I recently moved to the big city, and I love it. But it’s also brought a particular issue into focus for me, one that has caused me endless frustration and rage. It’s quite simple: I can’t stand when people yield when they have right of way. I don’t care if you think you’re being nice. It needs to end, now.
Long ago, traffic engineers and administrators came up with simple rules for assigning right of way. In combination with turn signals, these rules allowed drivers to anticipate traffic flow and safely interact with other vehicles. The rules established an understanding of who was allowed to go first, and when. This was and is an unambiguously good thing. It allows traffic to flow and minimizes the number of accidents on the road.
Sadly, these rules are not religiously adhered to. Some people just ignore the rules entirely, so we give them a wide berth. But you know what’s just as bad? People who yield unexpectedly because they’re being nice. It’s dangerous, unwelcome, and it needs to stop. We’re gonna talk pedestrians, we’re gonna talk road rules, and we’re going to cover the horror of the “wave of death,” as some call it.
Don’t be like this.
Walk Safe
As I mentioned above, moving downtown has made this a daily issue for me. Oftentimes, I’m walking down the sidewalk, and I come to cross a road. I’ll happily wait for a few seconds for cars to roll through on their merry way before I cross. After all, they have right of way! And yet, maybe half the time—they hit the brakes, come to a stop and wave me across! This can be frustrating.
I had already picked out a perfectly safe time to cross—after they had passed by, as they had the right of way. By stopping, they throw everything out of whack. I have to recheck the surroundings to make sure that there is no other traffic that will run me down. Then, I have to scamper along to get out of the way of this vehicle that is now waiting for me when it was never supposed to in the first place! It’s positively infuriating.
I get it. You’re happy to make way for pedestrians. But here’s the thing. They have their slot in traffic just like you do. By yielding your spot unnecessarily, you’re forcing them to step out of theirs. Suddenly nobody in the intersection can predict what anybody else is going to do. This is where danger lies! You should always take due care when driving and not simply expect other people to get out of your way—but ignoring your own right of way entirely is unhelpful.
The worst example happened to me recently. I was waiting to cross a sidestreet, when an approaching car stopped to let me cross even though it had right of way. They were expectantly waiting for me to cross. Meanwhile, another vehicle was trying to turn on to the sidestreet, expecting that they had right of way. After all, if everyone followed the rules, I wouldn’t be crossing since another car was approaching.
Some jurisdictions require drivers approaching the throat of a T intersection to give way to pedestrians—like California, or Queensland, Australia.
Ultimately I made a stupid decision to try to cross, and nearly got run over by the turning car in the process. I should have ignored the car waiting for me and left them as the only unpredictable fool in the scenario. Not pictured in this diagram is my partner who was rightfully upset with me for making such a silly decision. Felt bad. I know better!
Wave of Death
This happens in all kinds of other situations, too. Have you ever tried to turn your car across a multi-lane road, when someone on that multi-lane road stops short to wave you through an opening? They’re giving up their right of way to be nice, but they’re putting you in a tough situation. You can’t see the traffic in the other lane, so if you pull through, there’s every chance you’ll end up in a majorly ugly crash. It’s called the “wave of death” and it can have brutal results. I’ll stop short of showing you videos of actual crashes. They’re out there, but viewer discretion is advised. In any case, there are plenty of examples of near misses out there. [Ed Note: There’s a bit of cursing in the videos below; we don’t condone cursing out folks just trying to be nice (there are other ways), but this is a matter of public safety, and if that’s how these folks need to vent their frustrations, so be it. -DT].Â
Then there’s the four way stop. These can be confusing, but ultimately, somebody has to go first. If you’re already stopped and are about to go, and you see someone else approaching and slowing down? You can go! They have to stop and yield to traffic already in the intersection. If you wait for them, they’re going to be confused, because they’re waiting for you. This then creates the risk that when they give up, you’ll both go at the same time and have a collision.
