Look, I’ll be honest with you here: this post is not a good idea. Mercedes just wrote a more straightforward post about this thing already, the Grounded T1, a sort of e-bike-based RV, and we don’t really need two posts about this thing. But I can’t help myself. I can’t help myself because this thing is one of the stupidest fucking things I’ve seen in a long time, and it hurts too much to just keep that inside. I have to let it out, and, I apologize in advance, but I’m going to let it out here, right now. Let’s get it over with.
Okay, so, let’s just be absolutely clear about what we have here: this is an e-bike that’s pulling a small, narrow box. It’s a tiny, tiny home mounted on a four-wheel platform with a seat and some handlebars and a front wheel bolted to it. It’s electric powered, with a claimed range of 150 miles and a top speed of 15 mph. It can technically sleep two, but you’re only supposed to drive it with one, because I guess you can’t have anyone in the house part while it’s in (very slow) motion.
Here, looking at a picture gives a pretty good idea about this thing:
It definitely appears to be well-made, which just makes me angrier, because I know there are a lot of people who put a lot of good effort into this thing, a lot of hard work and talent and skill. And all of that is a damn shame, an absolute tragedy, because the fundamental idea behind this $30,000 machine is so deeply, irretrievably stupid.
Here’s my problem with this thing: who is it for? What are you supposed to do with this fucking thing? You’re not taking it off-road, at least nothing beyond a pretty mild trail that doesn’t have too many tree roots or especially robust mushrooms. You’re not taking it on the highway, because it only goes 15 mph. I guess you could drive it in the same places I drive my absurd little EV, my Changli, which can hit 20+ mph, if needed. And those places are pretty much in-town streets with a speed limit of 35 mph or less.
So, is that where you’re camping? Down the road from your house? Between where you live and that restaurant you like? Is this for going over to that bar or pub that’s just about walking distance from your house, but now you can crash in the parking lot when you get too drunk? If so, that’s the first practical use I’ve been able to think of for this inane pile.
Sure, it has a range of 150 miles, that’s not so bad. But you can only go 15 mph. And the driver’s seat is completely exposed to the elements out there. A beach chair on an outdoor deck has more protection than that bright green seat. So, that means if you were actually going to use this to go any distance – to go “adventuring,” as the company implies you can, you’ll be in that exposed seat for potentially up to ten hours, in the cold and rain or baking sun or whatever is going on outside.
Who the hell wants that? What’s the point of this thing? Again, who is this for?
Grounded’s website describes a target buyer for us:
“The bicycle-class light electric vehicle combines the cargo capacity of a van with the carbon footprint of an e-bike, enabling sustainability-focused adventurers to live and work comfortably in the outdoors with a minuscule footprint.”
Okay, so it’s for “sustainability-focused adventurers to live and work comfortably in the outdoors.” You know what? I’m calling big heaping forkfulls of bullshit on this one. Are these adventurers already in the outdoors? Just sitting there on a pile of leaves? Because that’s the only way this stupid heap is getting to the outdoors: if it gets delivered there. And it’s not getting them out of the outdoors, unless their idea of adventuring and outdoor living means doing it all within a short hop from a town, a hop that doesn’t require the use of highways or interstates.
This is, at best, like backyard camping. For $30-fucking-thousand dollars.
Look at this picture Grounded sent out:
Where is this? Is it on a parking deck? Because that’s the only place that looks anything like that where you can comfortably drive an overpriced toy that only goes 15 mph. It sure as hell isn’t on a real overpass on some highway, because taking this on the highway just proves you want to commit suicide in the most expensive and inconvenient way.
What about this promo picture up there? It looks like a screenshot from Myst or some shit. How did that trike-camper get there? Maybe it’s always there, condemned to circle that perfectly smooth ring of a road forever.
Is this part of that same smooth ring-road? Maybe. Probably. Because its only in fictional environments like these that this idiotic contraption makes any sense.
