Look, I’ll be honest with you here: this post is not a good idea. Mercedes just wrote a more straightforward post about this thing already, the Grounded T1, a sort of e-bike-based RV, and we don’t really need two posts about this thing. But I can’t help myself. I can’t help myself because this thing is one of the stupidest fucking things I’ve seen in a long time, and it hurts too much to just keep that inside. I have to let it out, and, I apologize in advance, but I’m going to let it out here, right now. Let’s get it over with.
Okay, so, let’s just be absolutely clear about what we have here: this is an e-bike that’s pulling a small, narrow box. It’s a tiny, tiny home mounted on a four-wheel platform with a seat and some handlebars and a front wheel bolted to it. It’s electric powered, with a claimed range of 150 miles and a top speed of 15 mph. It can technically sleep two, but you’re only supposed to drive it with one, because I guess you can’t have anyone in the house part while it’s in (very slow) motion.
Here, looking at a picture gives a pretty good idea about this thing:
It definitely appears to be well-made, which just makes me angrier, because I know there are a lot of people who put a lot of good effort into this thing, a lot of hard work and talent and skill. And all of that is a damn shame, an absolute tragedy, because the fundamental idea behind this $30,000 machine is so deeply, irretrievably stupid.
Here’s my problem with this thing: who is it for? What are you supposed to do with this fucking thing? You’re not taking it off-road, at least nothing beyond a pretty mild trail that doesn’t have too many tree roots or especially robust mushrooms. You’re not taking it on the highway, because it only goes 15 mph. I guess you could drive it in the same places I drive my absurd little EV, my Changli, which can hit 20+ mph, if needed. And those places are pretty much in-town streets with a speed limit of 35 mph or less.
So, is that where you’re camping? Down the road from your house? Between where you live and that restaurant you like? Is this for going over to that bar or pub that’s just about walking distance from your house, but now you can crash in the parking lot when you get too drunk? If so, that’s the first practical use I’ve been able to think of for this inane pile.
Sure, it has a range of 150 miles, that’s not so bad. But you can only go 15 mph. And the driver’s seat is completely exposed to the elements out there. A beach chair on an outdoor deck has more protection than that bright green seat. So, that means if you were actually going to use this to go any distance – to go “adventuring,” as the company implies you can, you’ll be in that exposed seat for potentially up to ten hours, in the cold and rain or baking sun or whatever is going on outside.
Who the hell wants that? What’s the point of this thing? Again, who is this for?
Grounded’s website describes a target buyer for us:
“The bicycle-class light electric vehicle combines the cargo capacity of a van with the carbon footprint of an e-bike, enabling sustainability-focused adventurers to live and work comfortably in the outdoors with a minuscule footprint.”
Okay, so it’s for “sustainability-focused adventurers to live and work comfortably in the outdoors.” You know what? I’m calling big heaping forkfulls of bullshit on this one. Are these adventurers already in the outdoors? Just sitting there on a pile of leaves? Because that’s the only way this stupid heap is getting to the outdoors: if it gets delivered there. And it’s not getting them out of the outdoors, unless their idea of adventuring and outdoor living means doing it all within a short hop from a town, a hop that doesn’t require the use of highways or interstates.
This is, at best, like backyard camping. For $30-fucking-thousand dollars.
Look at this picture Grounded sent out:
Where is this? Is it on a parking deck? Because that’s the only place that looks anything like that where you can comfortably drive an overpriced toy that only goes 15 mph. It sure as hell isn’t on a real overpass on some highway, because taking this on the highway just proves you want to commit suicide in the most expensive and inconvenient way.
What about this promo picture up there? It looks like a screenshot from Myst or some shit. How did that trike-camper get there? Maybe it’s always there, condemned to circle that perfectly smooth ring of a road forever.
Is this part of that same smooth ring-road? Maybe. Probably. Because its only in fictional environments like these that this idiotic contraption makes any sense.
Ugh, this thing, this stupid fucking thing. It feels so cynical, so much the product of hubris from some tech-industry dipshits who are convinced any idea they have is a great one. It’s so frustrating because they almost have something good here, if they weren’t so inspired after seeing (as our own Thomas Hundal guessed) a Big Wheel parked next to a porta-potty.
There are so many baffling bad decisions here. Like, why not enclose the driver? How much harder would that have been? Look:
And the camper itself –it looks nicely made and elegantly designed and remarkably light – wouldn’t it have been vastly more useful if it was a pull-behind camper for small cars with minimal tow ratings?
Why couldn’t this have been something like that? A camper you could tow behind a Metro or Miata or Mirage or Mini or some other tiny car that may or may not start with “M?” That would actually be useful. You could actually take the damn thing places, places that you may need to use highways to get to, places that you may want to go to at speeds faster than that of an average dog.
And, as you go there, you won’t get rained on, and you can bring a friend!