Of course, there’s no accounting for fools. Like this Cadillac driver who doesn’t realize you’re supposed to give way to the right, and to traffic already in the intersection — not cool
If you’re wondering why this is a bad thing, there’s real legal precedent in this regard. As covered by lawyer Anthony Carbone, the 1998 court case of Thorne v. Miller. Here’s a summary of the case, per the linked court document:
The accident took place on Route 530, a four lane road running east-west with two lanes in each direction. Prior to the accident, defendant, Lori Miller, was waiting to make a left turn out of a parking lot adjacent to the westbound lanes. She wanted to go east on Route 530 and needed to cross the westbound lanes to do so. Traffic was congested. Donald Cook was driving in the slow westbound lane (the outer lane) and stopped just before the parking lot Miller needed to exit. Cook “waved out” Miller twice in a way to indicate she could exit the parking lot in front of his vehicle. Miller responded, and as she crossed the westbound lanes, she struck a car traveling in the fast westbound lane (the inner lane). That car was operated by Rita St. George, a plaintiff, and the impact caused St. George to hit a vehicle driven by Joseph Thorne, another plaintiff in this case. Miller sued Cook as a third party defendant and St. George has brought a direct claim against him.
Cook, who was not involved in the accident but for his waving gesture, brings a motion for summary judgment on the ground that he owes no duty to Miller.
Both St. George and Miller sued Cook, on the basis that his wave caused the accident. The court agreed that the wave may have contributed to the crash, and noted that Cook could have taken the time to assess the traffic flow before waving. The court also found that a waving driver does “assume a duty [of care]” in such a situation. The court decision doesn’t outright state the apportion of blame to the drivers involved in the collision, but it effectively states that waving on another driver is not without liability risk.
YSK the "wave of death" helps no one and is dangerous.
byu/molivergo inYouShouldKnow
I’m not the only one upset about this!
In Context
I reached out to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety regarding the “wave of death.” Director of Media Relations, Joe Young, noted that there is little to no official research on the topic. It seems that I may care a great deal more about this topic than either state transport authorities or, indeed, the insurance companies themselves.
That’s not to say he didn’t have some helpful pointers, though:
“Communication between road users is common and can certainly be helpful in some situations, such as when the right of way isn’t clear…I think most of us have encountered a situation, however, where someone yields the right of way instead of taking their turn, which can create a problem if not all drivers and other road users are on the same page. “
Ultimately, though, you’ve got to focus on doing the right thing yourself, Joe explains:
“I think in this scenario it’s important to rely on common sense, not rush, and take normal precautions such as properly yielding to any other road users that may be in the area, including pedestrians. While I’m sure their intentions are good, it’s unlikely the driver waving you through has considered every scenario, so it’s very important to ensure that it’s safe to proceed before doing so.”
If you’re someone who does this kind of thing, I get it. You’re a nice person! And it’s nice to be nice sometimes. You’re trying to help out your fellow motorist or pedestrian, and that’s really sweet. The reality is, though, you’re introducing unnecessary chaos into the flow of traffic. That’s risky, and can get people hurt. The “wave of death” is called that for a reason. People can get seriously hurt in situations like these, and it’s simply not worth it.
I promise you, you’re not being selfish. If you’ve got the right of way, take it. Drive safely, of course, but don’t wave people through when it’s not your turn.
Drive safe out there.
Image credits: Lewin Day, Austlii.edu.au via screenshot, Reddit via screenshot, Clueless Drivers of Maryland via YouTube screenshot
This!! 100 100 100 Thank you and I now have a phrase to call it.
Another good reason to avoid the wave of death: insurance scams.
There’s a well documented scam in Toronto and I’m sure other areas.
You’re turning left into a plaza or business, and an oncoming car stops at the entrance and waves you to turn left in front of them. As you proceed, the stopped vehicle suddenly accelerates towards you, hitting your vehicle. 4 or 5 people jump out of the vehicle, all claiming they witnessed you recklessly turning in front of them.
If you don’t have a dash cam in this situation, you’re screwed.
The same thing could happen at a stop sign or other intersection.
In any situation, I would never turn into an oncoming lane where I cannot see whether there is traffic approaching, that’s pretty much Russian roulette.
Related to the wave of death – on a bicycle, I often have cars stop & wave to let me cross a thoroughfare when a) I’m a vehicle not a piedestrian b) I’m a big boy – I’ll cross when its safe c) you’re going to get yourself rear ended or me killed.
