Look, I’m not suggesting this is a big deal or anything like that, but there’s something about this little detail I want to show you that just somehow rubs me the wrong way. Perhaps it’s because of the past issues I’ve had with the Tiguan: the timing chain fiasco, the stupid fake wheel bolt cover things – or maybe its because this one feels so dishonest. And not just dishonest: needlessly dishonest, which somehow makes it all worse. I should explain.
Again, this is the tiniest of details, and it’s not like it causes any real problems or anything, this is entirely a conceptual, perhaps even philosophical problem.
But, to me, it’s still a problem.
And it’s a little bit of a betrayal, because the one saving grace of this car is that the interior is really lovely: open and airy and comfortable and just generally a nice place to be. I made that image above a when I was having the big timing chain problems to convey this very idea. So the fact that this is an interior design issue just makes it all feel worse.
Anyway, here’s what I mean. It has to do with this handle that is used to open a little storage cubby, the same one that you pull all the way out to get to the OBD port. The handle looks like this:
No big deal, normal pull handle, right? Well, not exactly. You see, the way that plastic handle looks, with the different texture on the handle and that separation from the rest of the surrounding plastic suggests that it operates like this:
You know, it’s one of those handles that pulls up and actuates a latch or whatever. You’ve used them on doors and other things a million times before. But that’s not how it actually works! It’s not a movable handle at all! It’s just a simple molded-in plastic recess that you just yank and it pops out a cheap plastic latch thing with no actual moving parts. It’s a lie!
If this handle were honest, it’d look more like this:
That’s what this handle really is: just a molded-in concavity. But the way it’s been molded and designed is meant to look like a more complex sort of latch and handle mechanism and it’s not, it’s just not, and I feel like VW was trying to fool me into thinking that it is and that makes me wonder why, why go through this effort for something so trivial, why try to make this simple thing that you can hardly see anyway into something that it isn’t?
It just feels like a strange, tiny betrayal, but one I just didn’t need. You don’t need to pretend, Tiguan. Your interior is already your best quality, so why the fakery? The silly, needless, stupid fakery?
I’m not mad. Just dissapointed.
VW lies, it’s totally on brand.
It’s a VW, so if it was a real latch and handle, the mechanism that it operates would be broken by now. You should be grateful for the lack of moving parts here!
Latches that don’t latch and bizarre credit card holders throughout the cabin – it’s a weird CPA-designed monstrosity.
Are the credit card holders some Euro thing? My Golf has them too… my thought is that they are for toll road passes? Maybe?
I pictured Europe-eans as proper les Gars and die Dames with boundless credit cards: one for the toll-roads, one for the petrol stations, one for drive-thru food establishments, one for fine motorway bridges, etc. But then I went to Europe and I’m back to having no idea why they have the holders!
They are to put those paper cards with magnetic stripes that you receive when you enter a parking garage over here in Europe/ Germany. Probably a good thing because I tend to forget to put them in a place where I find it fast while dealing with finding a parking spot in the dark-ish garage.
Aha – garages! Do you need space for eight of them, or is that just Big Parking screwing with the little consumer?
Torch, there is an easy way to correct this. Go to your infotainment screen and select:
Vehicle
Settings
Interior
Appearances
Handles and pulls
Scroll to the pulls you want to change and select:
Textures
Scroll to the alternative texture you would prefer and select that.
changing from the default texture is a subscription though, $49.99 a month and it changes back every time the car is turned off.
Better hope he has a GTX 4070 or all those advanced textures are really going to do a number on his frame rate.
Also I’m never going to miss out on an opportunity to post this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgUvwcU6P7I
It’s made that way for a reason. The texture difference is not as easily explainable.
In order to produce a one-piece part with the same recess, which goes in and then tunnels sideways under the skin like a fracking drill, you need a mold with a relatively complex moveable core set. This is expensive, and it wears out, and it produces mold flash lines that will have to be trimmed at the lower edge of the recess where your knuckles will be brushing against. So even though adding a part is expensive for multiple reasons, it might be a better solution.
As far as the non-matching texture, there is a general design idea that smaller parts get smaller scale textures. But I agree that if this part shared the same texture as the main panel it would look much better, and convey the idea of being a fixed pull rather than a moving latch, if. I wonder whether there was a problem in implementing the coarser texture around the curves at the edges of the part.
Torch wasn’t suggesting a concave area under there that would require fancy tooling, he’s saying why suggest a FAKE lift handle; you could make the exact same part with the same tooling but have it be honest design.
Your point is valid about instructing the user. There are ways to instruct users that something is a touch point without molding in a fake lift handle, however.
I’m going to guess that it was cost cutting, originally it was supposed to have a lift handle, but they realized they could save like $3 per vehicle by doing this instead.
If I’m not mistaken (maybe I misunderstand), Torch’s design still has an undercut hollow going upwards so that you can pull the bin forwards. If so, that requires expensive tooling and creates a parting line.
But he never said that. He just removed the fake latch so the texture continued.
