If you’re a Pope reading this, you’re either Pope Francis or Pope Tawadros II, the Coptic pope. If you’re the Coptic one, I have some bad news: Mercedes-Benz’s latest Popemobile, an all-electric G-Wagen, is only being given to one pope, the Catholic one. Sorry, Coptic Pope! I know, I know, it’s some serious bullshit, but here we are.
You know what else is bullshit? A lot of outlets are touting this as the “first all-electric popemobile,” when it very much isn’t. The first all-electric popemobile was built and delivered for Pope Bendict XVII way back in 2012! It was a modified Renault Kangoo Maxi ZE van.
Here’s a video of that actually first electric popemobile:
Now, there are some that claim that popemobile wasn’t for “official” papal transport, but I think that’s splitting hairs. If it’s a vehicle specifically designed and built for pontiff transport, that’s a popemobile. And that Renault was just that.
(Photo: Mercedes-Benz)
This new popemobile is pretty sweet; it’s sort of like an El Camino-ized G-wagen, with an open-air Pope Containment Unit at the rear. This Pope-holding zone features a swiveling seat and even a heated handrail, and the G-Wagen is interesting in that it seems to be one of the few cars specially developed for slow-speed driving.
From Mercedes-Benz’ press release:
The electric drivetrain of the new G580 with EQ technology (combined energy consumption: 30.4-27.7 kWh/100 km | Combined CO₂ emissions: 0 g/km | CO₂ class: A)* was adapted to fully utilise the advantages of the four near-wheel motors for the special purpose of slow journeys at public appearances.
(Photo: Mercedes-Benz)
The new popemobile is finished in the traditional white with red carpeting, and I think has a sort of nautical look about it. There’s a removable canopy for inclement weather or protection from seagulls. An electric popemobile seems to make a lot of sense – this is a vehicle that travels on very set routes at low speeds, in close proximity to lots of people who likely aren’t fond of facefulls of exhaust. It’s an ideal use-case for an EV, which is why the reports of people complaining about the new popemobile as “a woke mockery of a papacy” are especially baffling.
The holy dude isn’t roadtripping in this thing, dummies. It’s fine.
There’s been a lot of interesting popemobiles over the years, including a really cool one based on a SEAT Panda:
(Photo: SEAT Collection)
…and my favorite, most obscure popemobile, one based on Madagascar’s only indigenous car, the Karenjy Mazana II:
(Photo: Karenjy)
There have been so many popemobiles over the years, and while some are in the hands of the Vatican, others are in museums and collections all over the world. I wonder if the Pope can show up wherever one is stored and demand to use it?
The modern template for Popemobiles likely started in 1980, with the first Mercedes-Benz G230 Popemobile that defined the large Pope Display Box configuration.
(Photo: Mercedes-Benz)
In fact, years ago I described how you could throw together a quick ersatz popemobile if you ever found yourself surprised by a papal visit, and you happened to have a phone booth and a car with a large sunroof like a Renault LeCar around:
(illustration: Jason Torchinsky)
This new Popemobile seems pretty great.
(Photo: Vatican News Service)
Will the pope ever get a chance to drive it? Does he even want to? And doesn’t his coat of arms look kind of like a cockroach?
I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I couldn’t help but see it that way?
Anyway, I hope Pope Francis enjoys his new EV. I mean, I know he will: after all, it’s the Vatican, not Vatican’t!
ok but can this tank turn?
Hey, since we’re at it, check out the portuguese popemobile from the Madeira island – likely the closest to your makeshift phonebooth+LeCar proposal, with its angular, no-nonsense canopy. It’s based on the mighty UMM, an updated Cournil licensed from the french parent company and built here in Portugal over two generations from 1977 to 2004. These little beasts were in some editions of the original Paris-Dakar race and were used by the military, fire brigades and forest authorities for a long time – there’s sill a few in active duty.
Might be a dung beetle there Torch?
On the other hand now I’m wondering if the Pope has any cool cars available to cruise in now and again?
Show of hands please if we wanna see Stellantis donate a new Charger to his most excellent self.
I mean he can’t get that much excitement these days…
It may not be the first electric papal conveyance, but is it the first one with a heated handrail?
“Authorities say the phony Pope can be recognized by his high top sneakers and extremely foul mouth”
-Kent Brockman
EV so he can sneak up on the children.
“ Pope Containment Unit at the rear. This Pope-holding zone….”
“ Pope Display Box ”
I absolutely love this site. I literally laughed out loud thank you Jason.
Sono sempre stato geloso. Solo la Pontif può avere una station wagon G. Noi membri inferiori della società siamo relegati alla Yugo Ciao Sport, o peggio ancora, alla FIAT Multipla. Eh?
When a pope came to Baltimore, in the 1990s, I had the pleasure of seeing the Papal parade and he was riding in a G wagon. It was really cool and as a matter of fact he glowed.
I called it a pleasure to watch the parade, because I like the cars. I’m not particularly religious so the pope wasn’t that big deal. But I really like the car.
I bet it cost a lot more than the perfectly thought out, Bargain at 30k., Grounded T1, so I have to give it a FAIL!
To be honest the curved canopy on that new G-Wagen Popemobile looks like a blatant rip-off of the Karenjy Mazana II. Seriously Benz, get your own ideas!
In some ways, it’s almost bringing things full circle, with the new G-Wagen Popemobile looking very much like the 1980 example (because the new G-Wagen itself looks very much like the 1980 version), but also because Pope Francis has generally eschewed bulletproof glass enclosures in favor of open cars with maybe a canopy for rain and sun protection, which is also how things started off with John Paul II. They didn’t go to fully enclosed, armored vehicles until after his assassination attempt in 1981, but with so many decades passing without a major threat, Francis considers it a calculated risk
I sure hope the Pope in this one lights up.
Yes, and if you shake it up you’ll see fake snow swirling around in it! I wonder if it plays 8-bit Christmas tunes too?
Is the band name Electric Pope already taken?
dont talk potty words in god’s house ☺ (er .. merc)
Can’t God make the Pope walk again?
He can, but the Pope owes him money, so he won’t until things are square.
ROFL!
It’s not a matter of money.
He owes a god a fucking damned shrubbery. A nice one.
They never learn that lesson.
That’s why. And maybe one or two other reasons.
I read this entire article in Jim Gaffigan’s voice.
“Pope pocket…”