It’s late, and I have to get on a plane in a few hours, but that doesn’t mean you don’t get a top-quality Cold Start like you’ve been accustomed to, because you deserve the best, dammit. Or at least the pretty good. This 1959 Mini brochure has a lot of really appealing traits of a brochure of the era, like those lovely commercial art paintings, but mostly I’m drawn to how the delightfully humble but important traits of the very clever Mini are the focus of so much of this brochure.
The original Alec Issigonis-designed Mini is really a collection of humble and important traits, so this all makes sense. But they still seem sort of odd to eyeballs and earballs used to more modern car marketing.
Here, look at the most important feature the brochure touts:
The transverse engine! Or, as they like to put it here, an East-West engine. This is, of course, a huge part of what made the Mini so wildly successful, and is essentially the template of the vast majority of modern cars on the road today. I just like how this very technical concept (though an easy to understand one) gets so much attention and is largely responsible for the “World’s Most Exciting Car” claim.
I like how door pockets and a place under the rear seat to slide and shove your crap into gets its own spread. Plus, that headline, “Finished inside like a magician’s top hat,” makes me think of lots of rabbit and dove shit.
Also, those door pockets are are notable because, according to many sources, these were designed to fit a bottle of Gordon’s Gin, Alec Issigonis’ drink of choice.
The phrasing used in the brochure is somewhat peculiar to my ears – or, I guess eyes – even accounting for the decades past and all those miles of ocean. The “Effortless motion – like a ballerina!” is not something you’d hear a modern carmaker say about one of their cars, and I suspect that lots of ballerinas would disagree with the “effortless” part.
Also, I’ve never heard a top speed described like it is here: “…leaves you with 10 m.p.h. in hand even when cruising at 60!”
The idea of speed as something one can hold in reserve sort of makes sense and sort of doesn’t? Anyway, I can’t recall another brochure that puts it quite like this.
I also really appreciate that a whole section was given to reminding people that the taillights use one plastic lens for the two bulbs in there instead of, what, dozens? I mean, sure, it’s great! That’s a fine taillight! Also, I like the use of “winkers” for turn signals. It’s very friendly.
When I was in high school, circa 1962 (right after the big flood), my best friend’s Dad commuted to the Washington Navy Yard in an original generation Mini. Parking was problematic there and a few tight spaces in alleys were reserved for small cars. These spaces were so small that even a VW Beetle was too long for them, but Minis fit easily.
I drove a bone stock 850 from the docks in Galveston to Denver staying mainly off the Interstates. It was a wonderful trip.
A buddy of mine has an old original Mini as his daily driver. Not a Cooper, just a Mini, but it is RHD. Anyways I’ve had the opportunity to borrow it a couple of times and I can say that driving that thing across Houston is more terrifying than riding a motorcycle in freeway traffic. Yeah, it will do 60 with 10mph or so in reserve but it ain’t gonna break any records getting up to that speed. And getting down from that speed? Well the brakes work, mostly, but not all 4 work with the same enthusiasm for their job. Those tiny tiny mirrors also really keep your head on a swivel. At least on the bike I can look around easier, the brakes are exactly as good as I want them to be, and I can accelerate out of trouble if I need to.
What’s the BEST part about driving an original Mini though? Wherever you park, when you come back you’ll find modern Minis parked on both sides like the world’s tiniest spontaneous car club wherever you go. Btw, modern Minis look like Tahoes when parked next to original Minis.
Finished inside like a magician’s top hat, just give it a few years before the involuntary tremors begin and then finish it all off with a nice dose of hallucinations and a slow, painful death. It’s just like Alice in Wonderland or that Tom Petty video!
I worked on an original Mini once. I was surprised at the interior space, but “four big adults and as much luggage as they’re ever likely to need“ is a bold claim.
Not if they’re nudists.
Well, can’t argue with that.
Those are some really… optimistic depictions of the interior space in a Mini.
Five people in a Mini? FIVE?!? Even if three are kids, that’s not gonna go well.
It’s surprisingly not bad for four adults – It’s cosy for sure but the rear legroom is not dramatically worse than the front. Three kids on the rear bench would be absolutely fine. Remember that most economy cars in the UK and Europe had about the same amount of space back then, it’s just that the mini was much more efficient about packaging.
Maybe just one meat pie for lunch then?
That wanker in the BMW didn’t use his winker!
About 13 years ago (right before my daughter was born) my wife and I were crossing Florida from Cape Canaveral to Disney World and we came up on a fully restored, clearly loved bright red OG mini. I had never seen one in the wild at that point. As I passed it in our RAV4 (with the 3.5 V6 – awesome SUV) I couldn’t get over how tiny it was. Interesting little cars.
Dippers and winkers sounds like what the British would call one of those dishes that involves unspeakable animal parts.
“Oi, Mum, what’s for supper?”
“Dippers and winkers!”
“My favorite!”
Dip those headlights, wanker!