Happy Friday, Autopians! And happy winter solstice tomorrow! Today we’re doing a four-way shootout of the week’s winners, and there is a scenario involved to help you choose, which we’ll get to in a minute.
Yesterday’s colorful Colorado cars were both pretty utilitarian, and I wasn’t sure which way you all were going to go. But it ended up being the Voyager by a substantial margin. From the sounds of it, the Swiss-army-knife qualities of the van were more appealing than the Kia-ness of the Kia to a lot of you.
I have to agree. I spent a big chunk of the 1990s servicing cars in a mom-and-pop gas station/garage, and as you might imagine, I saw the underside of approximately eighteen zillion Chrysler minivans in that time. I was always impressed by how well they held up with just normal maintenance. The Mitsubishi engine will burn some oil, but the rest of the mechanicals are more or less bulletproof.
All right, let me set the scene. I think I’ve used this one before, but what the hell. Your spouse’s Aunt Frieda is coming to visit for Christmas, and you have been tasked with picking her up from the airport. Unfortunately, thanks to a patch of ice and an ill-timed deer, your own car is out of commission. Thankfully, however, your neighbor is a faithful reader here, and subscribes to the “more is better” philosophy of car ownership. He’s reasonably sure these four will make it to the airport without issue, and he’s willing to loan you one of them. All you have to do is choose.
2004 Ford Thunderbird
The case for it: This was a pretty classy car in its day. And it’s still a quiet, comfy ride, with a little bit of style. Might score a few brownie points with the family.
The case against it: It’s a little threadbare inside, which takes away from the outside style a little bit. But at least the ripped seat is on your side, not Aunt Frieda’s.
2001 Honda Prelude
The case for it: Airports during the holidays can be chaotic places; it sometimes helps to have something that can cut and dodge its way through traffic with ease. And it is still really nice inside.
The case against it: It is a bit lacking in curb appeal. And it’s probably the least comfortable of the four choices on the highway.
1970 Lincoln Continental
The case for it: Style for miles, and it’s a car Aunt Frieda will be impressed by, since it’s from her era. The interior is supremely comfortable, the ride is like a cloud, and nothing says “outa my way, I’ve got places to go” better than this.
The case against it: It’ll take up a lot of room in the loading zone, which might make it tougher to find a spot. And if that leaky, slippy transmission decides to act up, you could be in some trouble.
1999 Plymouth Voyager
The case for it: It’s a good blend of comfort and practicality, with lots of room for luggage (in case she travels heavy) and nice upright seats that are easy to get in and out of.
The case against it: You may have to fend off other passengers who mistake it for a Super 8 Motel courtesy shuttle or something.
Well, there you have them: Four choices. Your choices. You’re driving one of them to the airport. What’ll it be? Discuss, debate, vote – and I’ll dig into my bag of tricks and see what I can come up with for next week. Have a great weekend!
(Image credits: sellers)
As almost always, oldest is coolest. Newest is lamest. Don’t shoot the messenger, I don’t make the rules
Really the minivan is the logical choice. Id actually prefer the truck from the Beverly Hillbillies. Plenty to notice and Aunt Frieda ain’t ever coming back for a visit. I’m not a fan of well people.
If there ever was a vehicle made for airport runs it’s definitely the minivan. The Conti would be my personal choice,but I cannot not vote for the Voyager.
How is this even a question?
Conti. Full stop.
Continental. Driving my grandchildren to a pizza place in this would be my reward for a life well lived.
Lincoln for sure. There’s huge appeal in a pre-smog land yacht to me.
“Grandma (or Aunt-in-law) got run over by a reindeer!”
Definitely the awesome classic Lincoln land yacht! Nice and comfortable cruiser. What a great deal that was. 2nd would be the Prelude but that had rust. Then the van (Down by the river!) The Fix Or Repair Daily Thunderbird is not even a consideration.
Jerry Seinfeld: “Keith Hernandez? I’m not DRIVING him to the airport!!!”
Give me the Linc, studded snows, 5 quarts of Type-F ATF and a funnel. I’m good.
Maybe I’ll find some Perry Como Christmas music on some forgotten AM station to make her feel even more at home.
I’m sure that Lincoln’s trunk can SURELY hold any amount of luggage that we’re requiring here, and given that Auntie’s probably going to be irritated from the joys of air travel anyway, giving her some room in the back seat a few zipcodes away is probably the wise move.
How dare you refer to a 5th gen Prelude as a shitbox…..
Predictable outcome is predictable.
I’ll go sleek T-bird because I would not subject a ’70 Lincoln to our already salted roads here.
“Listen, Betty, don’t start up with your white zone shit again.”
Seeing the others I just had to choose the Prelude. The Lincoln was a decent second though.
The Voyager is the best answer, but I want to take the Lincoln.
If the transmission in the Lincoln was solid, then that’s my pick. But it’s not and after the Edsel broke down on Aunt Frieda’s last visit, that’s all we heard about the whole time. And how her sister Blanche’s nephew had just gotten a Mercedes due to his thriving proctology practice.
Well her nephews experience should help with all those tight spaces in the engine bay.
Well, I picked the Honda. I actually use my Mustang GT for airport pickup duties for multiple reasons –
T-Bird: I like the commitment to the style, but it seemed to me that Ford didn’t quite go far enough to establish the T-bird bones. It looks like something retro but not that much like a T-bird. Besides that, I go to Home Depot often enough with a mind toward bringing something back big enough to warrant dropping the back seat, that I need a back seat to drop. Pass.
Prelude: Uh, no. Something that hasn’t been flogged by a boy racer, please?
Connie: Jesus Christ. Well, we know it hasn’t been flogged. On the upside you don’t need to flog, you just shove the gargantuan prow of this icebreaker into whatever opening you can find and just wedge your way in. No power so everything happens slowly, but plenty of torque – so it definitely happens. And whatever the transmission needs might be a matter of five minutes with a screwdriver. Sophisticated it is not – just like me.
Voyager: Now we’re talking. And as ambivalently as I regard them, the damned things do everything except drive themselves, but I don’t trust any of the hoopies that their manufacturers are claiming can drive themselves, so not a strike in my book. I’ve got a lot of seat time in the previous generation to this one so it’s a familiar place to be, and as much as I didn’t love the vehicle itself, I didn’t mind using it.
Voyager for me.
Voyager. Aunt Frieda is getting on in years. Climbing up into a car is a lot easier than falling down. Plus sliding doors have much less chance of being ripped off by an impatient Uber driver on their phone.
The Thunderturd is probably the better choice in the end for a fun weekender, But man that Big Black Lincoln is pretty hard to pass up even if it is completely the worst choice for a car guy with way to many cars and not enough garage.
The Lincoln is almost a limousine, so it gets my vote. If it were a keeper, I’d go with the Prelude, but just borrowing a car, I’ve got faith the transmission will get me to and from the airport. Build up momentum on the highway, and even if it slips, you’ll be sailing home!
The v8 wins for the thunderbird, but I’d sell it as soon as I could find a jaguar xj or xk to replace it with.
The Honda came in last place even though it’s the best car out of the 4 🙁
The day’s not over yet…
It the car that will offer the most enjoyment on the way home.
Its not the best. Unless you like the legless in the back seat. Even then it’s wwd. Even then it’s beaten by the ancient Lincoln in quality as the prelude looks fresh from the dumpster.