I recently moved to the big city, and I love it. But it’s also brought a particular issue into focus for me, one that has caused me endless frustration and rage. It’s quite simple: I can’t stand when people yield when they have right of way. I don’t care if you think you’re being nice. It needs to end, now.
Long ago, traffic engineers and administrators came up with simple rules for assigning right of way. In combination with turn signals, these rules allowed drivers to anticipate traffic flow and safely interact with other vehicles. The rules established an understanding of who was allowed to go first, and when. This was and is an unambiguously good thing. It allows traffic to flow and minimizes the number of accidents on the road.
Sadly, these rules are not religiously adhered to. Some people just ignore the rules entirely, so we give them a wide berth. But you know what’s just as bad? People who yield unexpectedly because they’re being nice. It’s dangerous, unwelcome, and it needs to stop. We’re gonna talk pedestrians, we’re gonna talk road rules, and we’re going to cover the horror of the “wave of death,” as some call it.
Don’t be like this.
Walk Safe
As I mentioned above, moving downtown has made this a daily issue for me. Oftentimes, I’m walking down the sidewalk, and I come to cross a road. I’ll happily wait for a few seconds for cars to roll through on their merry way before I cross. After all, they have right of way! And yet, maybe half the time—they hit the brakes, come to a stop and wave me across! This can be frustrating.
I had already picked out a perfectly safe time to cross—after they had passed by, as they had the right of way. By stopping, they throw everything out of whack. I have to recheck the surroundings to make sure that there is no other traffic that will run me down. Then, I have to scamper along to get out of the way of this vehicle that is now waiting for me when it was never supposed to in the first place! It’s positively infuriating.
I get it. You’re happy to make way for pedestrians. But here’s the thing. They have their slot in traffic just like you do. By yielding your spot unnecessarily, you’re forcing them to step out of theirs. Suddenly nobody in the intersection can predict what anybody else is going to do. This is where danger lies! You should always take due care when driving and not simply expect other people to get out of your way—but ignoring your own right of way entirely is unhelpful.
The worst example happened to me recently. I was waiting to cross a sidestreet, when an approaching car stopped to let me cross even though it had right of way. They were expectantly waiting for me to cross. Meanwhile, another vehicle was trying to turn on to the sidestreet, expecting that they had right of way. After all, if everyone followed the rules, I wouldn’t be crossing since another car was approaching.
Some jurisdictions require drivers approaching the throat of a T intersection to give way to pedestrians—like California, or Queensland, Australia.
Ultimately I made a stupid decision to try to cross, and nearly got run over by the turning car in the process. I should have ignored the car waiting for me and left them as the only unpredictable fool in the scenario. Not pictured in this diagram is my partner who was rightfully upset with me for making such a silly decision. Felt bad. I know better!
Wave of Death
This happens in all kinds of other situations, too. Have you ever tried to turn your car across a multi-lane road, when someone on that multi-lane road stops short to wave you through an opening? They’re giving up their right of way to be nice, but they’re putting you in a tough situation. You can’t see the traffic in the other lane, so if you pull through, there’s every chance you’ll end up in a majorly ugly crash. It’s called the “wave of death” and it can have brutal results. I’ll stop short of showing you videos of actual crashes. They’re out there, but viewer discretion is advised. In any case, there are plenty of examples of near misses out there. [Ed Note: There’s a bit of cursing in the videos below; we don’t condone cursing out folks just trying to be nice (there are other ways), but this is a matter of public safety, and if that’s how these folks need to vent their frustrations, so be it. -DT].
Then there’s the four way stop. These can be confusing, but ultimately, somebody has to go first. If you’re already stopped and are about to go, and you see someone else approaching and slowing down? You can go! They have to stop and yield to traffic already in the intersection. If you wait for them, they’re going to be confused, because they’re waiting for you. This then creates the risk that when they give up, you’ll both go at the same time and have a collision.
