Home » Three Americans and a German Set a Low Bar. Vote For Shitbox Of The Week!

Three Americans and a German Set a Low Bar. Vote For Shitbox Of The Week!

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Folks, it’s that time, the moment none of you have been waiting for. After hours of internet classified searches, many sleepless nights spent thinking up pop culture references to stump David, and a good solid five minutes devoted to meticulously researching each car, it has all come down to this. Four sub-$2500 cars. Only one can win.

It’s not even 5:30 here on the West Coast, but I’m calling it. Yesterday’s Shitbox Showdown was a 70-30 split; it’s clear that you all like Studebakers (and the band Devo, apparently). The 1976 Datsun 710 is also a worthy project, and many of you seem to agree, but we’re here to arbitrarily choose one car or the other, and yesterday that car was the 1962 Studebaker Lark.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Anyway, let’s recap our four finalists of the week; since you’ve all had your say, I’ll throw in my two cents as I go through these. That’s half a cent per car… yeah, that’s probably about what my opinion is worth.

1985 Volkswagen Scirocco: $500

I have a soft spot for Sciroccos. My first car was a ’79 Scirocco, in Diamond Silver Metallic and rust two-tone. I loved it until it succumbed to underbody rust so bad that it nearly broke in two. I actually cried a little when it went to the junkyard. I’ve wanted another ever since. One of these later Karmann Sciroccos would be all right, I guess, but It can’t hold a candle to that crisp folded-paper Giugiaro original. But for 500 bones, if I had the space and bandwidth for another car project, I’d have bought this yesterday. (And it looks like someone did; the ad is gone.)

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I’ve never been a fan of flat black; I’d put it back to the original red, I think. I’ve been wanting to try that “Rust-Oleum and a foam roller” paint job, and this would be a good candidate. The ripped and busted GTI seats would have to go, as would that tacky aftermarket steering wheel (what is that, an EMPI knockoff?). Then I’d do what these old early water cooled VWs do best: just drive.

1975 Buick Skylark: $2000

This one surprised me; I didn’t expect it to win. I like it, but I didn’t think anyone else would. Chalk one up for seventies GM nostalgia, I guess. Or I underestimated the overall dislike for the PT Cruiser. But this Buick is a sharp-looking car inside and out, and the transmission issue could be as simple as a fluid change and a cable adjustment. (Or it might not be. You pays your money, you takes your chances).

Since bolt-on self-tuning electronic fuel injection systems became a thing, I’ve wondered what they would do for the drivability of these old early smog boat-anchor engines. Low-compression no-cam-lift V8s like this run forever, but they barely run in the first place. I’d be curious to see what a Holley Sniper EFI kit would do to this old Oldsmobile 260. Not with the goal of improving performance, just making it run properly. And as I said in the original post, I’m a sucker for a liftback.

2009 Ford Crown Victoria: $800

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I wouldn’t want this car for myself, honestly. Too big, too new, and I would get annoyed by the police-car stigma quickly, I think. But I’m sure somebody will want to fix it up. It sure got enough votes; this was our most lopsided win of the week.

1962 Studebaker Lark VIII Wagon: $2500

Studebaker Lark wagon

I agree with David; I love this car. But I’m even less equipped to take this on as a project than I would be the Scirocco. To do this car justice, you need to devote yourself to it. You need to eat, breathe, and sleep Studebaker. You need a garage space with a lift dedicated to it, and the patience to take it apart and assess the condition of each system and lovingly coax it back into working order. This isn’t some damn common Ford Falcon; it’s a Studebaker, for Pete’s sake, and you need to treat it with respect. And then, when you’ve found out where to get parts, go drive the wheels off it. I couldn’t do that with this car because my MGB GT would get jealous. And when a British car gets jealous, watch out. Get ready to break out the multimeter.

In short, for my money, it’d be a hard choice between the Scirocco and the Skylark. But I don’t have to make that choice; you do. I’ll announce the winner on Monday, and then we’ll take a look at two new bad ideas. See you then!

 

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Quiz MakerImages: Sellers

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wcbouche
wcbouche
2 years ago

Resident data nerd checking in. The graph trending votes may be referenced from GMT instead of a timezone relative to the posting time on the site. Loving the site and happy to help make it better!

JfromNJ
JfromNJ
2 years ago
Reply to  wcbouche

Wouldn’t the trend be calculated by “x amount of time” AFTER poll was created? Time zone shouldn’t affect results. Wether you vote at 10 am, while I do at 9, we still both voted an hour after poll was created?

Dodsworth
Dodsworth
2 years ago

I have to vote for the Lark. When I was very young I used to watch Mr. Ed. Their main sponsor was Studebaker. The commercials depressed me because I knew that nobody would buy their sad, little car. Redemption!

crankface
crankface
2 years ago

I voted Scirocco – way to many memories in my buddies 1st gen. “Rocco” – was green paint and tan interior.

agenttango
agenttango
2 years ago

I voted Scirocco, but love the Studebaker; for reasons covered though I’m not about to put years into restoring it. That VW would be fun to hoon, slow car fast style.

Slow Joe Crow
Slow Joe Crow
2 years ago

The Studebaker is cool but the Scirocco is near and dear to my heart

Toreador
Toreador
2 years ago

For me it’d be the scirocco, if i found a nicer one for around 3k id definetely be a buyer. But that studebaker is just so cool. And a little fugly, but that’s ok. Because its a studebaker.

Outofstep
Outofstep
2 years ago

I went Scirocco here because as awesome as the Studebaker is I don’t think I could have the patience to get it back to the condition it deserves. I’m talking full on restoration. The Scirocco would be basically just a cheap red paint job and an interior replacement and driving it until the doors fell off.

The Toecutter
The Toecutter
2 years ago

If I needed a cheap daily, I’d pick the Crown Vic and find a salavage yard Mustang V8 to put into it.