On bike or especially on foot, I try to look uninterested in crossing as I wait, until it’s actually clear. Face the side, look down, etc. Doesn’t always work, but it helps cut down on the number of people stopping “politely” in ways that help nobody and sometimes add danger.
Traffic engineer here. I fully condone everyone following the right of way rules and the “multiple threat” multilane issue is a very common cause of crashes. However, I fear your Australian experience may be tainting those American’s in your audience regarding pedestrians. Here, pedestrians almost always have the right of way in the situations you describe. The driver stopping may be defying convention but is following of the most often broken laws on the books. I leave searching “unmarked crosswalk” in your local traffic code as a exercise for the reader. As an aside, it is fundamentally broken that such fundamental right of way laws vary state to state in the US or AU.
I have my own “wave of death” here in the superficially nice American South: when drivers wave politely as they roll through your crosswalk. They see you, but they have no intention of stopping for you, but feel obliged to wish you well all the same.
A-fuckin’-men. I totally get that it feels just like holding the door for someone, or letting them go ahead of you in line, but it’s not the same thing. You’re not actually doing anyone a favor. In fact, in most jurisdictions in the US, if you wave someone through, and they get hit by the car that actually had right of way that neither of you saw coming, the wreck is the fault of the poor son of a bitch you waved through. On top of everything else they’re gonna get a traffic ticket, and a bill for the dent their skull left in the car that hit them.
In our area, rules of the road are so misunderstood, willfully ignored, or long forgotten that the friendly murderers are just the tip of the iceberg. Following the car in front up to 10 seconds after the light turns red, sweeping lanes on turns, failing to realize that right-of-way rules change with the type of intersection control, and determining you’ve waited long enough at your idiotic left turn through a gazillion lane busy roadway so you’ll just close your eyes and floor it are each endemic.
Just 2 months ago I was in an accident where somoene from the opposing direction of traffic was waved into my path. I was in the right lane, traveling at speed, while the left lane was backed up. Even fully attentive and immediately braking, I still t-boned the car and it totaled both cars. Other driver was 100% at fault and acknowledged that he was waved through (inappropriately). Sucks that I lost a perfectly good car that I’d put a bunch of work into. I was fine other than back/neck being sore.
Ironic thing was that I had my helmet and head/neck restraint in the back because I’d just been doing some fun work at the proving grounds!
So, this JUST started happening in Western MA…. It was pretty much during covid lockdowns when, apparently, everyone magically forgot how to drive.
Aside from 7 years I lived in VT, I’ve lived in western MA my whole life, and I never saw this behavior prior to that. It’s absolutely awful!
Oh man, this sort of thing bugs me to no end. One of the first things my dad taught me when I started driving was don’t do the nice thing, do the expected thing. Right of way exists for a reason.
Sounds like someone just moved to Mass. We’ve got both people who yield their right of way AND pedestrians that always have the right of way and expect everyone to know it and walk into active intersections.
When I was in college up there, pedestrians waiting on crawling but not entirely stopped traffic at a big square crosswalk would, without speaking or even looking at each other, gang together in a large agglomeration and just move into the crosswalk regardless of the status of the light. It wasn’t an intersection – just a place where two one-way streets split out of a two-way street – but northbound traffic from the one-way street that was finally able to get into the space had to stop along with the southbound traffic stopped by a light a couple hundred feet away.
Reminds me of a thing that happened in my old neighborhood. There was a main road my street crossed at. We had to stop, main road did not. I get to the end of my street and someone going the opposite direction of me is waving people through instead of taking their turn. I get to the intersection. She does the same for me, and I rather contemptuously cross my arms, no hand at the wheel and she finally goes, rolls down the window going by me and says “I’m just trying to be nice.” Well, you failed. Being nice means driving in a predictable manner and going when it’s your turn.
People do that when I ride my bike all the time. I’m one of the weirdos who actually stops at stop signs and waits at traffic lights, and I’ll often just cross my arms and sit there. Pretend I’m a car, and just go!
The root issue in my view is crappy driver training standards and an absence of driver re-training. In my view, driver retraining should be mandatory for any driver that is involved in a collision… regardless of fault.
