Home » This Old Ford Brochure Kind Of Feels Like A Disney Movie That Never Was

This Old Ford Brochure Kind Of Feels Like A Disney Movie That Never Was

Cs 60falcon Top
ADVERTISEMENT

It’s no secret that my love for mid-century (and by that I mean the years between 1901-1999, because I like to define “middle” like the ratio of corned beef to bread on a good deli sandwich) car brochure illustrations is deep and vast, like an ocean or my own ignorance about so very many subjects. Today I want to show you a 1960 Ford brochure because it has illustrations that sort of suggest a late-’50s/early ’60s Disney movie that never actually existed.

Also, it’s kind of an odd brochure because it’s a Belgian-printed one and I think was intended for the European market, as it references “world-wide” Ford companies and keeps talking about driving in the “world,” not just America or anything that specific.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Anyway, it’s that top image up there, for the Falcon, that really made me think Disney movie. The people are rendered just a bit differently than what you usually see in these kinds of brochures, with a more bold black outline and a bit more, um, action in the people than I feel like what we usually see in these brochures.

Specifically, this kid:

Cs 60falcon KidIs that kid giving himself a puppet show while leaning out the window of a moving car? He sure as hell is! Is that a Great Dane sitting behind him, watching over his shoulder? You know it is. If we apply some animated-movie logic here, I think we can safely assume that those puppets are, in fact, entirely sentient and speaking and thinking independently.

ADVERTISEMENT

I’m not sure of what the one in the hat is, making the kid laugh there – we’ll call her Dame Persimmon – and the crow laying prone there with the blue hat, that’s Mr.Cheetlenuts. Only the kid and the dog can hear them, the rest of the kid’s family thinks he’s just a kook, except grandma back there, who could hear magic puppets talk when she was little but lost the ability when she got struck by lightning at her quinceanera.

Little brother or sister in the goggles up front is nicknamed Wheelie or something like that and is very into mechanical things and cars, as evidenced here:

Cs 60falcon Cutaway

See, there’s Wheelie with a little car, enjoying being close to that short-stroke inline-six under the hood, feeling the warmth and vibrations. No idea what the hell dad is looking for in his wallet there – it’s Disney, so it can’t be a condom or an amphetamine, so let’s say he’s looking for his Mason card.

Mom seems to generally have it together, and Grandma maybe is telling the kid with the magic puppets important stories that hint at the origin of the magic.

ADVERTISEMENT

Also, the Great Dane seems to have turned into a little girl. Is that something common to that breed?

Cs 60falcon Starliner

Let’s see if the other cars and illustrations here suggest anything else about this movie that never was; this Starliner is interesting. Starliner wasn’t just a Raymond Loewy-designed Studebaker, it was also the name given to the fastback coupé version of the Galaxie from 1960 to 1961.

It’s a really pretty car, I think, especially because of the pillarless-ness of it all. So how do these two fit into the plot? We have Singing Driver Lady and Cap’n Tweed Cap there. Maybe they’re paranormal researchers/archaeologists who found some archaeological evidence that those two puppets are actually vessels for some supernatural beings, ones that were referenced in some ancient cuneiform tablets or some rare copies of the Egyptian Book of the Dead. Let’s say Cap is the cuneiform expert, and the woman is the Egyptologist. And they’re hot on the trail of the kid and the puppets!

Cs 60falcon Galaxiecrownvic

ADVERTISEMENT

Okay, this last image, this is the key, because this has our antagonists. The style here is more typical of brochures of the era, with no outlines and a more painterly style, but it’ll work for this.

Also, note that this Galaxie is a Crown Victoria, when that name was just a sub-model and not a model unto itself. Oh crap, wait, that says Town Victoria! The hell is up with that? Was that named for Tueen Victoria? This is some bullshit.

So, see how they’re driving by an observatory? And that guy in the back seat in the black suit looks pensive and interested? That’s because he’s a fed, as is the driver, and the two women are astronomers who have detected the home planet of the supernatural beings possessing the puppets, and it’s a race to get to them before the archaeologists do!

This thing practically writes itself! The kid and dog are at the center, there’s two groups trying to get to them, the kid wants to protect the puppets, the feds want them for nefarious reasons, the archaeologists just want to know what’s going on, and maybe the Great Dane that turns into a little girl is key to all this, somehow.

Want to do something fun this morning? Let’s see if we can come up with a name for this movie! Something like The Puppets from Outer Space, but you know, much better. The Starhand Adventure? 1 Great Dane, 2 Alien Puppets, and 3 Lives? I don’t know. Help me out.

