The cultural landscape of the 2000s was, in hindsight, frequently ridiculous. After all, it was the decade that brought us Jackass, Nickelback, the Hummer H2, and Xbox Live voice chat. However, when it comes to vehicles that beat their chests harder than they perhaps should, the Dodge Nitro is right up at the top of the charts.
To build the Dodge Nitro, Chrysler essentially took a second-generation Jeep Liberty, stretched the wheelbase, and made it look even more like a Tonka truck. On paper, the promise of a 5,000-pound towing capacity, and a choice of 3.7-liter or four-liter V6s sounded interesting. In practice, let’s just say this thing didn’t exactly age as well as competitors like the Nissan XTerra, thanks in part to its somewhat cheap interior. Consumer Reports wrote that “overall, the Nitro has little going for it, the driving position is awkward, plus fit and finish are subpar.”
As you might expect, sales volumes never kept pace with those of the Jeep Liberty, and the Nitro ended up withdrawing from showrooms in 2011, although it soldiered on through the 2012 model year as a fleet-only special. Still, that didn’t stop Dodge from really trying in the beginning, with an ad campaign that leaned into ridiculousness.
We all remember this commercial, right? A Dodge Nitro comes across a Plymouth Acclaim that needs a jump-start, the two drivers hooks up some jumper cables, and as soon as the Acclaim driver twists the key, that baby blue Plymouth just takes off vertically like a bottle rocket. After five full seconds of hang-time out of shot, the Acclaim lands with the grace of a Kenmore top-loader washing machine falling out of a fourteenth storey window, the driver gets out, and that’s pretty much that.
Here’s another Nitro commercial that falls under the “extreme” profile, with police using a bomb disposal robot to give this thing a parking ticket. The parking ticket then immediately bursts into flames, which would be entertaining in real life if it wouldn’t actually come with melted windshield cowls. It’s a fun play on the nitroglycerine image of the SUV’s name, but probably something you couldn’t get away with today.
However, those testosterone-drenched ads pale in comparison to this one, which starts with a Nitro being dropped from a crane. You know, standard durability test. Except instead of taking the trope of landing completely unharmed, this Nitro crashes through the asphalt below, then through the subway station below that, and then things start to get really weird.
After falling through a cave, how about an underground world featuring a whole bunch of what I can only presume to be head-only Moai tributes? Not gonna lie, this place looks pretty chill, and I’m kinda fascinated by all the bridges. I guess there aren’t many updrafts, but this odd place is nothing compared to what lies ahead.
This scene doesn’t have a discernible Dodge Nitro in it, but it does feature a swamp creature poking its eyeballs above the ooze to see just what’s throwing Cerberus Capital-era Chrysler interior parts into its home. You think it’s bad now, just wait until this guy gets contacted about his SUV’s extended warranty.
I’d love for someone to explain exactly what’s going on here. Some kind of giant subterranean monster that’s obviously a person in a suit trying to swat a falling Nitro, I guess. Is this what hell looks like? I always pictured less of a tiki bar vibe and more torture devices, but that’s just me. Alright, now that this Nitro has fallen through several realms, where does this all end up?
Well, I think this is supposed to be a stereotypical depiction of China in 2006, but the way it’s kinda made cheap and played for laughs feels about as dated as the Dodge Nitro itself. That architecture, for example, isn’t right, but the fact that this is only two scenes away from the monster suit dude raises some questions around where Dodge thinks the center of the Earth is and what it’s like. I mean I guess the marketing team wasn’t a bunch of flat-earthers, but going in linear sequence, the scene right in the middle is the one of the swamp. Bizarre.
Unusually, there is one Dodge Nitro commercial I probably shouldn’t embed here. It was banned in Europe over showing a Dodge Nitro, um, electrocuting a dog that was taking a leak on the Nitro’s tire. It’s comically over-the-top, but still, enter at your own risk.
Looking back at these Dodge Nitro TV commercials is a great reminder of how random and edgy things could be just before the Great Recession, from deodorant to SUVs to beverages. While the mid-aughts don’t always feel like they’re basically 20 years ago, you probably won’t find an automaker advertising like this today, for better or worse.
Top graphic images: Dodge; depositphotos.com
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Shame the car is so boring mashed potatoes seem spicy and exotic.
Really the wrong ad for people who eat gruel exclusively.
Oooh. They could have gotten away with the dog commercial if the dog would have vaporized. I have a great sense of humor but the dead body was over the top.
I will always remember that Nitro jumpstart commercial, mostly for the fact they when the Nitro “gives it some gas”, it is distinctly the sound a v8 and not, you know, one of the engines it could have actually come with. It’s also just a solidly done, quick commercial they got played constantly back in the day.
Still enjoy the top commercial.
Marketing people aren’t normal people. They hired the wrong marketing people. I was once the right marketing people but people didn’t listen
I thought the nitro kinda got the neon treatment more so then the caliber. I think more thought went to marking them the actual cars. You don’t see them anymore. I used to see some definitely more calibers then nitros though.
Dodge Nitro: We Took Some Liberties™
Ah the raw post 9/11 era, when “I’m not afraid you’re afraid I’m tough damnit!” became the national style. No more of the pleasantly capable SUVs of the 90s, things that looked like you should load them up for a BBQ or maybe some fishing; now it was all about feeding our psyches that nobody will attack you/you’ll be safe if you own this.
And with social media still in its infancy, people didn’t have other outlets for that kinda thing yet, so vehicles were perfect for making your statement.
And so Dodge took its first steps into becoming an entire divison that channelled the late 70s Pontiac Firebird ethos.
The dog commercial reminds me of the even more gruesome Ford SportKa cat commercial. I prefer my cars less murdery, thanks!
So I can’t talk you into a gently used 50’s Fury?
Does it come in red?
Well that’s different. They had it coming.
Meh, I’m an animal lover yet found both of those commercials hilarious. Laughing is more fun for me than getting triggered.
I got a good laugh out of the SportKa pigeon commercial that replaced the cat one. Decapitated cats and burning bulldogs are just a bridge too far for me. YMMV.