We use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. We do this to improve browsing experience and to show (non-) personalized ads. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
C’mon, man. My favorite Torch rabbit-hole posts have often dealt with the scatological and risqué. I’m NOT your editor, but I’m an editor on another website and I’m pro-the use of “jerking off” on here. Jorkin’ your peanuts is what it is, and in this song’s context, it’s the accurate term.
This is still a funny euphemism, though. I know I personally err on the side of “my mother reads this” in my writing, but even my very conservative family probably wouldn’t bat an eye at seeing “jerking off” in an article, plus I’d trust the folks on here to exercise good judgement on what’s too much versus what’s just fine.
So if your Onan engine is acting up, can you reference the late, great Sean Locke and call it ‘a challenging wank?’
https://youtu.be/Nrty2XITqTE?si=au64WeCJokmXPBMf
What, not a single PowerStroke joke in there?
Excellent punch line.
I was expecting more about eels.
Who was it (Jalopnik) that referred to a new Jaguar as the “latest pussy”?
Yeeeeesh. Yuck. Turbo-yuck.
Gosh, I hope it’s not Jalopnik. That’s the kind of off-putting gross car sexualization we used to tell people to avoid in the frickin’ style guide! Leave that garbage up to journosaurs who go on weird mid-review tangents about their wife leaving them. There’s enough of those still around, unfortunately. The Kids don’t need to pick up that bad, lazy habit.
It was in the early days of Jalopnik. I almost quit checking in because of all the juvenile stuff.
Ahhhhh, yeah. That was probably before my time, and before the industry as a whole had a bit more self-reflection in the books. Hell, I know I have some verbiage in print that I regret in hindsight, too.
No worries, the writing these days is outa the park. In a good way.
Useful read this. I learned that Onan’s one-stroke engine company has been sold to Cummings. I will make sure to pepper this into conversation at my next fund raiser party in high society, thoroughly amazing my interlocutors.
Years ago I used “jactuators” in some machinery that I designed – the shop had a field day at first, but then came to appreciate the funny and descriptive brand name these things could move tons like a jack, but were readily actuated with electricity. Although it looks like the current brand owners have given up on this distinctive brand name – and you need to buy true jactuators on the secondary market: https://obtainsurplus.com/all/duff-norton-actuator-ltm-9020-15-worm-gear-jactuator-20-ton-screw-jack-000081223008ff23ls?srsltid=AfmBOor_anyoXdoaWsmZHqf-WI9AI-Lvnvvhzh9DwcPEP0sY53cJ5klv
The comments seem to have covered couch hockey for one pretty well so I’ll talk about Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah instead.
Many many artists have covered this and to me none have come close to the original.
Also, it’s mostly covered and played as a religious song. It certainly uses religious metaphors but it’s really about sex and love lost.
That’s clearer if you listen to some of the alternate / extended versions he did.
“There was a time you let me know
What’s really going on below,
Ah but now you never show it to me, do you?
Yeah but I remember, yeah when I moved in you,
And the holy dove, she was moving too,
Yes every single breath that we drew was Hallelujah.”
That’s certainly not the right sentiment for a wedding.
I read he wrote something like 80 verses for that song. Every time I hear a version that uses one or the “non standard” verses, it makes me smile.
I’m kind of partial to Pentatonix’s rendition.
“I’m one of those people who does legitimately believe The Bible is the greatest story ever told…”
Someone clearly hasn’t read “I Can’t Said the Ant”.
This may be the best TFTS yet
Just a quick reminder:
Crank Shaft. There’s a reason it’s two words instead of one.
“I’m one of those people who does legitimately believe The Bible is the greatest story ever told”
To each their own. I thought it boring and grossly over rated.
It’s like Infinite Jest without the fun vocabulary
I’ll take your word for it.
You can’t miss it, it’s at the beginning.
Brewster’s angle?
Definitely not a fast paced action novel if that’s what you’re into.
I can’t believe I missed this. I don’t know who this onan guy is, but fuck if I don’t Rev his engine way too regularly.
I am writing the petition to have this included in the AP Stylebook right now.
I started laughing at the term “honking your goose” and haven’t stopped. Well done, everyone, though I’ll light a candle for Galpin’s HR people.
Hospitals suck for a variety of reasons.
Mainly because there’s lots of bodily fluids flying around, but not the fun ones.
And a lot of groaning, but not from wanking.
And any diety who would make sex and masturbation pleasant but against the rules is a narcissistic masochist, unworthy of my belief.
I feel sorry for the T-Rexes tho – No wonder they were so cranky.
Honking your goose. That’s gold.