The Jeep seven-slot grille is perhaps one of the most valuable things that Stellantis owns, if we don’t count the legendary (and possibly cursed) Peugeot Bébé Diamond. And while this Jeep face (which was actually designed by Ford) is jealously guarded by Jeep themselves, there are plenty of people who seek to alter the faces of their Jeeps, usually in ridiculous ways. One Jeep face/grille modification I saw recently on ex-Twitter, though, was a bit different. Because it involved Ohio.
Yes, Ohio! This was really a very simple modification, using what I believe to be gaffer’s tape and some cleverness to transform the seven slots of the Jeep grille into the letters that form the word OHIO.
For whatever reason, it’s getting a fair amount of guff in the comments, but I have no idea why. I mean, they do build Jeeps in Toledo, Ohio, after all. And, come on, it’s pretty clever:
Why is this the “worst Jeep ever?” Is this just anti-Ohioism? I can think of plenty of worse Jeeps: a Compass with a swastika on the hood, or a Renegade with a hood made of pressed feces, or a CJ-5 filled with rancid clam salad. This can’t be the worst Jeep ever.
More importantly, the simple transformation of those seven slots into the word OHIO got me thinking: using the same simple methods (horizontal black bands), how many other words can one make from the seven slots of a Jeep grille? Let’s see what we can do!
The set of letters you can make from these slots with horizontal bars isn’t huge. I think it’s just A, O, H, I, U, M, N, W, and, if we’re willing to be a bit flexible in letterforms, B and D. That’s not a lot. But it’s enough for these words:
HUM! A nice, musical word.
Okay, so this one could be either HIND or HINO, depending on how you want to interpret that last character. I like HINO because then it’s like you rebadged your Jeep to be a Hino truck! 
In this one, that last character I think should be read as a D, for BIND. You could tell people you’re in a bind, when you’re in your car! What a jape!
If your heritage hails from Hokkaido, Japan, maybe you could proclaim it proudly by spelling out AINU?
HAW can refer to many things: the third eyelid found on many animals, half of Nelson Muntz’ laugh, or the river that runs through Saxapahaw, North Carolina.
Feeling sad? Want to drive a Wahmbulance? A big WAH on your grille will help!
BUM! This can either be referring to buttocks or a colloquialism for a vagrant, used in a tongue-in-cheek manner.
Again, here I suggest the last character be read as a D, for MUD. Good for off-roaders.
MOO. Let the cows know you speak their language!
I’m sure there must be more I’m missing, so those of you up to some good word game challenge, give it a try! It’s not Wordle, but hey, take what you can get, right?
I think the O could be differentiated from D just by making the left side corners sharp angles instead of rounded ones using the same black tape. Many more possibilities!
Some crazy thing have happened to that jeep…
“BUM! This can either be referring to buttocks or a colloquialism for a vagrant, used in a tongue-in-cheek manner.”
In the UK it’s a verb for a sex act, involving the body part it’s also a noun for.
Which made DTs post “l found out my car is made of bondo and now I’m bummed” unintentionally hilarious.
“IIIIIII” – the sound of disc brakes in action. Does’t even require any black duct tape 😀
Someone over here actually has IIIIIII as vanity plate
Angry face Wranglers are the worst Jeeps ever. At least this is original and clever.
I thought the the worst Jeep ever comment was just a Jab it being a Patriot. And according to my 6 and 9 year old boys Ohio means it sucks.
Worst jeep and Ohio pretty much mean the same thing so.
Looks like y’all are going to top the wheelbarrow of shrimp at the next LA Auto Show.
Wasn’t that a frunk full of shrimp?
Ah – I believe it was. Good memory, or at least one that’s better than mine.
I hate shrimp, so that one stood out as especially disgusting.
Pretty sure they’ve done both, but the wheelbarrow was a Jalopnik thing several years ago.
It was a wheelbarrow and WE did it! Jalopnik never brought any shrimp to any auto show!
My bad! I thought I remembered Fancy Kristen being involved with it. Did y’all do the frunk as well?
Found it. Ford did the frunk:
https://www.caranddriver.com/news/a30754564/ford-mustang-mach-e-frunk-food-service/
And it was early Autopian that did the wheelbarrow:
https://www.theautopian.com/the-autopians-glorious-wheelbarrow-full-of-shrimp-is-a-hit-at-the-la-auto-show/
FK would have catered langoustine fresh from France.
True. Cocktail shrimp is beneath her.
I’m sure the CJ-5 chock full o’ clams will top it on both presentation and rancidity this year.
People are so fucked today when they feel the need to put down someone because they make letters out of their Jeep grill. Nothing less important to upset you?Enjoy it, laugh at it, know you can’t spell Pennsylvania or Indiana out of that grill. Leave the letter grill guy alone. He didn’t mess with your grill.
Yeah but that person spelled “Ohio” (pronounced as if discovering fresh dog droppings ground deeply into the tread of your shoes).
Why yes I am a Michigan resident, why do you ask?
HUH?
A clever fella possessing an 8-bit computing device (e.g. one suitable for drawing robots) could probably identify all of the combinations and permutations…
I’d make the “D” as a backwards “C.” A perfect solution? No. Do I care? Also no. Can it be mistaken for an “O”? Also also no.
John DeLorean approves this message.
He’ll be happier if you made your grille say DMC
Then you would have to walk this way.
I’d run that way.
It’s tricky.
It’s like that.
This is peak Torchtopian.
Angry Bird Jeeps gonna be MAD
If you had two, or had a friend with one, you could park them next to each other and have HEE HAW.
Like the TV show. From the 70’s?
Gawd I’m old…
Call BR-549.
Maybe they could update it for modern audiences.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6T2nRAazrY
AMC of course!
Wait, what? How is Renault a part of Stellantis?
crap! I fixed it.
I can’t believe Jason has experimented with bumper ham, but missed the opportunity here for grille HAM!
Some Jeeps are built in Ohio, and I thought this was fitting until I looked it up and learned the Patriot was assembled in Belvidere, IL.
\.
All the rental jeeps in Hawaii should have an “808” or “HI” grill.
So many more.
OHM for the resistance- enthusiasts.
WAH for all the Jimi Hendrix fans
Or Waluigi fans.
OOM so it reads right in the mirror and otherwise you look like a good buddhist
Or DOM if you are more into kink
Or family?
In fairness, the guff it’s getting could be about the particular model…I don’t mind the styling myself, but there’s little love for the Patriot it seems.
I actually wanted one back in 2010, they looked cool, like a 90s Cherokee, I ended up buying a 2010 awd manual SX4.
i’m surprised nobody did a “cheapest car vs cheapest suv” test back in the day the base versa and base patriot was within $1200 of eachother. you could even do the top trim of each for under 20 grand.
It’s getting guff because choosing “OHIO” is like saying elevator music is your favorite genre.
It’s even gen alpha slang for boring.
I feel I’m almost there…at the grocery store recently, the sound system was going & I was like “nice, Pearl Jam.” And then realized where I was. Damn.
Im surprised in the lack of ASS in this
How would you make the S’s work?
Thinking the same. If you could, do 55A so it would be correct in the rearview mirror.
AS5
You might need some body coloured tape and black tape