No, I don’t think that’s correct. Look at the “fixed” image that Jason did. The non-matching plate has not just been removed, it has been replaced with a continuous surface extending downwards from the main surface. That new bit of surface that is replacing the old separate piece still has to have an undercut void behind it, otherwise you can’t use the feature to pull the door forwards.
Does this door or bin front not have to be pulled forwards?
There was no separate piece. That was the point of the article. It was fake.
He’s just saying it shouldn’t look like a latch. You can definitely do this, you put no texture on the upper surface that you grab, and make it 1 degree or so. Would still be a simple 2 piece tool, no need for actions.
Nah. It’s clearly done on purpose – see the implication link above. Or more like a suggestion of the implication and I agree it’s sneaky sad. Can you imagine the design review of that one? Yes? Now add very serious upstanding german speaking people arguing for this silly artifice.
I’m going to guess that is an actual handle on higher spec’d cars – probably in europe.
Nope it’s a single piece of plastic on all trim levels.
Perhaps it’s because the handle on the little storage bin under the dash on my GTI operates an actual latch, but this doesn’t seem like something to put a lot of energy into being aggravated over.
I can tell Jason is going to need a lot of handholding over this.
I love the great/ungreat diagram. I made a lot of money working on those CCTA/CBFA engines. Can’t help you with the handle, though. Maybe they were originally intending it to be a handle and just never got around to implementing it?
It was due for the mid-cycle refresh, but then VW decided people didn’t need buttons.
Hey, at least they didn’t use the handle from the Phaeton, which has 16 motors, 27 hinges, four fuses, three relays, and 43 fiber-optic cables connected to the CANBUS.
Actually its connected to the LIN bus, so when your handle fails you get no door locks, radio doesnt work, your mirrors adjust to the sky and stay there, multiple warning lights on the dash and your car alarm goes off.
That’s so strange. I’ve got a 2014 Sportwagen and both the little cubby below and to the left of the steering wheel, and the glove box, have regular pull to open handles. Weird that they’d cheap out on that in the Tiguan but not base model cars like mine.
What he’s leaving out is that pulling on it not only exposes the Tiguan OBD port, but is also the emergency release for a Tesla door.
Which Tesla and which door is not well understood at this time.
I could see right away where this was going (get out of my head, Jason!). But I thought there would be a little button up inside there to release the latch. Does it at least have an additional recess behind the fake handle for your fingers to grab? If not, that’s even sillier. At the same time, I’m not sure I hate the visual cue that this is a handle. It’s almost like a big, textural icon.
If it looked like Jason’s suggestion, I could imagine people getting upset. “How should I know it was a handle for the compartment door??? It just looks like someone messed up at the molding manufacturer!”
I kind of like the original design. It undoubtedly signals that it is a handle and needs to be pulled in order to function.
Yeah, that is what I was thinking. Much more obvious that you’re supposed to grab there. I think it looks nicer too.
If only VW had been as thorough engineering the engine as they were designing this stupid trim piece.
My wife has a 2012 Tiguan SEL with the turbocharged motor. It’s a very comfortable car but it’s got some quirks for certain. I stripped the oil pan drain plug because God forbid VW use a regular hex head bolt. I replace all the brake pads for the first time over the summer, and essentially had to completely take apart and reassemble the electronic parking brake because I guess we shouldn’t be able to conveniently replace consumables ourselves.
All in all not the worst car I’ve serviced (my sister’s 2018 Rogue was awful), but I stand by my Toyotas.
Yeah, gotta have VCDS/OBDeleven etc for the rear brakes. If you already have one for fun coding purposes it’s NBD, but if you just wanna do a brake job it’s essentially a $60 tool you gotta buy.
Having that would have saved me roughly three hours and full brake bleed. Unfortunately the Tiguan was our only running vehicle at the time so I didn’t have the luxury of going out and buying it or waiting for it to arrive.
There’s supposed to be some kind of workaround that will let you do it without, but I didn’t have any luck. I do count myself lucky that I was able to get the job done in a day.
The rear caliper/ebrake on my honda has to be retracted as well. I found a few references on yt showing several ways to do the job. Dealer and expensive machine, partually disassemble the caliper and screw it back to the stop, and my choice, use longer needle nose pliars to screw it back to the stop. Not sure if vw gives you any of these options.
Most people end up destroying the caliper. There is a way to take it off but it usually doesn’t end well. Best bet is retraction through the computer.
If my luck were any worse, the rear brakes and e brake would be toast. Came pretty close to chewing up all that rubber trying to fit everything back together.
I’m *supposed* to be able to screw it back to the stop manually, but for whatever reason no matter how much I screwed, it wouldn’t retract. Couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong for the life of me.
Granted I’m 22 and not the brightest bulb, but I’ve done other jobs which are at least theoretically more intensive.
Here is the howto I used and one for a Tiguan the parking brake systems and for that matter the calipers look very similar. I have been doing my brakes and service for decades. I changed the rotors, pads and bled the brakes this past summer. I do it every few years. Also did the cvt fluid and coolant flush as well as an oil change. Yt is yourfriend, used to use Chilton manuals before the internet.