Of course, there’s no accounting for fools. Like this Cadillac driver who doesn’t realize you’re supposed to give way to the right, and to traffic already in the intersection — not cool
If you’re wondering why this is a bad thing, there’s real legal precedent in this regard. As covered by lawyer Anthony Carbone, the 1998 court case of Thorne v. Miller. Here’s a summary of the case, per the linked court document:
The accident took place on Route 530, a four lane road running east-west with two lanes in each direction. Prior to the accident, defendant, Lori Miller, was waiting to make a left turn out of a parking lot adjacent to the westbound lanes. She wanted to go east on Route 530 and needed to cross the westbound lanes to do so. Traffic was congested. Donald Cook was driving in the slow westbound lane (the outer lane) and stopped just before the parking lot Miller needed to exit. Cook “waved out” Miller twice in a way to indicate she could exit the parking lot in front of his vehicle. Miller responded, and as she crossed the westbound lanes, she struck a car traveling in the fast westbound lane (the inner lane). That car was operated by Rita St. George, a plaintiff, and the impact caused St. George to hit a vehicle driven by Joseph Thorne, another plaintiff in this case. Miller sued Cook as a third party defendant and St. George has brought a direct claim against him.
Cook, who was not involved in the accident but for his waving gesture, brings a motion for summary judgment on the ground that he owes no duty to Miller.
Both St. George and Miller sued Cook, on the basis that his wave caused the accident. The court agreed that the wave may have contributed to the crash, and noted that Cook could have taken the time to assess the traffic flow before waving. The court also found that a waving driver does “assume a duty [of care]” in such a situation. The court decision doesn’t outright state the apportion of blame to the drivers involved in the collision, but it effectively states that waving on another driver is not without liability risk.
YSK the "wave of death" helps no one and is dangerous.
byu/molivergo inYouShouldKnow
I’m not the only one upset about this!
In Context
I reached out to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety regarding the “wave of death.” Director of Media Relations, Joe Young, noted that there is little to no official research on the topic. It seems that I may care a great deal more about this topic than either state transport authorities or, indeed, the insurance companies themselves.
That’s not to say he didn’t have some helpful pointers, though:
“Communication between road users is common and can certainly be helpful in some situations, such as when the right of way isn’t clear…I think most of us have encountered a situation, however, where someone yields the right of way instead of taking their turn, which can create a problem if not all drivers and other road users are on the same page. “
Ultimately, though, you’ve got to focus on doing the right thing yourself, Joe explains:
“I think in this scenario it’s important to rely on common sense, not rush, and take normal precautions such as properly yielding to any other road users that may be in the area, including pedestrians. While I’m sure their intentions are good, it’s unlikely the driver waving you through has considered every scenario, so it’s very important to ensure that it’s safe to proceed before doing so.”
If you’re someone who does this kind of thing, I get it. You’re a nice person! And it’s nice to be nice sometimes. You’re trying to help out your fellow motorist or pedestrian, and that’s really sweet. The reality is, though, you’re introducing unnecessary chaos into the flow of traffic. That’s risky, and can get people hurt. The “wave of death” is called that for a reason. People can get seriously hurt in situations like these, and it’s simply not worth it.
I promise you, you’re not being selfish. If you’ve got the right of way, take it. Drive safely, of course, but don’t wave people through when it’s not your turn.
Drive safe out there.
Image credits: Lewin Day, Austlii.edu.au via screenshot, Reddit via screenshot, Clueless Drivers of Maryland via YouTube screenshot
Where I live there are a bunch of retirees and tourists with no particular place to be in a hurry, always waving away.
I’m firmly in the camp of, “Fine then. Fuck it. I’ll go first.”
I’m not. I refuse to move when it’s other people’s right of way. They need to learn.
I have actually backed away from an intersection or walked away when someone directed me to break the rules.
Who says anyone gets to be a teacher?
Look, life is hard enough as it is. When someone offers the gift of kindness, you are supposed to take it, show gratitude for it, and have a better day because of it.
Lots of people in the world never, ever, get the chance for a stranger to offer kindness.
Other than the obvious safety elements involved in trusting a stranger to give you the “all clear”, the premise of this article is wrong. Wrong, I say!
We should be grateful that another person is selfless enough to think of our wellbeing. They aren’t doing it for their own benefit.
Sheesh.
Fuck them people. Their perceived holiness gets people killed. The rules of right-of-way are there for a reason.
Ok. Take a deep breath, lol.
In the meantime, I’m gonna cut you off at the grocery store and pay with a check.
I hate this crap, it’s not rude to just follow the traffic rules, and it’s not polite to ignore them and make up your own. If it’s your turn, just freaking go, if it’s not my turn, accept that I’m going to sit until you freaking go
Also, while we’re at it, roundabouts and four-way stops are two very different things, please stop treating them the same
All of this. There is a neighborhood on a 2 lane road that’s currently under construction and through a 1 mile school zone. Needless to say, it gets very backed up. People will always come to a stop while they are already going the speed limit (45) to let people turn left and I have almost rear ended them and then almost been rear ended numerous times.