Ugh, this thing, this stupid fucking thing. It feels so cynical, so much the product of hubris from some tech-industry dipshits who are convinced any idea they have is a great one. It’s so frustrating because they almost have something good here, if they weren’t so inspired after seeing (as our own Thomas Hundal guessed) a Big Wheel parked next to a porta-potty.
There are so many baffling bad decisions here. Like, why not enclose the driver? How much harder would that have been? Look:
And the camper itself –it looks nicely made and elegantly designed and remarkably light – wouldn’t it have been vastly more useful if it was a pull-behind camper for small cars with minimal tow ratings?
Why couldn’t this have been something like that? A camper you could tow behind a Metro or Miata or Mirage or Mini or some other tiny car that may or may not start with “M?” That would actually be useful. You could actually take the damn thing places, places that you may need to use highways to get to, places that you may want to go to at speeds faster than that of an average dog.
And, as you go there, you won’t get rained on, and you can bring a friend!
Why is Grounded building this thing? Who is telling them this is a good idea? Maybe there are people with highly specific use cases for whom this makes some kind of sense? People who really want a Tiny Home but also need to, what, move it a couple times a week to avoid parking tickets? People who vomit if they go more than 16 mph?
I feel like the market for people who are into this sort of responsible, slow adventuring are already pretty well served by all the bike campers out there; things like these:
That’s 25 minutes of ultra-light, bike-camping options. They can actually go on park bike paths and trails, which usually don’t allow any motor-driven vehicles, even e-bikes. The Grounded T1 feels just too large and heavy for the sorts of places these bike campers go, while simultaneously being too minimal and slow for places fully motorized campers go.
It’s the worst of all the worlds!
It’s useless. It’s so stupid, it makes me angrified, because a company has gone through all of the effort to make this thing real. Of all the things that haven’t made it to production, this thing gets to? Why? Why?
Let’s even pretend it’s not $30,000 dollars. Let’s pretend I just gave you one of these. What are you going to do with it? Could you even take it anywhere that makes sense? Can you find some meandering path to a place worth camping out in? Will it take you days to get there? Are you just going to sleep on the shoulder of the road while you slowly crawl there? Are you going to just ask some random house if you can recharge from one of their outdoor outlets?
Or is this thing going to sit in the corner of your driveway until the heat death of the universe, though maybe occasionally you’ll crawl in it to have a snack or a wank to something that requires a special level of privacy.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I’m happy to listen to defenses of this thing, and I’d love to be convinced that I’m wrong. Maybe there is a great use case for this dumb, heavy tricycle-with-a-shed. If so, I’d love to hear it.
But, so far, I’m just annoyed this idiotic thing is on its way to existing.
I dunno local urban camping on a flat terrain route with wide sweeping turns and a pace of 5MPH. And when you jackknife this going down a hill and 1000+ lbs of stuff smashes into you… grounded
It so you have a wall to duct tape a $6.2 million dollar banana. Movable art, I ain’t buying it, moving on.
It’s for narcoleptic kindergarten students.
Please tell us how you really feel about this piece of shit Torch?
Ha – what will AI design next?
I’d love to see a hot-air-balloon-treehouse camper where you could soar from one tree to the other as nature intended.
Or a sledge on wheels that could be pulled by a team of six housecats ala Radagast the Brown.
Maybe a human bubble ball that is a mini-camper and is powered by the wind and sun!
Maybe they plan to release it on March 32nd and it’s some sort of long con?
Someone beat me to the Rumspraga joke. Damn.
It’s limited to 15mph so you can take it out on tour and power it on your own sense of self-satisfaction that you’re being eco-friendly, unlike that awful mile of cars backed up behind you.
Except it’s not going to fit between lanes of cars. Too wide. Maybe on the shoulder you that hope doesn’t end or drop off? And with no mirrors, it’s hi-ho, safety! I’d love to see it with the gigantic extension mirrors you’d have to put on the trike front tube to be able to see around the box.
