You might think that Facebook Marketplace is designed to help you sell things, like cars. Really, though, the purpose of a system is what it does. In the case of Marketplace, then, it’s a system whose purpose is to waste our time and play with our emotions. Or, you can just use it as a place to openly brag.
But how do you brag on Marketplace? Well, you simply post something you want to show off, whether you’re intending to sell it or not. You don’t even have to pretend to sell the thing. For example, you can post a deal on some rare Beanie Babies that your ex would totally go for, while you and your new beau are barely visible, glistening and toned in the reflection in the mirror. It’s not mature, but it works.
But maybe, just maybe we found the greatest brag of all. And it was in the humblest of places.
“Caravan windows 06” read the ad on Facebook Marketplace, listed at the fair price of $1. Not since Hemingway’s “For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn” has an ad conveyed so much in so little a space.
You see, this owner had all the glass for a 2006 Dodge Caravan lying around, except for the windshield and rear hatch. In fact, the owner wasn’t looking for money—the ad stated they were free if you needed them.
The twist that makes this a brag is all in the last line. “I cut the roof of [sic] my caravan for the summer.” And there it is. We get to see the glorious Dodge minivan in all its topless glory. Seating for seven under the sky, sun, and stars. Who wouldn’t be jealous of that?
Yes, the ad does feature two pictures of the glass itself, leaned up against a garden fence. But far more prominent are the two glory shots of the roofless van o’ swag. If you’re selling glass, are the pictures of the van really necessary? Or are they just awesome?
Now it’s entirely possible this wasn’t a brag. The owner might just have been getting rid of some old parts they didn’t need, helping out someone else with a Caravan in the process. Heck, maybe I totally misunderstood what Matt was going for when he assigned me this article with the headline above. But I get it, I do. Sure, the ad is an opportunity to clear out the garage. But it’s also an opportunity to show off your sick-ass whip to the neighborhood.
I’ve gone the chop-top route myself, in fact, and I know how fun it can be. The wind whipping through your hair is all the more satisfying when it’s in a vehicle you built (destroyed?) with a Sawzall and your own two hands. After hacking away at the roof, seatbelts, and support structures, who wouldn’t want to crow about their success?
Honestly, the ad was successful in more ways than one. It let one Mark Mason of Ohio show off his great build. Based on the “sold” status, he was also able to offload the glass to a worthy recipient. Let me be the first to thank you Mark, not only for this humblebrag of an ad, but for doing your part in the automotive hobby that we all love to share and enjoy. Cheers.
Image credits: Facebook Marketplace
Enclose the cab, take out the rear seats and you have a Caravanchero.
What, no roll bar? Amateur…
nevermind…full send!
I figure part of the reason for the pic is to show why they happen to be selling a bunch of the windows but yeah, 99.99% humblebrag! Ha ha
“Let it rain, Randy!”
I did something similar, but with an Astro van and I didn’t half ass it
https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/53829050604_ed47f553c9_k.jpg
Nice work!
Thanks! If you want to see more I posted my work on the Astro forum.
https://www.astrosafari.com/threads/building-an-astro-roadster.149157/
In the censored headshot I honestly expected it to be a Murano Cross Cab.
I can see this van in my grandmother’s back yard filled with flowers
THIS is the kind of thing we should be forcing David to live in for a week at a time!
We used to refer to this conversion as a pervertable.
A lot safer with a body on frame station wagon, but this looks pretty good for parade use.
Just weld the doors closed.
Note that only works on cars for the American market build after the mid 70s when they put guard beams inside the doors. Friend of mine did that with a 1970 Chevrolet she went over a diagonal railroad track and collapsed the door on the driver side.
The downside to this, if their experience is anything like mine (although maybe not, since there isn’t likely a ton of interest in buying a roofless minivan), is that the marketplace people that seemingly cannot read will be messaging this person asking for more information about the van, and asking how much it is, because they think the ad is for the whole van.
This happens every time I try to sell a set of wheels, and include a picture of them on a car, even if I make it VERY CLEAR that the car is either not for sale, or already sold.
Lakewood is a really nice place. It’s where I’d start my search if I were moving to the Cleveland area.
That generation of Caravan actually looks pretty good topless! I’m surprised Lido didn’t try it back in the day.
Fully agree. And they should’ve asked Renault for instructions.
Does someone with a larger automotive mental library than me know the red car in the reflection of the Caravan glass?
Something with T-tops? What am I missing?
It almost looks sort of 85-90 Firebird to me but it’s hard to tell.
I was thinking Firebird but I couldn’t find a windshield.
It took me a moment, but there’s a table covered with plants in front of the car.
Third-gen F-body, probably Firebird, was my first thought too.
I’m thinking 3rd gen Camaro or Firebird based on the profile.
Judging by the amount of rust already visible at the bottom of the doors and rocker panel, without the structure of the roof and pillars, I don’t see this thing lasting through the summer without collapsing the frame, bringing the audio controls within reach of the rear seat passengers.
I’d imagine it corners like a plate of shower spaghetti.
Or as Bill Stephens coined-
“Handles like a lap full of ice cubes”
This Caravan is the exact reason HOAs exist, and the exact reason why I have no desire to live somewhere with one.
I need one more pic of Buford T. Justice standing over that “spare glass” yell at his son to “Put the EVIDENCE IN THE CAAAR!”
“There’s no way you came from my loins. When we get home, I’m gonna punch your Momma in the mouth!”
I thought at first I was looking at the silhouette of a Nissan Murano Cross Cabriolet. It being a Dodge Caravan was an interesting surprise.
Same, and once I locked in I couldn’t believe that it was anything else. The biggest clue that something was off was that a Cross Cabriolet owner doesn’t have anything to brag about.
Ditto!
The only reason I knew it was a Dodge Caravan is cause somebody is trying to sell a sawsalled Caravan in my area.
When there’s that much obvious rust in the guts of this thing….the glass clearly just fell out.
AND Galen Rowell-level photo skills. No feet, no face with a phone pressed against it: just a man leaning over as far as he can, reaching out, and flicking the shutter icon until one image sort-of doesn’t suck. The pattern of repeating verticle lines from the fence contrasted against the repeating horizontal reflections of the arm, all surrounded by organic irregularity, takes this picture to the next level.
Not even a thumb covering the license plate. True skill.
I can hear the furious clicking of David Tracy somewhere Googling “How to pass TUV inspection if you cut the roof off a Dodge Caravan”.
And from the top shot I thought it was a cross-cab. This is so much better and so much more of a humblebrag! Bravo!!
Me too, and I was wondering how a cross-cab was going to turn into a humblebrag.
Now I want an article on how and what exactly he did with this chop.
12 pack of Natty Light, 1 reciprocating saw, too much free time
Correction, Just Enough Free Time!!!
The sliding side doors were connected to the roof via a track, so I’m guessing those doors are now a one-use-only feature. (No shade about that, either, only props for having the guts to do it.)
Bonus points if he converted the rear doors to suicide doors.
I think that “suicide” doors would be just a tad redundant.
As a previous owner of 1 Aerostar & 3 Town & Country’s, I give this minivan a thumbs up. Safety, be damned!
Ah, the age old tradition of removing a structural part of a unibody car without adding any support…
Well you see, the glass could’ve cut you in an accident but now it can’t since it is gone, so this mod is actually safety-neutral.
Even the pictures of the glass itself pull double duty as bragging rights thanks to the reflection…