Plz no. I have been hit 7 times, and was stationary for all but one. I don’t need that in my life as well
Think about it… you might end up in the same class as the idiot… and you’ll be able to give them an earfull. IT WOULD BE GLORIOUS!!!
On a more serious note, yeah an exception would have to be made for drivers with 0% fault and cases where your car gets hit and you might not have even been in the car because it was merely parked on the street (like what happened to me once).
Mine were:
Were you able to use the deer for meat?
No, it showed signs of internal bleeding/organ rupture having ruined the meat. It’s a largely rural area with a very high deer per acre average, to the point they increased bag limits for hunters to try and thin the population as a result of 2 major diseases spreading through the deer and a high number of vehicle collisions.
On the day I graduated college, I was turning left into traffic leaving a parking garage. Someone to the left of me flashed their lights and waved me on, and since there was no traffic coming the opposite way, I pulled out. And right into the side of a car who drove around the person who waved me on. It wasn’t a two lane road on that side, the person I hit drove through one of those painted on median areas with the yellow lines. And that’s why I will sit there resolutely no matter how many times someone tries to wave me out into traffic.
In the hood area where I work, there’s a ton of Four-Way Stops. So when I slow down on approach, and a driver to one side or the other sees me slowing down -they just run it. Even though I was clearly there first.
You would think serious injury would cull these types of drivers, but there seems to be an abundance.
My best friend in high school inherited a 1968 Firebird. His grandfather had purchased it brand new in Altanta, Georgia. Tom (my friend) got the car in 1977. I think it had a 350 in it, but the important part was that it had zero rust. None. It was perfect.
Tom moved back to Atlanta in 1983, got a good job and had the “Bird” restored. I got to see it one time and it was stunning. He had stuck with the original color, Silver, and added Cragers, headers a true dual exhaust and the seats were redone in original upholstery.
Everything was great until some dummy gave him the “wave of death” on a busy 4-lane road. He couldn’t see the opposing lane, took the waver at his word, pulled out and got T-Boned. One less perfect Firebird in the world. That was a sad day.
Sometimes I will wave through someone turning across my lane or entering from a side street. but only if I made sure there’s someone coming up that they’re unable to see. After all, if you’re going to call something the “Wave of Death,” there better be some death involved, right? Also, I’m a sociopath easily amused by destruction.
*chuckles nervously*
I wouldn’t be surprised at all if a You Tuber is behind all of this.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions and these people are demons preparing earth for Lucifer. I have about 5 different points on my daily commute where I run into this horrible habit and everyone looks so shocked when my response to their “kindness” is a middle finger while they block traffic behind them or create other dangerous and annoying situations. They screw up my merge into traffic because I’m waiting for them to pass and there’s no traffic behind them, but they stop in my blind spot and let me in instead, they have no idea what the right of way is on the slip lane from the highway despite clear signage and hold people up in the intersection behind them, I’ve had idiots yield to me waiting to make a left turn on a stop sign for some godforsaken reason, they block half a dozen people from getting through a traffic light because they pick the worst time to let someone out of the gas station(DO THAT WHEN THE LIGHT IS RED, NOT WHEN IT’S GREEN), and they throw everyone off at the 4 way stop by my house. It drives me mad.
My blood pressure spiked just reading this.
“I’m walking down the sidewalk, and I come to cross a road. I’ll happily wait for a few seconds for cars to roll through on their merry way before I cross. After all, they have right of way! And yet, maybe half the time—they hit the brakes, come to a stop and wave me across!”
you should be aware, in most states. a crosswalk without a ‘walk/don’twalk’ sign is PRIORITY FOR THE PEDESTRIAN. many people, pedestrians included don’t realize this, so cars don’t stop when they should, pedestrians don’t go when they should.
another fun fact is that at intersections, THE CROSSWALK IS IMPLIED.
this means, if you are a pedestrian at an intersection, and there’s no walk/don’twalk sign, YOU HAVE RIGHT OF WAY and the people stopping for you are following the correct right of way protocol.
now, if there’s a walk/don’twalk sign and you are waiting your turn, and someone stops, then yeah, they dumb, and I’ll turn around and walk the other way just to avoid any further interaction with that person.
and being that the USA no one knows who has priority in a crosswalk, as a pedestrian I wait as long as I have to before crossing.