I do the other wave where I try to stop people from pulling out across traffic. Mostly in situations where it’s a divided 4 lane road. People will turn left across 2 lanes to get into the middle lane and somebody will be coming flying up so I’ll lay on the horn and try to stop them. Unfortunately have seen somebody get wrecked that way
We are surrounded by frickin’ idiots.
America, what a fucked up country.
Have you ever lived anywhere else? Because driving in America is far better, except for the glassbowls going 20 over the limit, than the 5 other countries I’ve driven in.
You’d love Canada. Intersections jammed up with cars, motorcycles, ebikes, scooter, bicycles, and pedestrians waving one another through. A complete gridlock of ‘no after you’ niceness.
Oh, and could we take the time for slight depression into why the fuck don’t people know what hand signals mean?
If you’re driving an old truck or better yet an old tractor with no turn signals and you stick your left arm out to indicate that you’re about to make a left turn and the people behind you think that you’re waving them to pass…
And of course, since it’s a tractor, it has no brakes to speak of other than the ones for turning.
Extra fun points if it is a row crop tractor with rear axles that stick out an extra three feet beyond the wheels.
There’s a tractor I’ve seen a couple of times around here with a sign on the back that reads “I use hand signals”.
It can cause awful traffic jams. I was following someone to work one day and at literally every intersection they would stop to let cars out of the side road. The traffic build up behind me was becoming intolerable. I guess they thought they were being nice, sure it helped one person, but caused kilometers of traffic jams behind them and inconvenienced hundreds of other people.
In New York State, pedestrians absolutely have the right of way, and if you’ve ever driven out in the Hamptons seemingly half the police department is out enforcing those laws. On the other hand, New York City is bound by exactly the same laws, but there pedestrians stand about one car lane into the intersection, waiting for a gap in traffic before they dash across the street, knowing that nobody is going to stop. If you as a driver or pedestrian follow the state law in New York City all hell breaks loose if you’re lucky. If you’re not lucky it’s considerably worse,
The other thing that I have noticed splitting my time driving in California and driving in Brooklyn, is that the Brooklyn definition of arriving at an intersection simultaneously and the California definition of simultaneous arrival differs by several seconds.
Also, California drivers absolutely suck at four-way stop signs and left turns. And traffic circles. What is with California drivers stopping in traffic circles?
You are missing the experience of Ottawa (Canada) drivers coming to a complete stop on the merge lane to the main highway. Stupid and dangerous.
Oh, you think that’s bad, New York City actually puts stop signs at the end of the merge lane.
https://maps.app.goo.gl/bcbKNrA9ecwEgpQr6?g_st=ic
For example
Number one rule of driving in New York City, the people behind you problems are not your problems and always be prepared to come to a complete stop as fast as possible.
Also, a great place to learn left foot braking..
Yup. Grew up in North Jersey and growing up did a lot of driving in all the burroughs. I loved it because the people on the road knew the rules. Pedestrians knew the rules. Moved to bay area CA and the drivers here cause my brain to melt at 4-ways.
Yup.
I still think “the garden state” on NJ plates could be replaced by “no left turns”
I’d go with “the full-service state”.
Might be the most appealing aspect of driving in NJ for some.
True, I’m a steady customer of those two stations on the palisades parkway, full service and cheap. Restrooms too!
I’ve noticed that, and the extra short blind on ramps with no merge to get up to 50-60 mph traffic speed, just crazy!
Yes my mother in law used to live there, and I drove a Mercedes 240 diesel. Fortunately with a stick shift. Max revs, drop the clutch, and know that there is no better car to be rear ended in.
Switched to a Volvo 740 turbo wagon that the previous owner had tightened up the boost on. A little laggy but a total rocket ship in comparison. That on-ramp became a whole different kind of interesting.
California puts up stop & go (metering) lights on on-ramps. They’ll put the lights at the “gore point” where the on-ramp becomes parallel with the freeway. Of course, *nobody* actually accelerates, so you have some putz arriving at the end of the on-ramp beside a big rig or a travel trailer towing pickup with no place to go. I’m
This has given rise to my motto, “Courtesy Kills.”
I get it. People want to be nice, but they are only being nice to the one person they have picked. They are being extremely discourteous to everyone behind them that they are now holding up. It’s all performative, like making sure people see you putting a large donation in the collection box.