My own personal tastes bias toward the Scirocco. It has the lowest curb weight and lowest CdA of the four choices. It would make the best racing machine, and if I were to convert any of these cars to electric, the most efficient platform for conversion. Plus, there’s potential to shove a 1.9L 4-cylinder TDI into the Scirocco and get something with impressive performance and fuel economy for minimal expense and labor, relative to the time/expense restomodding the other cars to my liking.

The Studebaker is definitely the best looking of the bunch from an aesthetic standpoint.

I voted for the Scirocco.

Delorean859
Delorean859
2 years ago

I’m torn between the Scirocco and the Crown Vic as my favorites this week, but the Scirocco edges out. Some time with better paint prep and spray could leave me with a pretty decent example that I don’t need to worry about keeping perfect.

Isis
Isis
2 years ago

The poll is going in the correct order for me right now. Studebaker, Buick, VW, Ford. I like the ford panthers, but there are better examples out there.

Vic Vinegar
Vic Vinegar
2 years ago

Studebaker is the coolest, but like the article says, would require a lot of time and money to do right by it.

The VW is dirt cheap, and probably has the second best upside here to the Studebaker without requiring so much dedication. VW it is.

Brummbaer
Brummbaer
2 years ago

Been a Studebaker fan since 1961 when a 1952 Studebaker Champion became my first car.

chad Face
chad Face
2 years ago

It wasn’t until I went to vote did I realize that the crown vic is a 2009. Good God that styling is dated. I drive a 2006 touareg and it looks 15 years newer than that thing!

The vic is probably the most reasonable purchase based on age and reliability. Sucks it has low compression but I imagine it would be pretty easy to do a head job or find a motor for it.

I voted for the vw though. I have a soft spot for those cars and pretty much any vw that’s not a Routan

Nlpnt
Nlpnt
2 years ago

I voted Scirocco because I have a “good” car and the VW would be the most fun to drive as a project when finished. The Stude would be the most fun to show off, though.

And if you need transportation, the Vic would be the best beater of the bunch.

Thomas Metcalf
Thomas Metcalf
2 years ago
Reply to  Nlpnt

Each one has some advantage. Better just get all of them.

Arrest-me Red
Arrest-me Red
2 years ago

This was tough call because all are good options. I ended up with the Buick just for the oddball factor. Most people would say pop the trunk, followed by WTAF?

chad Face
chad Face
2 years ago
Reply to  Arrest-me Red

“WTAF”
Does the A stand for what I think it stands for? If so, I might have a new favorite saying…

Turbo1BDP
Turbo1BDP
2 years ago
Reply to  chad Face

Actual

Craig Ford
Craig Ford
2 years ago
Reply to  chad Face

Actual

Acrimonious Mofo
Acrimonious Mofo
2 years ago

I voted for the Studebaker full well expecting to click next and see the Dub as the runaway favorite. Glad to see the core audience here is a bunch of suckers for weird manual wagons.

Bob Jablonski
Bob Jablonski
2 years ago

Scirocco is the most contemporary and most likely to be actually driven, Lark is just an old car and will either get piles of $$$ or nothing

Bo Monroe
Bo Monroe
2 years ago

Easy. The Studebaker is by far and away the most interesting car in this pile with the Scirocco a comfortable second. The other two? Crush’em.

TXJeepGuy
TXJeepGuy
2 years ago

Lark fight!

Frankencamry
Frankencamry
2 years ago

I am 100% confident that a name containing lark is taking this week’s crown.

It's Pronounced Porch-ah
It's Pronounced Porch-ah
2 years ago

For me, it was between the Scirocco and the Lark, I just can’t deny that v8 manual wagon.

Icouldntfindaclevername
Icouldntfindaclevername
2 years ago

I had to go with the Skylark over the Crown Vic

Shop-Teacher
Shop-Teacher
2 years ago

Gimme that Skylark! The TH350 in my ’74 Buick Apollo only cost me $600 to have rebuilt by a good local shop, including the labor to take it in and out. Granted that was about a decade ago, but even if it was a grand now, you’re still only $3 grand into a VERY clean car.

JfromNJ
JfromNJ
2 years ago
Reply to  Shop-Teacher

Consider all the crap they have to take off on this newer cars for a “tune up”. Look at the average time it takes to tune up a car like the Lark,
Compared to something from the last decade.
Even with going the route of electric (steering, drive by wire brakes, etc), it’s way more complicated than it has to be.

My first car was an 89 Cougar XR-7. While at the time it had quite a few “electric features”, it was still an *ANALOG* engine. Wrenched quite a bit on it, all the while beating it into the ground. I’m 34, and kick myself in the ass, because when I got it, it is what most of y’all would consider “excellent” condition. Paint was beautiful, that faux vinyl top was custom done by Joe-Schmo (which was clean; no tears, sag, fade, or anything like that). Perhaps that’s why I went with the Crown Vic in the poll (I sadly have an affection for shitbox Fords lol).

I am currently facing issues with a family members 2010 Buick LaCrosse. Air bleed tube from the block to the overflow blew. No one has the part (fun fact – I found out they share the same part with a similarly aged Cadillac?) yet still, no one has it. Getting it shipped atm. While Ford is known for their issues (I don’t envy an F150 owner from the last 20 years lol), growing up, I’ve had the worst experiences with GMs. (We use mostly Chevys for our work vans, the issues with them are all over the place)!

FORDtttthewin

JurassicComanche25
JurassicComanche25
2 years ago

Buick dropped to 2000! Id say thats a winner right there.

Zane Campen
Zane Campen
2 years ago

I gotta got Studebaker here. It’s going to require a decent amount of work but the end result will be the best of all 4 here. The VW was a close second for me.

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