This Has To Be The Real Reason Why Bears Love Subarus: COTY

Bears are wonderful, terrifying creatures. They’re equal parts cuddly and heavyweight killing machines. They’re also smart enough to figure out how to open unlocked cars, ultimately trapping themselves after getting in to chase after some food you’ve left around. Now, bears get stuck in all kinds of cars, but stories of bears in Subarus are quite common.

(Whoopsies, we forgot to publish this! We put it back in the oven and it seems to taste fine enough.)

Jason wrote about the on-dash rearview mirror, making a reference to Fozzie Bear and his apparent appreciation for Studebakers:

Now, the subject of bears in Subaru has been a thing for a while, with even our former colleague Alanis King asking the hard questions about this back in 2018. Now, it could just be that there are a lot of Subarus in bear country and apparently their owners are leaving them unlocked. But clearly, Alanis should have consulted Nlpnt:

As an aside, I always thought the reason why bears who break into cars always seem to break into Subarus is that they tend to be owned by people who live or recreate in bear country out of proportion to their overall sales.

Turns out it’s just that when the supply of Studebakers started to thin out, bears just went to the next make on an alphabetical list.

Bears, it’s what makes a Subaru, a Subaru.

Thomas wrote about how someone spent a total of $202 to get a pair of incredibly rough Ford Taunus 17M project cars. We need someone with a lot of time and space to fix these. A. Barth knows just the being:

this looks like a project for someone with plenty of space and time

We shall call this type of project a “Dr. Who”.

This morning, Mark gave us a nightmare showdown of a cheap 1990 Jaguar XJ-S going up against a cheap 2012 BMW 750Li. Jonathan Green makes a hilarious point:

What does it mean when a 1990 Jaguar V12 is the better and more reliable car over a BMW?

Yeah, I think even I’d take the Jaguar in this case. Have a great evening, everyone!

(Topshot: Subaru, Dwayne Reilander (CC BY-SA 4.0))