Home Ā» This NSU Brochure Is Full Of Good Old Brochure Crap: Cold Start

This NSU Brochure Is Full Of Good Old Brochure Crap: Cold Start

Cs Nsu1000 1
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I tend to grab a lot of mid-century car brochures for these Coldest of Starts, and there’sĀ reasonsĀ for that: they’re fun. Plus, there’s certain conceits you see over and over in these things, and every now and then you find one that seems to have it all, or at least close to it. This 1965 NSU 1000L brochure is one of those, so let’s just take a moment here and reallyĀ savorĀ some of these details.

Look at the top image there: it’s got that old standby, some kind of nautical scene, with the car improbably and dangerously parked right on the edge of the dock there, while headband hands over a suspicious, possibly damp sack of somethingĀ to Cap’n Creepy, who has that another hallmark of these brochures, Guy With Unsettling Expression on His Face:

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Cs Nsu1000 Face

Yeesh.

There’s so much more! Look at this, I love this:

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Cs Nsu1000 Instruments

The luggage-cramming photos! Musical instruments, thanks to their weird shapes and visual excitement, are some of the best things to show crammed in luggage areas. Here, we have a whole band, complete with saxophone (you know, like the Beatles before they got big) on the folded-down back seat, exposing the NSU 1000’s nice luggage well. It’s a good amount of room! But what about the trunk?

Cs Nsu1000 Ghostluggage

Oh yes, this brochure has my another favorite of mine, the Well-Packed Trunk,Ā this time shown is clever and ghostly double-exposure! So satisfying! More, though, we want more! What about strangely-packed snacks packed into cubbyholes? Oh, bish, we got that!

Cs Nsu1000 Snacks

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Mmm, yes, a banana trapped in a plastic bag with an orange, a sleeve of Ritz-like crackers, some bottle of likely weird European pop like the strangely-herbal Almdudler and a Hostess something. All crammed in the rear seat armrest!

What other funny conceits do we have here? Oh! The strangely dainty driving-action picture!

Cs Nsu1000 Shift

Look at that shift! So elegant and refined, and that spindly-svelte shifter, in that chic gloved hand! Yes, let’s glide into third gear, why not?

Cs Nsu1000 Lady

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Speaking of elegant, youĀ haveĀ to have the Pretty Overdressed Lady, and NSU delivers, shoving her in the back seat, bedecked in either furs or with her pet Tribble, really enjoying everything that opening vent window has to offer.

Cs Nsu1000 Fish

What’s that? You think something is still missing? A kinda weird kid? You’re in luck! Little Lederhosen is here, with his boat, sort of, um, hiding behind the car? Dad’s got another one of those weird looks, too, Lots of great color, though, and, damn, that NSU 1000 is a cool little car, with those oblong headlights and clean, Corvair-cribbed lines!

Cs Nsu1000 Cram

Oh, I almost forgot another brochure favorite, the cramming a little car full to its technical maximum capacity, here meaning five people, well, four adults and a kid. This I bet actually happened all the time.

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Okay, finally, one wonderful thing: a really nice cutaway diagram:

Cs Nsu1000 Cutaway

Man, that’s lovely.

 

 

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John King
John King
9 months ago

The guy in the first photo reminds me of Calvin Trillin’s Greek Fisherman’s Hat Rule (paraphrasing): “No one should wear a Greek fisherman’s hat unless he meets two requirements: (1) He is Greek, and (2) He is a fisherman.” Growing up in my small city south of Chicago, there was a cranky German guy who established an NSU dealership and repaired other German cars. I always liked the cars saw a few of them around town, so he apparently was doing OK.

Jason, have you ever done an article about oversized steering wheels on tiny cars? I think some of these NSUs might be good candidates (see also, original Fiat Multipla). Yes, I understand that big steering wheels provided additional leverage for cars w/o power steering, but still….

Vetatur Fumare
Vetatur Fumare
9 months ago

I am also intrigued by the license plates – is this all one brochure? I see Monaco and Gothenburg (Sweden) in the two photos where they’re visible. Are they trying to show how all-European the Prinz is? And did that same man go to several countries for this shot or did they stay in Neckarsulm and swap plates around? Fraud!

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
9 months ago

Kramer: “T.C.B.
You know, takin’ care o’ business”

Jerry: “What you got in there?”