I don’t participate. And to make it clear that I don’t want them to stop for me, I’ll stare directly into their eyes, flip them off, and cuss them out clearly so they can read my lips too. They’ll usually move on like they should have in the first place.
Once I had to exit my car, twirling my keys, sit on the hood, smile, and do a “ZZ Top” gesture, smiling, to make the point.
A lot of drivers don’t know what “right of way” means. it comes from the car to the right has the rights, all else being equal.
While that’s a useful shorthand, in countries that drive on the right, it’s a little simplistic, and can get you in trouble even in those places. Road rules conventions of priority are not quite rights.
yeah I didn’t think I had to add it’s the opposite if you are on the opposite side of the road… That was not obvious to you? It’s not a short hand, it is the derivation of the law. How does it get you in trouble? “Road rules conventions of priority are not quite rights.” what does that mean? L o L! are you not considering the actual laws? which refer to “right of way” I didn’t go to Harvard or Yale Law, maybe you did?
100% agree, Lewin! Also, didn’t realize that big city you moved to was Minneapolis (jk obvs) – this practice drives me nuts here.
Minnesota nice
Yep. Drives me nuts.
Ugh yeah I hate this
This.is not just a city thing – it’s practically the rule in the suburb I moved out of a few years ago. I still have to drive through there often and it’s always frightening and frustrating. I try to go when traffic is less so I can avoid as many of these nuts as I can, but they seem to be almost everywhere in that area.
Thank you! I’ve been bitching to my poor wife for years about this. Don’t try to be nice, just follow the rules of the road. If I take the right of way when it’s not mine, I will be to blame for any accident. No thanks.
“Just do what they want you to, dear….”
She agrees with me, but gets tired of my bitching …
In California, pedestrians always have the right of way when crossing at a marked or unmarked crosswalk. Basically any corner that doesn’t have a traffic signal or an explicit sign saying not to cross.
Situational awareness is getting more rare.
Time to bring back rigid steering columns and steel dashboards.
HUTA….as in everyone has their Head Up Their Ass
30 some years ago I was working as a cook in a fairly fancy restaurant. New head chef was hired and on his first day he was jibber jabbing behind the line. Carrying a pot of hot whatever up the line I said “excuse me”. He said “Why? Did you fart?”. I said “get the fuck out of my way”. We actually got along fine after that.
I haven’t thought about that for a long time. Thanks for the trigger.
People watching their phones has made it worse, but the “wave of death” is definitely not a new phenomenon even if the name’s new to me. That’s driven me nuts for decades.
I had to train someone to not stop in the middle of a roundabout to let people in.
I never met her but we went to work around the same time. There was a small roundabout, and every time someone was approaching to get in she would politely let them in. It was as infuriating as it was unsafe. I quickly realized she would keep stopping and “politely” waving people in until somebody did something.
So I started honking.
When she stopped, she got honked at until she moved. Then when she started slowing significantly she got honked at. Then as soon as I saw her brake lights go on she got honked at.
Eventually she was able to make it through the roundabout without causing problems for everyone behind her.
This is the situations where I really my my old Jeep and its steel c-channel bumper.
This is also the way I choose to educate the ignorant.
And I just laugh when the stupid 80 year old women flip me the finger. Fuck them.
As others have said, it is better to be predictable when driving, not nice.
Besides that, in the Seattle area, my hands are often too occupied making these motions, rather than waving at people: https://tenor.com/view/why-just-why-but-why-monkey-gif-18202838286539704455 (safe for work)
We’re so used to street racing morons as the example of anti-social driving that we usually don’t see that the opposite can be just as bad.
Both seem flip sides of the same coin, symptoms of automotive solipsism and failing to see traffic and ourselves in it as a system.
Portlandia cover this obliquely but well with the Yugo sketch.
I have been teaching my daughter this to the word as she comes up on driving age.
Just last night, I saw something that always takes my breath away, even as it’s become way more common – a guy reversing on the shoulder of a high-speed controlled access highway to get back to the exit he’d missed.
When I was in drivers ed in the ’80s, this was reviled as nobody is this stupid but just to be super clear don’t ever do it. Times change for sure.
Saw that on the road to NYC (Pennsylvania IIRC) a couple of weeks ago.
This is shit I never understand if you missed your exit just go to the next one. Like value your life and other lives more then not being late somewhere.
