Home » There Are Few Horrors Worse Than A Highly-Depreciated German Luxury Car: COTD

There Are Few Horrors Worse Than A Highly-Depreciated German Luxury Car: COTD

Touareghuh
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Dear readers, I have an affliction. I make bad car buying decisions. I have six Smarts and keep buying VWs that burn me. Yet, I never learn my lesson!

Today, I showed you this by writing about very cheap Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDIs for sale. Look, there’s a reason people joke that cheap German cars are some of the most expensive cars you can buy.

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I’m not surprised to see few people interested, but the responses were fantastic. Aaronaut kicks it off:

“Volkswagen’s Craziest Modern SUV Has A V10 Twin Turbo Diesel And You Can Buy One For Dirt Cheap BUT FUCKING DON’T“

Plus Nsane In The MembraNe:

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I admire the absurdity that was the Piëch era, but I know to do so from afar.

And StillNotATony:

I’m on to you Mercedes! You’ve been talking about thinning your fleet, and this is a CLASSIC pump-and-dump! You’re telling us how great this car is riiiiight before you try to unload it.

You gotta get up pretty early in the morning to put one over on me!

Don’t worry, I’m not selling mine anytime soon! But, I guess I’m trying to get one of you to join me in the madness?

Today, Jason wrote about how Ford has patented a midgate for the Maverick, which is pretty cool! But it’s also sort of half-baked, as BolognaBurrito notes:

Nice. Would be nicer if you could get the glass out of the way too like GM’s mid-gate.

Rad Barchetta makes a good point here:

Getting the glass out of the way is easy. Getting it back in is the hard part.

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This morning, the Morning Dump covered how yep, cars are still pretty darn expensive. Gubbin’s comment is fitting:

Finance department be all:

Is it worth it? Let me work it

I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it

​ti esrever dna ti pilf ,nwod gniht ym tuP

​ti esrever dna ti pilf ,nwod gniht ym tuP

If you got a big [kaching!] let me search ya

And find out how hard I gotta work ya

Have a great evening, everyone!

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Ultradrive
Ultradrive
1 month ago

I see you and raise you a highly depreciated British vehicle.

Kyree
Kyree
1 month ago
Reply to  Ultradrive

How about multiples of each? I am the proud owner of—among other things—a 1996 Jaguar XJ12, a 2000 BMW 528i 5MT, a 2004 Volkswagen Phaeton V8 and a 2015 Land Rover LR4.

Ultradrive
Ultradrive
29 days ago
Reply to  Kyree

I myself have the trifecta of questionable automotive decisions. British, German and Italian. 1995 BMW 530i, 2001 P38 Range Rover 4.6, 2004 Cayenne S, 2018 Alfa Stelvio.

I think you 100% win with the Phaeton though. Love the XJ12!

Danny Zabolotny
Danny Zabolotny
1 month ago

Hey, if you buy a 30 year old German car, there’s not a ton to go wrong. My 1995 BMW 540i/6 is easily one of the more reliable vehicles on the road, as it has simple OBDI electronics, no variable valve timing, a manual transmission, and very few electronic gadgets to break. At 284k miles on the original motor and transmission it still drives excellent, all I’ve had to do to mine is replace the shocks and control arms because they were worn out. Replacement parts are cheap to buy as well.

Aaronaut
Aaronaut
1 month ago

Woohoo! First time, very proud.

Ultradrive
Ultradrive
1 month ago
Reply to  Aaronaut

I 100% read your comment in John Oliver’s voice.

Segador
Segador
1 month ago

I buy large German sedans at about the 3-year mark, where they’ve depreciated a ton but are not yet rolling land mines. This strategy has worked very well for me for over 20 years and a number of fantastic vehicles.

ProfPlum
ProfPlum
1 month ago
Reply to  Segador

How many years do you keep them for? From personal experience, I’d drop them between 6-8 years old.

