I have long awaited this day. The day when I have in my hands concrete proof that — despite all the loud, pushy, persistent voices to the contrary — I was right. I’m finally in a position to shut up, once and for all, that miserable and screeching chorus of voices that didn’t believe the global forklift warning light market was worth a damn. Well, haters, listen to this: according to a noted market research and intelligence providing firm, the forklift warning light market is going to reach $296.3 million by 2035 with a pants-filling 5.2% compound annual growth rate (CAGR)!
Are you fucking kidding me? 5.2% CAGR? That’s more than I ever hoped for, and I have always been a huge supporter of the forklift warning light market, and, hell, the whole forklift warning light community and culture overall! Motherfudgers, we are entering the golden age of forklift warning lights, and I hope you’re strapped in and down for one hell of a ride.
[Ed Note: It’s at this point that I have to give a bit of background. The Autopian gets all sorts of emails from various companies who want us to write things about them (we’re grateful for it), and recently we got this one:
As you can see, Jason has chosen to write about this because apparently he thinks this is HUGE news. Or maybe he doesn’t. Honestly, I’m not even sure on this one. -DT].
I remember just a few weeks ago I was out at a fondue restaurant with some friends, and who should show up but one of those guys who seemingly bases their whole miserable personality on being a hater of forklift warning lights and their possible market growth. You know the kind! They’re those jerks that, when near a forklift, give dirty looks and sneer at the use of pretty much any warning lamp, even long-established icons like the rotating or strobing amber lamp, often in one of those bulb cages.
They’re the kind of assholes who, on their personal forklifts, have removed all lamps and lighting, and “run dark” or “cloaked” or whatever bullshit term they call it. They think it’s cool to contradict OSHA but the truth is they’re just unsafe and, as I said, assholes.
Anyway, so this jackass, let’s call him Jack Ash to protect his identity, he overheard me animatedly talking to some friends about some incredible new innovations in forklift warning lamp tech, like these incredible new lights that don’t just shine or flash indiscriminately, but actually project crisp-edged light patterns on the floor around the forklift.
It could be something like this blue disc that the ABL 500 LED Blue light projects, providing ample advanced warning to anyone around the forklift:
…or even these incredible new warning lights that actually project an arc around the perimeter of the forklift:
I mean, come on, this is some groundbreaking forklift warning light shit! But all that is lost on people like Jack Ash, who can’t see past their own inane biases against forklift warning lights and felt compelled to interrupt my conversation.
“Forklift warning lights? What a crock of shit!” Jack bellowed at my table, stunning us all into silence with his profound rudeness.
“Forklift warning lights are for ignorant, ugly babies,” he continued, “and the market for them will never grow, ever! Not even by 1% CAGR!” Then he threw back his head and laughed, a loud, braying cackle that sounded like a dog’s chew toy trapped in the gears of a combine.
“How dare you, Jack,” I replied with genuine passion, a lone tear of rage tracking down my face, “the forklift warning light market, buoyed by advances in warehouse automation and now with inbuilt IoT (internet of things) integration is very likely to see incredible growth – why, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a four or even five percent CAGR!”
But Jack wouldn’t even listen; instead he took the large pot of cheese fondue my friends and I were sharing and decanted it right into my lap, the molten cheese saturating my thick macrame pants and saturating my entire crotch in rich, redolent, golden-colored cheese. Thankfully, my 40% asbestos boxer-briefs protected my genitals from the worst of the assault, but it was still a maddening and humiliating ordeal.
I was told my screams awoke two comatose patients in the hospital, over three miles away. Both chose to return to their comas after being allowed to scroll social media for 15 minutes.
As the cheese cooled, it solidified and pinned me to the wooden bench I was seated on, allowing Jack to exit with impunity. Hours later, after municipal workers chiseled away the cheese that imprisoned me, I vowed to make that sonnovabitch pay for his arrogant dismissal of the forklift warning light market.
And I believe that today, thanks to this bold and encouraging projection, I believe I have. The global forklift warning light market is surging like a motherflapping rocket, with such irrefutable facts such as these backing this up:
” The market for global forklift warning lights grew at a growth rate of 5.2% from 2020 to 2024, and by the end of 2024, it was valued at USD 169.8 million. The stringent regulations related to forklift warning lights is a major factor for the steady increase of the market during the forecast period.”