Why is Grounded building this thing? Who is telling them this is a good idea? Maybe there are people with highly specific use cases for whom this makes some kind of sense? People who really want a Tiny Home but also need to, what, move it a couple times a week to avoid parking tickets? People who vomit if they go more than 16 mph?
I feel like the market for people who are into this sort of responsible, slow adventuring are already pretty well served by all the bike campers out there; things like these:
That’s 25 minutes of ultra-light, bike-camping options. They can actually go on park bike paths and trails, which usually don’t allow any motor-driven vehicles, even e-bikes. The Grounded T1 feels just too large and heavy for the sorts of places these bike campers go, while simultaneously being too minimal and slow for places fully motorized campers go.
It’s the worst of all the worlds!
It’s useless. It’s so stupid, it makes me angrified, because a company has gone through all of the effort to make this thing real. Of all the things that haven’t made it to production, this thing gets to? Why? Why?
Let’s even pretend it’s not $30,000 dollars. Let’s pretend I just gave you one of these. What are you going to do with it? Could you even take it anywhere that makes sense? Can you find some meandering path to a place worth camping out in? Will it take you days to get there? Are you just going to sleep on the shoulder of the road while you slowly crawl there? Are you going to just ask some random house if you can recharge from one of their outdoor outlets?
Or is this thing going to sit in the corner of your driveway until the heat death of the universe, though maybe occasionally you’ll crawl in it to have a snack or a wank to something that requires a special level of privacy.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I’m happy to listen to defenses of this thing, and I’d love to be convinced that I’m wrong. Maybe there is a great use case for this dumb, heavy tricycle-with-a-shed. If so, I’d love to hear it.
But, so far, I’m just annoyed this idiotic thing is on its way to existing.
As a hobo with $30K to spare, I’m into it
My first though as well was perhaps for a homeless individual. But even then.. If they had 30K to blow, they probably wouldn’t be homeless in the first place.. And even if they were, they’d probably be better served spending half that on a used Outback and saving the rest.
Whatever man. You know what I always wish for when I’m out e-tricycling? A table. I would e-tricycle way more often if I could take a table with me. Have you ever tried to carry a table on your e-tricycle? It doesn’t work! With this thing, I don’t have to play solitaire on a wet pile of leaves when I get where I’m going, I can just use the table!
I imagine you’d be out $30k if you locked this up anywhere in Philadelphia. They steal bikes like its a job here. They’d probably do it while you chill in the back, that’s how brazen they are. So many stealers and none of them on the Rooney family payroll.
This thing would at least be usable for long rails-to-trails excursions like the Pittsburgh to Washington DC trip (Great Allegheny Passage) or even on-road treks like the Seaway Trail. A vast majority of the people that do these treks pack all of their camping gear for the journey on the bike itself. I rarely see trailers. This would represent a weird extreme alternative to doing the trek on an e-bike towing camper trailer. And of course the price tag insta-nixes it for most anyone who likes that idea.
I am old enough to remember before “van-life” when converted vans were commonly referred to as fuck trucks.
Some went the full 1970s hog and were fitted out with purple shaggy carpets everywhere, you know to help with the shagging.
James Brown to set the scene before something sensual.
Expect this is today’s much milder, vegan version, and the first thing anyone buying one will do is put up organic cotton curtains, before trying their luck at the smoothy bar…
“If the vans rockin’, don’t come knockin’.”
This reminds me of a tiny horse-drawn omnibus. Except with a trike. Rip out all the camping stuff, put in seating, and use city bike lanes to bring people to their destinations.
Not-so-Counterpoint: You talk about this thing existing, but it doesn’t exist. Reeks of full on vaporware to get as many “refundable” “deposits”….I mean “interest-free” “loans” from morons getting excited over this.
There are literally tens of people interested in spending $30k on this stupid piece of shit.
The only way this makes sense is as a mobile encampment for unhoused people. But it would have to be able to be towed by a regular bicycle, and you know, not $30k.
I see a cheap mobile dressing room for location shoots or a large studio/back lot environment. There are a lot of trikes around studios and back lots. A LOT. There are also a lot of really shitty facilities for lesser players to use (Oh dear God… the horrible bathrooms!). You’d still need a roof/driver protection, but you’re talking about moves measured in yards not miles so if some production assistant gets sunburned or soaked moving the thing… you know… so what? That’s in the job description. On a lot of sets they soak a PA every hour just to make a point. Keeps ’em from getting big ideas into their heads.
😉
“This ain’t no disco
It ain’t no country club either
This is LA”
Hard agree.
This thing is so useful! I could totally use it for… um… just second. It would be absolutely perfect to… no I guess not. Wait! It COULD… nope. I’ve got nothing. I missed the 15 mph part in the original story. I was having the same “who is this for? And who would spend $30,000 in it?” reaction.
I see a lot of cyclists (and weirdies on recumbent bicycles) in the west of Ireland. It could suit the types of people (German) who do that. Though you’d be taking your life into your hands on those roads.
If the camper was fitted to the back of a Piaggio Ape it’d…. nah. Still as much use as tits on a bull.
