Remember at last year’s Los Angeles Pan-Galactic Automobiles Show, when Autopian researchers conclusively proved you could cram a metric nutsload of delicious, pinktabulous, chewy shrimp into a huge wheelbarrow? Remember how scores of people came by to indulge in the shrimpy glory, and had their lives changed for the vastly better with every juicy, shrimptabulous mouthful? If you couldn’t make it, remember how the yawning emptiness felt? Remember that chasm inside you that you knew could only be filled with the one-two punch of shrimp and the companionship of fellow Autopians? Sure you do.
Well, fantastic news: it’s happening again, for the first time! This Thursday, at 1:30 pm in the dazzling Autopian Oasis at the LA Auto show, the Shrimpbarrow will return, and it’ll be joined by sliders and mac and cheese orbs and chicken skewers and fruit cups other delights, including the boundless love of your favorite Autopians, who will be there, just for you!
There may also be a special pastry-related surprise I’m not certain will actually happen, so I can’t tell you about it, but if it does, boy will I be thrilled.
Just so we're all on the same page, the wheelbarrow full of shrimp is returning to the LA Auto Show. FYI, if you're at the show on Thursday between 1:30 – 2:30 pm come by for sliders, mac and cheese balls, and a wheelbarrow full of shrimp. pic.twitter.com/2t4mjS3Nsc
— MattHardigree (@MattHardigree) November 14, 2023
Now, this is the Media event, open just to those trapped in the cruel grip of the Fourth Estate and, of course, a few select Autopian Members that have been hand-selected to infiltrate the press days. Of course, if you had a good childhood and your parents loved you and you didn’t end up as an automotive journalist, there’s still a way for you to join in some special LA Auto Show Magic!
That way is to come by the Autopian Oasis Friday and meet us and play a few rounds of Autopian Car Trivia and win a t-shirt or perhaps a hug or maybe a stern talking-to from David or an energetic wave from Mercedes, or an eye-roll from Thomas, or a sales pitch from Matt, or a creepy, lingering stare from me! The possibilities are endless!
The important thing is that right now, with all the horror and chaos and misery in the world, there’s still hope. And maybe that hope is a bold, powerful, life-affirming wheelbarrow full of shrimp.
It’s Friday, November 17th and I’m seeing the Shrimp-Barrow will be back at the LA Auto Show! …yesterday.
I’m devastated I missed this article and ask that it reappear in 2024. It’s truly one of the Great Bits of our time.
“Unfortunately, nobody remembered to hose the wheelbarrow after last year’s show” was the line I kept waiting to appear in the story.
I will say I, personally, did not ask for the shrimp. Intolerance. Even though I am unable to attend, I am glad I saw there are options that I can eat.
But will David eat the shrimp in the shower?
Nice spot! Everyone will have to walk by the sweet smell of dead crustaceans.
As I see this article, someone has heated up some kind of seafood dish in the office microwave and now I’m trying not to hurl.
For those of you who have not met any of the staff before you’re in for a treat. Sadly work and personal obligations prevented me from applying to be an infiltrator.
Enjoy the show!
I was tardy last year & missed the camarones, but as an infiltrating “select member” I will at least witness, if not eat from, the Barrow of Wheel on Thursday!
Congrats!
I have never wanted to live in Los Angeles more.
I’m allergic to shellfish and would go into anaphylactic shock. Should I take the title of this article as a death threat, or kind of a royal “you”? I thought Torch was a good guy.
Nah, any open invitation to interact with Autopian staf/member cars is a potential tetanus death threat, so you are not alone 🙂
Great, more wasted food.
And fuck autoplay videos.
Oh don’t worry. Any shrimp not eaten by humans will become cat food. Whatever the cats don’t eat will become opossum food. Whatever the opossum don’t eat will be left to molder
in the back of a derelict Jeep until it’s fragrant and sketchy enough for a pack of stray dogs.
Nature’s vacuum cleaners.
Once not so long ago the guy with the creepy lingering stare had a white van filled with with free candy, now its a wheelbarrow filled with free shrimp.
I also seem to recall a different staff remember with a van full of 10mm sockets (a gag I will never tire of no matter how many times I see it).
This is actually a better draw… a wheelbarrow full of 10mm sockets from varous suppliers. Grab the one you lost a long time ago!!!!
is the shrimpbarrow available at lumiere rouge
Okay, so there will be a wheelbarrow of shrimp, but what about shower spaghetti? When will this delicacy be made available?
THE PEOPLE DEMAND NOODS*!
*shower noodles, you perverts, put your clothes back on
Fine… 🙁
That’s ‘preverts’, I’ll have you know
It’s Snoods! God, Stef! Who’s the pervert now with your Freudian slip? Still me? Fair enough.
Egads, that sounds like the part of the internet that absolutely has to exist but I am not going to check where Rule 34-poisoned brains imagine the little Reddit mascot guy in completely unwholesome situations.