Tiguan
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=o11MROKQEOI
Honda
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qMlQtLupkms
Worst part of the job was folding my old bones up enough to do the work – I’m 66.
The link for the Honda video is the following. The one I posted above is slightly harder.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L1mww3DsBUU
That’s just for the OBDII dongle. Still gotta buy the software/app
The software is free for either. OBDeleven isn’t the bargain it used to be with their new subscription, but you can still do a lot with it even without the subscription. AFAIK you can’t use the “one click app” to release the parking brake, you need credits for that, but you can still go into the controller and do it manually. I bought VCDS when OBDe went to a subscription so I admittedly haven’t used it in a long time.
Yeah, the subscription model makes it a bit of a ripoff. May have to go to VCDS FORNTHE VW and ISTA for the BMW on the windows laptop I bought for FORSCAN for the Ford. Grrr
14 comments deep and nobody has mentioned “The Implication” yet?
The Tiguan is not a Finisher Car though.
Y’know, because of the implication
Torch : What do we need a fake handle outline for?
VW : What do you mean what do we need a fake handle outline for? Why in the hell do you think we just spent all that money on a crossover? The whole purpose of making the crossover in the first place was to get the ladies impressed by the interior so we can take ’em to a nice comfortable place at the finance desk and, you know, they can’t refuse, because of the implication.
Torch : Oh, uh… okay. You had me going there for the first part, the second half kinda threw me.
VW : Well dude, dude, think about it: she’s out in the middle of a generic sales office with some dude she barely knows. You know, she looks around and what does she see? Nothin’ but Kias getting stolen and Ford recalls. “Ahh, there’s nowhere for me to run. What am I gonna do, say ‘no’?”
You’d think the commenters couldn’t refuse. That they would never say no. Because of the implication.
What I love about the older Tiguans: they’re a Golf on stilts. Arguably VW’s core vehicle, but with a bit of height.
What I hate about the current Tiguan: it’s nothing like a Golf. It’s just an SUV; I can get an SUV anywhere.
Those first gen Tiguans are great. I enjoyed how they drove and they did very well in snow with the right tires.
The new one is an absolutely snooze fest. Current VW design doesn’t do anything for me.
They look like bigger, more expensive Hondas to me. I appreciate that they’re not all in on fake vents and lines like a lot of manufacturers though. I can appreciate simplicity.
The only good thing about the newer gen one is that the engine does not self-destruct with the same frequency as the old 2.0t (as Jason found out the hard way – I’ve seen the video with the Humble Mechanic on that!). That and you can actually fit a family of four plus a stroller, car seats, and groceries in the new one. The old one was the short wheel base version and you really could not fit much in the cargo area once a stroller was involved.
I thought you were going to say you were mad that the grain of the plastic didn’t match
That’s exactly what was grinding my gears when I saw the photo. Two different fake-leatherette textures on a single piece of cheap plastic is abominable.
Did you buy a VW with the expectation of logic and quality?
My only counterargument is that it’s molded to look like a handle to make it obvious it’s a spot to be pulled on, rather than just an indent where someone might be confused about it’s purpose. I know that’s stupid, but we have warnings on shampoo bottles these days. Also remind me of “Think about the intelligence of the average person. Half of the population is dumber than that”
Wash, rinse, repeat.
Warning: do not insert… ya know what, we better not go there
Jason can’t even handle it.
(golf clap)
colin chapman: “simplify then add lightness”.
german automotive engineering ethos: “complicate then add mass”
Americans to automakers: we will do the mass adding on our own. Thank you very much.
Not only is it fooling you, it’s also laughing at you. It’s laughing at you with its thick beige mustache. Don’t you want to punch it? I do. Or kick it. I bet it’s made from that thin brittle plastic stuff that splits apart with a loud crack. Wouldn’t that feel satisfying?
Mmm reminds me of the plastic used to make the dash vents in Trackers and Sidekicks. As it aged it crumbled like cornflakes.
I’ve had a couple of Tiguans and I can definitely relate. The other one that got me were the multitude of slots that I can only assume were for business cards.
One of the features I did enjoy, though, was the little recessed area on top of the dash. Good spot for sunglasses.
My Focus has a weird “card’ (it’s labeled) holder in the center console that seems like it could either be for business cards, access cards, or maybe even playing cards, but Ford refuses to say which in the manual or anywhere. And nothing quite fits well in it. At least the “lip balm” holder is clear, even if it’s seemingly not sized for any I can find.
I always thought they were for those little tickets you get in parking garages
This one is a recessed area with pronged holders that extend downward, like to hold something in place. I enjoy the oddness of it.
https://www.theautopian.com/i-cant-decide-if-these-weird-slots-on-the-vw-tiguans-dashboard-are-useful-or-stupid/
I found a site which made a 3D printed phone holder which stuck in those slots