ADVERTISEMENT

 

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on whatsapp
WhatsApp
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on reddit
Reddit
Subscribe
Notify of
49 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
ClutchAbuse
ClutchAbuse
1 day ago

Title: The Puppets from Planet Whimsy (1960)
Brief:
In this whimsical, heartwarming Disney adventure, 10-year-old Billy Thompson stumbles upon an old trunk in his grandmother’s attic, uncovering two mysterious, talking puppets—Jibber and Poke—who come to life when no adults are watching. With only Billy and his loyal dog, Barkley, able to hear them speak, the trio embarks on a series of playful misadventures.
Unbeknownst to Billy, Jibber and Poke hail from the faraway planet Whimsyon, sent to Earth to study kindness and creativity. But their presence hasn’t gone unnoticed—secret agents from a top government agency have tracked the strange energy signature to Billy’s small town, determined to uncover the truth.
Billy’s grandmother, once a spirited adventurer herself, reveals she used to hear the puppets too—until a lightning strike in her childhood stole that gift. With time running out and the feds closing in, Billy must protect his new friends, unlock the true power of imagination, and perhaps even help Grandma rediscover her long-lost magic.
Packed with laughs, light suspense, and heart, The Puppets from Planet Whimsy is a timeless tale of friendship, family, and the extraordinary world seen through a child’s eyes.

-ChatGPT

Scott
Scott
16 hours ago
Reply to  ClutchAbuse

Well, that’s all quite marvelous ClutchAbuse! 😀 Also, your outline and Jason’s both sort of remind me flavorwise of an old Dr. Who four-part serial called “The Stones of Blood” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stones_of_Blood for some nonspecific but also remarkably tangible reason. 🙂

ClutchAbuse
ClutchAbuse
5 hours ago
Reply to  Scott

Thanks! But I just wrote the prompt. It’s pretty funny how AI was able to spin it into something that sounds real though.

Scott
Scott
1 hour ago
Reply to  ClutchAbuse

You technowizards and your AI shenanigans! 😉

Well, maybe that particular episode of Dr. Who was included in the petabytes of existing content that AI was trained on.

Last edited 1 hour ago by Scott
Max Headbolts
Max Headbolts
1 day ago

The Persimmon Cheetlenuts Gang was an early draft of what later became The Apple Dumpling Gang….

Last edited 1 day ago by Max Headbolts
Clubwagon Chateau
Clubwagon Chateau
1 day ago

What the devil is that rear-most spherical item in the trunk marked with the Mexican flag, a cask of compressed tequila fumes?

Alan Christensen
Alan Christensen
1 day ago

The 1960 Galaxie had a totally different design language than the years before and after. It makes me wonder about decisions at Ford.

Also, it was probably exceptionally bold at the time to show a woman driving when there was a perfectly good man to do the job.

Last edited 1 day ago by Alan Christensen
Jonee Eisen
Jonee Eisen
1 day ago

In that era, it was quite common for each model year to be completely distinct. I love the ’60 Fords. One of the best designs of the period. The front end is very European and the drooped-over fins are fantastic.

Alan Christensen
Alan Christensen
1 day ago
Reply to  Jonee Eisen

The late 50s Fords were variation on the same overall design language, and the 61-64 Fords were also variation on the same language. But the 60 was totally different. Then 65 was the start of the stacked headlight era with an angular design lanhguage.

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
1 day ago

This is what Scooby Doo would have been if the writers were on LSD and not just stoned.

Tbird
Tbird
1 day ago

Hmm, red sweater over collared shirt, puppets…. young Fred Rogers.

Dale Mitchell
Dale Mitchell
1 day ago
Reply to  Tbird

origin story film; I like it

Collegiate Autodidact
Collegiate Autodidact
1 day ago

Would be pretty fitting for them to use a Falcon given how frequently FoMoCo products were used in films, especially Disney ones, in the 60s and 70s; after all, Ford was pretty aggressive in getting studios to use their cars in film and TV productions (even as a child I was getting tired of seeing all Fords all the time on TV & in the movies so it was a welcome relief to see The Brady Bunch using Mopar products and to see Gilligan driving a home-made (!!) bamboo pedal-powered car on Gilligan’s Island.)
When Robin Williams started working on the ’97 film Flubber (a remake of the ’61 Disney film The Absent-Minded Professor which featured a Ford Model T) he reportedly requested that the car they used in the film be a ’63 Ford Thunderbird, as it was the same car his recently deceased father (a senior executive in the Lincoln-Mercury division at Ford) had when Robin was growing up.

Last edited 1 day ago by Collegiate Autodidact
Comme çi, come alt
Comme çi, come alt
1 day ago

Obviously this is part of the origin. story for 1969’s seminal horror comedy-drama Scooby-Doo, Where Are You. Other brochures depict Daphne’s mother driving her around in that T-Bird to distract them both from her father’s affairs and the alcohol -fueled collapse of their family, Fred’s widowed dad and his “manservant” taking the boy out in their 1960 Continental Mark V to the boy’s department at Bullock’s Wilshire for his first ascot, and Velma’s two professor parents piloting the only non-domestics in the bunch, a pair of matching Volvo Amazons.

