I’m not sure how much attention you’ve been paying to this – I can’t say I really have been – but President Biden was just interviewed over two days by special counsel Robin Hur regarding the handling of classified materials. It seems Biden had some classified documents from the days when he was Vice President in the Obama administration in his private residences, including his garage. There seems to be a bit of a “classified documents in the wrong places” epidemic going on, because, remember, former president Donald Trump had a ton of boxes of classified documents in one of Mar-A-Lago’s super-classy shitters. But, right now we’re talking about Biden’s handling of these potentially sensitive materials, and a whole transcript of the interview proceedings has been released. As you likely suspect, this is some really boring reading, with one notable exception: Biden has a couple of times where he digresses off to talk cars! Finally! Something worth discussing and entering into the record!
He mostly talks about his Corvette, but branches out a bit to explain how launch control works. And despite a couple of attempts to bring Biden back to the boring stuff of talking about boxes of documents, Biden resists and keeps talking about cars.
I mean, can you blame him? This is literally two days of interviews about fucking long-term records storage. Is a more boring subject even possible? It’s records storage! There’s no way anyone can look at a box of documents and say, “Man, we stored the shit out of that thing, didn’t we?” and then high-five. It’s records storage. It’s boring as hell, I don’t care how classified this stuff is. Of course if someone brings up cars, you’re going to hang onto that spark of excitement as long as possible.
Biden’s prized 1967 Corvette convertible comes up a surprising number of times in the transcript because it seems these boxes of documents were sharing space with the Corvette in the garage and with the car’s hardtop in some shed, and, yeah, they probably shouldn’t have been there. I guess? I don’t know how any of that works.
But let’s get to the good parts, where the car talk is. The big car digressions start on page 66, as Biden talks about when the Corvette was out of the garage, being prepared for a shoot on Jay Leno’s Garage. Biden is being questioned by Deputy to the Special Counsel Marc Krickbaum:
PRESIDENT BIDEN: It may have been — and by the way, to complicate things. In the meantime, my Corvette was being worked on because I had to do that show with —
MR. KRICKBAUM: Jay Leno.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: Jay Leno. Didn’t have to, I wanted to do that show with Jay Leno. (Laughter)
PRESIDENT BIDEN: And there was a kid who used to help me take care of my Corvette. Didn’t work for me, but — and — I can get his name. And he pulled it in and out to, you know, work on the carburetor, you know, whatever, get it up to the Chevrolet dealer (indiscernible 0:56:06.1) whatever. So there was a lot of stuff going in and out, but I don’t remember when the boxes came or where they came from.
MR. KRICKBAUM: Do you remember whether it was when the Corvette was coming back after the Jay Leno show? So, in other words, it goes out for Jay Leno, eventually it comes back.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: Oh, no, it was, it was in and out for a bunch of reasons.
MR. KRICKBAUM: Okay.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: Because it drove me crazy; I wanted to drive it.
I believe this is the segment on Leno’s show that was being referenced:
After this part, Biden seems to just keep wanting to talk cars, and, even better, makes car sounds:
MR. KRICKBAUM: Got it. That makes sense; a beautiful car.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: And the worst part was, they said I couldn’t drive it outside the driveway. It’s a long driveway. So I’d get it to the bottom of the driveway, tack it up to about four grand (indiscernible 0:56:44.0) (makes car sound) (indiscernible 0:56:47.0). (Laughter)
PRESIDENT BIDEN: You think I’m kidding; I’m not.
MR. KRICKBAUM: We believe you.
MR. HUR: I believe you. Yes.
The transcriptionist (which is probably a machine) didn’t realize it’s tach it up to four grand, not “tack,” but we’ll let that slide. I wonder how Biden’s impression of a Chevy 327 running at 4,000 rpm sounds? I bet a fair amount of spit gets ejected.
Biden continues, undeterred, moving from his Corvette to talking about EVs he got to drive and other cars like the new Ford Bronco:
PRESIDENT BIDEN: Probably one of the best parts to being Vice President and President, I get to drive all these, you know, electric vehicles. I have. Damn, they’re quick. (Laughter)
PRESIDENT BIDEN: You know, think about this. You had one of those big 4 x 4s, the — I think it’s a Ford Bronco, whatever it is. Zero to sixty in 4 6.
MR. HUR: Yes.
MR. KRICKBAUM: Instant torque.
MR. HUR: That’s fast.
