There’s no law that says only sunsets or vast desert vistas or the view of Earth from space have a monopoly on the concept of “breathtaking.” True, lung-emptying perfection can crop up almost anywhere, even in places where it seems the most unlikely. Like a strip mall driving school in Lakewood, Colorado. That’s where that picture you see above you came from, and it’s a real, un-altered photograph taken by the Lakewood Police Department. It’s like the hyperintelligent spiders that I assume control the universe decided that an ideal illustration of the concept of “irony” was needed, so they pulled the levers and rotated the knobs and pushed the buttons to make just that happen. And here it is. And it is absolutely glorious.
Thankfully there was only one minor injury. Several people were able to dive out of harms way. The driver, an instructor at the business, was cited for a traffic violation. pic.twitter.com/tJcWTWqfmO
— Lakewood Police Dept. (@LakewoodPDCO) August 8, 2023
I like how a pair of passing airplanes left contrails that formed a giant X over the scene, to let everyone know the exact spot where perfection was achieved.
First, I should say that nobody was seriously hurt here, so we can appreciate this magic guilt-free. The crash happened at the Community Driving School on Tuesday morning, and, incredibly, the driver of that Hyundai Tucson was a driving instructor employed by the driving school, as is noted in that Tweet from the Lakewood Police Department. Well, a new driving instructor, coming in for their second day of training, when they somehow managed to violate what I personally feel is one of the top three rules of good driving: don’t crash into any buildings.
A Denver 7 story about the fate of the driving instructor consulted the owner of the business, Steve Rohman, and explains things with a really admirable amount of deadpan restraint:
“Rohman said the driver is no longer employed at Community Driving School.”
I dearly, dearly hope that there was an exit interview, and the ex-instructor asked “other than driving through the front of the building in my personal car, can you please give me some reason why you’re letting me go?” I’m sorry this person lost their job that they just got – that’s always a difficult thing – but perhaps this is a sign that another line of work may allow them to thrive more? Besides, look at the result of this job loss: a perfect image was created! Who among us can say they had a hand in achieving perfection of any sort?
It’s such a perfect picture. How can this exist? Maybe we are in a simulation after all? How was this not planned? And it was a driving instructor? It’s all just too much. Why am I writing this up? They should have sent a poet!
Had a similar, but not nearly as perfectly poetic, incident happen a few years back near where I lived once upon a time.
A woman put her SUV through the front window of a local auto insurance agent.
https://i.imgur.com/9f3umms.jpg
If she had been pulling in just 3 more spots to the left, she would have created a story almost as good as this one.
https://i.imgur.com/gEfqIpa.jpg
(I hope the image links work since there’s no direct posting of images)
lmao. Yeah the links work.