“Except it’s not going to fit between lanes of cars. “
As if that ever stopped a lane splitter.
I was thinking more like country roads, like where packs of spandex warriors roam two-wide.
Techbros inventing things that already exist but worse.
Oh good, now I have something to park beside my Arcimoto
Wait! What’s that sound? It’s like someone scraping a house key along piano strings. Could it be? OMG, it’s a motherfrakkin’ TARDIS! They’ve built a proto-TARDIS! Bet it’s bigger on the inside. It all makes sense now.
I’m not buying one unless it comes with a Humane AI pin and a Juicero. And don’t you dare think I’ll accept anything less than an NFT for the bill of sale.
I was just coming to make a Juicero joke, and you beat me to it! This is a symptom of venture capital not having a clue and being convinced to shovel money at really, REALLY bad ideas.
This is designed to appeal to stupid VC money, not customers.
Yep 😉
It was designed using a Cue Cat mouse rather than a Cintiq device.
I could maybe see this as the base for a mini food truck, like an electrified version of a hotdog cart. It could get into parking lots at events, set up on the grass in public parks, construction sites and maybe even at national and state parks since, with a big lithium power pack, there’s no need for a noisy, dirty generator. Of course with it’s modular but proprietary design and high cost it may be better to build the trailer and attach it to an existing electric trike. That’s the only use I can think of for this type of design. Other than a toy, of course.
I think the company already sells a bicycle/tricycle cargo trailer for neighborhood deliveries, which is what this camper is based on, that would probably be a better blank slate for a food truck conversion
They should absolutely stick to that.
You’d still need to tow this to the event on a trailer. You could tow a decent trailer with a regular EV and have access to much more battery power.
I want a comparison test. A shootout.
Which is the more agreeable camping setup: The Aztek, or this thing.
The comparison test has to start in LA, and travel to Joshua Tree for the campout though.
It really needs to be an overland event, but I say anything goes.
Just like watching a tough truck competition at the county fair, Any situation where we can sit back and watch a $30,000 piece of equipment get it’s ass kicked by some hillbilly in a 20 year old beige GM product is good entertainment.
No chance of getting one after this rant.
Torch, this was the only appropriate response to something so absurdly representating how far down the hole we have gotten with “innovative” ideas. Sometimes things haven’t been done because there is no reason to and the mere existence of shit like this puts me/us into a existential tailspin on the downfall of humanity.
“ But, so far, I’m just annoyed this idiotic thing is on its way to existing.”
Don’t worry… the bad renders are as close as it will get to existing.
I have a question- What is the purpose of the crank? There doesn’t seem to be a chain or chainring, so maybe it’s driven by a propshaft? A generator? Because an average person sitting in a reclined position like that mighttttt be able to hit 100 watts an hour at pedals. You’re getting like no power here. Also I question if this would even be considered an e-bike? Isn’t cut off like 1800w max for classification? At 1800w, even steady, I’m not sure you would actually be able to get it up a hill. And you know where’s one place aerodynamics matter a ton, bicycles. Even removing the pointlessness of this thing. It seems like it wouldn’t actually function in getting you from any real point a to b.
If I had to guess, they didn’t render the ridiculously long chain, or maybe it is a generator? Neither Grounded nor the cycle company say. Also, the motor is 750W, so hills, bumps, and whatever you ate for lunch are your enemies.
I can’t imagine it would even get up a 2% incline. A Conti Race King 2.1”, probably the fastest wideish tire, has a 22 watt lose per tire at 30 kph set up tubeless. These tires are a lot wider, and likely a dog shit compound and thick af. Being generous that’s like a 50 watt lost per tire. Your really only putting 400 watts too the ground before ignoring drivetrain lose which would be around 5-10% dependent on chain and routing. That’s before you have the CdA of a literal house. In a slight headwind, I bet this thing tops out at like 3 mph.