Maybe it’s just because of the creepy ice cream shop owner in my hometown that rode a recumbent, but I’ve always found recumbents and the people riding them at least off-putting, if not creepy outright
All Right! Just A Darn Tootin! Thou Shall Not besmirch Recumbents, and Riders there of! I used to ride all sorts of conventional road and off road bikes in my pre-licence years, but always wanted a recumbent for on road use due to better aerodynamics, and no numbnuts! I never completed my own build, but did buy a used Sun EZ-1 Super Cruzer about 12 years ago. As enthusiasts like to say- GET BENT!
They really are much more comfortable, and much less likely to put you on your head, but don’t advise playing in traffic. Fantastic for the boardwalk!
Okay, the numb nuts thing makes sense. They just never look altogether stable to me. And certainly a gentleman of my stature would probably topple the thing over if I ever tried it, unless I had stabilisers, which would be… undignified.
There are some wild creations that even experienced bent riders have trouble with, but the vast majority are inherently more stable than a standard bike, and can be confidently ridden within minutes. The long wheelbase(LWB), and compact long wheelbase are the easiest. It took me a long time to find a under $200, good used condition within 100 mi.
Recycled Recumbents is an excellent place to learn more.
https://g.co/kgs/12ay2my
It would have been a game-changer for that old dude in The Straight Story, though.
I love the action shot of it propelling itself down the parking garage ramp. I’m assuming the rider fell off due to the incredible wind forces created by travelling above 14mph.
I look at this and all I see is the PERFECT unit to setup coffee/snack/ice cream kiosks in parks.
Camping shouldn’t be the market of these, commercial use. You could run a small sandwich shop with very little overhead with one of those bad boys.
With the lack of combustion and a small foot print, it’d be an easy usage case to plead to any city’s licensing board.
This is exactly the use case I came up with. The only use case, but a truly viable use case all the same.
It could also work well for urban package delivery. The large box is great for advertising space. I could see these things going gangbusters in the commercial space.
The camping space? I honestly don’t see it happening outside of some people buying them for clout/fame/influencer BS.
Of course it would work for urban package delivery. That’s the use-case of the vehicle it’s based on!
That username is fantastic!
UPS has little four wheel delivery vans that they call “e-bikes” for some reason.
https://i.insider.com/62a9f5e06053710019ea54c4?width=2000&format=jpeg&auto=webp
Seems a lot better and safer than this thing.
I like it and agree with you.
This is freaking hilarious and awesome at the same time
These should be delivery bikes that people can retrofit into campers at great expense!
As a cyclist I can see at least two major things right away which tell the designer of this thing has never cycled: the tires are ridiculously small to be usable anywhere else than glass smooth surfaces and aerodynamics of this thing are horrible. Long distance bicycle camping is a thing and as such is a proof that the goals this thing is trying to reach can be achieved in a much smarter way.
I’ll add that you can’t seem to be able to look behind you
It’s for Burning Man. Has to be. Trailer it to the playa, then bike around with your DJ booth/artisanal cocktail bar trailer.
I think you mean it’s for Burning, Man.
Dag… beat me to that one. +1 for alacrity.
Mobile brothel for The Villages?
Pretty big step up into that thing. They may want to offer a ramp accessory. Or a lift, either would be fine.
drop down ramp. It would be a little steep, almost like a stress test. If you can’t make it up the ramp, then you cant’t get naked.
Boardwalk ice cream tuk tuk. That’s the use case.
Maybe the designer was having a long wait for his flight and was watching the baggage service carts zipping along the tarmac between planes. Or maybe he works for the manufacturer of these things and is trying to create new markets.
This is designed for rich people who pretend to be poor people who go to festivals. The kind of person who can afford to have a semi-truck carry this, a speedboat, and a Mercedes-Benz G500 to a privately reserved quarter of the campgrounds that has a fence to keep everyone else separate.
Can Changli tow this?
This is exactly who this is for.
The unhoused people who live in busted old RVs.
And also have $30k to spend.
No, the rich make-a-show-of-how-green-they-are people and/or extreme FIRE people.
Look, I’ll bite.
I don’t want this specific one. But I actually like the general conceit of it.
Check this out: https://tctrail.ca/
You could rough it. Or you could tour the thing like a retired biycle racer, hauling a mini-home so you can shelter indoors and read books when it’s raining hard or something, while everybody else is feeling wet and sour.
It’d be kind of a trashy way to ride that trail, and for that reason I’m willing to give it a go.
I’m queueing up a vacation over the summer. Send me that bad boy (or equivalent) and I’ll write you up as many inky words as you want while I do the path.
It feels like just yesterday Torch was coming to grips with being a father of a teenager, and now here he goes full Red Forman on this thing!
I might as well point out that they keep saying “bicycle-class” and how it fits that legal category, but this being a moving chicane for car drivers and the equivalent of a big rig governed to 66 mph passing one governed to 65 to other cyclists, it probably won’t be for long. Dumbasses.