Good on Mr.Krickbaum for being aware that EVs deliver all their torque from 0 rpm!
This next part may be my favorite because it has precisely fuck-all to do with the hearing. Biden wants to explain how launch control works instead, and he does, despite Mr.Hur trying to steer things back to boring document storage talk:
PRESIDENT BIDEN: Yeah. By the way, you know how it works?
PRESIDENT BIDEN: It’s really cool.
MR. HUR: Sir, I’d love — I would love, love to hear much more about this, but I do have a few more questions to get through.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: You can take 30 seconds, but you put your foot on the brake, you hit, you hit a button that’s in the — and it says “launch.” (Laughter)
PRESIDENT BIDEN: You step your foot on the accelerator all the way down —
MR. HUR: Woah.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: — until it gets to about 6, 7 grand. Then all of a sudden, it will say “launch.” All you do is take your foot off the brake. (Makes car sound) (Laughter)
MR. HUR: It’s on my bucket list.
And there we have the second example of Biden making car noises in the transcript.
Don’t take any of this as some evidence of a political agenda – you vote for whomever the hell you’d like – but when there’s an official government document that involves the current president derailing an official interview because he just had to explain how launch control works, complete with sound effects, then I think that’s worth pointing out. Because, holy crap, does that feel relatable and familiar. If I’m ever in a government inquiry situation you can be damn well sure I’ll waste as much time as possible explaining how the Volkswagen Beetle used the air pressure of the spare tire to operate the windshield washer or whatever. Just try me.
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Honestly? Same.
If I don’t go full Digression Mode, I’m probably going to at least describe things in car terms. I always discuss every price in numbers of beater 944s I can acquire, anyway.
Mr. Hur: Mr. President, how do you adjust the fuel injection on the 396 cubic inch V8 in your 1965 Corvette?
President Biden: It’s a trick question. Nobody could answer that question.
Mr. Hur: The President obviously doesn’t know his Corvettes from the files on Cuban missiles.
Transcriber: Let the President speak. Let the President speak.
President Biden: It’s a trick question because Chevy introduced a 396 cubic inch engine that only came with a four barrel carburetor in 1965. It was cheaper than the Rochester fuel injected 327, so Chevy dropped that engine after selling just 771 examples. But if you must know, the hot set up on the 396 was to replace the .335″ carburetor jets with the .310″ jets and set the timing to 15 degrees before top dead center. Man, that thing would burn some rubber, Jack!
In the realm of today’s apology and rewrite of Adrains article, can you explain the necessity of including the comment on former President Trumps handling of classified documents when the article was clearly about President Biden, and his Corvette and classified documents. Its inclusion provided exactly zero value to the article in one way or the other.
Now I typically wouldnt comment on such a superfluous inclusion because it doesnt ultimately have an impact on my life and it’s factually accurate (facts are facts whether or not you like the guy), but since I read this article after the apology post, it just felt weird that Adrian got chastised (to be fair, I have yet to read his original article) but this seemed like a step backwards.
Now again, I looked at the time stamps and absolutely recognize that it was a “throw away” line in an article that admirably had very little (if any) political agenda, and published before the article in question… but my point is simply, In the quest to include all, make sure you hold yourself to the same standards.
I admire the mission and transparency that this site is trying the achieve and and recognize the delicate dance that is. Nothing that has happened in the last two days changes that and I’ll still be here for a long time. Great work overall guys. I appreciate what you are doing every day.
Thank you for deftly skirting politics on this one. Like many others, the apolitical nature of this site is one of the reasons I enjoy it so much.
And now that he’s been president he’ll never be allowed to drive himself again. Heartbreaking.
Yet another reason, when I’m asked, I’ll decline the offer to become President. No, no. Don’t beg. That’s my final answer.
Investigator: President Torchinsky, please tell us where you’ve been storing sensitive, confidential files regarding the ATP (Anthropomorphic Train Program).
President Torchinsky: Do you know much about air-cooled Volkswagens?
Investigator: No, not in particu-
President Torchinsky: Well sit down, I have a yarn to spin! Oh don’t mind the chainsaw, just set it down next to the computer I use to generate my unique robot pixel art.
Investigator: Nevermind, we’re done here.
“Okay so it started with some Brazilian tail lights….”
My candidate could beat your candidate in a race, bro. All he’s gotta do is install a turbo, bro.
make sure he checks the tire pressure on that BMW, bro
Here’s a retrospective of the reporting of America’s Finest News Source on the vice-presidential term of Diamond Joe Biden.