So, probably Tumblr.
Yea it’s gotta be Tumblr. Either that or Twitter. I remember years ago when the furries came for Tony the Tiger on Twitter. Pun absolutely intended. It was so damn weird.
Shrimp + Spaghetti… Plus some EVOO and seasoning (salt, black cracked pepper, fresh garlic) makes for a delish dish!
Red pepper on mine, please!
You eat shower noodles clothed?!? Eeeewwwwww!!!
Look, if I’m going to wash myself, I might as well wash my clothes. Efficiency!
Just make sure you are wearing Levis…
https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/cleaning-and-organizing/levis-ceo-says-to-wash-jeans-in-the-shower%E2%80%94heres-what-happened-when-i-tried-it/ar-AA1jyOq5
{ recoils in stiff, cardboardy horror }
They should have provided a shower stall (like one of those floor models from Lowe’s) so you could stand in there to eat your mac ‘n’ cheese orbs.
Oh my gosh, this is the biggest missed opportunity of all time.
…unless one of you commandeers one of those truck-side overlanding camp showers at the show.
I’m just stating hypotheticals and do not have bail money for you if you get caught.
*cough*gofundme*cough*
Even if I was hand selected to attend this event I live 5.5 hours away. Do you have any idea how conflicted I would be knowing there was a shrimp-barrow?
Please sprinkle these shrimp-barrow events around so people not living in the LA area can more easily attend. It kills me every time I read about an event at Galpin as I used to live 10 minutes away.
You all have no idea how much I wish I had some PTO saved up at work. I’d point the big black Chrysler down I-5 and come join you. But alas…
Big black 300 for the win. Yessir!
Not the forestry truck?
I’m not driving 1000 miles in that noisy-ass beast. 3000 RPM at 62 MPH? Nope, not gonna do it, wouldn’t be prudent.
Thank you, Mr. Carvey 😀
What else was the shrimpbarrow used for between its debut & this appearance? Hopefully David put it to good use at a few junkyards.
I hate shrimp.
I’m not a big shrimp fan, either. It’s fine and I’m glad the shrimpbarrow has returned to its adoring fans, but…is this what got me ejected from the ranks of the automotive press? I know of other seafoods. Lovely water-meats, like lobster, salmon and goshdarnit, even clams! Beautiful clams! That’s knowing too much. They don’t like that.
What a terrible day to be able to read.
Please, never do that again.
In the world of cats, this is referred to as SeA MeAT. Not sure if that offends more or less than water-meats.
The truly offensive thing about that is the arbitrary capitalization.
MEAT of the SEA!
What, is Charlie chopped liver to you, then?
HE’S ALSO MEAT!
Moist meats?
Meat is moist by default.
Watermeat knowledge only served to get in your way. Who do you think you are? Actually driving and reporting instead of attending fancy media events in fancy locales so Porsche can
bribeinform fancy journalists of fancy things so they devote entire articles to their latest fancy color option for their badges or something. Instead, clams? Race-spec Puffalumps? Shameful, Stef.Oh, gosh. The badge thing. Most of the Big Mad About 992 folks are annoyed at some flimsier-feeling bits, the model bloat and the fact that everything’s a widebody (thus, the base model looks like the Turbo and so on), so…I don’t think cute new badges really address those. Sorry.
To be fair on the last one, like, I like narrowbody 911s, too, but I’ve only heard that brought up as a *main* concern from snobs who are afraid the general public won’t be able to tell how much they spent on one car, sooooo…lol 404 empathy not found. Log off and actually drive your cars. The other concerns are real, though, but those can’t be half-addressed with slick new monochrome badging.
tl;dr—Bring back manual RS cars, nerds.
IMPORTANT ADDENDUM: Bring back the Cayenne Transsyberia and take the Macan Baja racing or you’re all dead to me. You’re all still dead to me for not buying me a Paris-Dakar 959, so then you’d be like…turbodead to me.
(This has been Parsh News Takes With Stef.)
Came for the shrimpbarrow, stayed for the creepy lingering stare.
Real unfortunate reading that as “lingerie”.
Maybe unfortunate for you…
Jellopicnic had its Saucy Minx. The Autopian has its Sexy Crustacean. It tracks, I guess.
OMG I NEED AN AUTOPIAN-BRANDED WHEELBARROW!*
Any chance that could be added to the merch page? 🙂
Hope you guys have fun – I’m looking forward to reading the individual accounts of the event.
* For non-shrimp-related things like yardwork, naturally.
Ooooooo a Autopian ‘shrimp barrow’ that is desktop trinket sized is an excellent swag idea!
Tiny Autopian shrimpbarrow = great Xmas tree ornament!
(hey, can I get one for free if these turn into reality?)
Dual purpose, even better!