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
1 day ago

Little Rusty there is playing with Charlie Horse and Wing Ding puppets from the Shari Lewis stable of sock-based pals, most famously Lamb Chop. Shari was huge in early children’s TV programming, although I wouldn’t expect a child of the 70s to be familiar with her and her puppets. She was occasionally on Ed Sullivan and other variety shows, but probably not often past the early 70s.

Ea Gregory
Ea Gregory
1 day ago
Reply to  Canopysaurus

Wing Ding in the Falcon of Wonderland!

Jesus Chrysler drives a Dodge
Jesus Chrysler drives a Dodge
1 day ago

That’s not grandma. That’s the matronly governess, Mrs. Crannyshanks. She and the kids are zany MI-5 spies by night. Wheelie is in charge of gadgets.

Last edited 1 day ago by Jesus Chrysler drives a Dodge
Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
1 day ago

Escape to Ford Mountain.

And just like the actual Disney movie the patrons you seek leaving the theatre won’t be pressing their fingers to their temples trying to mimic the characters, they’ll just be trying to calm the raging migraine triggered by the awful movie.

Aaronaut
Aaronaut
1 day ago

Looks like it says “Galaxie Town Victoria” actually. Who knew?

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
1 day ago

“enjoying being close to that short-stroke inline-six under the hood, feeling the warmth and vibration”

Vibration? From a short stroke inline six?

AssMatt
AssMatt
1 day ago

Man, this some good Torchin’ here! “Mr. Cheetlenuts” is GOLD.

Collegiate Autodidact
Collegiate Autodidact
1 day ago

“Mom seems to generally have it together”
Given the disconcertingly high percentage of Disney films with dead or absent moms, this would be an outlier for Disney…

DubblewhopperInDubblejeopardy
DubblewhopperInDubblejeopardy
1 day ago

Dog farts, grannie farts, beer farts from the old man, no wonder the kid his hanging out the window.

Trust Doesn't Rust
Trust Doesn't Rust
1 day ago

Leaded gas and mild CO poisoning hit hard.

Ash78
Ash78
1 day ago

This is clearly from Song of the South Tirol and was basically expunged from Disney canon for its outdated depictions of German-speaking Italians.

I don’t blame them, but maybe next time just add a disclaimer that we can call the town Bozen OR Bolzano and nobody has to die.

Tondeleo Jones
Tondeleo Jones
1 day ago

Detailing of the cars is so sharp it would draw blood, while the people are cartoon characters.

Adam Rice
Adam Rice
1 day ago

Is the Galaxie a “Crown Victoria” or a “Town Victoria”? Because the caption suggests the latter.

Ecsta C3PO
Ecsta C3PO
1 day ago
Reply to  Adam Rice

The Ol’ Town Vic

Twobox Designgineer
Twobox Designgineer
1 day ago

As this is a Disney movie, and Disney is reknowned for thisting the stories that they adapt… this is The Maltese Falcon. (Something something great dane something falcon something)

Library of Context
Library of Context
1 day ago

I’m pretty sure that Cap’n Tweed in the Starliner is Dick Van Dyke. Makes sense for a Disney movie.

Michael Beranek
Michael Beranek
1 day ago

Dean Jones was in a lot of them too.

Dodsworth
Dodsworth
14 hours ago

We all prisoners, Chickie-Baby!

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
1 day ago

So green sweater Dad must be Dean Jones. I’m gonna guess this was a crossover sequel of “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” and “That Darn Cat!”

Hautewheels
Hautewheels
1 day ago

Clearly this is the sequel to The Moonspinners. It’s The Moonspinners 2 – Puppets from the Outer Rim.
The puppets are agents of KAOS (Kids And Outer-rim Sentients – the interplanetary organization that manages Alien/Earth interactions by controlling children) who transform the girl into the dog at random times, and hilarity ensues!

Michael Beranek
Michael Beranek
1 day ago

I can believe you didn’t notice how the owner synchronized the wheels so that the “Ford” lettering is aligned the same on both front and rear wheels.
Extra cred for stopping the car so that both “Ford”s are perfectly level!

TheDrunkenWrench
TheDrunkenWrench
1 day ago

When you work in marketing, a Falcon-eyed exec can’t afford to miss details like that.
If you pull it off correctly, you’ll be the best Ad Man in the whole Galaxie!

Lew Schiller
Lew Schiller
1 day ago

Do you think we can get Galaxie Quest to work? The other one is Galaxy..so

Last edited 1 day ago by Lew Schiller
49
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x