Kramer: “Crackers”

Diana Slyter
Diana Slyter
9 months ago

I have fond memories thanks to actually having an NSU dealership in my ‘hood, better yet run by real gear heads who didn’t mind us broke teenagers hanging around and asking stupid questions. Was a very advanced car for the time with excellent build quality and performance, too bad nobody heard of them. For better or worse after the market failure of the RO80 VW bought NSU,

Robert Turner
Robert Turner
9 months ago

I think everyone has missed a very important detail: The car has a Monaco registration. Guy With Unsettling Expression is clearly Prince Rainier and Pretty Overdressed Lady is Grace Kelly

Jesus Chrysler drives a Dodge
Jesus Chrysler drives a Dodge
9 months ago

Those gloved fingers caressing a dainty shifter: 4-speed or foreplay?

Flyingstitch
Flyingstitch
9 months ago

Those headlights create a very mid-century conception of a robot’s face.

Strangek
Strangek
9 months ago

I think I’d load my instruments a bit differently, if you leave it like that it will sound like there was an explosion at the horn factory the moment you put it in gear. I appreciate the ample space in back though!

Geoff Buchholz
Geoff Buchholz
9 months ago

I’m a sucker for the “woman-applying-makeup-on-the-move” trope, and there she is, in the back seat, touching up her powder with probably 1/8″ of available elbow movement.

Also, I’m glad Larry B called out that Monaco license plate — easily the cheapest vehicle registered in the Principality.

Vetatur Fumare
Vetatur Fumare
9 months ago
Reply to  Geoff Buchholz

The first car I ever saw with Monaco plates was a Fiat 126 BIS…

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
9 months ago

The top photo is obviously the last taken in the brochure series. The sack contains Little Lederhosen and thatā€™s Dadā€™s mistress (next to the blue Poorvair he gifted her) handing over the boy to Louis Nye who will smuggle the kid into Hollywood where heā€™ll be forced to work for free as Jay Northā€™s stunt double on ā€œDennis the Menace.ā€ Heā€™ll once again don lederhosen and achieve notoriety as the spokesbrat for the Wienerschnitzel fast food chain before a PCP addiction destroys his career and he briefly joins the Manson family. Later, using his Hollywood connections, he becomes a drug dealer to former and current child stars including teenaged Anissa Jones, who was Buffy on ā€œFamily Affair.ā€ The two were found dead of a drug cocktail following an orgy of sex and drugs and rock and roll. Sadly, accounts of his death were omitted from news reports because no one knew who he was as heā€™d never learned English. He was buried in a pauper’s grave.

Geoff Buchholz
Geoff Buchholz
9 months ago
Reply to  Canopysaurus

Few cries for help have ever been so well constructed.

Chronometric
Chronometric
9 months ago
Reply to  Canopysaurus

A little known fact. Buffy on Family Affair never slayed a single vampire. Probably due to her drug problems.

Last edited 9 months ago by Chronometric
Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
9 months ago
Reply to  Chronometric

Probably because she was so short and the stakes werenā€™t high enough.

Chronometric
Chronometric
9 months ago
Reply to  Canopysaurus

bloody good

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
9 months ago
Reply to  Canopysaurus

This is also what I come here to read…fuckin hilarious

Chronometric
Chronometric
9 months ago

For you young-uns, download and read the NSU Prinz manual. It is concise, well illustrated, and has a conversational narration that is fantastic. This is how manuals were done, especially in Europe.
https://s3cf792cad773e861.jimcontent.com/download/version/1509880614/module/14659423522/name/NSU%20Prinz%20PII%20Owners%20Manual.pdf

Rapgomi
Rapgomi
9 months ago
Reply to  Chronometric

The front cover image: ‘Handling the Prinz’ with the girl in white gloves is worthy of this article!

CUlater
CUlater
9 months ago
Reply to  Chronometric

Thanks for sharing, fun read, “melancholy Chinaman” temperature knob and all.

Chronometric
Chronometric
9 months ago

I feel like I already own an NSU Prinz. It is the exact average of my ’71 Fiat 500, ’64 Corvair Coupe, and ’76 BMW 2002.