Don’t* know how to use right of way. Key word, that one
I also hate the Wave of Death. Here’s another situation that got me – I had turned into a strip mall parking area but my way to a space was blocked by a car on its way out, so I paused (plenty of room for that car to exit). There was a large van parked that wanted to back out and leave, the car driver waved them to proceed – which they did, right into my car (the van driver could not see behind them.) If car driver had just exited, I would have been safely past.
I find the choice of using an animated WRX STi in the California DMV video to demonstrate right-of-way to be particularly amusing.That has to be deliberate irony on someone’s part.
Couldn’t agree more. It’s not nice at all. Way back in college I almost hit someone who got waved through. I’m in the right lane passing a long line of stopped cars spilling back onto the left lane of the main road waiting to turn left at a protected left turn. Some idiot waves a opposite direction left turner through into my path. Cue chaos. I never waved anyone through after that.
I read somewhere that it boils down to “Don’t be NICE. Be PREDICTABLE.”
Something that’s annoyed me for years. There are rules for a reason. It’s most annoying when walking or on a bike and I have to wave back at their dumb asses where I shouldn’t have had to do anything but wait—as I will still do—for a safe opening on my own. It’s to the point where I ride farther down streets for better spots to cross or take turns to go around the backs of leading cars at intersections just so they won’t potentially screw up the flow for everyone else by possibly waving me through, which is both potentially unsafe and annoying to everyone else around. These people trying to convince themselves that they’re good people because they waved someone on against the RoW are as much a menace as those who flout the rules to get somewhere faster. I’d argue they’re even worse because they’re too stupid to see how they’re dangerous where, presumably, the other kind of jerk is aware and making a choice to be dangerous and so are at least capable of choosing to drive safely.
Exactly.
There are other, better ways to be good people.
If I’m reading this correctly, it’s different here in the U.S. The pedestrian has the right of way over vehicular traffic where there isn’t a signal. I’ve caught myself waving cars through and thought about the chaos I could have created.
Only if they’re crossing at an intersection or a marked crossing.
Peds do not have the right of way otherwise.
True. But if you hit the pedestrian it wouldn’t be a good outcome.
True that – but if you’re coming down a street and one decides to dash out midblock, it’s not murder if you can’t stop in time.
No, but it’s probably going to be manslaughter. Pedestrians have right-of way by law at marked intersections and crosswalks, and once their foot is in the travel lane, they effectively — if not legally, depending on jurisdiction — have right of way. “You should be aware of pedestrians approaching the road and have been prepared to stop.” is typically the language, and drivers have gotten prosecuted. And if the local prosecutor doesn’t bring charges, there’s always the wrongful death civil lawsuit.
And so, we have motorists who are terrified of getting involved in a pedestrian accident, who then stomp on their brakes to wave pedestrians across (legal crossing or not) and then cause rear-end pileups. And pedestrians who, depending on the individual, either give no shits, or have entirely too much faith in the average motorist’s ability to stop in time, who just step out anyway.
I’m not anti-pedestrian, but there’s a need for pedestrians to not make a potentially bad situation worse. If you’re at a crosswalk and have right of way, then walk through as soon as it’s safe to do so — don’t wave traffic by. If you don’t have right of way — “Don’t Walk” signal is up / red light is on / traffic pattern is currently flowing/accelerating through an unsignaled crosswalk area — then don’t step out into moving traffic which has not yet yielded or is unable to yield right of way. But this seems to be too much of a conundrum in so many places, at least in the US. Whenever we can positively separate automotive traffic from pedestrians (and cyclists, too) to prevent conflict and contention for right of way, it’s a huge help.
Correct. And while I’m not an attorney – if you have a dash cam where it can be proven that you had no time to react, a good attorney could get it down to involuntary manslaughter or less.
And if you do have a walk signal hustle across, there are 2-ton metal objects hurtling down the road toward you…
Yeah here in Illinois, drivers are supposed to yield to pedestrians in almost every situation. 11 specific ones called out in the rules of the road. https://idot.illinois.gov/travel-information/roadway-information/driver-information/share-the-road/pedestrians.html Not that drivers are always aware of pedestrians, though.
Grew up in a small town with two traffic lights. The pedestrian had right of way at all marked crosswalks. There was no “pedestrian safe area” etc. During high pedestrian volumes (school times) they had the crosswalk guard, which was more to allow traffic to pass between pedestrians.