Well, as long as they are in the crosswalk. Some schmo standing at the corner? No. I hate it when the walk sign is on and pedestrians aren’t walking, and I’m not waiting for some idiot with their eyes on their idiot phone to wake up from their coma and decide to cross the street. I guess I could be nice and give a nice long tap (three seconds) of my horn to wake them.
My process on crossing streets:
So far, 60+ years and no one has hit me.
I’m surprised more pedestrians, unaware that some drivers don’t see them, just keep looking at their idiot phones waiting to get Darwinned while crossing the street. Even worse in parking lots.
My wife and I routinely cross a 4-way stop while walking through our neighborhood. We wait until someone waves us through, because it’s really the only way for us to verify we’ve been seen and they’re not going to try to run us over. We’ve had too many close calls from making assumptions.
And we always check the other directions, in the past month I’ve seen two people fly through without slowing.
A few weeks ago I had an idiot that I almost read ended had to slam on my brakes in my 32 year old truck luckily the brakes had just been done recently. The said idiot was trying to let people turn right when we had a green left turn arrow they had pulled into the intersection like they were going to turn but then came to a complete stop to try and let the opposing traffic that had a red light turn right.
Next can we talk about cars in the travel lane on the highway slowing down as they approach a merging on-ramp?
This has been a topic for conversation between my wife (who slows down because the merging driver may not see us) and me who supports the “be predictable” strategy” point from Bill D. That said, if you are driving on I75 in Detroit, in the right lane (don’t), during rush hour and a Dodge challenger comes up in the merge lane WOT, you need to be full “trust but verify mode” because even money they are going to count on you braking to avoid hitting them when push comes to shove.
One of my biggest pet peeves. “Be predictable, not polite.”
Also one of the worst things about US traffic engineering is the overuse and abuse of 4-way stop signs. They should be limited to situations where they’re truly warranted, like intersections with limited sight lines or where there’s continuous, high pedestrian volume. But damn near every stop is a 4-way stop, for some unaccountable reason. (I suspect it’s because 4-way stops are misused as a means of speed control.)
One of the results is that many drivers expect that all stop signs are 4-way stops, and will sometimes pull out on cross traffic that has right of way and does not have a stop sign.
if there’s a 4 ways top sign, it is a perfect opportunity for a roundabout.
They just re-built an intersection near me and initially made it a two way stop. I assume there must have been a bunch of accidents because a month or two later they made it a four way, which is terrible both because it should have remained a two way stop (one of the roads only goes to the back side of some businesses, and the other doesn’t really go anywhere because they removed the stop light it used to lead to so there’s very little reason to go that way) and because if they were going to make it a four way it should have been a roundabout when they tore the whole thing up.
I’m convinced the road planning people in my city are incompetent. They keep putting in these new intersections that don’t acknowledge the reality of how people drive and then are surprised when it’s a shitshow. We also have a bunch of roundabouts in the middle of nowhere that will be so old by the time the city actually expands that far they’ll need to be replaced anyway.
I am glad I now have a name for this.
When walking the dog and we approach an intersection with another car (were they may or may not see me) I will turn my back to the car and act interested in something else. I will do everything in my power to not make eye contact so they will hopefully move on.
When driving I have gotten the habit of sarcastically waving back at the people that wave me through an intersection when it is their turn. I doubt they pick up on the sarcasm, but its the best I can do short of getting out of the car and yelling at them.
Can you do your next article on people not turning into the closest lane to them?
THIS PLEASE!!! People in my area are so bad about this that you cannot safely make a right turn at multilane intersections unless the opposing left turn traffic has a clear red. Yes, the law is on your side but you will be in a crash and do you really want to deal with that?
I live in the heart of polite, Midwestern suburbia and my daily commute involves dozens of four-way stop signs. I get waved through several times a day and each time I get disproportionately annoyed. Every once in a while I pretend I didn’t see it and just outwait them. I then delight in seeing them get angry. I’m petty, is what I’m saying.
YES! This is the hill that I will die on! Or not die on, because I’m not sorry for being a safe, consistent, predictable driver by not yielding my rightful right of way.