Alan Christensen
Alan Christensen
9 months ago

The awkward pose in the Pretty Overdressed Lady photo is a lot like the people-in-car imaginations of Midjourney AI. Attractive folks driving with the steering wheel on the door, back to dash, head and shoulders protruding through the windshield…

Larry B
Larry B
9 months ago

Is that first picture the Prinz of Monaco?

Mr. Asa
Mr. Asa
9 months ago

What I like about this is almost not related to the brochure pics, other than how well they do at highlighting it.

Why did NSU have to print the ENTIRE name of the car on the front face? Were they ahead of the curve with such acts as “The Artist Formerly Known As Prince” or “A Pimp Named Slickback”? Where you have to say the entire thing for it to be their name? Or were they afraid a passerby would not get what they were looking at?

Ecsta C3PO
Ecsta C3PO
9 months ago
Reply to  Mr. Asa

I kind of like it, brands already replace the front logo with the spelled out company name sometimes, but usually not the model name

Alan Christensen
Alan Christensen
9 months ago
Reply to  Ecsta C3PO

I think having it all in one place is better than having the brand here, the model there, an engine displacement next to it, a technological feature opposite of that, the brand and model again, some gratuitous chrome bits…

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
9 months ago

Torch, you forgot one other common trope. In the Little Lederhosen pic, the woman handing someone a wicker basket. Seriously, the wicker basket industry must have been booming in the 60s-70s. If I ever go back in time, that’s where I’m investing my money.

Ecsta C3PO
Ecsta C3PO
9 months ago

Don’t forget the fishing rods, apparently no picnic in the mid-century was complete without the men popping off a few casts.

Interrobangā€½
Interrobangā€½
9 months ago

I know we usually joke a lot here on the Morning Dump, but I just want to say that the front graphic on this NSU is just lovely. The alignment of elements is great, and the use of the non-grill space between the headlights with the offset shield logo is particularly nice.

Trust Doesn't Rust
Trust Doesn't Rust
9 months ago

Big fan of the offset logo. I think it needs to make a come-back.

OCS-BN
OCS-BN
9 months ago

Ugh, I would have to dispose that plastic bag unopened. That banana stinks up the nice and tasty orange. I can’t stand banana smell. Same with pineapple. I can not comprehend how people would order pineapple on their pizza (Pizza Hawaii). And don’t get me started on multivitamin juice! What a torture that was as a kid.

Now what was the topic here?

getstoney VII
getstoney VII
9 months ago

Can’t blame the kid for being anxious after seeing his mom dump 50ml of Cyanide into dad’s thermos full of gin. He knows this day is about to get dark.

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
9 months ago

I love that old style cutaway artwork. I remember an article years ago in Car and Driver about an artist who specialized in it. David Kimble, IIRC. Really interesting.

Balloondoggle
Balloondoggle
9 months ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

I love it too. I have a huge book of cutaways of WWII aircraft and I can lose an entire afternoon just flipping through it.

Aaron
Aaron
9 months ago
Reply to  Balloondoggle

I always made a beeline to those cutaway books when I was a kid in the library. I have a distinct memory of one with a Panzer tank. The horizontal cutline bisected one of the crewmemebers, so the artist chose to cut the poor tanker in half and show a cutaway of his intestine.

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
9 months ago
Reply to  Aaron

The Devil is in the details…

Gilbert Wham
Gilbert Wham
9 months ago
Reply to  Aaron

Now that’s commitment to your job.

Collegiate Autodidact
Collegiate Autodidact
9 months ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

Haynes Publishing, before they were bought out by an investment management firm in 2020 and subsequently severely attenuated, used to publish a lovely book of cover artwork by Terry Davey who drew so many of these iconic old Haynes manual cutaway pictures (fun fact: they had to disconnect the smoke alarm above his drawing desk at the Haynes offices due to his heavy pipe-smoking.) Haynes also would sell posters, t-shirts, mugs, fridge magnets, etc, with his artwork. Alas, no longer, thanks to the aforementioned investment management firm. Bah humbug.

Adrian Clarke
Adrian Clarke
9 months ago

That explains the amount of Haynes branded tat available these days.

MATTinMKE
MATTinMKE
9 months ago

I have a coloring book of his cutaways, from back when I was trying to turn my kid into a car guy. I’m hoping he’s a late bloomer…

Balloondoggle
Balloondoggle
9 months ago

I’d love to see an Autopian article on that.

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