Glad the actual trascripts make Hur come off as a bit partisan, if we take it easy.
I mean, can we blame him?
I’d much rather hear about Biden’s ‘Vette instead of a bunch of documents that should be available to any American that wants to see them.
President Biden: So, I said the guy “I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters. Not the mortgage, or the store, not my team and their bullshit. For ten seconds I’m free.”
Mr. Hur: So, what happens next
President Biden: Well, he buys a Supra for me right. Fast car, but expensive. We had to overnight parts from Japan, Jack. Anyways, I just wanted a ten second car. But we somehow wound up racing my Charger that does wheelies.
Mr. Hur: Woah
President Biden: Oh yeah, get that thing up to seven grand and front end just lifts
Mr. Hur: It’s on my bucket list.
Genius. I tip my hat to you.
Jeez, sounds like my grandfather. No matter what the conversation was about, he always managed to steer the talk back to his days as a Prohibition bootlegger.
I guess because it’s past the statute of limitations, how could that not always be the most interesting thing to talk about?
Depends on how many times you’ve been subjected to it.
I was about to say—I wanna hear THOSE stories.
He may be 800 years old, but he’s clearly a kid at heart when it comes to cars.
It’s so obvious to me that he’s was 100% fucking with them because of the farcical nature of the entire situation. Vroom, Vroom!
Absolutely! Going into the details of launch control while they squirm with impatience is *chef kiss*
There’s a… new balance… in the force.
Now remind me, was the force cross plane or flat?
Hoka, not new balance.
https://www.msn.com/en-ae/news/other/new-sneakers-joe-biden-rocks-sturdy-150-sneakers-as-part-of-his-aides-constant-bid-to-stop-him-slipping-and-falling/ar-BB1ixqxY
This is one of the methods I’ve used in the past to get rid of people I don’t want to interact with or to teach a lesson to an obsequious guy who would walk through my lab and ask how I or my boss were doing as he opened up the door to go through without any intent to even acknowledge a standard response (it worked—he stopped asking). I’d have done the same thing here and, if not cars, than one of many other things I can go on about if for no other reason than to amuse myself watching them get annoyed or bored.
Upvoted for “obsequious” which I learned from a Steve Martin record when I was very young:
“be obsequious and have your knees removed”
I call this the “Colin Robinson”.
It’s a tactic I’ve used more than a few times.
Never mess with an energy vampire.
First time I saw that character, I think I laughed for 5 minutes straight. An energy vampire has to be one of the most brilliantly hilarious ideas I’d heard in my life and that actor could not be any more perfect for the role.
Whenever I watch this guy drive/talk cars, knowing the other guy couldn’t drive a stick shift if his life depended on it, I can’t help but think about all the people who say “he’s one of us”. I realize neither of the contenders drink alcohol (hence, I’d rather have a beer with anybody else at the bar than either of these two), but I know who I’d rather coffee with.
Not that who you would rather have coffee with or talk cars with should impact who you vote for.
I’d rather have ice cream with Joe while talking about cars.
Because with the other guy, there’s a good chance I’d wind up wearing it.
I don’t like or support Trump. But he did have a Lamborghini Diablo with a 5 speed so the other guy must be able to drive stick.
Doesn’t mean he drove it. He could have just owned it for the image. He’s very much about image. I can’t really think of what else he is about.
I do remember reading an interview where the former president was asked what he’d miss being able to do, and he said driving. It wasn’t an interview with Motoring Bastards Monthly or anything like that, so I don’t imagine he was lying.
(And if anyone has paid attention to my occasional posts here, they wouldn’t imagine I’d be one of the former president’s defenders – and while I get and even sympathize with the frustration of those who complain about the intrusion of politics, I also suspect that none of those so frustrated are among the considerable number of Americans and others who could be subject to an existential threat beyond the more generalized Project 2025
bullsh…, um… initiative.)Were his lips moving? He was lying.
It was in print and I didn’t see the laughter of the United Nations General Assembly cited, so I guess it could go either way.
Back when he could nominally fit into one
How is it that two teetotaler poiticians have driven so many to drink?
The next round better offer up a friendly homebrewer as a choice, goshdarnit. I really shouldn’t trust any of y’all unless you go off on a weird digression on specific gravities mid-stump-speech and/or that time you accidentally made a giant container of five-year-old vinegar under the stairwell.
