Reports suggest that Tesla is still working on a “cheap” car, but it might not be anything special. Cheaper cars would be welcome in these trying times, but where would Tesla even find $10,000 or more to shave off of its cars? Beached Wail, help us out here:
There are lots of opportunities to cost-reduce the Model Y by $10,000:
- Remove the driver’s instrument cluster and put all readouts on a center screen
- Eliminate Apple CarPlay and Android Auto
- Delete turn signal and wiper stalks
- Remove all physical HVAC controls
- Buy cabin air vents that don’t have expensive directional control levers/knobs
- Avoid costly interior door release handles
- Make seats out of artificial “leather”
- Eliminate all paint color choices except red, blue, and monochrome, and charge extra for any non-black color
Oh, wait…
Look, there are still other ways to make the cars cheaper. Those pesky exterior door handles can go! Today, Matt also wrote about how the Navy turns aircraft carriers into giant roll-on roll-off ships to transport sailors’ cars. Ash78:
“Put it over there next to the A6”
“Didn’t we retire the A6?”
“No, the Audi, not the Intruder. But watch out for the A7, it might suck you in.”
“Because of the low intake?”
“No, because of its sleek 4-door coupe roofline and fastback!”
“I hate you. I’ll be over there checking out that Hellcat.”
“Watch out for propwash!”
In other ship news, a Ford Super Deluxe woody wagon was found in the sunken USS Yorktown. I like how Ranwhenparked is thinking about the bright side:
People joke about Ford’s quality control problems, but the original radiator is still full of water after 82 years.
Finally, let’s stop at Jason’s post about just how crazy tough Tonka trucks are. Ignatius J. Reilly:
In the mid ’70s when I was in 1st grade my class took a field trip to the Tonka factory. Everybody got a small version of their ubiquitous yellow dump truck. It was glorious.
I had a friend who lived across the street, and we each had a regular-sized version of that same dump truck. Our driveways ran downhill about 40 feet to the street, and we would sit on them and ride them into the road. As we got older, we would use two trucks as makeshift roller skates to zip down the hill.
IRegertNothing, Esq.:
This is all correct. After my mom backed over my prized Tonka dump truck that I had carefully left on the driveway it suffered nothing but some lost paint and a slightly warped bed. It could still roll and the bed still raised and lowered. The truck sound effects still worked too, since I was not playing with the truck when it was run over.
Have a great evening, everyone!
Ohh, nice ones in particular Ash78, yours has the shticky cadence of a comic strip, and IRegertNothing, Esq., expertly leaving the punchline as an exercise for the reader.
Indeed. Well played.
I have a friend who bought a Model Y two months ago and is convinced that the lack of features is somehow “premium”. It boggles my mind, though at the same time he also doesn’t think the Model Y is an ugly stinkbug, so I’m not sure what to think of his opinion anymore.
I think they look fine on the outside, but yeah, I’m far too disturbed by the lack of physical controls, let alone what buying one associates you with in recent times.
Less quantity means more quality, surely.