a prayer wheel, every rotation is dozens of prayers not to skid.

Hoonicus
Hoonicus
6 months ago

Kelly dun lopped along fer a good year all state till a cooper said to get the tread. Now she’ll fire stone.

Space
Space
6 months ago

Are the notifications for replies broken for anyone else?

Morgan van Humbeck
Morgan van Humbeck
6 months ago
Reply to  Space

Very

Space
Space
6 months ago

Thanks, I got a notification for this but it appears that after I click it they disappear forever. Fascinating.

Morgan van Humbeck
Morgan van Humbeck
6 months ago
Reply to  Space

Yeah, same here. Every time I open the page I get to pick one person to respond to lol

Totally not a robot
Totally not a robot
6 months ago

I should not have read this article while sitting in bed. That Michelin man is going to haunt my dreams tonight.

AssMatt
AssMatt
6 months ago

Yes, the cufflinks are a classy touch to match the spectacles, but why does it have a human hand?!

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
6 months ago

I can’t get over the fact that they wrote NON-SKID on the tires instead of mirroring it so the tracks it left behind were legible.

AlterId
AlterId
6 months ago

That Michelin ad looks like it’s depicting a roadside service call from the viewpoint of Bibendum as a tech who’s tripping balls of such magnitude that he can deal a tire out of his torso like a playing card from a deck. I’m convinced that this ad contributed to the moral panic that led the French to ban absinthe in 1915.

Col Lingus
Col Lingus
6 months ago
Reply to  AlterId

But where do the valve stems come out?

Usernametaken
Usernametaken
6 months ago

The same approach did not bear fruit when applied to my underwear

Last edited 6 months ago by Usernametaken
Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
6 months ago

I’d like a fuel tank stamped with “never empty.”

Jb996
Jb996
6 months ago
Reply to  Canopysaurus

I like this, like there is an alternate reality where runes and markings are needed for things to function.
Brakes inscribed with STOP, steering wheel with TURN, etc.
Technological progress consists of things like:
Nano-inscription. Now, with more runes per area than the competition, stopping power has never been better!
Bentley sells their cars as being hand inscribed by a master magician, guaranteeing top quality.

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
6 months ago

Did Firestone make the tires for the Ford GT90 concept I wonder…

Old Busted Hotness
Old Busted Hotness
6 months ago

I can’t believe you overlooked Pennsylvania Vacuum Cup Cord tires! Grip for days!

Hugh Crawford
Hugh Crawford
6 months ago

Anyone remember these? They were popular in my neighborhood.

https://www.amazon.com/Nirve-Cruiser-Bicycle-Black-26-Inch/dp/B000QFOMJE

Presumably to avoid running over cats?

Last edited 6 months ago by Hugh Crawford
Slower Louder
Slower Louder
6 months ago

I’ve considered it carefully and would just ask the assembled multitude, how could you do any better than “a mass of angles, edges, hollows and points of contact?” I think that’s taken care of.

Jason, what a wonderful load of historical material you have provided us today! Not sure we’re worthy but we must strive to be.

AND: I received my birthday robot at the beginning of my birthday month! Holy moly, the efficiency! And a reprise of last year’s Ford LTD as well! Which was the proverbial icing, right?

XOXO love you guys!

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
6 months ago

But what if I need some engine braking?

Chronometric
Chronometric
6 months ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

Perhaps Jason is not a proponent of the Jake Brake.

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