Yes! Can you imagine if we had a Department of Homebrew Security?
If he was a bit younger & more spry, I’d nominate Jimmy Carter for head (emeritus, maybe) of the department. Home brewing was made legal during his administration.
I mean Donald was born in 1946. He could have gotten his license in 1962. It’s very unlikely that anybody this age can’t proficiently drive a manual transmission.
I’d bet that he hasn’t had cause to drive himself around in decades, if he ever did on a regular basis – plenty of New Yorkers never learn. He’s also old enough to have seen the automatic transmission go from an option to the default or only choice. And if a manual transmission could be considered the cheaper, less “luxe” one, which do you think tfg would go for?
Okay, maybe proficient is the wrong word, maybe he’s rusty, but I was objecting to the statement that he couldn’t drive manual to save his life. Because he definitely had the skill once.
If having owned a Lamborghini is the only thing that suggests he knows how to operate a clutch, my money is on he doesn’t know how & never did.
You don’t read too well, huh? Owning a Lamborghini is not the only thing that suggests he knows how to operate a clutch. He, and anybody else who’s 77 years old, learned to drive on a manual transmission car. That’s the argument I’m making, and I never mentioned Lamborghinis.
You’re right that it’s unlikely, but it’s possible. His family had the money to hire a car service with drivers and the automatic transmission was commercially available in the late 40s. By 1962, there were a lot of options with automatic transmissions, and someone with money would have been easily able to drive only automatics if they wanted. I don’t know if he did, but it was an option.
I do suspect he has driven a manual, though. You don’t buy ostentatious cars without the desire to be seen in them, so he would have at least wanted to drive them a bit. Even if he hadn’t learned before, he had the resources to get someone to teach him when he had them.
The bigger question is whether he’s ever driven fast. I suspect he’s a much bigger fan of cruising than carving corners. Which is fine, but a waste of the Lambo.
Fuck yeah! The man loves his car. I am imagining being stuck sitting next to him on a plane, and him finding any pretense to tell me all about his Corvette. “Oh hey, your shirt is a shade of green, like my… CORVETTE!”
I like how Colin Powel shows up at the end with his C6.
And thank you for not getting political. That’s one of the many reasons I like this site, and why I don’t read that other site anymore.
All in favor of canceling one of the Trump v Biden debates in favor of a friendly race around Laguna Seca?
I’m in. Could be interesting, as Trump did own a Ferrari at some point in the ’80s, but it’s unclear if he ever actually drove it.
It was an automatic and he only put 2400 miles on it in several years.
I thought Trump, famously, doesn’t know how to drive.
That just makes for a more interesting race.
Not even when listening to Taylor Swift?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coR3ayUHJTQ
How about in cars they both used to be in?
Biden: https://carsandbids.com/auctions/rMb04Rok/2018-cadillac-ats-v-sedan
Trump: https://www.motortrend.com/news/heres-your-chance-to-own-donald-trumps-lamborghini-diablo/
Fair enough.
It would have to be in shitboxes kinda like what Top Gear used to do. “And now for our stars in reasonably-priced cars!”
“Some call him the President of the United States of America. Some say he’s the leader of the free woooorld. We call him…President Stig.”
Nice fellow. Doesn’t talk much in-character. President Stig has my vote.
I would prefer that in lieu of another election.
Think of the ramifications!
Miss Mercedes for Prez: given the Gamblers she’s done, I think she’d have a shot 😉
I would vote for Mercedes over Biden/Trump in a real election!
oh hell yeah
There are so many comments I want to make but I don’t want to devolve into a horrible back and forth with anyone.
So I’ll just say that I think it would be pretty fucking cool to talk to Joe Biden about cars.
Right, I’m not big on any politician, even as a Union guy I BARELY like Biden more than Trump, but I could hang out in a garage and shoot the shit about corvettes with him just as a person for sure.
I suspect “explaining how the Volkswagen Beetle used the air pressure of the spare tire to operate the windshield washer or whatever” is your answer to a number of inquiries, including “Would you like fries with that?”
Fries, man. I’ll pass on the fries unless I’m really hungry and expect to eat them all in one sitting. Try to warm them up on Type 4 headers and you’ll end up with the kind of sad, soggy, limp-potato mess that In-N-Out tries to sell as “fries.”
Y’all got any potato salad back there? The warm, vinegary German-spec kind—now there’s the kind of potato dish that would warm up well in a hot aircooled engine bay. It’s like them Swabians knew.