Segador
Segador
1 month ago
Reply to  ProfPlum

at around 100k miles, regardless of age

Danny Zabolotny
Danny Zabolotny
1 month ago
Reply to  Segador

That’s the key for modern European vehicles. Buy em after the initial depreciation hit but have a remaining factory warranty and/or an extended warranty, dump em after that runs out.

Thx1138
Thx1138
1 month ago
Reply to  Segador

I did this with a CPO Mercedes 2017 C300 with a 3 year unlimited warranty (1 year and I added 2). They ended up replacing the wiring harness (PVC leak issue that now has a 15 year 150,000 mile extended warranty on it), the Hermes controller that more than paid for the $3,600 cost on the item.

Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
1 month ago

Well, Cadillac and Lexus both beat German cars when it comes to maintenance costs…with the exception of some models such as the Northstar and the like…

Rad Barchetta
Rad Barchetta
1 month ago

Thanks, Mercedes!

Bucko
Bucko
1 month ago

I realize that it is a lot of fun to make fun of high-mileage, highly-depreciated German luxury cars, but mine have been pretty reliable. I own or have owned my share.

Counterpoint: How about starting jokes about the reliability of late-2000s GM pickup trucks? After buying one with highly detailed service records, I have rebuilt the transfer case, the transmission, almost every suspension component, the hydraboost unit, just about every A/C blend door actuator, axle seals, injectors, and I am now troubleshooting the oil pressure circuit. All on a completely stock truck with less than 200,000 miles (fewer than my highly-depreciated German machines). Germans don’t have a lock on troublesome cars.

Totally not a robot
Totally not a robot
1 month ago
Reply to  Bucko

Yeah, but you didn’t have to do any of that stuff to your GM. It would still be rolling just fine without that work. Wouldn’t be pretty and wouldn’t sound nice, but it would go.

Frobozz
Frobozz
1 month ago

GM vehicles will run poorly longer than most vehicles will run at all.

Kevin B Rhodes
Kevin B Rhodes
1 month ago
Reply to  Frobozz

I can’t imagine why one would want to drive a poorly running vehicle for any length of time at all.

Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
28 days ago
Reply to  Kevin B Rhodes

A person who cannot afford a new car probably will…that is why you see some people here in Qatar with Cruze as well. Yes, they are the worst car for this description, but they are very cheap on the used market due to their negative reliability image, so buyers who cannot afford a Corolla but do not want a Chinese car will likely give this a shot…

Contrary to their bad reputation, they ARE RELIABLE IF YOU MAINTAIN THEM. I have seen several at 300k+ miles…yes some engines and years were worse than others, but generally depending on the model years, they can potentially go the distance….

Again, they have issues such as with the A/C going bad…but that is to be expected for something that is cheaper than a Toyota, and not everyone can afford Toyotas…used or new.

Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
1 month ago

GMC/Chevrolet do not have and DOES NOT build “emotion” into their lineup. Same with the Camaro and Corvette. NONE of them have emotion or character when compared to European sport vehicles, nor the styling of Lexus…but they will keep going with proper maintenance…

Mr. Fusion
Mr. Fusion
1 month ago

If not having the styling of Lexus is wrong, let GM never be right.

Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
29 days ago
Reply to  Mr. Fusion

So? They cannot be copycats….Yes, they have their issues serious and minor, but generally that has not stopped them from selling….Lexus has its brand loyalists too…

Bucko
Bucko
1 month ago

Beg to differ. Only time I have ever ridden in a tow truck was due to injectors on my Chevy truck. Would have made a second time last month had I chose not to ignore the low-oil pressure light. I won’t mention the blend door failure at -30F, 200 miles from home.

Fuzzyweis
Fuzzyweis
1 month ago
Reply to  Bucko

But you could get all that for the GM at the pick’n’pull for cheap, one of the issues with the German cars is cost and availability of parts.