Those are just facts, bitches. And the forecast of 5.2% growth leading to a total market of $296.3 million, with a North American market share as of 2025 being and incredible 34.6% – things really have never looked better for the forklift warning light market. And this growth isn’t just based on hope and guesswork – there’s stringent safety regulations that are well-enforced industry-wide that will make this happen!
So let me make this as fucking clear as I possibly can: all you pessimistic assholes and jackasses that are out there belittling or demeaning or downplaying the global forklift warning light market, you are cooked. Have some fucking dignity and give that shit up now, while you still can, before Big Forklift Warning Light just mows your ass into the ground, without even breaking a sweat.
You live in Forklift Warning Light world now, bitches, and you best get used to it.
[AN ASIDE, IF I MAY: This report from Fact.MR also included this genuinely awful AI-generated “infographic” which is remarkably free of “info” and is pretty miserable as a “graphic,” too:
What is this garbage? How is this considered okay to release to the public? Visually, it’s awful – that forklift has angles that would give MC Escher a migraine, and what are those orange-and-black molten lumps of goo? And then there’s all the not-text. Sure, it got the title and the 5.2% right, but everything else isn’t even remotely legible? Just get a fucking designer, Fact.MR. This shit is embarrassing.]
As a proud card carrying member of AFLOOA* LOCAL 420-69, I say to you, the warning light naysayers: “fork off”
I happen dig the mobile laser shows, especially after my spliff breaks. 😉
So, Roll on fork face!! ( ノ ^o^)ノ
*American Forklift Operators Of America
This whole article was so good. But that stuff about the thick macrame pants and cheese-soaked crotch was borderline NSFW. *fans self*
dare I say that I sure that it didn’t feel Gouda on his crotch.
“Emmentaler? I didn’t even know her!”
I was just proud of Torch for keeping safety front of mind and wearing his asbestos boxer briefs in anticipation of that exact moment.
I hope there will be a customizable model. That big red warning circle would be even better with the letters ‘GTFO’ projected inside it.
Punch your local Jack Ash
Facilities are all over the place on what safety measures they implement. The place I was in last week had full circle projections around the forklifts, along with projected lines for walkways and large (like 8ft diameter) warnings projected onto the floor.
I do feel like the bare minimum should be a light projected to the front and back.
But forklifts should not have priority over pedestrians after the pedestrians walked to work with protection from cars.
This just brightened my forking day.
I feel like a hair dryer would be a better tool to rescue someone fondued to a bench than a chisel. But what do I know? I need to sneak into a cheese warehouse and find a forklift with insufficient warning lights and loose wiring connections to experiment.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!
You don’t know how much I needed a laugh.
Hitting the ol green beer earlier aren’t you?
Some marketing guy also reads The Autopian and (correctly) reasoned that Torch will wax poetic about any vehicle part with a bulb in it
You might be riding high now, Torch. But never forget the number one rule of forklifts… what goes up must come down.
This is so freakin’ random. I love it.
This just seems like propaganda by big forklift warning light.
Or The Deep Light State!
Maybe the illumin-ati
As with a lot of things in industry, this growth is driven by the insurance industry. It’s been demonstrated that these sorts of lights are more effective than flashing amber beacons, so the insurance companies give your facility a discount if you have the more effective warning lights.
They keep adding to the list of things to ignore.
Headline Of The Day
DIAMOND HANDS HODL TO THE MOON FORKING ALL THE WAY!!!
My god Jason, you literally had me laughing out loud with this article!!
Well done, and thanks for the badly needed laughs! 🙂
What I would welcome is any lighted replacement for the $^#&@^$%! back-up beepers on the mini ride-on lifts they use in the wholesale club. The things are operated in reverse nearly their entire service life (the move forwards only when removing or placing a load, but all transport in the aisles is in reverse), and the constant constant CONSTANT warning noise would be unbearable if not for my noise-cancelling airpods.
I have no idea what I just read, and it was absolutely fantastic!
Those warning lights look DOPE.
But I’m a sucker for the TRON lighting motif, and I’m fighting the urge daily to put some LED underglow on my lowered w126.
Lights are cool AND safe! Use ’em!
I was uncomfortably close to planning to buy underglow for my Prius, but I found out I’d have to cover the lights completely every year when I get the Krown rust protector applied.