Headwind = reverse gear.
I have to admit, when I first read your initial question, I thought you were talking about Torch. As in, “what’s the purpose of the crank writing this screed?” I was all set to defend his honor…
” You know Lloyd, Just when I thought you couldn’t be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and TOTALLY redeem yourself!!”*missed high-five*
It exists soley to attract millions of $$$ of venture capital, and if it does so it’s a success. If a few trust fund brats who can’t get it together enough to get a drivers license buy, it’s a roaring success!
why not just market a compact countertop automatic bread oven that has the dough and all required ingredients in a small plastic pod and is connected to WiFi so it can automatically reorder bread pods as needed, and is also programmed to not work if any non-OEM pods are inserted (verified by QR scan)? And hire Pininfarina to design the plastic casing. That ought to attract a few VC bucks, and might sort of work.
Cory Doctorow is a great author, and he’s always just a little ahead of the curve.
I take it you’ve read Radicalized?…
I read it when it was published — and I decided to NEVER say a word about that story to anyone.
Reminds me of Continental Baking (Wonder Bread)’s “Bread DuJour” brand- It existed solely because Continental Baking executives saw a bread machine in the 80s and panicked. Four decades later, Continental Baking went bankrupt and bread machines never really caught on…
Somewhere in Brunei a check is being written.
I’ve never wanted the Autopian to do a drive-review a RV more than this one…
I’m with you. Maybe we’d continue the joke here by having me do a MotorWeek style drive and then Jason, is Jason. But I have a feeling Grounded isn’t going to be sending us emails anymore. 🙂
Oh, that would be fantastic!
But yeah, they probably won’t be contacting you again. Not that any of these are likely to be actually built.
Torch, settle down. We don’t need you unzipping another aorta.
Counter-point: Thanks for letting it out Torch. We don’t need you unzipping another aorta.
If I were given one of these I would it exactly 1 time. If the Eagles are to win the Superbowl anytime in the near future, I would ride from my house to Broad Street the night before the parade and camp there. My expectation would be during the course of the parade it would get confused for a porta potty, and mobile sex room, or some sort of opium den. Eventually leading to its destruction at the hands of drunk Eagles fans.
Win or lose, Eagles fans will destroy it. On this we can be sure of.
I dunno. I wouldn’t put Philly fans anywhere near that quantity of batteries…
I figured it out. It’s for prostitutes. You need to be able to see the merchandise so no cabin. You can check out the limbs in motion working the pedals and handlebars.. You don’t want to go too fast lest you miss a customer or vice versa. There’s a bed and sink in back. It’s green so sex workers can be carbon neutral. Prostitutes can make good money (depending on pimp situ) so they can afford it. Not the meth addicted corner worker, but the ones doing it for money or because they like the business. That’s the target market.
That’s what I think.
Get a tricycle ice cream cart and drill a hole in the side.
1. Take a zero off the price
2. Rebrand as an environmentally friendly nano pop up banana stand.
Job done. There’s always money in the banana stand.
beat me to it
I feel like there is this thing that serves the same purpose while being much, much lighter and much, much more aerodynamic when being moved. I think it’s called a “tent”. You can even move them easily with a regular old 2-wheeled muscle-powered bike! Not disruptive enough, I guess. Maybe they could find a way to add AI to a tent.
Yes, yes. A “taint,” they could call it.
This is brilliant!
ROFL!
This product reminded me of those fast food restaurant toy sets you could get your grand kids while they were in elementary or middle school, so they could pretend play slopping food before they actually had to start doing it to earn money while in high school.
With that in mind, the market is RV park owners with kids or grandkids, looking way ahead to pass the family business on to the next generation.
Research shows the potential sales will max out at maybe two dozen, if they drastically cut the build quality and price it on the other side of the Laffer curve.
I’m with you Torch – I’ve got no idea why this thing exists.