Schrödinger's Catbox
Schrödinger's Catbox
1 month ago
Reply to  Fuzzyweis

I’d bet that some of those parts that older German cars run though are available in pick n pull lots. The difference is, a GM part obtained this way will likely be serviceable for the mid to long term. The German car, you’re just replacing semi-immediate problem with another until you buy the new part made of unobtanium, and neither part is gonna be a bargain.

That said, when a VW/Audi/Porsche runs well, it’s quite a pleasant sound. My neighbor picked up a project car, a 928, and when he drives it, the sound is beautiful.

Parsko
Parsko
1 month ago
Reply to  Bucko

Your pickup doesn’t throw a check engine light because the mirrors are adjusted incorrectly.

Stacheface
Stacheface
1 month ago
Reply to  Parsko

Our 2000 Beetle blows a dash fuse and makes the BRAKE warning flash and chime if we adjust the driver mirror, but the mirror will still move

Rad Barchetta
Rad Barchetta
1 month ago
Reply to  Bucko

But those repairs on a German car would take 10 times as long and cost 4 times as much.

Also, “Why the hell do I have to remove the taillight to replace a fuel injector?” is a phrase that has never been uttered while working on a GM truck, but is (probably) very common in the Audi and BMW communities.

Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
1 month ago
Reply to  Rad Barchetta

Probably Ford as well….depending on the engine they make serviceability as hard as possible…

But I agree. A GMT800 Escalade will take better pounding+ abuse and still keep running…doing it to a German car WILL MAKE YOU REGRET IT.

OrigamiSensei
OrigamiSensei
1 month ago
Reply to  Bucko

Meh, I’m about to drop another 3 grand into my 2007 Suburban that has a bit over 200,000 miles and I’m not at all worried about it. First, I bought it for absolutely dirt cheap a number of years back so throwing a few grand in parts and labor at it very couple of years doesn’t bug me. Also, my truck lives a very hard life and I use the snot out of it. That includes a a lot of hauling, camping, road-tripping, bad-roading (off-roading to me is hardcore Moab/Rubicon/desert running and things that require good geometry or mods to navigate, bad-roading is going places a soft-roader won’t like very much), and short distance towing, most of that in four wheel drive. The miles it does are hard miles.

Most highly-depreciated German luxury cars lived what should have been a much easier life and don’t have good excuses for their failures. I don’t begrudge doing what it takes to keep a well-used older truck going as it’s still much cheaper than buying another one. Parts and labor aren’t that expensive relative to the Germans, and once things are fixed they tend to stay fixed.

Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
1 month ago
Reply to  OrigamiSensei

How is the engine? I understand that those years had some issues with oil consumption…

OrigamiSensei
OrigamiSensei
1 month ago

I’m putting oil in at the rate of about a quart every 500 miles. However, part of the current repairs are for a leaky rear main seal and and oil leaks around the pan and up under the engine, so I don’t think it’s putting a lot of oil out the tailpipe. It’s just a lot of labor to get various seals replaced and leaks repaired (surprise, surprise, I take the thing into a lot of rough terrain) but the engine seems to be doing okay. There are no apparent problems with the notorious AFM at this time. And frankly, when I need to throw another 5.3 in it I will without hesitation. It’s a hard-working vehicle that takes a lot of abuse so it needs a commensurate amount of maintenance. Most vehicles that took this amount of wear would be dead by now rather than just needing repairs.

Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
1 month ago
Reply to  OrigamiSensei

Good to hear about the AFM. Change your oil regularly every 3k-5k miles using the correct type+filter, and you should be good to go for 900k+ miles- no joke.

I agree with your last words- a Mercedes GL would likely give up at this point.

GhosnInABox
GhosnInABox
1 month ago

The ability to make repeated bad car-buying decisions is, in itself, a luxury.

Gubbin
Gubbin
1 month ago

Missy Elliott wrote it, y’all!

Pupmeow
Pupmeow
1 month ago
Reply to  Gubbin

But you applied it to the situation beautifully. 🙂

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