My Benz is a summer garage queen, so the lights would be fine
If Bezos and Musk have their way, all forklifts will be robots, and there won’t be any pedestrians around to warn anyway.
Just copying tractors. The fork lift drivers get jealous of all their lights and turn signals.
The robot forklifts probably need those fancy projector lights so people don’t get run over the paint line roads are very last century.
This shit right here is why I’m a member.
As a forklift operator myself, I’d like something other than the amber beacon and two forward facing headlights, especially when working on the at-grade back dock that a path open to the public and used as employee parking access by neighboring businesses backs on to. Yeah I turn the headlights on in bright sunlight. But there’s a turn signal switch with no turn signals.
Welcome! Thanks for being here; Can you tell us something about forklifts that we might not know?
I’m a certified Forklift & MEWP (Mobile Elevating Work Platform) instructor. What would you like to know?
Is there an unwritten rule that every warehouse always has the one guy willing to do sketchy shit to get the job done? “Oh is that a 10,000lb load and I only have a 2,000lb forklift…watch me work”
Absolutely. There’s about 61,000 forklift related injuries requiring hospitalization, and 1200 forklift related deaths annually in the United States. From idiots like that.
I found the death statistic pretty incredible, so I did some checking. Per various sources via the Google machine the number of annual forklift deaths in the US averages around 85, give or take. Also about 100,000 injuries per year with 35,000 of them being serious.
My stats must be old, I’ll check my references when I’m back in office
I want to say that everyone got serious about forklift training about 20 years ago. Before that it was a free for all.
Yeah, when I was in high school back in the 90’s, I worked at a hardware store and was told how to start it and raise and lower the forks. That’s it, straight to hauling around pallets of driveway tar.
im starting a new job where I’ll have to run forklifts and motorized pallet jacks, and they’re being very careful about it. I’m kind of glad for that, I only ever drove around an open yard, and I don’t think I was very good at it either. I need all the help I can get!
Yeah, my work looked for best practice and got me certified through IVES. Lots of shitty forklift training places these days still. “Pick up that pallet, drive in a figure 8, set it down. You’re certified.” Yikes.
I don’t doubt it, there’s a forklift in every large-ish retail store. That’s the context I’m in and I will NOT run it on the sales floor although there’s a guy who does.
1200 deaths. Holly cow I never realized how dangerous those things are.
I openly LOL’d at this, thank you!
Pretty sure that’s a written rule.
Why do so many of them run on propane?
Probably cost and ease of storage
Propane burns very clean so you can use them inside buildings. I have seen propane floor grinders, boom lifts and power wheelbarrows in addition to forklifts.
You’re supposed to limit the use of any ICE powered lifting equipment indoors. They’re NOT to ever be used in enclosed spaces such as trailers.
Now I want to be clear, people still do it. But Carbon monoxide is a threat with any ICE vehicle. That’s why you’re SUPPOSED to use electric indoors. We actually have a hybrid boom lift. It’s electric with an onboard generator so we can use it anywhere.
I volunteer/work for a non-profit. When we started up our current operation one of our benefactors purchased a cheap used electric forklift. When they hired a person to manage the equipment, instead of me doing it as a volunteer. He was afraid of and had difficulty with the Monotrol and started lobbing for a replacement. Because we are a non-profit the president went looking for a donation. The big player in our area did bite but they kept trying to give us propane powered and was trying to sell the president that it was better. Thankfully she consulted me for my expertise and I explained to her that for our use entirely inside a warehouse that only correct choice was electric because because of CO. Our use occasionally does include operating inside a trailer.
Not a forklift mechanic, but the plant I worked at did everything they could to keep forklifts back in the warehouse and on the loading docks, and not traveling out the line to replenish inventory at the line. Deliveries to the line were made using manual push carts.
They also put projecting safety lights on manlifts.
Every little safety feature does help.
Being run over by a forklift is not a good idea.
Beware the Hyster monotrol pedal.
I miss my old Monotrol pedal truck.
Those lamps that project onto the ground seem pretty cool; do you like those?
God help Nlpnt if they answer this question in the negative …
I’d be fine with a red taillight or two.
Missed Kristen Bell forking opportunity.
That’s for Dax Shepherd, the man whose name always kind of sounds like a multinational pesticide conglomerate or pharmaceutical company.